The Lotus Effect (Rise Of The Ardent) (29 page)

I heard Bubbles make a sound of surprise just before he whispered thickly through the door, “Well I’ve said my piece and I hope you know I respect you. As a person, and as a fighter. I should go now, seeing as yer boyfriend is mean-mugging his way over to me.”

“Who Xander? We’re not . . . he’s not—” I sputtered back, but then clamped my mouth shut, knowing I sounded like an idiot.

“Judgin’ by the look on his face right now, I would hav’ to disagree,” Bubbles added quickly before I heard him bound away from the creaky porch.

Leaning the uninjured side of my face close against the door, I tried to listen to what was being said. The door muffled their words, but I could tell Xander was delivering a few choice words in his general direction. I blinked, jerking my head from the door as the force field went down and the handle began to turn.

My eyes widened and I squealed in shock,
Oh, Bones
! Realizing for the first time that I wasn’t properly dressed, I nearly tripped over my own feet as I tried to get away from the opening door.

“Lily?” Xander called out as he entered.

I gasped, embarrassed as I stood before him, my hair still dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around me to show for.

Making a weird face, I croaked out strangely, “Welcome back?”

Xander’s eyes went wide in appreciation and then dipped in anger. “Did he try to come in here while you . . . ? At night?” He growled in his throat, a deep menacing thrum of disapproval. “He really is asking for a horrible death.” He turned so he could pursue him. I reached out and stopped him, holding firm to the towel with my other hand.

“He’s harmless, Xander. He came to apologize. That’s all.”

Xander eyed me suspiciously for the truth before he shut the door behind him, the force field spreading around the hut once more. “
Harmless
. Tell that to your damaged face.” He brought his eyes up to meet mine again. The heat in their gray depths made me blush.

I clumsily backed my way towards the washroom.

He grinned as he watched me go, the smile reaching towards his eyes before he turned his back to me, crossing his arms. He lifted his chin, barely looking over his shoulder. “You act as though I’ve never seen you without coverings before.”

I froze in horror. “You . . .
you
what
?” I pulled the towel tighter as I stared him down, my eyes shooting daggers. If looks could kill, he’d most certainly be pinned to the wall in front of us.

Xander rolled his eyes with a smile before turning to look obediently at the door again. “Lily, I’m kidding. Though I must admit, I’ve had ample opportunity to do so if I wished.”

“Do
what
if you wished?” I shot out. Enough with being embarrassed. Now I was furious.

“I’ve checked you over for injuries while you were unconscious—on a few occasions already,” he said bluntly, but then added, “Don’t worry, my eyes were tame on the objective. No need to get all red in the face.” He paused, his tone serious. “That’s not how I do things.”

I scowled and swallowed hard as I finally backed my way into the washroom and slammed the door in front of me. I leaned up against it as I tried to control my breathing.

And how is it that he goes about doing things?
I wondered.

“Goodnight,” he called out as I heard him compress down upon the springs of his mattress. Even though I couldn’t possibly see him, I knew Xander was grinning at my expense behind the door, I could hear it in his voice.

I didn’t think he was going to say anything else, but then the mattress squeaked again like it did when he was restless. Even Xander had trouble sleeping at night. “I brought some anesthetics. I had Dex get them for me while I made sure you—” He paused. “They’re by your nightstand if you find you should need any,” he added, his voice low.

I sighed, knowing that even with Xander’s teasing or savage sternness, he always meant well. Always looking out for those he cared for with no account to his own feelings.

Xander was right—that wasn’t how he did things, and I believed him. I smiled inwardly, feeling a sense of contentment overwhelm me at the knowledge that I wasn’t walking this difficult path alone.

“Goodnight,” I echoed softly from behind the door before readying myself for another long, sleepless night ahead.

Chapter 30

Compromises

A steaming bowl of my favorite sugared oats sat awaiting me on the nightstand when I awoke. I groaned, but noticed that my face, though numb, held only a dull ache and not the intensity of the day before.

“Is this how you treat all the ladies?” I asked sleepily, rolling over to find Xander’s back turned to me as he sat from the edge of his bed. He looked over his shoulder and smiled, already dressed for the day.

“Only those brave enough to partner up with me. Morning, Lily.”

I scoffed and sat up some. “If I remember correctly, it was
you
who partnered up with
me
.”

Xander turned, giving me his full attention as he sat lacing his boots. “Oh yes, how easily I forget.”

He stomped each boot to the floor and stood, walking closer so he could stand by the end of my mattress. He had a smoldering look in his eyes and a wry smile on his face as he fiddled with the buttons of his shirt’s sleeve. “What a stupid thing to do,” he teased.

