The Life of Lol (20 page)

Chapter 27.  Building

A few days later, and Josh was only halfway done.  It was only a small contract, but every little helped.  Josh had never been any good at school, and so, he did the only thing he was good at.  Figuring that he’d always done chores in the garden for dad, raking leaves and cutting bushes and the suchlike, he set up his own business.  Josh’s mother had died a few years later, and with his dad on the road a lot as a trucker, Josh managed to scrape enough together for a little apartment in Bowl towns district, in particular at the side of Kenny’s kebab emporium in the centre of the hamlet of Rathsburg, only a few moments from the Ventura highway that ran all the way into LA.  It was a tiny one bedroom place with an outside staircase that was covered only with a dirty Perspex screen.  Inside was the typical male pad.  Nothing fancy, but it was all he could afford.  He was a good gardener, but business around here was slow, and he just couldn’t afford to move to LA.  And so he just survived.  This particular lunch time, was leaning on the bonnet of his pick up taking a break, while at the same time filling in the insurance document for the small truck that was his sole vehicle.  Complaining to himself at how costly the premiums were for a small businessman, he was startled to hear a sudden commotion from near the Klondike’s Burger bar and grill a little further up the street near the intersection.  He looked up as he heard shouting, and he saw a blonde woman running his way as fast as her legs could carry her.  A holdall bounced around at the side of her.  In the distance came a siren.  The girl approached him as she suddenly heard the siren

“shit shit shit shit shit”, he heard her curse.

The sirens grew louder.  A few patrons had come to the door of the Klondike Burger bar and grill, but she was now too far from the door.  She approached him, and he could see the open holdall was stuffed with money and what looked like purses.

“Hi sugar pie”, she said smiling, “I’m just gonna hide out in the back of your truck for a while.  Just act like I ain’t here, ok baby?”

“What”, shouted Josh, “No.  Hell with that!  I’m not harbouring robbers!”

“That’s slander, baby”, she said with a mock look of hurt in her voice, “innocent until proven guilty, that’s the way it is in this great land of ours”

“The moneys in your fucking bag!” he said pointing, as she shimmied down among a tarpaulin.

“Ah”, she said crestfallen, “I guess it doesn’t look good, does it.  Would it help if I said I had six orphans to look after, and if you tip their momma into the cops, they’ll starve?”

“If you’re their momma, then they’re not orphans”, he returned, a smile on his face.

“You just think of everything don’t ya”, she said, “look, I have this wicked evil stepfather who makes me do all the chores all the time, and I’m just trying to earn enough to get away from him”

“Earn?” he said, “how is robbing a restaurant earning?”

“It’s not exactly a robbery”, she explained, “more like a hold up.”

At that moment, the cops came running down the street towards Josh.

“I bet you haven’t earned a cent in your life”, he hissed.

“Fine”, she said, just don’t tell on me.  I’ll do whatever ya want.”

“Hmm”, he said, the cops coming closer, “work for me.  I have this job to finish in town with the gardens.  Ten dollars a day”

“That’s slave labour, baby”, she exclaimed.

“Enjoy jail”, he whispered, a twinkle in his eye.  Christ knew why, but he liked this girl.  Liked seeing her squirm.  She seemed like fun.  He thought of his last girlfriend Christina and her serious demeanour.  Always keeping up appearances and trying to better themselves.  This woman seemed like a whole different world.

“Fine” she hissed, “I’ll work for ya, finish this damn job, but if it kills me, then you get to pay for my funeral.  And I want horses and a glass carriage and…”

“Shaddap”, he hissed.

“Hiding under the tarp, she began to think of a witty rejoinder, but stopped in her track as she heard the cops voice,

“Haven’t seen anyone like that sir, sorry”, Josh’s voice said.

After a few moments, he pulled the tarp back and she smiled at him, sticking out her tongue playfully,

“Nicely done, baby”, she said sweetly, “I guess I owe ya”

“Yeah”, he said, “two days labour”.

She grimaced,

“I’m not really built for that sort of thing”, she said miserably, “whatcha got here?”

