The Lost Days (Prairie Town Book 3) (31 page)

“I don’t know if I want to give it a try.  It’s so weird,” she admitted, hugging the towel around her stomach again.  Being around her two beach-body perfect friends made her ultra-paranoid.  They didn’t have the stretch marks she did.  “Plus, I’m not some single girl without obligations who can do this sort of thing on a whim.  I’m widowed.  I have two kids to think about.  What if that environment isn’t healthy for them?”

“There are plenty of families out there with more than two parents under the same roof, Kelly,” Tula explained, grabbing for her bottle of suntan lotion.  “They’re called Poly Families and it’s not as socially unacceptable as Nick thinks.  There are TV shows about this stuff.”

“But this isn’t a TV show.” She frowned.  “This is real life.  It’s
my
life.  It just seems so ridiculous, doesn’t it?”

“I have a broad definition of ridiculous, sweetie.  Being with two men and having them love you equally, loving each other equally...it sounds pretty normal to me.” Tula rubbed some lotion on her arms and smiled to herself.  “And hot.”

“Hotness aside,” Lydia said, grabbing her hand and holding it gently. “What matters most is what makes
you
happy.  If you want to try it, then go for it.  If you don’t, well, don’t.  Just be sure you don’t do anything you’ll regret; like knocking it before giving it a shot just because you’re afraid of what people will think.”

“The opinions of others are overrated,” Laney added, appearing beside them.  “Sorry for eavesdropping.  That was a hell of a story.”

“Laney!” Kelly quickly stood and hugged her arms around her friend, nearly squeezing the life from her.  “I was beginning to think you backed out.”

“From enjoying a day of sunshine? No way,” she replied, giggling and hugging her back.  “Benji got a phone call from a friend in Vermont and I didn’t want to rush him.  But I’m here now.”

“Good.  You can help us convince Kelly that she needs to do this.” Tula nodded firmly, lifting a leg up to rub lotion on.  “Tell her she needs to give the whole ménage à trois a chance.”

“The word alone is sexy.” Laney pulled a chair over and eased down, tugging her shirt off to reveal an adorable baby blue one-piece bathing suit.  “And I don’t see why you shouldn’t, girl.”

“Ugh, I don’t know.  Because...because we live in Prairie Town and stuff like this doesn’t happen?” It was a weak argument, she knew, but she was grasping for straws.

“Nonsense.  That is precisely why I’m running for mayor.” Tula tossed her lotion back into her bag and glanced towards the kiddie area, watching Skylar and Justin splash one another.  “I don’t want my son to live in a constant state of fear.  I don’t ever want him to be afraid to be who he is, or to love whoever he wants.”

Studying Skylar, Kelly couldn’t help but wonder if he was like Lydia.  Sometimes she thought he might be, but it wasn’t her business anyway.  Plus, he was so sweet.  What did it matter?

“I say do it,” Tula affirmed, lifting a hand in the air.  “Who’s with me?”

“I am!” Laney’s hand shot up in the air.

“Me, too.” Lydia raised her hand and smiled at Kelly.  “Do what makes you happy, Kel.  No matter what anyone else thinks.  Okay?”

“Did you guys really just have a vote on my love life?”

“Yes, we did.  And you’re welcome.” Tula smirked, pulling her sunglasses back into place. 

D
evin

Two days had passed by since Kelly caught them kissing.  48 hours had come and gone without Kelly returning Nick’s calls.  As much as Nick claimed not to like tension, there was so much of it lingering in the air that Devin was afraid to breathe sometimes.  He feared he’d make Nick angry, and so, he was walking on eggshells every time they were around one another.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen.  Had he known Kelly was going to drop by the store, he would have kept his distance from Nick.  He wouldn’t have given in to his feelings so easily.

But was he truly the only one to blame?  Nick had kissed him, after all.  The entire town could have seen it – hell, maybe they did.  But neither of them had really cared at the moment.  Hadn’t Nick been just as caught up in the heat of the moment?  Did they really care about the consequences?

He cares now,
he thought, placing his freshly cleaned clothes into a drawer. 
It’s all fucked up now.