There it was, that
look
that he does. I blushed as I pushed myself up further and reached over to grab at my sugared oats, trying to ignore him. He was being way too flirty for him to think of me only as his ‘mistake’.

“Stop it with that charming smile
thing
that
you do. It’s too early,” I growled.

He laughed, his smile genuine. I could feel his eyes crawling up the back of my neck, inspecting me for a reaction. “Charming . . . never been known to be called that before.”

I furrowed my brow as I shoved a spoonful of warm oatmeal into my mouth. I wasn’t prepared for a morning full of awkwardness between Xander and I. Especially ones with hidden professions of . . . well, awkwardness.

I cleared my throat. “Thank you for breakfast,” I managed to say clumsily. And hoping to change the topic at hand, I turned to face him. “We should go to town today and meet Dex. I . . . well
 
. . .” I fiddled for an explanation. “. . . so I can stretch my legs before tomorrow’s match.”

He narrowed his eyes, seeing straight through my request. “You know they’ll not allow us to watch the other matches.”

Sighing, I replied despairingly, “I know. I just feel so isolated in here. Like I’m to be a speaker of an important event that I’ve yet to prepare for.”

“That’s how the Council wants you to feel. Exposed and unprepared, so that the fighting is raw.”

Xander shifted and neared my side. “Do you think you’re even ready to move about? Honestly, how do you feel?”

Fidgeting away from his stare, I took stock of how I felt: a bludgeoned piece of meat with my muscles screaming at me for having the very thought of wanting to exist.
Information in which Xander did not need to know.
“I’m fine. Besides I’ll have to make do if I’m to fight tomorrow. My face feels better already,” I lied.

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. Xander wasn’t the gullible type, nor was he the type to question. “I’ll only agree to go to town with you—as long as you agree to let me do one thing for you in return.”

“And what’s that?” I asked hesitantly.

“That’s not how this compromise works. You agree to it otherwise I won’t help you find Dex.”

I scoffed. “I’ll just find Dex on my own then.”

Xander made an amused face as he unbuttoned and shook out the sleeve of his other arm. “I doubt you’ll find him. And if you do manage, you’ll spend all day searching. There’s a large chance he’s nose deep in a bottle of bourbon and unconscious in someone’s rafters.”

“Well that’s a good enough start for me.”

Xander’s grin faded, became serious. “Just let me help.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue. “Fine, I agree to whatever you want to
help
me with.”

Xander attempted a smile, but he never achieved one, his face suddenly turning pale. “Just trust me okay?” he said, rubbing his hands together as if to warm them. They looked as though they were shaking. “Lie on your stomach.”

“Xander . . . what are you—” I started to ask as I sat up, but he was gesturing for me to lie back down.

“Please?”

I groaned, annoyed as I flipped over and hid my scarlet-colored face into the quilt of the mattress. “
Really
,
Xander.
This
is your compromise?” I mumbled inaudibly into the sheets.

His voice wavered some. “Just relax. Tensing your body up like that is defeating the purpose of what I’m trying to do.”

“
Me
relax? Look at you! And what is it exactly that you’re trying to
do
?” I asked acidly as I tried to lift my sore neck from the pillow to look at him.

He rolled his sleeves up past his elbows, slowly, hesitantly. His face looked strained and his eyes teetered to his hands as though he was nervous. “Teizel called it Reiki,” he said in a low, gravelly voice. “I’ve never done it before, on someone other than myself, but it should help ease the soreness from your muscles. I . . . I can tell they give you pain.”

“
What?
”
I tried to sit up to protest, but he eyed me hard, his resistance shattering.

“Just forget it. It was a stupid idea anyways,” he said as he stepped back, hastily pushing his sleeves down.

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I made a gruff sound. “Xander, just do whatever it is you’re going to do. Just try not to throw up on me . . . because it looks like you might.”

This is the Xander who’s killed men before without a second thought?

Xander didn’t move, just stood there. His mind, however—I could tell, was quite restless. He blinked then when the torrent of thoughts slowed. He swallowed, stepping towards me hesitantly. “I’m only doing this because we have to fight tomorrow. I’m not even going to touch you.”

I sighed, hating that I had to rest the uninjured side of my face on the mattress again, which made me look at him through my swollen eye. “Then why were you warming your hands if you’re not going to touch me?”

He ignored my question. “Close your eyes.”

Pulling a breath through my nose, I resigned to his request. Closing my eyes, I waited.

He spoke again. “Reiki is a type of energy transference. Teizel first showed it to me after—after coming back to him, spending weeks at a time on my own.”

“In the Outlands on your own? No shelter? No food?” I asked against the mattress.

“Not always alone. There are some pretty frightening things out there. Let’s just say I’d come back with my share of hurts.”