She grabbed his insurance document,

“Hey leave that”, he said, I have to fill that in, tell them how much I can’t afford to pay them.”

She grabbed his pen, and began to fill the form in,

“Hey”, he shouted again, “what did I just say?”

“You said ‘please just let me be a pussy and do whatever the government says I should you’.  Well, I owe ya, and so I’m gonna show you something real smart”

She showed him what she’d filled in on the form.

“Failure to fill these forms out properly is a felony”, he exclaimed.

“yeah baby, I know”, she said, “I know all about felonies.  Here’s the thing, the guy who works at the DMV hates his boss, cos his boss is screwing this twenty year old girl and he’s like ‘why the fuck doesn’t my luck run like that?’.  Anyway, he thinks ‘screw this, I won’t do my job properly, fuck him.  I’ll just put all these forms through and not look at any of them’.

“I’m not committing a felony” Josh stated.

“Well here’s the thing baby”, she said.  I owed you.  And so I just showed you a way to save yourself five hundred dollars.  Now seeing as I’m a nice generous sort of girl, I’m only asking half the money back in return.  You hand this in today, say around four pm when old Charlie at the DMV is ready to be going home and you’ll be as high and dry as a sperm whale in the arizona noon day sun.  I’ll see ya tomorrow for my share.”

“I’m not doing this”, Josh said again.

“Well then that’s a problem, cos I guess now you owe me two hundred and fifty bucks.  I’ll see ya tomorrow anyway”

And with that, the girl slung her holdall over her shoulder and walked off down the street,

“You don’t know where I live”, he yelled at her disappearing form,

“Written on the van, baby”, she shouted back without turning her head.

Of course it was.  What a dumb fuck he was.  What the hell was he gonna do now.  Had the crazy bitch been joking?  He supposed not, after all she’d just held up a diner in a robbery.  The cops were still swarming all over the place, and he wondered just how she’d slipped away so completely.  What the hell was he gonna do now.  Commit the fraud like she’d written on the insurance form, or just ask dad for two hundred and fifty bucks in case she did show up.  If she didn’t, he could always pay dad back.

Josh awoke early the morning after.  He was exhausted, and the job here still had two days to run.  As he lay in bed, he heard the sound and smell of bacon frying in the kitchen.  What the hell?  Dad?

He shouted, thinking his father must’ve visited in the night,

“Is everything ok”, he said opening the door…

“Sure baby”, Taylor said, winking at him through the open door, “breakfasts done.”

“What the fuck?” he said aghast.  She stood barefoot in his kitchen, wearing only her t-shirt and panties, her jeans slung over a kitchen chair and her sneakers and socks taken off and left by the door.

“Come on sugar”, she said, setting down his breakfast, “gotta go to work on a full stomach.”

Josh sat down, wondering if he’d wandered into a parallel world,

“What the fuck are you…?” he began.

She looked down at herself…

“Yeah”, she began, “I know.  Sorry.  Didn’t know if you were house-proud or what, so I guessed I’d better take the sneakers off.  And then I got caught up in the whole little woman barefoot in the kitchen thing, so I took the socks off too.  And well, it’s just so damned hot today, when I got up I was like: ‘Taylor… Jeans or shorts, what’ll it be, honey?’  I figured I didn’t want you to think I was some kind of whore wearing little Dixie shorts, so I went for jeans.  But by the time I’d walked down here, it was just so hot and…”

“I don’t mean to ask why the hell you’ve taken your clothes off”, he began, “but what the hell are you doing here in the first place.”

Taylor sighed,

“Well baby”, she said sitting with her own breakfast, “I figured you were right yesterday.  I felt kind of ashamed of myself after I left, I’d pretty much threatened you.  And after y’all helped me and were so nice.  So I’m here to do the gardening work with ya.  For ten dollars an hour, like we agreed.”

Josh smiled.  He liked this girl.  She was fun, and had a bit of a conscience amidst all the crazy.

“How about you help me with the gardening”, he said throwing her across an envelope, “and I share the money from the insurance with you.  Two hundred and fifty, right?”

“You did it”, she squealed, “see?  We’ll make a bandit out of you yet!!”

