The Light of Oriah : Burning Jungle - Part One (4 page)

“
No!”
I pushed my fingers to my eyes, shaking my head. I couldn't
let myself be drawn into that kind of thinking. It didn't matter
what I had thought I had felt when I looked into his eyes. It was
all a lie – none of it was real.

“
Aaaarrrgh!!” I screamed, the fury building
up like fire within me again. I was now not only angry with him,
but with myself just as equally. Why was I allowing myself to waste
my time and energy letting him invade my mind like this? Why was he
having such an effect on me, it didn’t make any sense? Perhaps
because he was the only other person that I had ever met who was
the same as me. All this time I had thought that I was the only one
of my kind, a rare breed; part mortal, part Vampire. Sebastian had
shattered that belief in one swoop today, revealing the truth that
I had always secretly hoped for; that there were more like me in
this world, backing up his words with his very presence, for there
was no doubt in my mind that he
was
the same as me.

I walked faster, looping back towards the town now, my
thoughts turning to my new found options. Now that I knew there
were others out there, a whole new world of possibility had been
opened up to me. I wondered how I could find them.
There must be a way of tracking them down. I
scoured my mind desperately, unable to come up with any practical
ideas. Sebastian's face popped into my thoughts again, and I was
dragged back into my searing fury.

“
I will not think about him, I will NOT
think about him,” I repeated under my breath until it became a hum,
a mantra to keep me sane.

I arrived back at Ivy's cottage and stood on the porch,
trying to get myself under control before heading inside. I hated
feeling like this, it made me vulnerable, and I worried that these
new and intense emotions that had been piled on top of me recently
would affect my self control around the humans. Would the stress
make me more volatile? I had no experience of dealing with emotions
this potent in my previous peaceful existence.

I took several deep breaths, squeezing my hands in and out of
tight fists as I considered this, before coming to the conclusion
that despite my anger, I was still confident that I was fully in
control of my urges. Ivy was in no danger from me. I, on the other
hand, may be in some danger of my own, I realised, as I pushed open
the door to find my Aunt standing at the foot of the stairs,
glowering at me, her arms folded tightly across her bony
chest.

She stared at me, attempting to look menacing I guessed, but
faltering slightly when she saw my own expression. “Do. You.
Have.
Any
.
Idea. What. Time. It. Is?” she forced the words out one syllable
after another, breathing in deeply, her nostrils flaring as she
waited for my response.

“
I'm sorry Aunt Ivy, I must have lost track
of the time... I didn't think you'd wait up for me,” I said calmly,
attempting to pacify her. I didn’t have the energy for an argument
right now.

“
It's two in the bloody morning!!” she
exploded. “Where on earth does a fifteen year old girl with no
friends in the area go until two AM?” she questioned, jabbing a
shaking white finger towards me.

“
I went for a walk,” I answered, puzzled by
her unnecessary anger. I had always liked to walk at night, it was
usually so peaceful. “It's perfectly safe, you don’t need to worry
about me, I can take care of myself,” I said, in what I thought was
a reassuring tone.

“
I don’t need to worry?” she screeched.
“Oriah, of course I do, it's not safe for you to go walking around
at night, anything could have happened to you, you could have...”
she broke off. Her anger had propelled her forward until she was
standing before me, cornering me between the wall and the banister.
Instinctively, she stepped back, opening up the space and adopting
a less threatening stance. I wondered if it was her fear of
frightening me, or in fact, what she had seen in the eyes of an
imprisoned young M
é
lange that had driven her to back
off.

“
And I spent so long cooking your dinner,”
she said wistfully, gesturing sadly towards the kitchen, the smell
of burning pasta lingering in the air. She seemed calmer now,
resigned after her chance to vent her
frustrations.

“
I'm sorry, it won't happen again,” I
promised, realising that I would have to be a bit more considerate
of her human sensitivities from now on. “So, what did you cook?” I
asked with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“
Oh it's ruined now, and stone cold!” she
complained, shaking her head forlornly.

