She stared at him, wide-eyed.
"You're wrong," she said, her voice hushed.
"I spoke to you of allowing yourself to be empty, in order that you might become filled with knowledge. Beware those, Senna, who sense their own emptiness ... and fill it with ignorance."
"You're wrong," she said again, shaking her head far more vehemently. "And I will tell you why. Because let us look at the history, indeed. In the circumstances you've mentioned, the sort of conversation we are having would never be allowed to happen. Particularly, it would not be allowed to happen between a teacher and a ward of the emperor himself. Such regimes as you describe are the antithesis of thought. Free will is not only discouraged, it is forbidden. Dissidents, intellectuals, writers ... anyone who can ask the eternal `why' such as you do, is silenced. And that is not the case here."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!" And then, to her astonishment, Telis reached forward and grabbed her by the forearm. There was an intensity – even a bit of fear – that she had never seen in his eyes before.
"You are still a member of the privileged elite, Senna. If it were happening, would you truly know until it was too late? I see others, persons such as myself, others who have questioned or probed ... and suddenly they have changed their opinions. Suddenly they have accepted that which is presented presented..."
"Perhaps they have simply realized the rightness of–"
"... or else they have disappeared," continued Telis.
Senna became silent for a moment.
"Disappeared? What do you mean?"
"They move into outlying lands. Or simply drop off the face of the planet. Oh, it's all done very privately. Very efficiently. When they come for me..." he said thoughtfully, as if speculating about the fate of someone else entirely, "I imagine I shall be one of the ones who just drops off. For they know they cannot silence me any other way. I am publishing a paper at the end of this week that questions the true motives of those who are running the great machine that is our government. It will not earn me any friends and will garner me enemies even more formidable than I presently have."
Senna could see that this was no longer one of his mind-twisting journeys of curious logic. She took his hand firmly and squeezed it, and said,
"Nothing will happen to you. You are my teacher. You are favored by the emperor. You are protected, and your thoughts are valued. Say what you will. No ill will befall you."
"Is that a promise to me?" He seemed genuinely amused by her fervency.
"That is my conviction and belief in our system, in our society ... and in our emperor. I believe in all three."
He couldn't help but smile. "Why?" he asked.
She was annoyed, but still couldn't help but laugh at the insouciance with which he said it.
"Because I do."
"That is circular logic," he said reprovingly.
"Perhaps. But the nice thing about circular logic is that you can't break through the circle."
To her surprise, Telis Elaris then reached over and hugged her tightly. And he whispered into her ear, "Don't ever change..." And then he paused and added, "...unless it's for the better."
When Senna returned to the palace, Durla was waiting for her. She wasn't quite certain that he was actually waiting for her specifically, but as she approached her chambers, he seemed to materialize from around a corner.
"Young lady Senna," he said with a slight bow. The informal title by which Londo had referred to her had come into common usage around the palace. It seemed almost a term of endearment when spoken by the right individuals ... one of whom Durla most certainly was not. Once again she found herself wondering just what it was that the emperor saw in him. She could only assume that he was extremely efficient in his job. For some reason, however, that thought chilled her even more.
"Minister Durla," she replied, attending to the response as courtesy demanded.
"I hope your lessons today were appropriately stimulating to the intellect," he said.
"Yes, they were. Thank you for your consideration." She started to head toward her chambers, and Durla stepped ever so slightly to one side. It was just enough to block her without coming across as threatening. She stopped in her tracks, folded her arms and regarded him with a raised eyebrow.
"Is there something else, Minister?"
"We would be most appreciative if your lessons with Telis Elanns were held within the palace from this day forward," Durla said.
"Would you?" She was not enamored of the notion, as was painfully clear in her body language and dubious expression. "And why would that be? Pray tell?"
"It is a matter of security."
"And being minister of Internal Security, that would naturally be important to you. Your concern is noted, Minister, but Telis and I find the fresh air of the outdoors to be more ... what was the phrase you used? More `intellectually stimulating' than the walls of the palace."
"Nor would I wish to hamper your educational growth. These are, however, dangerous times."
"Indeed. How so?"
"Agents and allies of the Alliance lurk everywhere." Senna let out an overdramatic gasp and quickly looked around, as if she were concerned that enemies might spring out from the very walls around them. Durla, for his part, was clearly not amused. "You can afford to take such things lightly, young lady, for your youth gives you a very limited sense of your own mortality. And since you see no enemy, you do not fear one."
"Actually, it is my understanding that something which you cannot see can be the most dangerous." For a moment, Durla actually appeared startled. Senna couldn't quite figure out why he reacted the way he did, but then he smoothly composed himself, doing it so quickly that Senna wondered if she had perhaps imagined it all.
"Quite so, and since you understand that, I take it that you will acquiesce to our request."
"You keep saying `we' and `our,' Durla. Is this your initiative, or the emperor's?"
"It is my recommendation. The emperor is in accord with it."
"I see. And if I ask him, he will verify it?"
"Absolutely. Although I will be hurt if you doubt my word in such an obvious manner." Senna considered the situation. She had a feeling that Durla wasn't lying. That the emperor would indeed back up his minister of Internal Security. Then again, she was a ward of the emperor. He should care about her concerns as well.
"You have also said this is a recommendation. Are you prepared to have the emperor order me to confine Telis and myself to the palace?" To her surprise, Durla said quite soothingly,
"Of course not, young lady. No one has any desire to make you feel a prisoner, or constrict your movements beyond that which you are prepared to allow. We ... I ... am concerned only about your safety."
"Look at it this way, Durla," she said. "I became orphaned during a time when death rained from the heavens. At a time when so many died that the corpses were piled up as far as the eye could see. And I survived all that, without your help. So I think I'm more than capable of attending to my own safety."
