The Lightning-Struck Heart (47 page)

“I… have no idea,” the dragon said.

They turned to look at me. So I said, “Heeeeyyy, buddy. You look alive. That’s just super,” all the while thinking guiltily of how Ryan’s breath felt upon my cheek. I was an
awful
person and where the hell did I get off thinking about someone else’s man? And maybe, just
maybe
, Justin had turned over a new leaf while being held captive by the dragon. Maybe he’d found in himself his heart and was able to see that the world was a wonderful and mysterious place and there was no reason to go around being a gigantic dick all the time.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Did you break him? He sounds broken. Well, more than usual.”

Nope. Still a gigantic dick.

“I found him tied up to a pole not far from here.” The dragon puffed out its chest. “Apparently there’s a cult that made a
religion
because of me and they were sacrificing people to me because of it.”

“I wasn’t
tied
to the pole,” I said. “By the time you’d gotten there, I’d already freed myself.”

“Oh yeah,” the dragon. “That’s right. And then you tripped off the altar and landed facedown on the ground.”

Justin snorted.

I glared at both of them. “I’m not a fan of either of you.”

“Feeling is mutual,” they both said at the same time.

“Great,” I muttered. “Now there are two of them.”

“Why are you here, Sam?” Justin asked.

“Um. I told you. To rescue you? I thought that much was obvious.”

He laughed. “And this is your idea of a rescue? Seriously?”

“Hey! I was
fine
until the cult!” And the Darks and fire geckos and fairies and drag queens, but he didn’t need to know any of that.

“The cult,” the dragon whispered. “The cult that’s for
me
.”

Oh gods. He and Gary could never meet.

“I’m actually a little insulted,” Justin sniffed. “My father sent just
you
to rescue me? I thought at the very least I’d warrant the knights.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Well, that’s certainly not true, Sam,” Justin said. “I don’t know why you try and convince yourself otherwise.”

“Well,” I said, feeling slightly vindictive. “It isn’t just me. It’s Gary. And Tiggy. And Ryan.”

Justin’s eyes narrowed. “Really,” he said flatly. “You. And Gary. And Tiggy. And
Ryan
. That’s who my father sent.”

“It’s supposed to be some sort of test, I think,” I said. “To be honest, I’m not really clear. I think he said something about how it was romantic if Ryan rode up on a steed to slay the dragon and rescue the Prince, but then that turned racist because of Gary, so there
is
no steed and so I’m pretty sure the King’s idea of romance is slightly whack. He did try to marry me off to Captain Bad-Touch, after all. He had rapey eyes. Kind of like someone else I know.” I turned and looked at the dragon pointedly.

Of course it ignored me. “Slay the dragon?” it said. “How barbaric.”

“You tried to set us on fire!”

“I tried to set
you
on fire,” it said. “You’re a wizard. You deserve to be on fire.”

“Rude.”

“No,” it said. “Truth.”

“
And
if I hadn’t been a wizard, then Justin and I would have been flambé and you wouldn’t have been able to hoard him like you did.”

“With your whizbangs,” the dragon said. “Ice sparklies.”

“Exactly,” I said. “You’re welcome. The both of you.”

They rolled their eyes.

“Where is the rest of the really sad rescue party?” Justin asked.

“Oh shit,” I said. “They’re still with the cult. I think. They fed us some kind of coercion and truth spell mixed with corn and we couldn’t do shit about it.”

Justin took a stuttering step back. He cleared his throat. His eyes darted over my shoulder then back at me. “Truth spell?” he said.

Godsdammit.
“Uh. Yeah? Yes.”

He coughed. “And… what sort of truths were there?”

“Wizarding truths?” That sounded believable.

“Wizarding truths.”

“Yes. That’s why they tried to sacrifice me first. They thought the dragon would be impressed by me.”

“I’m not,” the dragon said. “I might need to smite my subjects because they got it way wrong. You’re pretty, but you stink of magic. And you threw up on me. That’s not how I want to start a sexual relationship.”

“You dropped me,” I reminded him. “Uh. Not that I’m trying to argue about getting into a sexual relationship with you. You’re not my type. I like my men more… not you.”

The dragon huffed. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Thankfully so.”

“Any other truths, then?”