“
Well let's see, you never know – it might
be salvageable,” I offered, hoping to restore the peace, despite
the fact that the thought of food right now wasn't very appealing
to me. I still had a ball of tension creating havoc in my stomach.
She looked at me for a long moment, before sighing and stomping off
into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later, my stomach heavy with cold lasagne, I
found myself lying in the hard single guest bed unable to sleep, as
I stared up at the thick white artex of my bedroom ceiling. The
anger had subsided slightly, only to be replaced with an
overwhelming wave of loss. For the first since my parents had been
killed, I had let myself hope, let myself feel something other than
the all consuming pain which had held me so firmly under its wing.
Sebastian – God I hated thinking his name!
–
had pulled me out of the darkness
and somehow made me feel whole again for a short time. I couldn't
understand why I had experienced such intense feelings for him so
suddenly. Picturing that moment when I first saw him, it had been
as if the earth had stopped right then, just for a second. When I
looked at him I felt as if I knew him, like he was always mine but
I just hadn’t known it. I buried my face in my pillow, pulling my
knees in tight to my chest.

I thought now about the words he had spoken so clearly, I had
been unable to focus on them at the time, so shocked that he would
speak so freely about my mother, her death. And now the despair I
had felt before, was doubled, tripled even, the pain of losing this
boy that I never really had a claim to anyway, was affecting me
much more than I wanted to admit. It was ridiculous, I didn’t know
him, he didn’t know me. I didn’t need this pain. I pushed my face
deeper into the pillow, determined to clear my mind of these
tortuous thoughts. Slowing my breathing I repeated over and over in
my mind
forget him, forget him, forget
him,
until eventually my thoughts
stilled and everything went black.

***

I woke early, the sun not yet fully above the horizon, unable
to sleep any longer, not that I needed it really, three or four
hours was usually more than enough to keep me going. Hearing the
sound of Ivy snoring gently down the hall, I smiled, presuming that
she would be out for a while longer after her late night. I felt
more positive today. In learning about the existence of the other
M
é
langes, I had
been given the push I had been waiting for.

“
Children of Venus,” I reminded myself
under my breath, I would have to start getting used to saying that,
the last thing I wanted was to accidentally insult someone by using
the wrong term. Now I just needed to figure out where to begin my
search. I couldn’t bring myself to believe
he
–
I wouldn't think his name again
–
had been lying about
them too, I needed this shred of hope to grasp onto too much to be
able to let it go. I dressed quickly before heading quietly
downstairs.

I looked apprehensively at the dusty computer standing in the
corner of the living room, debating whether to turn it on. Back in
the Congo my parents had miraculously secured an internet
connection out there in the middle of nowhere. To be honest, I was
always much more interested in reading real books, rather than
staring at a screen, it always felt so sterile, so ironically
disconnected, whereas I could lose myself in a book to the extent
that it would become a part of me. It felt healthier, in my mind.
Despite my preferences, I had still learned the ins and outs of
computer maintenance and IT, and had from time to time browsed the
internet to research certain subjects.

Out of sight of my parents watchful eyes, I had once used my
time online to search for others of my kind. Curiosity was what had
sparked my interest, I supposed, although now I wondered if there
had been more to it than that. My search had been quick, yet
thorough and the results conclusive. I had found nothing. Not a
single lead or believable account of the existence of others of my
kind. I had felt guilty after that, vowing to take my mothers word
for the truth in the futur
e. She wouldn't
lie to me, my search had proved that much. Remembering that day
now, I batted away the feeling of doubt that arose within me,
questioning if my mother had known the truth, or if she had in fact
intentionally lied to me.