They hadn’t spoken much since then. Nick was busy with work and he was
trying
to seem busy, too, but there wasn’t much he could do given he still didn’t have a job.  It made him feel useless, pathetic.  All the negative feelings were coming back and he was helpless to stop them.

It was funny how a little bit of happiness could keep the darkness at bay, but that darkness was looming overhead – stronger this time than ever before.

It’s my fault.

Sighing quietly, he made his way back downstairs and opened the front door, desperate for some fresh air.

It was a cloudy day, but at least it wasn’t raining.

Not yet.

The local weather station was calling for some hellacious rain in the next few days.  Thunderstorms would be headed Prairie Town’s way, thanks to Hurricane Carla.

Living in Prairie Town must have meant he’d been through them before, but he couldn’t help that he felt a little nervous about it.  Even the after effects of a hurricane could be dangerous.  Damaging winds, hard rain, possible tornadoes...

It wasn’t his idea of a good time.

Listening to the wind chimes on the next-door neighbor’s porch, clanging together wildly as a gust of wind came through, he leaned over the rail and clasped his hands together, peering at the empty street.

Now it makes sense,
he thought with a smirk. 
That stupid song finally makes sense.

While he was in the institute, he and everybody else had been tortured with one song, over and over again. Old Willy Hamilton had a record player and only one record:
End of the World
by Skeeter Davis.

But he totally understood the lyrics now, as he watched two girls jog by the house.

No matter what he was battling in his mind and heart, the world kept going.

The storm Prairie Town was about to get was nothing compared to the one already raging in his head.

“Damn it,” he muttered beneath his breath, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  “Why do I always screw everything up?”

He felt so stupid for getting his hopes up, for thinking life was actually going to get better.  Was he naïve for hoping Kelly would join them?

I don’t blame her.  I wouldn’t want to be with me either.

It was a downright depressing thing.

Nobody hated him as much as he hated himself, but knowing he was unlovable stung in the worst of ways.

He wasn’t good enough to be the one and only in Nick’s life.

He wasn’t good enough to be involved in the relationship Nick wanted most.

He wasn’t good enough for anything, was he?

Bowing his head, his eyes closed and his throat burned as his thoughts ran away with him. 

I wish I’d never lost my memories.

I wish they would’ve kept me locked up; it would be better than this.

I wish I’d never met Nick Laveau.

But damn it, that wasn’t true.  Nick was the best thing that could have happened to him.  Being with his handsome jack-of-all-trades brought him such happiness.

Why didn’t he feel worthy?

Why didn’t he feel like he deserved it?

It’s my fault Kelly won’t be involved with him. Not now, not ever.  She probably thinks I’ve got some sort of disease or something.

He didn’t, but she didn’t know that. 

She was only being nice to me because she felt sorry for me.  She doesn’t really—

“Devin?”

His eyes snapped open at the sound of her sweet voice and his head jerked up, surprised to find Kelly standing at the foot of the steps.   

Wearing the prettiest dress he’d ever seen, she peered at him with a worried expression, her lovely eyes glued to his.

“K-Kelly,” he stammered, suddenly nervous.  “What are you doing here?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure,” she admitted with a small smile.  “I got off work a little early, and since I don’t have to pick Jamie up until five and Justin’s with Skylar today, I thought I might drop by.” Tucking some golden hair behind her ear, she bit her lip and laughed.  “I suppose I don’t have any business being here, though...”

“No, don’t be ridiculous.” He pushed away from the rail and raked a hand through his hair, unable to hide his smile.  “Please come inside.”

“Are...are you sure?” Her eyes moved to the driveway and he knew what she was thinking.

She’s here to see Nick, not me.

“He won’t be home for another hour or so,” he said, ignoring the ache in his chest.  “But you’re welcome to come in and wait for him if you like.” He opened the front door and waited for her next move.  If she left, he wouldn’t blame her.

“Okay.” Much to his surprise—and delight—she climbed up the steps and smiled again.  “Thank you so much.”

He let her enter first, and then, while silently praying he didn’t screw things up any further, he shut the door and rubbed his sweaty palms together.  “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water would be just fine, thanks.” She turned around to gaze at him, that beautiful smile still lingering on her lips.  “It looks like we’re going to get rain, but it’s really humid out there.”