"As you wish, young lady. But do be careful. If something were to happen to you, I know the emperor would be most upset. And I doubt that he would be overly enthused by my presenting, as an excuse, the notion that you simply wished to continue taking the air while learning at the feet of Telis Elaris."
"Your job is not without risks, Minister Durla. Certainly you must have known that before assuming the position."
"All of life is risk, young lady Senna." He bowed and began to walk away.
And then Senna – somewhat to her surprise – stopped him as she asked, "Minister have you noticed a reduction in the number of writers, artists ... creative individuals ... in residence on Centauri Prime?"
"No more so than usual, young lady."
"Than usual?" She found the phrasing rather rather odd.
"Why yes. Such types are notoriously undependable and prone to difficulties. They starve for their art and so are lost ... or they require dangerous drugs or drink in order to achieve their `creative vision,' and come to harm through improper dosage.
"And then, of course, there are those of a radical bent. A thoroughly pugnacious and bellicose type, given to unfortunate accidents through altercations with others who possess opposing viewpoints. A rather sordid crowd, truly," he sighed. "Oh, I suppose that handsome, loquacious types such as Elaris make them seem ... romantic. But as a group, they are quite unstable. If you do research, I think you'll find that many of them tend to come to rather bad ends. Let us hope that Elaris is not among those." Something in his last statement chilled Senna slightly.
"What do you mean by that, Minister?"
"Why, nothing, young lady. Nothing at all. Enjoy your ... outdoor chats." He bowed and then went on down the hall. Senna considered his words – and then went straight to the room that was usually used for her assorted lessons. She went over the room as meticulously as she could, searching for some sign of a listening device, to see if her lessons and conversations were being monitored. But she found nothing. Finally, exhausted from looking, she flopped down in a chair and sat there, wondering what Telis would say when she told him of the exchange she had just had with Durla.
5
.
She only caught the flash of light from the corner of her eye. It was several days later and Senna was seated upon the hillside, wondering when Telis Elaris would show up. She was becoming somewhat apprehensive, for Telis was never late. In fact, he was so punctual that it bordered on the annoying. She realized that they had never finished their "game" of seeing images in the clouds. Fortunately, this day was as nicely cloudy as the other had been, and so she let her mind wander as she gazed upon the billowing fluff high overhead. She decided that one of them had taken on the shape of a giant spider. And another, with the odd crest to it and the curious convergence of shapes, looked like the emperor's face, only scowling. Scowling at the giant spider. She found that amusing for some reason.
So absorbed was she in her game that she barely noticed the light flash coming from the direction of the city. However, notice it she did, and she sat up quickly. It was then that she heard the explosion that had accompanied the flash. She could tell from the sound of the explosion that something large had gone up, though, and naturally her first thought was that Centauri Prime was once again under attack by the Alliance. She scanned the heavens, preparing herself for some follow-up blast, but all remained silent. Then there was a second, even louder explosion, and by that point a column of thick black smoke had begun rising from the source.
Now Senna was on her feet, shading her eyes with one hand as she tried to make out precisely where the explosion had come from. Her breath caught in her throat, and she staggered slightly. Even from where she was, she could make out that the explosion had originated in the building that housed the home and office of Telis Elaris. She didn't even remember starting to run. She was halfway there, her legs moving like pistons, and it was only when she realized that she was cutting her feet to ribbons on assorted stones and such that she remembered she was still holding her shoes. She stopped for a few seconds, never taking her eyes off the column of smoke, almost stumbling but recovering quickly. Then she continued to run, her breath ragged in her chest, gasping for air but never slowing down. She came to an incline, tripped, fell, and tumbled heels over head the rest of the way. The incline butted up against the street and she slid down it in a most undignified fashion. However, so many people were running around, pointing and calling to each other, than no one took any notice of her.
She scrambled to her feet and staggered toward the place where the explosion had occurred. There had been some residual fire, but fortunately most of it had been contained by the time she got there. The building was already something that had become all too common on Centauri Prime: a burned-out shell. The last of the smoke was wafting heavenward, and people were pointing and speculating in hushed tones. Rescue workers were emerging with several bodies of persons who were obviously beyond rescue. Senna scanned their remains desperately, hoping and praying that she would not see what she most feared would be there. Her hopes and prayers went unanswered, however – the third body brought out from the ruins was clearly the charred remains of Telis Elaris. Half his face was gone, but there was enough left to recognize him. She turned away, her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle both her urge to scream and her urge to vomit, all at the same time.
Then she heard one of the rescuers say,
"We found this, Minister."
She forced herself to look back, and there was Durla, taking what appeared to be some sort of heavy box from one of the rescue workers. It was scorched but otherwise undamaged and Durla bowed slightly upon receiving it. Something within Senna snapped.
"Murderer!" she howled, and she launched herself straight at Durla. Thanks to her dishevelled appearance, he clearly did not recognize her at first as she charged him, fists balled, her face a mask of pure rage. She got to within five feet of him, and then two guards were there, intercepting her and lifting her off her feet. She kicked furiously, arms outstretched, fingers clawing spasmodically, and she shouted, "You did this! You're behind this! You murdering bastard!"
It was then that Durla realized who it was shouting at him.
"Young lady!" he said in obvious surprise.
"Don't call me that! Don't you ever call me that! You did this! You killed him!"
"Such ludicrous accusations. The girl is distraught. Take her back to the palace," said Durla unflappably as he tucked the box firmly under one arm. "We shall sort this mess out later."
"You killed him because he was a free thinker! Because he challenged! Because he made other people think! You'll pay for this, Durla! I'll make you pay!"
He shook his head sadly as Senna, still kicking and screaming, was carted away to the palace.