the Light Of Western Stars (1992) (20 page)

It was for this reason that Nels, when Madeline asked him to accompany her to Chiricahua, replied, reluctantly, that he would rather follow on his horse
.
However, she prevailed over his hesitancy, and with Florence also in the car they set out
.
For miles and miles the valley road was smooth, hard-packed, and slightly downhill
.
And when speeding was perfectly safe, Madeline was not averse to it
.
The grassy plain sailed backward in gray sheets, and the little dot in the valley grew larger and larger
.
From time to time Link glanced round at unhappy Nels, whose eyes were wild and whose hands clutched his seat
.
While the car was crossing the sandy and rocky places, going slowly, Nels appeared to breathe easier
.
And when it stopped in the wide, dusty street of Chiricahua Nels gladly tumbled out
.

"Nels, we shall wait here in the car while you find Stewart," said Madeline
.

"Miss Hammond, I reckon Gene'll run when he sees us, if he's able to run," replied Nels
.
"Wal, I'll go find him an' make up my mind then what we'd better do
.
"

Nels crossed the railroad track and disappeared behind the low, flat houses
.
After a little time he reappeared and hurried up to the car
.
Madeline felt his gray gaze searching her face
.

"Miss Hammond, I found him," said Nels
.
"He was sleepin'
.
I woke him
.
He's sober an' not bad hurt; but I don't believe you ought to see him
.
Mebbe Florence -"

"Nels, I want to see him myself
.
Why not?What did he say when you told him I was here?"

"Shore I didn't tell him that
.
I jest says, 'Hullo, Gene!' an' he says, 'My Gawd!Nels! mebbe I ain't glad to see a human bein'
.
'He asked me who was with me, an' I told him Link an' some friends
.
I said I'd fetch them in
.
He hollered at thet
.
But I went, anyway
.
Now, if you really will see him, Miss Hammond, it's a good chance
.
But shore it's a touchy matter, an' you'll be some sick at sight of him
.
He's layin' in a Greaser hole over here
.
Likely the Greasers hev been kind to him
.
But they're shore a poor lot
.
"

Madeline did not hesitate a moment
.

"Thank you, Nels
.
Take me at once
.
Come, Florence
.
"

They left the car, now surrounded by gaping-eyed Mexican children, and crossed the dusty space to a narrow lane between red adobe walls
.
Passing by several houses, Nels stopped at the door of what appeared to be an alleyway leading back
.
I was filthy
.

"He's in there, around thet first corner
.
It's a patio, open an' sunny
.
An', Miss Hammond, if you don't mind, I'll wait here for you
.
I reckon Gene wouldn't like any fellers around when he sees you girls
.
"

It was that which made Madeline hesitate then and go forward slowly
.
She had given no thought at all to what Stewart might feel when suddenly surprised by her presence
.

"Florence, you wait also," said Madeline, at the doorway, and turned in alone
.

And she had stepped into a broken-down patio littered with alfalfa straw and debris, all clear in the sunlight
.
Upon a bench, back toward her, sat a man looking out through the rents in the broken wall
.
He had not heard her
.
The place was not quite so filthy and stifling as the passages Madeline had come through to get there
.
Then she saw that it had been used as a corral
.
A rat ran boldly across the dirt floor
.
The air swarmed with flies, which the man brushed at with weary hand
.
Madeline did not recognize Stewart
.
The side of his face exposed to her gaze was black, bruised, bearded
.
His clothes were ragged and soiled
.
There were bits of alfalfa in his hair
.
His shoulders sagged
.
He made a wretched and hopeless figure sitting there
.
Madeline divined something of why Nels shrank from being present
.

"Mr
.
Stewart
.
It is I, Miss Hammond, come to see you," she said
.

He grew suddenly perfectly motionless, as if he had been changed to stone
.
She repeated her greeting
.

His body jerked
.
He moved violently as if instinctively to turn and face this intruder; but a more violent movement checked him
.

Madeline waited
.
How singular that this ruined cowboy had pride which kept him from showing his face!And was it not shame more than pride?

"Mr
.
Stewart, I have come to talk with you, if you will let me
.
"

"Go away," he muttered
.

"Mr
.
Stewart!" she began, with involuntary hauteur
.
But instantly she corrected herself, became deliberate and cool, for she saw that she might fail to be even heard by this man
.
"I have come to help you
.
Will you let me?"

"For God's sake!You-you-" he choked over the words
.
"Go away!"

