The Line That Binds (34 page)

Ben sat up a little straighter at my words and his brow creased. He mimed, “Are you okay?”

I didn’t acknowledge his silent question.

“Well, you should come out later and watch me ride if you feel any better,” Gavin offered.

“I’ll think about it,” I replied to appease him. I’d say whatever I needed to just to get out of his room. I couldn’t be around Ben right now. It was too soon. I backed out through the door and walked quickly to my room. Apparently, I wasn’t fast enough. Ben’s arm slipped around my waist, stopping me outside my door.

“Please, LJ. I just want to know if you’re okay.” He backed up and leaned his shoulder against the wall, his hand lingering on my waist, barely touching.

I tore my eyes from his and dropped my face. “Physically, just tired. Emotionally, well that’s a different story.”

“Did you find anything?” He pulled his hand from my waist and lifted my chin. His eyes roamed my face before settling on my eyes. His gaze was so intense my eyes began to water.

“No,” I said, reaching my hands up to his chest and feeling his muscles tighten beneath my fingers.

“Please, don’t cry. God, I’m such an idiot,” he said, covering my hands with his own. “I’m so sorry. Just let me help you find the answers.” His voice was a gentle whisper.

I couldn’t think when I was this close to him. Everything seemed to melt away whenever I felt the warmth of his breath and the comfort of his arms. I couldn’t let that happen this time. I was still mad at him for hiding the truth from me, which was basically lying as far as I was concerned. He could’ve warned me, but he didn’t. Now, I was hearing voices, granting wishes, and going insane without information. I didn’t know why it was happening or how it was possible. And I had no idea what I was supposed to do with the power the well had given me. The fear from all of that was more than enough to deal with; I didn’t need to handle the heartache of someone lying to me, too.

I tensed my hands against his chest as my mind battled a decision that grew more difficult every time his heart beat beneath my palms. Finally, I found the strength to push him away. “I don’t need this right now, Ben. Please, just leave me alone,” I whispered. I slipped inside my room and watched his head fall as I closed the door.

Sunday morning I journeyed into the basement again. Thankfully, Ben had enough respect to let me work in peace without coming through the tunnel; though, that didn’t stop me from being paranoid about it. Every time I heard a noise, I expected to see him standing in front of me.

I took a late lunch break after Dad left for a Sunday shift. When I returned to the top of the basement stairs, prepared for another round of excavation, the doorbell rang. My stomach turned flips as I walked the hall. I leaned my face close to the peephole, fully expecting to see Ben’s brown eyes in the doorway, with the same brooding look that nearly leveled my defenses yesterday. But the eyes were Izzy’s dark blues, shifting out toward the front yard while she waited for me to answer. Her overgrown bangs weren’t hanging in her face today; they were pinned and gathered back into a high pony with the rest of her long brown hair. She bounced her petite body, foot to foot, like she was a boxer ready for a fight.

I opened the door. “Hey, Izzy.”

“Hi, LJ,” she replied with a soft smile. Her eyes darted over her shoulders then came back to me.

“Are you here for Gavin?”

“No, well, yes. But I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Okay,” I said, hanging the door open wider. “You want to come in?”

“No. I would, but I’ve got to get right back. I volunteered to get Gavin so I could talk to you really quick. First, I wanted to say sorry that we haven’t really talked before now. I’m not good with the whole social thing.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been dealing with some things lately so I apologize too.”

“I’m just glad you’re all right after fainting the other week, and the fight on Friday.”

“Yeah, sorry you got suspended with us, but thanks for helping with Emily. I didn’t expect her to tackle me,” I admitted.

“No problem. I’ve been the new girl before. And as far as Emily is concerned, it was bound to happen. I don’t even want to get started on that topic. Anyway, I’m not sure what’s up between you and Ben,” she said and held her hands up when my posture stiffened. “I know it isn’t my business, but I just wanted to let you know about his surprise birthday party this Friday. We talked Simone into having something for him here on the property.”

“Oh, that’s a nice surprise.”

“Yeah, we hope so. Will you come?”

“I, uh …” I stuttered, the words getting trapped somewhere inside my throat. I didn’t know if I should go. I would hate to ruin his birthday with my issues, though I’d also hate to ruin it by being selfish and not showing up to support him.

“Look. I probably shouldn’t say this because Ben is my friend, but I have to tell you. I’ve known the boys for over a year now and I’ve seen something change in Ben since you moved here. He put pegs on his Honda. That says more than you probably realize.”

I smiled at her honesty. “Should I bring something besides a gift? A dish or something?”

Her eyes widened happily then they stole glances over her shoulders, making sure no one was around. “Not unless you want to. Simone’s arranging for appetizers and a cake, but it’s not a full dinner or anything. He has an appointment at five so he’ll be off property then. I can come over to get you, or you can just come outside around that time to help set up. If you want.”

“Either’s good,” I agreed. “Gavin!” I yelled behind the open door.