Deciding to ignore the computer, I grabbed my
coat, making up my mind to make a visit to the town's tiny library,
since I had never made it that far after the unexpected sequence of
events that had occurred the previous day. Pleased to have a plan
and something to focus on, I rushed out the door, leaving Ivy a
quick note so that she wouldn't worry unnecessarily again. The air
was cool and crisp, the smell of wood-smoke rising up from the
neighbours chimney. It was one of my favourite smells, and I walked
slowly, savouring it and the good memories it conjured
up.

As I tilted my face up to taste the air, I caught something
else, an unmistakable scent, one that made my heart thud and my
mouth water with its fresh, clean aroma, like apples, water, yet
not quite the same somehow. It was so familiar, yet I just couldn't
pinpoint it. The scent was Sebastian's without a shadow of a doubt.
I would have known it anywhere. Discreetly, I scanned the area
around me, sensing how close he was, yet not catching a glimpse of
him. I could only assume he was following me, and my mood took a
swift dive, the anger, still so close to the surface, began to
bubble like hot lava once again. I was not in the mood for his
games.

I would not give him the satisfaction of drawing me in again,
I would not even acknowledge his presence, though he must have
known I could feel him there. I sped up, careful not to go too fast
out here in the open, not wanting to frighten the humans. I'd
decided to walk today rather than have to put up with the awfulness
of the bus journey again, and I made it there in under ten minutes,
with my eyes focused straight ahead, though my unhindered
peripheral vision enabled me to keep tabs on my surroundings. I
scalded myself for making the journey so quickly – I must try to be
more careful or people will notice! I never caught so much as a
glimpse of him, but I could tell that he was keeping pace about
thirty feet behind me, off to the left. I wondered why he didn’t
show himself, force me to talk to him, but then maybe this was all
part of his sick game. Would he follow me into the library? Surely
he wouldn’t start a fight in there, with so many
witnesses?

I was annoying myself with all this useless speculation, I
would deal with him if and when I had to, I decided. For now, I was
going to get back to what I had set out to do. The door opened
automatically for me and I walked inside the warm building. I
wasn’t exactly sure of what I was looking for but I decided to
start with the stack of newspapers on the central table. Perhaps I
could decipher something from some of the articles that would lead
me in the right direction. I sat down, smiling tightly at an old
man who was reading nearby. He looked stunned and frightened at my
attempt at politeness, briskly standing up and moving away to sit
over the other side of the room. I realised I had obviously failed
to hide my emotions as well as I had hoped. I would have to work on
my happy face, it wouldn't do to go around scaring
people.

I poured through the newspapers, my eyes flickering up to the
door every few minutes, half expecting him to walk in after me.
After I had read the pile of papers, I moved on to the books –
thick volumes, history, world customs, legends. “There must be
something, some indication of their existence,” I mumbled as I
began to feel the hope slipping away. I read every book that could
possibly have held a clue, and still there was nothing. I sat
still, a pile of books surrounding me, almost shielding me from
sight, my head in my hands, my last shred of hope dissolved. I
began to notice the stares coming my way from the library
assistants and the other library users. Quick glances, questions
filling their eyes, the way humans always seemed to look at me. Not
feeling up to being polite or sociable, I began to tidy up, putting
the books back where they belonged, not meeting any of the watchful
eyes that were burning holes in my back. I stood up straight and
with my head held high, I walked quickly out of the door and into
the pouring rain outside. The sky was a rumbling purple bruise and
the streets were already scattered with muddy puddles.

Not wanting to go back to the cottage, I walked in the
opposite direction, over the back of the town towards the tree
lined fields. I had been walking a few minutes when a distinct
scent washed over me again. No more than twenty feet away this
time. I don't care anymore, let him waste his time, I
thought
.
I
continued to walk, and then, on reaching the open grassland, broke
into a run, hoping there were no humans around to see me as I
became a blur against the trees. The rain hammered down in fat,
heavy drops, soaking me completely. I skidded to a halt next to a
tall conifer and lowered myself onto the ground beneath its wide
sheltering branches, sitting cross legged in the dirt. I
desperately needed to clear my mind, I needed something to focus
on, to get myself centred again.