Authors: Rob Reger
FISH POOP IS NOT FISH FOOD!
Day 10
Had an excellent creepy dream that involved flying around Blackrock like a bird. After I got tired of daredevil aerial stunts, I started looking around town for somewhere to land. I didn’t want to land on anything painted beige; I knew that stuff was deadly. And wouldn’t you know—I couldn’t find anything not painted beige. Started getting really tired and anxious to find a place to land, even for a second, but I couldn’t find the minipark tree, and the buildings started crowding together so that I couldn’t even find the ground. Finally I got so exhausted I just dropped out of the sky onto this beige roof. Right away the paint licked up my legs and crawled up my body and over my face, all cold and sticky and beigelike, into my mouth and nose and eyes and ears, and it just smothered the life right out of me, which is when I woke up.
Realized as soon as I was awake that I haven’t seen or heard any birds in Blackrock. How sad!
Later
Schneider came to see me at the Das El La Dungeon. Don’t ever let me say that guy is useless. No one else in Blackrock would have
given ME all this dirt. When I asked him how he got it, all he would say is, “Eh, I hang out at City Hall a lot.” Whatever that means. Also, he’s lived in Blackrock all his life. Anyway:
—Naturally I thought this was odd. Didn’t Emma LeStrande die a long time ago? Yes, Schneider said, she died 13 years ago, but no one knew where her will was. So the building is being held in trust, or something like that, until a will or an heir showed up. Anyway, back to the list:
Later-back at the El Dungeon
Noticed that HamHawk has a mini Magic 8-Ball on his keychain, you know, the kind that tells your fortune. I borrowed it from him and I’ve been asking it questions. Here’s what I got:
Later
I just reread the above entry. Smubbing Mongo! I am consulting toys for advice. I am clearly desperate!!!!
Later
I don’t think I believe a single thing that mini Magic 8-Ball had to say, and especially not answer #1! Just now, I was eating one of Raven’s sandwiches and bit into a big old wad of tinfoil. OK, maybe it was accidental. And then again, maybe next time I eat one of Raven’s sandwiches, I’ll swallow a big chunk of broken glass. Or a hearty layer of rat poison. Or maybe I’ll just start choking on a hunk of rotten cheese. Maybe Raven will “try” to give me the Heimlich, but she’ll “accidentally” end up crushing my rib cage instead. Aieeeee! Am starting to terrify myself here. All I can think about now is those
times I’ve come back to the El Dungeon after sleuthing around the town, only to find Attikol whispering to Raven, and she’d look up at me, all guilty-like. What if she WANTS to date him, and hates me for giving him that dumb challenge in front of everyone, and she can’t say it’s OK if he can’t do it because he is convinced it would destroy his manly reputation in town? What if she’s only pretending to be dull in the brain so no one will suspect her of killing Rachel? What if she’s getting nervous that my memory will return and I’ll tell the police everything I know about her? What if Attikol hates me for giving him that impossible challenge and wants to see me sleep with the fishes tonight? WHY AM I GETTING HYSTERICAL? FORGET THAT, WHERE ARE MY PARENTS? I NEED OUT OF HERE NOW!!!
Later
I am in deep danger!
Could not stand another minute of the El Dungeon, so I went and knocked on Jakey’s trailer and interrupted his video game. Good thing no one wants to share a trailer with him. I guess telling the whole caravan about his roommates’ dreams worked pretty well for him.
I wasn’t actually expecting anything useful from him, but I got something anyway: He confirmed that Attikol does not like me and has been thinking of a way to get me out of the picture so he’ll have better luck with Raven.