“You can invite your dad, too. All the employees will be there, minus Emily as far as I know. And I’ll tell Gavin about it on the walk to the barn.”

“Tell me what?” Gavin asked, scooting past me though the door. He pulled his last boot on and shuffled outside.

“Thanks for coming over, Izzy.”

“See you Friday,” she said with a smile and a wink. They both jumped down the steps and she playfully mussed up Gavin’s hair as they walked down the sidewalk.

I’d just finished organizing last week’s supply receipts when LJ walked into the barn. Her hair was tightly braided, and a pair of mirrored sunglasses hid her eyes from me. I also noticed that she was wearing her earphones again.
So much for trying to talk to her today.

I didn’t have a chance to see her yesterday. She was probably buried in the basement. I’d wanted to help her so badly that I couldn’t think straight. I tried to stay occupied, but periodically I’d find myself in my own basement, pacing the dirt in front of the tunnel door, fighting with morality and compassion, which was seriously warping my sanity. On one side, I needed to help her. I was to blame for everything because I could’ve told her about the curse and possibly prevented this situation all together. Not only that, but I also cared about her. I
wanted
to help her. On the other side, I cared enough to respect her, which meant not pressuring her, and giving her the space she’d asked for when I really wanted to bust down the door and dig through all of the boxes for her.

This was my struggle.

I blinked my tired eyes, stood up behind the barn’s desk, and smiled at her blank expression. I didn’t care that she was acting this way; underneath all the problems, I knew how she really felt about me. I’d seen it in her eyes before every kiss and felt it every time her body shivered from my touch. She couldn’t hide from that, no matter how long she tried to stay away. I wasn’t being conceited. I knew because I felt it too.

She tugged an earbud out, stepping beside the desk. “What do you want me to do today?” she asked quietly, skimming her fingertips over the edge of the desk.

There were so many ways to answer such a simple question. I wanted her to let me help her, to forgive me, and to let me hold her. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear right now though so I simply said, “You can either pull weeds or you can go slay them with the weed whacker.”

The delicate edges of her lips twitched up so lightly I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t already been staring at them.

Progress.

“Without supervision, I should probably stick to pulling the weeds,” she replied. I lifted a brow and she added, “That wasn’t an invitation.”

“Ouch,” I joked. “I guess I’ll go watch Randall wash the tractor then. I seem to have a thing for bubbles lately.”

There was no response for that one. Apparently, humor was only going to get me so far. “There are a bunch of fresh victims for you to pull behind the gazebo.”

She nodded and grabbed a pair of gloves from the locker. I watched as she walked away, hypnotizing me again with the sway of her hips. Just before she disappeared around the barn door, she looked back.

My interactions with LJ had been brief all week. I’d give her humorous job instructions to keep it light and she’d smile a little bigger each day. Most of the time, she looked as tired as I felt and I hoped it was just from her search and not from anything physical like headaches. Every day I’d ask her how she felt and she’d always answer with a generic “fine” or “good.” I never pushed further because I didn’t want to push her away, but seeing her that way was killing me.

Thursday, she met me by the side garden. Her shiny hair was pinned to the top of her head with spiky pieces poking out in all directions. She was calmer than she’d been all week.

“Hey,” I said when she stopped beside the group of lilies I was deadheading.

“Hi,” she replied, pulling an earbud out. “What’s the workload for today?”

I stood up and tossed the dead bloom into the bag at my feet. “Well, we’re ahead on normal tasks. I was going to ask Pop if he had anything out of the ordinary he needed worked on, but I can’t find him. I haven’t seen him all day, actually. In fact, I haven’t really seen anyone today. Well, that’s not true. I got mean mugged by Simone earlier. She told me to let you know that we don’t have to work tomorrow because she scheduled a last minute-event. She’s going to give me the pay checks early.”

“Oh, okay. That’s cool.”

“She was angrier than normal. I guess Emily called out all week because of the suspension. Her parents didn’t think it was a good idea to be around us.”

“I was wondering why I hadn’t seen her car in the lot,” she said, adjusting her sunglasses on the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah. At least her parents are sensible,” I said, watching her bite the corner of her lip as she glanced around the property. “Do you want me to bring your check over to your place tomorrow when I get them? It’ll be sometime before four.”

She moved her gloves back and forth between each hand. “Sure. Just drop it with my dad if I’m busy.”

“Right,” I agreed. I’d agree to anything she was willing to offer. “I’m going to keep working on these. You could probably go to the barn to clean and organize the tools, unless you want to help here. Or do you have something else in mind?”

“No, the barn sounds fine.” She tucked a few loose hairs behind her ears and plugged the earbud back in. “See you later.” She smiled softly before walking away.

“Later.”

I watched her walk away, unable to tell how she was truly feeling. Her searches in the basement weren’t going well, that much I knew. I’d sneak into the basement at night if I knew she wouldn’t get angrier if she found out. I wasn’t willing to take that risk. I couldn’t hurt her anymore.