Remembering the scars I’d seen on his back, I didn’t doubt he’d ran into his share of trouble either. I looked from the corner of my eye, noticing that his hands were hovering just above my neck.

Their trembling had stopped.

“And how is this supposed to help if you’re not even touching me?” Call me crazy, but just as I finished asking, the skin surrounding my neck felt as though it was beginning to turn balmy: a compress of warm relief.

Xander swallowed. “Let me ask you something first. Can you sense the energy of others around you?” he asked quietly.

“Sense energy? No . . . not at all. Why do you ask?”

He paused, leaning in close, and rested both hands along the sides of the mattress next to me. “Because I can, Lily. And right now, you’re as stiff as Dex’s favorite drink.”

My forehead immediately scrunched in confusion. I sat up some— onto my elbows—turning to look at him. “What do you mean you can sense other’s energies?”

He didn’t answer at first, making me think he was refusing to—or perhaps gauging how I would react to it. But then he spoke freely. “In the Outlands . . . while on my own, it was times like those when I truly found myself. My fears. My strength’s—my ability.”

“I’m sorry, your
what
?” I frowned. “Wait. So you
are
telling me you have the ability to sense other people’s energies . . .”

“Reading people is a skill Teizel taught me,” he stated frankly. “Or rather . . . taught me how to harness the ability that was already within me. I’m not really sure which. He did say it was a form of Synesthesia. That my brain perceives information from all my senses and cross-wires them together. I can taste color, smell sounds for instance. They all intertwine—sight, taste, smells, touch, sound—into colors, shapes, weights, temperatures. As a child it was extremely confusing. With Teizel’s help, it sharpened into something I could better understand. Unraveling from a knotted rope into a map before my eyes.” A beat passed before he spoke again. “What I do know is that I finally realized its worth after being on my own out there. It kept me alive more times than I can count.”

“Teizel taught you how to read the energy of others in the Outlands? Where there is hardly anyone else?” I asked skeptically, turning my wounded cheek slightly to look at him.

Xander stared at me with the same look of respect he had when I would get a sufficient jab through his defenses during training. He smiled slightly. “All things are comprised of energy. You, me, the trees, the earth, animals. Teizel made me learn how to connect with each and read the subtleties between them. Believe me, once you can read a tree’s interwoven energy, reading people is essentially a piece of cake.”

“That’s . . . wait, I’m—I’m so confused.” It felt as though I wasn’t grasping
anything
he was telling me.

Xander returned his hands to hover just above the small of my back, the action making me forget my thoughts momentarily.

“So when you walk into a room full of people . . .” I began hesitantly, hoping he would finish for me.

“I can sense their emotions through their energy. Like I said—colors, weights, temperatures, smells—though sensing emotions through color is my strongest trait. I know who to stay away from, who to keep my eye on, and who to attack first should the need arise—even when their faces do not betray them.”

Wait. He not only senses energy . . . but emotions?

I shot up, turning around fully and suddenly finding myself very perturbed. “So that’s why you’re always so . . . so sneaky! That’s why you always look at things like they have hidden meanings. It’s why you look at me sometimes and . . . and never respond. Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“I’m telling you now.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, this doesn’t count.” It did. But still, he should’ve told me earlier.

Xander stepped away from the bed and frowned. “What would you have preferred? Introduce myself—oh I don’t know, like some sort of psycho?” His voice rose in pitch. “Greetings, I’m Xander and judging by the spiked, dark-red and burnished luminescence that surrounds you, I’d say you’re slightly aggravated. It’s been a pleasure.”

Reaching down, I pulled the covers over me, up to my chin.

“No . . . it’s just that you hid the fact that the necklace was a bomb from me, of the plans you may have had to kill my father, and now
this
? What other secrets are you keeping from me?”

Xander sighed through his nose. His voice lowered to its normal gravelly tone. “I didn’t tell you about the necklace because I didn’t know you still kept it. About the plans I had for your father—it was stupid and selfish. And my Sense . . . it’s something I do not tell anyone about. Not even Dex.”

“So what
color
are you sensing from me now? Huh?” I shot out, testing him.

“Burnished dark-red with spiked edges,” he said bluntly.

I looked away.

Xander approached and sat at the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping behind me. “I do not need my Sense to know that you’re embarrassed,” he said softly. “Lily, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I wouldn’t—” He placed his hand lightly on my shoulder, urging me to face him.

“Don’t,” I said sharply.

Xander dropped his hand, the mattress rising as he backed away. “What did you expect?” he asked quietly. “Having this makes me an Abnormal. Would
you
tell anyone?”

Rubbing my chilled hands down my arms, I thought of the uncertain terror I’d felt that night in the Outlands when my episode had transformed itself into something more, something indeed abnormal—I turned to face him.