The Lone Alpha Unleashed: A Big Girl Meets Bad Wolf Romance (4 page)

Afterwards we lay naked and
panting in each other’s arms. It was difficult, but I was coming to terms with
the fact that this could only ever be some kind of fling. It would be hard to
get over James. Maybe the hardest thing I had ever done. It was a cruel twist
of fate that had brought us together and a crueler one that made us feel the
way we did about each other and I knew I would feel that sting of cruelty for a
long time to come.

He waited until I was asleep
before he slipped out from under the covers and began to get dressed. Before he
left, he bent low to kiss my face and I felt the sweet manly warmth of his
breath on my skin for what I was sure would be the last time.

“I’m sorry Carrie. I
will
find you.”

I waited until I hear the door
close behind him before I started crying.

Please..  please,
I want you.

- X -

A great woman once said,
“relationships that start under intense circumstances never last”
. Words of
wisdom from Sandra Annette Bullock, my personal heroine and spiritual advisor
when it came to matters of the heart. Sure, some might say that a woman who
married a serial adulterer with a thing for nazis might not be the best role
model when it came to relationship advice. But maybe if I’d have listened to
Sandy I wouldn’t have felt quite as bad as I did. Maybe I’d have been better
prepared when things fell apart. Maybe… but I doubt it.

There are relationships, then
there are relationships. What James and I had may have started under intense
circumstances, but there was more to it than that. Some kind of bond that
tethered us. Something that made me feel like a man I barely knew was destined
to be my soulmate. Something that made me feel like less of a person now that
we were apart.

“Carrie! Carrie! Snap out of it
babe.”

Trudy was my friend. Possibly my
best friend. This night out had been her idea. Personally, I would have
preferred to stay home, curled up on the couch with a tub of ice cream and a
bad movie, but I realized I needed to move on. I needed to get over him.

“You need to move on. You need
to get over him.”

“I know. I know, okay. It’s
just...”

“Seriously, I know it must be
hard, but I never thought Mitch was right for you in the first place.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry babe, I never said
anything when you were going out, even when you got engaged, but I never
thought it was a good fit… wait, what’s so funny?”

I just shook my head. No one
knew about James. Not even my best friend. He was my little secret. As far as
my friends were concerned the funk I’d been in for the last month was a result
of Mitch calling off our engagement, but in truth I’d barely given him a second
thought since I had met my hunky wolfman.

Sure, Mitch and I had loved each
other, but looking back, I’d come to realize that what we had wasn’t healthy,
especially for me. Mitch dug my curves, he couldn’t get enough of my big
beautiful body. But at the same time he was ashamed of me. He wanted to keep me
hidden away like some kind of dirty little secret.

James wasn’t anything like that.
I like to think that we loved each other. But there was a lust between us so
loud and furious that it drowned everything else out. It’s hard to sit down and
have a heart-to-heart about your future with a man who drives you so crazy that
you can’t keep your hands off him.

James believed that there was
something supernatural about it. Some kind of bond between us that marked us as
true mates, destined to be together forever. I wasn’t so sure about that, but
there was definitely something unnatural about the heat I felt when we were
close. I think it was one of the reasons I had to get away.

That was the bit that was hard
to believe. That was the reason I hadn’t told anyone yet. I’d met a
ridiculously hunky stud of a man. who couldn’t keep his hands off me and really
knew his way around a woman’s body. I’d met a man who believed he was fated to
be with me forever. A man who was fiercely protective of me, who would never be
ashamed of me, who loved me unconditionally… and I’d left him.

Trudy was more likely to believe
he was a werewolf than she would believe that
I
was the one who walked
away from a guy like that.

Yeah. James was a werewolf, or
shifter as they preferred to be called. Not only that, but he was an Alpha, a
natural leader, genetically programmed to protect and provide for those he
loved. He had a load of baggage, but who didn’t? I wasn’t over him. I was
pretty sure I’d never be over him. But that night I was determined to do a damn
good job of pretending to.