“I think there’s enough bandits sat at this at this table without me joining in”, he said smiling, tucking into his cooked breakfast.”

She stuck out her tongue again, and they ate.   

Life was beginning to fill up again for Lol, after the empty days of nothingness that she’d endured in prison.  Sometimes, it all got a little much, and some days she just chilled with mom on the veranda of the trailer, and the two of them sat, watched the world go by and slugged Bourbon, telling each other tales of the past.  Lol increasingly felt like she had connections now, she only went into LA when Billy needed someone’s help, the rest of the time she spent here in Bowl Towns.  The call of the grift was fading.  She’d spent a bit of time with Josh, especially the two days nearly killing herself helping him out with his gardening.  She felt comfortable around him, not trapped and threatened like with Jack Mason.  But she’d laid it on the line for him,

“I build these little empires”, she’d explained, “then I move the bulldozers right in and tear it down again,”

“Cos it’s not what you’re looking for in your life”, Josh had thought, “until you find it, you’ll keep on doing it.”

Lol thought now that maybe this was what she had been looking for.  Sure, it was hardly the fucking Ritz, these people were what the rest of the country called trailer trash, those who lived in the underbelly of decent folks everywhere.  But these people were her blood.  She hadn’t said that to Josh,

“No guarantees”, she’d warned him, “no guarantees I wont do something really dumb, steal all your money and just hi tail it outta here”

Josh had smiled and hugged her,

“Steal all my money”, he said, raising an eyebrow, “How the heck can you steal what I don’t have?”

“Just warnin ya”, she replied looking down.

“It’s ok”, he replied, “I don’t normally forgive women who cheat like that.  But in your case, I’ll make the exception.  I feel connected with you.  Not like the whole ‘I love you’ mush, cos I don’t love you, you’re impossible to love easily.  Maybe that’ll change, I dunno.  But I feel connected with you.  I want you around in my life.  And so whatever shit you pull, I’ll always be here for you.  Always.”

  She didn’t know what to say,

“I don’t love you either” she said ruefully.

“Course ya don’t”, he replied, “Not while you have a reflection in the mirror”

She realised that he’d sized her up instantly, that she would get antsy if he tried to trap her, the whole love and chocolates thing.  So they ended up having a relationship that wasn’t a relationship.  They’d have dates but not even touch one another, go for days without so much as a phone call, it was like that.  And yet, if she was doing something with Billy that needed to remain under the radar, he would worry about her.  That was on reason he didn’t love her yet.  While he was sat at home worrying, he doubted she was giving him a second thought.

Chapter 28.  Chinese prison blues

This particular night, Billy had asked for her help.  This was something Winston, still stuck in plaster, couldn’t help with…family only.  Billy’s business, the import and export of Cocaine from over the border where he had connections from his Navy days was being threatened by two young Chinese entrepreneurs from New Chinatown.  And so one night, they hopped into Billy’s buggy and made their way down the Ventura where Taylor had walked that day and into the city.  Tay at one time would have loved LA, with its bright lights and country rubes ready to be parted from their cash.  But now it seemed too much for her, too jaded, they were like animals fighting for the same piece of carcass.  Groucho had once told her that the rich man must fight for money all the time, because he fears being poor again.  The poor man doesn’t have this fear, cos he’s already poor.  Tay realised this was what Groucho meant.  Her pursuit of money and love of grifting would only continue, it was as Groucho had said, a self-serving pastime.  Now she was poor and firmly in the gutter, life was fun and she could concentrate on the other things in her life.  Like now, with Billy travelling at break neck speed down the Ventura highway into LA.

I just…sometimes” he was saying, “I’d just talk to that empty seat like you were here.”

“Huh”, Tay said absent mindedly.  She was watching the lights from the city as they got closer.

“I wonder where she went”, asked Billy, taking his eyes off the road and studying her

“Fucks sake watch the road, clown”, she shouted as they narrowly missed rear ending a semi-truck

“Sorry””, he said his eyes filling with tears, “It’s just I’m a mass of emotion.  I’m on the edge”

He stared at her again, and showed her his shaking hand.  He had a snake tattoo over the back of his hand, and he shook the hand in her face.