“Yeah, it’s hot.” His legs carried him swiftly into the kitchen and he managed to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, his mind racing.  “I reckon we’ll be getting some bad storms soon.”

“That’s what I heard,” she said, standing in the doorway.  “I don’t think I’m prepared for that.  My kids can sleep through anything, but I’m worried we might get some seriously bad weather.”

“I’m sure it won’t be anything to worry about,” he reassured her, unscrewing the cap and holding the bottle towards her.  “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes stayed on his as she opened the bottle and lifted it to her lips.

His heart raced as some water trickled down her chin.

“Oh, gosh.  I don’t know how that happened.” She laughed, quickly wiping at her chin.  “How do you miss something so big?”

They shared a laugh, but it did nothing to ease his nerves. 

Why was she
really
there?

Does this mean she’s not mad at Nick?

“Would you like to sit down?” He motioned to the table and visions of Nick and their endeavors flashed through his mind.

Damn it, man.  Now is not the time!

“Sure.” She sank into a chair and peered up at him, studying him.  “How’s your day been?”

“Good.  It’s been g-good.”

“That’s good.  Mine, too.”

He watched her as she carefully placed her bottle on the table and then clasped her hands together, licking her lips. 

“Can I ask you something, Devin?”

Shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, he nodded.  “Sure thing.”

“When Nick approached you about...his idea,”—she gnawed her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side—“How did you feel about it?”

He felt like it was a trick question.  Was she genuinely curious about his feelings because she was interested, or was she going to judge him over the fact he
did
want to be a part of it?

What if she was disgusted?

“I don’t really know how to answer that, Kelly.” He pulled out a chair and sat down, keeping his eyes on the table.  “At first I wasn’t sure, I guess.  It’s new to me – as far as I know.  It’s different.”

“You can say that again.”

“But then I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, you know?” He finally met her gaze, unable to read her expression.  “Nick is a good guy.  He makes me want to better myself in every way.”

“You care about him, don’t you?”

“I do,” he answered without hesitation.  “I really do, Kelly.  And I know he cares about you.”

“He does?”

Why did she seem so surprised?

“Of course, he does.  He’s been trying to figure out how to tell you about it – about us.  We never meant for you to find out about it like that.” Sliding his hand across the table, he touched his fingertips against hers.  When she didn’t pull away, he rested his hand over hers and gave her his best smile, a meaningful smile.  “And I just want you to know how sorry I am if I’m the deal breaker.”

“The deal breaker?  What makes you say that?” Her hand trembled beneath his and he completely understood.  He was nervous, too.

“Well, it is
me
we’re talking about.  I can’t blame you for how you feel about me.”

“And how do I feel about you?” She turned her hand over, resting her palm against his.  The warmth of her hand caused heat to soar through his arm, all the way into his heart.  “Because I don’t know how I feel about any of this, Devin.  It’s new to me, too.”

“I know.  And I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any grief.  I never meant for that to happen.”

“You didn’t cause me anything, Devin.” She sighed, gazing at their hands.  “We both fell into the same web.  Nick does seem like a nice guy, but he wasn’t honest with us.”

“He was trying to be, he just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“All he had to do was open his mouth.  I’m not some innocent little girl or anything.  I’m a mom, Devin.  I’m a widow.  I’m not new to the ways of sex or how this works.  We’re all adults here, aren’t we?”

“I’d like to think so.  But in his defense, it’s the facts you just stated.  That’s why he was taking so long to tell you about it.”

“I know I may seem fragile at times, but he should have given me more credit than that.” She seemed sad and he didn’t like that.  Watching as she closed her eyes and hung her head, he curled his fingers around her and squeezed gently. 

“He really does like you, Kelly.  Please let him prove that to you.”

“I’d like to, but...”

“But what?” He prompted when she didn’t finish the sentence.  The worst possibilities ran through his mind.

“It’s stupid.” She sighed, pulling her hand out from beneath his.  “I probably shouldn’t have come.  I’m sorry.”