The Life (11 page)

Whatever the reason, Davey knew that, out of the boys, he had a special bond with Tania. They all loved her, but it was a haphazard affection, just because she was there. Now she was starting to become a little person, and Davey knew he was already wrapped round her little finger.

Lena watched her big, handsome son holding his sister and she smiled happily. Davey adored the child, he was a good lad and he’d grown up a lot since Tania’s birth. She liked to see them together – the other boys were not as enamoured with their little sister, they just accepted her as part of the family. To them Tania would only ever be someone they felt the need to protect; none of them would ever really know the girl. Except Davey, of course – he already knew her, already understood her, in fact.

‘She loves you, Davey.’

He smiled. ‘Why wouldn’t she, Mum? She knows I’d do anything for her.’

Lena laughed. As she poured out the tea she heard the back door open and, smiling widely, she said loudly, ‘Might have known you’d smell a cuppa, Delroy. I’m sure you can hear a kettle boil from fifty paces!’

Delroy grinned. He looked like a young Harry Belafonte when he smiled, and his grin had got him out of many a scrape through his life. He did not underestimate its power. ‘I do love a cuppa – you know that, Mrs Bailey, never refuse one!’

He was telling the truth; Delroy Parkes loved a cup of tea. Even in his youth, when he had been arrested then released, he wouldn’t leave the police station if a cup of tea was in the offing. He enjoyed his tea more than anything else in the world. He drank, but not as much as people would think; in reality, he could quite happily be teetotal. He drank to be sociable, that was all.

As he sipped his tea, he looked down at the little girl in Davey’s arms and marvelled at just how beautiful she was. He was not a baby person, but no one could deny the attraction of this little girl; she was like a fucking poster baby for health and beauty. The Pears’ baby looked like a fucking freak in comparison! She had such a good nature too – all that combined made her a special little kid. She held her arms out for a cuddle and he took her without hesitating. She snuggled into him, and he marvelled at how comfortable she was with everyone who came into her orbit.

‘Hello, you!’

She was laughing at him, and he liked that she was happy in his arms, that she trusted him, felt safe. He turned to Davey. ‘You ready for the off?’ Daniel and Peter wanted to start getting
the older boys involved in the day-to-day running of the business, and Delroy was helping to show them the ropes.

‘Sure, Del.’ Davey was all eagerness. ‘I’ll get me coat.’

Davey left the room and Lena said quietly, ‘How is everything, Delroy? Are Peter and Daniel all right?’ She was smiling but he could see the tension in her face. He knew she asked him the questions she couldn’t ask her husband or any of her family, even Ria. She couldn’t ask anyone else because it would be tantamount to treason as far as she was concerned. She would never betray her husband, never make him feel she was checking up on him. If she questioned him or his actions he would never forgive her. Their whole world had turned their backs on him, and this woman knew that her husband had overstepped the mark, had somehow fucked up big time. She also knew that as long as he thought she was ignorant of that fact, Daniel could look her in the eye. Delroy really respected Mrs Bailey for her loyalty, even though he believed it was misplaced.

‘Yeah, they’re cool, Mrs Bailey.’ He hated lying to her but what could he do? He couldn’t tell her the truth, he couldn’t tell her that her husband was a fucking imbecile who had nearly caused the early demise of not only himself, but his own brother. He could not tell her that her husband was right now one of the most hated men to ever walk the streets of London Town. She had to be aware of it anyway; after all, it wasn’t like it was a big secret or anything.

Davey came back into the kitchen putting on his leather jacket and Delroy breathed a sigh of relief. He passed the baby to her mother and, gulping the last of his tea, he was happy to finally leave the house.

Ria was thrilled. Her daughter was finally pregnant, and she was so pleased for her. If ever a girl needed a child in her arms it was her Imelda. She needed more in her life than her husband, who she loved with a passion so intense it was a wonder it didn’t burn them both up.

Ria was heart-sorry for her at times. Imelda’s feelings for Delroy were not healthy; she was consumed by him twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Ria could almost smell the fear that he would leave her. It was hard for Delroy because she knew he loved this girl of hers, but Imelda could not bring herself to believe it. For the life of her, Ria could not understand why.