“No one knows what I’ve felt”, he shouted, the crazy beginning to come in his eyes, “talking for thirty years to a phantom sister that might not even have existed.  And then bam, here she is.”

“Bam, here I am”, she murmured, “like a fucking genie”

“I feel a mass of emotion.  I mean, I’m a pretty bad guy.  Sure, I look after my mom, what self-respecting modern guy doesn’t, but I’ve done things I’m not proud of.  I’ve killed people, the thing with those nuns…  God, I bet those bitches are scared for life.  I mean, I never thought I’d be in line for a favour from …him”

Billy whispered the word ‘him’.

“Who?” Tay asked, whispered back.

“Ya know”, said Billy, “Him!  He who must be obeyed”

“Who”, asked Tay, puzzled, “The president?”

“No you clutz.  God.  The big man upstairs.  He saw that I needed a real sister and not the one that was a just a cheese wheel on my car seat.  A flesh and blood sister that doesn’t just say the words from my head.”

“Like I said years ago, honey”, she laughed, “I didn’t fall from heaven baby, they gave me a spade and I dug my way up from hell”

“You got that line off the internet”, he said accusingly pointing a finger.

“So sue me”, she shot back, a twinkle in her eye. “y’all can have a share of the nothing that I got.”

Billy sniffed,

“See “, he said tearing up, “it’s this now.  It’s like this.  This whole fucking conversation.  I’m like filling up here.  Jesus.  It’s like you’re real and God has sent you to me.  I feel so blessed.  You’re fucking real goddamit!”

He was full on crying now, and Tay hoped that the car, doing around ninety wouldn’t end up in a ditch.

“You think that’s funny, prick?”, he yelled at a car they shot past, “you think it’s funny because this big hard bastard is crying because he got his mom and his sister and that’s all he wants, just to have a fucking family that he loves.  There’s no love in this world any more.  Who the fuck decreed that loving your family wasn’t cool, or Hollywood?”

“Just keep your fucking hands on the wheel”, she yelled, “or you’ll be loving me in a cemetery”

  “I’m sorry”, he said, wiping his eyes, “I’m a modern guy.  I’m in touch with my feminine side.  I know it isn’t cool, but it’s who I am.  I refuse to be pigeonholed by society”

Tay was quiet.  Billy amused her, what with his ranting, he reminded her of Groucho.  It didn’t normally require much prompting from her to set him off, like now she just sat back and listened to the fun.

The highway ended up in LA, and Billy made his way in the car towards New Chinatown.

“How we working here?” she asked

We’re going to Mr Lau’s eatery in New Chinatown”, said Billy.

“Mmm” replied Tay, “I love Chinese food”

“The place was good when old Maurice Lau ran the business.  Good old fashioned service, family values.  Used to take mom there.  Now he’s retired and his sons Cheng and Ning have taken over.  Service is all fucked up, and they have a side business in supplying coke to my customers.   Fuckers.”

“They’re encroaching on your business?” asked Tay.

“Indeed they are”, he replied nodding, “that’s our fine country for ya, free commerce, the American fucking dream.”

“SO what we gonna do?” she asked.

“We’re gonna go point our guns at them and tell them to stop or we’ll shoot them”, replied Billy flatly.

“Sounds like a plan”, she replied.

The plan went wrong.  Storming through the back entry, Billy had hit a big Chinese guy in the head with his pistol butt as soon as he got inside the kitchen.  But Cheng was waiting for them, and held a shotgun,

“Hands in the air, trailer trash” he said at the pair.

Billy tutted,

“Trailer trash?” he hissed, “all the fucking westerns your dad made you sit through and that’s the best you can do, dickhead?  Like trying to take my business away from me, not enough fucking imagination to make your own, you try to muscle someone else.  Well fuck this.”

Cheng waved the gun,

“hands in the air or I’ll blow your head off” he said again,

Billy ignored him,

“If I did that I’d be less of a man”, he said, “If I don’t stand up to you, I might as well do this…”

He went face to face with Cheng, dropped his trousers and underpants, then turned and bent over,

“here”, he said, “screw me up the ass.  Thats what I’m saying if I don’t stand up to you.”