"Stewart, perhaps it was for God's sake that I came," said Madeline, gently
.
"Surely it was for yours-and your sister's -" Madeline bit her tongue, for she had not meant to betray her knowledge of Letty
.

He groaned, and, staggering up to the broken wall, he leaned there with his face hidden
.
Madeline reflected that perhaps the slip of speech had been well
.

"Stewart, please let me say what I have to say?"

He was silent
.
And she gathered courage and inspiration
.

"Stillwell is deeply hurt, deeply grieved that he could not turn you back from this-this fatal course
.
My brother is also
.
They wanted to help you
.
And so do I
.
I have come, thinking somehow I might succeed where they have failed
.
Nels brought your sister's letter
.
I-I read it
.
I was only the more determined to try to help you, and indirectly help your mother and Letty
.
Stewart, we want you to come to the ranch
.
Stillwell needs you for his foreman
.
The position is open to you, and you can name your salary
.
Both Al and Stillwell are worried about Don Carlos, the vaqueros, and the raids down along the border
.
My cowboys are without a capable leader
.
Will you come?"

"No," he answered
.

"But Stillwell wants you so badly
.
"

"No
.
"

"Stewart, I want you to come
.
"

"No
.
"

His replies had been hoarse, loud, furious
.
They disconcerted Madeline, and she paused, trying to think of a way to proceed
.
Stewart staggered away from the wall, and, falling upon the bench, he hid his face in his hands
.
All his motions, like his speech, had been violent
.

"Will you please go away?" he asked
.

"Stewart, certainly I cannot remain here longer if you insist upon my going
.
But why not listen to me when I want so much to help you?Why?"

"I'm a damned blackguard," he burst out
.
"But I was a gentleman once, and I'm not so low that I can stand for you seeing me here
.
"

"When I made up my mind to help you I made it up to see you wherever you were
.
Stewart, come away, come back with us to the ranch
.
You are in a bad condition now
.
Everything looks black to you
.
But that will pass
.
When you are among friends again you will get well
.
You will he your old self
.
The very fact that you were once a gentleman, that you come of good family, makes you owe so much more to yourself
.
Why, Stewart, think how young you are!It is a shame to waste your life
.
Come back with me
.
"

"Miss Hammond, this was my last plunge," he replied, despondently
.
"It's too late
.
"

"Oh no, it is not so bad as that
.
"

"It's too late
.
"

"At least make an effort, Stewart
.
Try!"

"No
.
There's no use
.
I'm done for
.
Please leave me-thank you for -"

He had been savage, then sullen, and now he was grim
.
Madeline all but lost power to resist his strange, deadly, cold finality
.
No doubt he knew he was doomed
.
Yet something halted her-held her even as she took a backward step
.
And she became conscious of a subtle change in her own feeling
.
She had come into that squalid hole, Madeline Hammond, earnest enough, kind enough in her own intentions; but she had been almost imperious-a woman habitually, proudly used to being obeyed
.
She divined that all the pride, blue blood, wealth, culture, distinction, all the impersonal condescending persuasion, all the fatuous philanthropy on earth would not avail to turn this man a single hair's-breadth from his downward career to destruction
.
Her coming had terribly augmented his bitter hate of himself
.
She was going to fail to help him
.
She experienced a sensation of impotence that amounted almost to distress
.
The situation assumed a tragic keenness
.
She had set forth to reverse the tide of a wild cowboy's fortunes; she faced the swift wasting of his life, the damnation of his soul
.
The subtle consciousness of change in her was the birth of that faith she had revered in Stillwell
.
And all at once she became merely a woman, brave and sweet and indomitable
.

"Stewart, look at me," she said
.

He shuddered
.
She advanced and laid a hand on his bent shoulder
.
Under the light touch he appeared to sink
.

"Look at me," she repeated
.

But he could not lift his head
.
He was abject, crushed
.
He dared not show his swollen, blackened face
.
His fierce, cramped posture revealed more than his features might have shown; it betrayed the torturing shame of a man of pride and passion, a man who had been confronted in his degradation by the woman he had dared to enshrine in his heart
.
It betrayed his love
.

"Listen, then," went on Madeline, and her voice was unsteady
.
"Listen to me, Stewart
.
The greatest men are those who have fallen deepest into the mire, sinned most, suffered most, and then have fought their evil natures and conquered
.
I think you can shake off this desperate mood and be a man
.
"