Imelda had been given every chance in life – she had been brought up to believe she was loved and cherished, not just by Ria and Peter, but by her brothers too. Imelda had been literally worshipped from the moment she had entered this world. So why, Ria asked herself on a daily basis, did her daughter have no confidence in herself at all?

‘You’ll be a great mum, Imelda. You can’t even imagine what it’s like to grow a child inside you and then bring it into the world. From the second you feel it stir inside your belly, and feel the strength of it, you change. Suddenly no one else in the world can ever replace that child in your affections. It’s like you suddenly understand what this life is really about.’

Imelda smiled, but she had the feeling that her mother was warning her about something, and she didn’t like it. She put her hand instinctively on to her belly, and wondered what the child she held within her would bring into her life. Until now she had seen it simply as the glue that would keep Delroy by her side, his own flesh and blood, his own kin. She realised that she had not once thought of the baby as hers too, only as an extension of her husband, and an invisible tie between them. Now, though, the enormity of what was happening hit her; she was going to produce a real live human being, who was going to need her for the rest of its life. And she knew that she would need it too.

She looked at her mother then, and knew that her mother saw that she was not just in love with Delroy, she was consumed by him.

‘I can’t help it, Mum. I just know that without him I would die.’

Ria smiled sadly. ‘Listen, love, we all felt like that at the beginning, but I can tell you now, if you don’t learn how to manage your emotions, he will run for the hills, baby or no baby. He is not stupid, Imelda. Eventually he’ll know that he can never live up to your expectations – no one could, darling. You want him within your eyeline day and night. I’ve watched you, seen the way you watch him, and my heart has broken for you. But I am finally saying what I’ve wanted to say for so long. If you don’t learn to step back, you’ll drive him away from you. You knew he was a ladies’ man, you knew he was a villain, you knew
everything
about him, and you
still
wanted him anyway. Fuck knows, you were determined to have him. You got what you wanted, now you need to learn to be content with that. Because I’m telling you, darling, there ain’t a man on earth, or a woman for that matter, who could take that much loving. Marriage is a partnership, and to keep it going you have to look away sometimes,
make a point of not asking the questions you want to ask. And you have to be honest with yourself first, and ask only if you really want to know the answers.’

Imelda knew that her mother was right. She was warning her, was trying to tell her what she already knew – that she had to somehow control these feelings that she had for Delroy, and stop the overpowering love she had for him, before it destroyed their marriage completely. ‘I know you’re right, Mum, and I know I need to calm down, and I will try. But it’s like I’m possessed sometimes. I can hear myself shouting and raving, and I know it’s wrong, I know I am irrational. But it’s like someone else is doing it, and I hate myself for it.’

Ria hugged her daughter, and wondered again at how this girl who had always been a sensible head, who had always been the most reasonable, albeit the most strong-minded of her children, had turned into this jealous, insecure woman. ‘Listen, love, all the children in the world won’t keep him beside you. Children put more of a strain on a marriage than anything else. All that shite about it bringing you closer is just that – shite. For the first few years you won’t sleep enough, you won’t eat properly and your sex life will be almost non-existent. But if you can get through it all, I promise you,
that
is when you finally bond together. And, remember this, when you have a baby in a cot,
you
can’t walk out of the house.
He
can, but you can’t. You’re stuck there no matter how angry you might be or how murderous you’re feeling.
He
can walk out, go down the pub, whatever. You are trapped like a bloody rabbit, and I can tell you now, it is one of the most frustrating feelings you will ever experience. But I can also tell you that if you learn how to calm yourself down, learn how to channel your anger into the home, or the washing, you will eventually come out the other side, frazzled, but with your marriage in one piece. Your father was
out all hours of the day and night – that was his life, and I accepted that. We ain’t married to nine-to-fivers, love – you picked Delroy knowing he was like your dad. You can’t expect him to change now. So, listen to me. Get a grip, accept your life, accept his lifestyle, or run a mile now. Because he ain’t ever going to change.’

Imelda knew her mother was offering her the chance to walk away from her marriage; she was telling her that if she wanted to, she could come back here with her baby and start again. But she couldn’t. She could no more leave Delroy than she could cut her own throat.