Yes. A shitload of them. So many fucking truths that I couldn’t even be sure if it had been a dream or not. So I said, “No. That was pretty much it.”

“You never were a very good liar,” he said.

“I do okay,” I said.

“Tell me.”

“What?”

“What did he say?”

“Ryan?”

“Sam.”

“I’m not stalling.”

He took a step toward me. “You’re totally stalling.”

I said, “A little,” because how do you tell a prince that his Knight Commander of a fiancé has a magic kink and wants to do things to your butthole? It’s hard.

(Sex pun.)

“Did he tell you about us?” Justin asked, eyes narrowed.

And. Wait. What? “What
about
you?”

“Uh. Never mind.”

“Justin.”

“I think I might love you,” the dragon blurted out.

I prayed to the gods he wasn’t talking to me.

And he wasn’t. He was staring right at Justin.

“Heh,” I said. “Awesome.”

“What?” Justin said.

“Your face,” the dragon said. “I want to do things to it.”

“Heh,” I said. “More awesome.”

“Uh. I don’t even know your name,” Justin said, hedging.

The dragon pulled himself up to full height. His wings fluttered behind him. He looked proud. Regal. Terrifying.

I waited for it with bated breath. Because this was a big moment, maybe even historical. Dragons named themselves after they were born. After trial and experience. Their true names were supposed to be words of power that they rarely shared with others. The fact that the dragon was willing to share his true name with us was nothing short of a miracle. I reminded myself to write it down in my Grimoire, which I’d sorely been neglecting these past few weeks.

I knew, I just
knew
that he’d be named something majestic like Mountain Storm or Fire Eyes or HeartWing (granted, my track record for guessing the names of magical creatures was certainly not the best).

The dragon said, “I am from the Old Line; the blood that runs through me stretches back hundreds of thousands of years. I hail from the faraway jungles, in a land never before seen by man. I am fire and skin and wings. I am the dark dragon. I am the Beast from the East. I am…”

“
Ohmygods ohmygods ohmygods
,” I muttered half-hysterically.

“…Kevin,” the dragon finished triumphantly.

“
OHMYGODS OHMYGODS OHMY—
wait. What?”

“Kevin,” the dragon repeated.

“Your name is Kevin.”

“Yes,” Kevin said, chest still puffed out proudly, eyes gazing off into the distance as if imagining dragony things us mere mortals could never understand.

“Kev-in,” I said, trying to understand why it didn’t sound like Fire Eyes when I said it. “Huh.”

He glanced quickly at me before going back to being regal and staring at the horizon. “Kevin.”

“Well,” I said. “That’s… a name. That you picked. For yourself.”

“Yes,” Kevin said. “I spent ten years ruminating on it before I picked it.”

“I can see that,” I said slowly. “And Kevin is… the best you could come up with? Obviously,” I added quickly when Kevin stiffened. “It’s fitting. For you. And your being. All your dragon-ness.” I was making this so much worse.

“Isn’t it?” Kevin said, though I could hear the word of warning in his voice.

Justin rolled his eyes. “A dragon named Kevin is in love with me. I just… I don’t even. Gods.”

“A dragon named Kevin wants to fuck me,” I said without meaning to. And then I cringed.

“
What
?” Justin said, voice all low and dangerous.

“What what?” I asked.

“Baby,” Kevin cooed to Justin. “I don’t even. No, baby. Look at me. You’re the only man for me. Hey. Hey. Look at me. Look at me, Bright Eyes. Hey. Who’s my big strong Prince? Hmm? Hey. I don’t. Not anymore. That was so long ago. Before I even met you. I was a different dragon back then.”

“Um,” I said. “That was, like, weeks ago. And you also said I had lips made for sucking cock when you kidnapped me. And you just said you wanted a sexual relationship with me. Like five minutes ago.”

Kevin went down on his stomach and put his head near Justin, who stood with his arms crossed and his back to the dragon. “Hey. No. Listen. I didn’t mean it. Baby. Look at me. Hey. You’re the only one for me. I don’t care if he’s got cock-sucking lips.”

I scrunched up my face in disgust. “Um. Ew. And also? Offensive.”

Kevin bumped his nose into Justin. “Baby,” he purred. “It’s you. Even when we couldn’t understand each other, we spoke the language of love.”

“You had sex with Kevin?” I asked, my voice going high.