“Don’t worry about it Tee. I’m
over him.”

Trudy raised her shot glass and
I followed suit. My fourth, or maybe fifth, I couldn’t remember.

“That’s what I’m talking about
babe. Fuck ‘em and forget ‘em right? Here’s to moving on.”

We touched glasses and I knocked
back another shot of some sickly, sweet, green concoction that burned on the
way down.

“So, uh… don’t look now, but
there’s this tall, dark and seriously hot guy at the bar who keeps checking you
out.”

James?
I turned so hard I
almost gave myself whiplash. It wasn’t him, but we were still talking seriously
smoldering. Even across the dimly lit dance floor, that much was clear.

“Him? Get real. You’re just
trying to cheer me up,” I said.

Trudy spread her hands in a
believe-what-you-want
gesture by way of a reply.

When we were out together it was
always Trudy that got all those kind of looks. I was the chubby friend who had
to make her own way home after Trudy hooked up with yet another in a seemingly
endless string of one night stands. Trudy was confident. Trudy was pretty.
Trudy was… well, kind of a slut. Something she was actually rather proud of.

It was hard to believe that
anyone in a place like this would be checking me out and not her. That said,
since James, I’d been making more of an effort with my appearance. Not because
I had anything to prove, but because for the first time in my life I actually
had a bit of self confidence. If a man like that could be interested in me,
then maybe I didn’t have to settle for someone like Mitch.

I’d even joined a gym. It took a
while for them to convince me that my boobs wouldn’t suddenly disappear the
second I picked up a dumbbell and I wouldn’t end up looking like one of those
freakishly bulging bodybuilders. I’d joined a gym, I was eating a little
better, I’d spent some money on a new wardrobe that actually suited my figure
and when I looked in the mirror before heading out for a night on the town, I
actually kind of liked what I saw. Why was it so hard to believe that other
people wouldn’t like it as well?

I swivelled again, this time
trying to be a little more subtle. Tall, dark and smoking hot was looking right
at me. He grinned, I smiled back, he stood and headed over. I turned back to
Trudy and mouthed a silent
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
. It was nice to feel
this excited again.

“Are you having a good evening
ladies?”

Our visitor had somehow managed
to arrange for a bottle of champagne and three glasses to arrive at our table
at the same time that he did. That took a certain level of panache that few men
could pull off. I couldn’t see the label, but it looked like the good stuff
too.

“Well, we are now Mr. Bond.”
Trudy exclaimed as she accepted a glass of bubbly from the server.

I had to admit that this guy fit
the bill. There was the precise British accent that seemed to float
effortlessly over the noise of the club for a start. Beyond that he wore a
slightly crumpled tuxedo, minus the jacket. He was way overdressed for a night
out at a club, and I guess he’d just come from a wedding or something, but he
totally owned the whole super-spy look.

“Actually, it’s Grant,” he
tugged at the cuffs of his shirt, hamming it up a little, “Edward Grant. But
I’d appreciate it if you kept it on the down low. I’m undercover,” He gave
Trudy a wink as he played along with her.”

“Whatever you say
Double-Oh-My-God. What brings you to our neck of the woods anyway?”

I just sat back and sipped
champagne as Trudy performed her wingman duties admirably. She jousted with
Edward and within minutes had confirmed that he was single, employed and (don’t
ask me how) disease free.

“Right, that’s me done. I need
to go line up for the restroom. I’ll leave you two in peace. Before I go.
Edward, a request.”

“Sure, anything.”

“Could you say
knickers
for me?”

“Uh… knickers?”

We could still hear Trudy
howling with laughter when she was halfway across the room. I blushed,
embarrassed on her behalf.

“You’ll have to excuse Trudy.
She’s a little strange.”

“I thought she was sweet. She’s
very protective of you.”

I’d never really noticed it
before, but I guess he was right. She was.

“It’s usually the other way
around. I’m usually the one trying to protect her from the advances of strange
men.”

