Read The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven Online

Authors: Sherman Alexie

Tags: #Adult, #Humour

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven (25 page)

BOOK: The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven

“Okay, okay,” the professor said. “Enough lecture. Time for a pop quiz. And you can all thank Mr. Polatkin for it.”

The class groaned and struggled with the test. Junior ran through the test, answered most questions correctly, missed a couple. He carried the test up to the professor.

“Correct this,” Junior said.

“I’ll give it back to you next class,” the professor said.

“No, correct it now.”

The professor grabbed the test from Junior, hoped it was a failure. But Junior did well enough to get an A.

“Happy now?” the professor asked.

“No,” Junior said. He took the test paper back and threw it in the garbage as he walked out the classroom door and out of college. He hitchhiked back to the reservation, stopped at a pay phone, and made a collect call to Lynn.

“Hello, Lynn, this is Junior. I left school.”

“Junior, you can’t do that. You can’t go back to the reservation. You’ll die out there.”

“Well, I’m dying at school, too. So I guess it’s a matter of choosing my own grave.”

“Listen, Junior, do you need anything?”

“Can I talk to my son?”

“Sure, hold on.”

Junior waited for Sean Casey’s voice.


“Hi, Sean, it’s Daddy.”


“I love you, Sean.”

Quen comanche
, Daddy.”

“Yeah, Sean,
quen comanche

Junior hung up the phone and walked down the highway toward the reservation. He wanted to imagine that he was walking off into the sunset, into a happy ending. But he knew that all along the road he traveled, there were reservation drive-ins, each showing a new and painful sequel to the first act of his life.

All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following journals, where some of these stories originally appeared, in slightly different form:
Hanging Loose:
“Crazy Horse Dreams” and “Family Portrait”;
Blue Mesa Review
: “Imagining the Reservation”;
“This Is What It Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona.”

Copyright © 1993, 2005 by Sherman Alexie
New Prologue Copyright © 2013 by Sherman Alexie and Jess Walter

Cover design by Connie Gabbert


This edition published in 2013 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.

345 Hudson Street

New York, NY 10014



Available wherever ebooks are sold

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