“What?” Justin said. “No. Gods, Sam. Do you ever think before you speak?”

“Yeah, Sam, gods,” Kevin said. “It’s not always about sex, even if you have those lips made for dick.”

“He’s very sexually aggressive,” I told Justin. “I don’t think you should sleep with him.”

“Stop cockblocking me!” the dragon hissed.

“He’s engaged,” I reminded Kevin. “To a knight.”

Kevin snorted, a lick of flame curling from his nose. “Easily remedied. I shall eat the knight and then he won’t be engaged.”

“You don’t eat people, though,” I said.

“You don’t?” Justin asked. He uncrossed his arms and turned back toward the dragon.

Kevin glared at me before turning back to Justin. “No,” he admitted. “Too boney. I try to stay healthy. I’m mostly a vegetarian. Every now and then, I’ll treat myself to a cow on my cheat day, but that’s about it.”

“You’re a vegetarian,” I said.

“Mostly,” he said.

“You’re mostly a vegetarian.”

“Yes.”

“You’re ruining dragons for me,” I said. “Everything about you is ruining dragons for me.”

“Oh?” Kevin said. “Is it because I’m your first?”

“Yes. My one and only and—”

He reached out with a claw and scraped it on the ground next to my feet. “How did it feel to have your dragon cherry popped?”

Justin coughed quite angrily. It was impressive.

Kevin quickly pulled his claws back and turned to Justin again. “No, baby,” he said. “It was just a joke. Just joking around. Sam and his cock lips mean nothing to me. You’re my one and only. You complete me. Without you, my six hearts are just forty-pound organs that beat dully and without cause. You’re so special.”

“Aww,” I couldn’t help but say.

“You’ll see,” Kevin said. “I’ll make sure you have everything—”

His nostrils flared as he jerked his head toward the great doors. A low, rumbling growl started somewhere in his middle and crawled its way up his throat and out his mouth.

“What is it now?” I sighed because it was always going to be
something
.

“Something approaches,” Kevin said. “Three heartbeats. Coming down the road, maybe ten minutes away.”

“It’s probably the cult,” I said. “Bringing you corn. Don’t eat it because you’ll end up telling someone embarrassing things that you’re not ready for, like how much you want to do them—”

Justin glared and took a step toward me.

“Do them no wrong,” I finished hastily. “Because doing wrong things is bad and no one should do them. Especially to others.”

“Stay in the keep,” Kevin snapped and clambered out the front doors. He nudged them shut behind him, leaving Justin and I in relative darkness.

“So,” I said. “This is awkward.”

Justin sighed. “Come on. We can watch what’s going on from up top.”

Unable to think of anything else to do, I followed him as he turned toward the stairs.

Cornerstone

T
HE
STAIRS
curved up around the interior edges of the keep. We passed by a landing or two that collapsed long ago, but other floors were still intact and cluttered with even more of Kevin’s hoard. Books and treasure, paintings and dishes. He’d amassed quite a bit for having been in Verania for less than three months. Or maybe he’d brought it from the east, where rumors of thick, haunted jungles run rampant.

The last floor before the roof of the keep was different.

It was clean and sparse, and there was a large bed in the corner with pillows and blankets knocked askew. A dresser stood near the doorway with a bookshelf on the opposite wall. An open window near the back of the room let in light and a sweet spring breeze. This room was comforting. Almost like a home.

“This is where you’ve stayed, isn’t it,” I said.

Justin hesitated, then shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

“It doesn’t look like it, no.”

“He’s….”

“Kevin?”

“He’s taken care of me,” he said quickly, as if embarrassed. “Food and water. This room. He brought these things. For me. I don’t know how he got them. I don’t know why. But he did.”

“Yeah,” I said. “He sure seems real swell.”

Justin scoffed. “It was better when I couldn’t understand him.”

“And that might be my fault. My magic… I don’t know. It has to be a proximity thing. It reacts with the dragon and the dragon’s magic reacts with mine. Okay. Honestly. I have no fucking idea.”

Justin stood near the doorway. “I read to him. Sometimes. He likes books. Even if he couldn’t understand them. Or me. He likes it when I read to him.”

I didn’t even know what to do with that. So I said, “Couldn’t you have escaped? When he was gone?”