He stood and turned to faced Cheng,

“But I’m not gonna do that”, he carried on, “I’m gonna come here, convince you to leave my fucking business alone and if you don’t, I’m gonna get my sister here to smear your Chinese brains all over your fucking wall, and then…”

He pulled up his pants again,

“and then”, he continued, “I’m gonna have them serve bits of you in this fucking restaurant.  I’m gonna eat your fucking balls myself”

“Your sister”, replied Cheng still holding the shotgun. 

Tay had not lowered her Desert Eagle.  Classic standoff, apart from Billy dropping his pants, she thought.

Billy nodded,

“And she’s the craziest fuck I’ve ever met”, he said proudly.

“How about I shoot you in the spine, and then make you watch while my brother and me rape your sister.  Or better still, we’ll watch while I make you rape her.”

Bill leapt at the man with the shotgun, and in the struggle it went off.  Billy struggled Cheng to the ground.  At that moment the door opened and younger brother Ning came in, holding an MP5 sub machine gun flanked by a heavy guy with an evil looking knife,

“Brother”, gasped Cheng”, I need…

But no one ever knew what Cheng needed, because at that moment, Tay whirled with the desert eagle and let off five shots at the men.  She shot the man with the knife in the head instantly, and his face exploded, covering the kitchen area with all kinds of blood and brain matter.  Ning Lau ducked, and Tay fired another volley of shots at him.  he went down just near where Billy had just finished Cheng Lau.

“Easy there Annie Oakley”, laughed Billy waving to her, “well I guess we fucked the plan”

“Hmmm”, Tay said surveying the carnage, “unless the plan was to come to LA, shoot up a bunch of Chinese guys and then go home again, then yeah, I guess we did.”

They decided to take separate cars back to Bowl Towns.  The cops would no doubt be on a lookout for a pair of gunmen, although if Tay was honest, it looked as though the PD here was stretched at best.  She selected a small Maroon Nissan.  Unlocking it was easy, and she suddenly had a flashback of her life with Allen, stealing cars from outside restaurants.  Tay never in her life had any remorse about shooting, and if she was honest, as she drove through the night city lights, she didn’t now.  Bad guys who lived in their world usually ended the same way.  But she thought of Josh and that breakfast they’d shared, and for the first time, she thought of him sat at home watching a movie on that little laptop of his, worrying himself silly in case one night she didn’t come home.  Suddenly feeling like the worst kind of person, she floored the car to get home faster.

Which was probably what attracted the cop at the side of the road.

Tay was done for, she knew that, and for a fleeting moment, wondered whether to shoot her way out with the desert Eagle.  But the sudden thought of going on the run after killing a bunch of cops was too much even for someone of her disposition, and when the cop asked her to get out of the car and put her hands on the trunk, she did so.  That familiar feeling of the cold steel and the clicking sounds as the cuffs went on.  Arrested, he said.  Double murder of two Chinese men at the Lau restaurant. 

Four months later, Tay  was still trying to figure out her life and her luck.  So there I am, she though, just had a fucking epiphany and wanted to get home, to my family, to the place I belong, when blam, I’m back here.  The case hadn’t needed to drag on, it had been open and shut, the gun was found on her possession, this time there was no doubt, and no other option for the judge than to sentence her to anything other than life imprisonment.  But she reflected on the bright side.  The last two times in prison she had been truly alone.  But this time, she was not.  Not only did she have a mother and a brother to come visit her, weeping as they saw her in her orange jumpsuit in the little cubicle, the only place where they would ever see her for the rest of her life.

And that brings me nicely back to the introduction of my story.  I sat and thought of Josh, and the life I’d missed, the life I’d been looking for when I kept tearing down the walls of the empires I’d built over the years.  At that time, I’d no idea that I’d be sitting in that same cell thirty years later and writing about my life.  OK admit it, you were thinking that I’ve been in here ever since that day, weren’t ya?  Well, you know I’m a grifter, born and bred, right?  Did ya forget?  I stayed in jail for three months in total, then I got out.