“I find that hard to beli…”

“Uh-uh-uh-uh,” I held up my hand
in the universal gesture for
hold-it-right-there-mister
, “don’t say it.
I find myself with a very low tolerance for empty platitudes these days.”

He shrugged, “believe what you
will. But I was all the way over there and you caught my eye. And now I’m all
the way over here and I can’t stop looking. But…”

“But?”

“Oh nothing. I’m only in town
for the night. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances.”

I considered that for a moment,
as we shared a slightly uncomfortable silence. I took the time to take stock.
The hollow ache was still there. I missed him every second of every day. But
maybe just for one night, even if they couldn’t fill the James shaped hole in
my heart, someone else could fill the James shaped hole in my life. Not to
mention the James shaped hole between… OK, lets not go there.

But the truth of the matter was
that since my encounter with that sexy wolf man, my libido had gone into
overdrive and got stuck there. I was horny as hell these days… and the nights
were even worse. I don’t know if it was my new found confidence, the change in
my diet or something else entirely. It was as if that one crazy and intense
encounter had unlocked a side of me I never knew existed.

“Just the night you say? I don’t
suppose we’re talking a swanky hotel room? A suite at the Four Seasons perhaps?”

He shook his head, “No such luck
I’m afraid.”

Damn, and my apartment was in no
state to be entertaining suave and sexy foreigners.

Without thinking I blurted out,
“I did happen to notice a rather attractive alley on my way in.”

I wasn’t sure exactly what had
got into me. I might as well have straight up asked him if he wanted to fuck me
up against a wall and then never see me again. It wasn’t exactly subtle.

“You deserve better than that,
but I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Edward offered me his arm to
escort me out of the club. It felt nice, being so close to another person
again. It had been weeks since James and I had been together and all that time
I’d been so alone and miserable. I took some comfort in the fact that Edward
reminded me of him. His warmth, his size and the cocky swagger of his gait.

There was something about him as
well. Something about the way he looked at me that made me feel like he would
take care of me and protect me.

When the cold night air hit me,
I felt light headed and unsteady. I had, perhaps, underestimated the amount of
alcohol I had consumed. I would have toppled over if Edward hadn’t caught me.

“You smell nice,” I told him as
his big arms wrapped around me and I found my face pressed against his chest.
My tongue felt swollen in my mouth and I was a little dizzy, but I wasn’t about
to let that get in the way of a sordid one night stand with an out-of-town
hunk.

“Whatever you say Carrie,” he
grinned down at me as he guided us off the street and into an alley that ran
down the side of the club. I guess I didn’t deserve better than that after all.
And I didn’t mind. Even though my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton
wool, I had to admit I was up for the idea of dropping panties for a handsome
stranger for a seedy quickie in an alley.

More than up for it. I felt
primed and ripe. After a month of taking care of myself, I was eager for
action.

I was breathing heavily as I
turned and reached for him. I needed him close. I needed his body against mine.
I ached for his kiss. His lips brushed mine and I gasped at the contact as I
pushed against him, eager for more.

“Take me… please.”

“Heh, you’re not at all like I
imagined, but I’m not complaining.”

He traced a line along the side
of my face with his finger before returning to kiss me in earnest. His kiss was
just what I needed. Raw and rough, but somehow comforting. I was already
buzzing from the alcohol and now there was a sweet sexual warmth added to the
mix. I felt like I was melting

Wait, something is wrong
.
I ignored the alarm bells ringing in my head and gave into this passionate
stranger’s kiss. I groaned into his mouth as his hands found and cupped my ass,
pulling me towards him. I arched my back in an attempt to grind myself against
him and once more came close to losing my balance.

“Wait. What did you mean?”

When I broke the kiss, he
continued to kiss me. His lips were hot against the flesh of my neck as he
nibbled and teased.

“Hmm?”

“I’m not like you imagined? What
do you…”

I struggled to complete the
sentence. My head was spinning and It was a constant struggle to keep my eyes
open.