Knowing that her mother understood how she was feeling was a relief in itself, though. She could come to her now, she could ask her advice, she had a sounding board and she had a feeling that, without this conversation, she would eventually have lost her mind.

‘I love you, Mum.’

Ria smiled sadly. ‘I love you too, poppet.’

She glanced at their reflection in the mirror and she saw how old she was getting, and how this daughter of hers was ageing too quickly because of her constant scowl. She already had the beginnings of lines around her eyes and her mouth. But she was still a truly beautiful girl, and she deserved much more in her life than she had now.

‘Come on, Peter, I’ve held me hand up, I’ve swallowed about as much as I can without a fucking stomach pump. So I’m asking you nicely, with a pretty please, and a cherry on the top: can I have the debts back?’

Peter Bailey looked into his brother’s eyes. They were a real blue, just like his mum’s. She had the same big eyes, the same deep blue colour. All Daniel’s kids had inherited them as well. Peter’s kids were brown-eyed like him; he had hoped years ago that one of them would get those blue eyes, but it had never happened.

Now, looking at Daniel’s eyes, seeing how much he resembled their mum, and knowing that, deep down, he had always secretly envied his brother because of that, he wondered how this state of affairs had ever come about. ‘I am willing to give you the debts, Dan, but you have to promise me you will not give any unnecessary grief to the people you come into contact with.’

Daniel closed his eyes in genuine consternation. ‘Don’t you think I’ve been shamed enough, Peter? Do you think I don’t know what people think of me? Do you really think I am that fucking stupid? I want the debts because I am good at collecting, and I want to prove that I am ready to take on some of the responsibility again. After all, we are supposed to be partners, ain’t we?’

Peter knew how hard that was for his brother to say out loud. Daniel would never get over the shame of being blackballed by those he had seen as no more than his workforce. These were men who liked Lenny Jones, but who also knew that if they did not do something about his treatment, they could well find that they were next. Peter got that; he really could see their point of view. Daniel, though, believed he was the victim of jealousy and grudges.

Daniel was convinced he had already paid his penance ten times over. As far as he was concerned, Lenny Jones was a fucking old man; he should have had more sense than to mouth off to him and treat him like a cunt. He had got no more than what he deserved, and not before time either.

Peter sighed. ‘I’m saying, Daniel, that I will bring you back into the fold, but only on the debts. I can’t justify having you back on board in any other capacity unless you can guarantee to me that you will toe the line. I have to listen to the people I’m working with now. They don’t want
you
. They see you as a liability; you bring too much attention on not only yourself, but everyone you are associated with. I have argued your case, believe me. But your reputation, as always, precedes you. It’s a different ball game, Dan. You can’t just do what you like any more.’

Daniel didn’t answer his brother. He didn’t trust himself; all he could see was the complete and utter disloyalty of it. How could his brother, who had been closer to him than anyone in the world, allow him to be treated like this? Could treat him like this himself? It was an outrage. He felt a murderous rage rising inside his chest at the utter shame his brother had put on his shoulders.

He had to get out of this place, and soon. But first he had to negotiate a settlement of some kind. He was not leaving here
empty-handed; without him his brother wouldn’t have had a pot to piss in and they both knew that.

‘OK, then. Whatever you might think of me now, Pete, I’ve
always
had my fucking creds, mate. Now, I have been good enough to swallow my knob over Lenny. I know I overstepped a boundary. But do you know what? Fuck it all, mate. Stick it up your arse.’

Peter didn’t answer his brother. He just stood and waited for him to say his piece.

‘I want the debts, but I want them all. I want every last one of them, Pete, and you know as well as I do that I’ve earned them. If anyone needs money brought in,
I
get the call. You see to that. I also want the betting shops, North as well as East London. I want my fucking fair share. I also want a percentage of the other businesses, and I will promise you now I will not interfere in any way, shape or form provided I get my poke. You fucking think I’m a mug! I can’t believe you have the gall to treat me like this, your own brother, the only person you have ever really been able to trust, and you know that’s true, Pete. No matter what you think now, you will always be the fucking coon, the outsider, and I hate that you have made me say that to you.’