The Love Laws (31 page)

Jamie
rolled her eyes. “Clay. You know why. I’ve got too much going on right now to
even think about getting involved. Especially with someone like him.”

He
made a ‘tsk, tsk’ sound and gave her a sympathetic look. “Oh. I get it. The sex
was bad. That would explain why you hightailed it. Hetero sex isn’t really my
thing but maybe I can help. Feel free to describe everything in detail. Draw a
picture if necessary. And I’ll give you my expert’s opinion on where you two
kids went wrong.”

“I
am not drawing you a picture of his equipment, you perv.” She slapped his tight
mid-section. “And the sex was fantastic. I tried to sabotage it so he would
lose interest but he wouldn’t allow it. He just took over and I loved it.
Really loved it. So much it was almost scary.”

Jamie
blushed as she recalled just how much pleasure she had found in Kevin’s arms.
She thought she was too emotionally drained to feel anything at this point
today but reflecting on him and the back seat of that car still had the power
to arouse her. She sincerely hoped Clay wouldn’t notice her suddenly very erect
nipples.

Clay
studied her for a long moment, lingering much too long on her chest region. “I
don’t see the problem. Unless it’s your questionable sanity. Because I’m
definitely starting to question that. Who in their right mind sabotages sex?
Especially when you’ve been dating your vibrator steadily for almost two
years.”

Jamie
slapped his arm this time. “I told you. I thought if I gave in and had sex with
him he’d lose interest. And it worked because I haven’t heard from him in
almost two weeks.”

“Wait
a second. This happened when he followed you out to White Rock, didn’t it?”

She
nodded.

“I
knew it. You minx. You totally lied about meeting up with him. I feel so
betrayed.” He pinched her thigh in retribution, causing her to retaliate with a
poke to his shoulder.

“Ouch.”
He cried and moved as far away from her as the chaise would allow. “And you
haven’t heard from him since? That’s why you’re pissed off, isn’t it? You
expected him to keep chasing you? Oh girl. That ego of yours is going to make
you a permanent resident of spinster-city. You know that, right?” He shook his
head in disgust.

Jamie
turned sideways and stretched her feet out on the chaise until her heels were
pressed against Clay’s finely pressed trousers. She sighed with contentment as
he yanked off her pumps, pulled her feet into his lap and began massaging her
insteps. “Well. He also sent his new fiancé here to buy lingerie. That’s kind
of what caused me to go all poison pen on man-whores in general. He told me he was
single and yet it turns out he’s practically engaged to this black-haired witch
who came into the store yesterday.”

“Black-haired
witch? You mean Kerry?”

Jamie
stared at him. “How did you know that? You know Kerry?”

“Just
from her profile picture. Oh. Fuck me raw. Cathy didn’t mention the whole YouTube
nightmare then?” He rubbed his smooth cheek and rolled his eyes heavenward. “Figures
she’d leave that to me.”

She
yanked her feet out of his hands. “What YouTube nightmare, Clay?”

“You’re
not going to like this.” Clay pulled out his iPhone and flipped through various
screens until he found the video he was looking for. Then he reluctantly handed
the device to Jamie with a grim look.

Jamie
watched as a familiar scene played out before her eyes. It was a short video,
poorly shot, of the last half of her interaction with Duncan’s ex-wife
yesterday. All of Kerry’s comments were edited out so Jamie looked like an
advertisement for poor customer service.

When
it was done playing she pushed the phone back at Clay and held her hands up in
disbelief. “I don’t understand. Where did this come from?”

“Well,
apparently this Kerry person posted some pretty scathing comments about you and
your store on the
Star
webpage. She also inserted a link to that video.”

“Oh
crap. I expected the comments but not this.” She leaned forward and put head in
her palms. “She had her phone in her hand the whole time I was talking to her.
I didn’t clue in. Theresa actually saw her in the dressing room trying to get
the camera to work. God. I am so stupid.” Jamie herself had an ancient
flip-phone. Clay called it The Dinosaur because he said it was practically
pre-historic. She always meant to update it but never got around to it. As a
result she wasn’t all that familiar with the many impressive features of the
more sophisticated phones. Like Kerry’s.

“No.
Not your brightest moment. But it does explain why you were so snarky to her.
You were jealous.”

“I
was not jealous. I was pissed off that he’d send her here.”

Clay’s
eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Did she say that?”

“Yes.
I thought he was trying to send me some kind of cruel message. Rub my nose in
the fact that he was already with someone else. That’s when I lost it and wrote
that article. I wanted to let him know that I didn’t give a damn if he’d moved
on or not.”

“Yeah.
Obviously you don’t care. That’s why you insulted that witch, sabotaged your Love
Guru status and alienated Cathy. Because that’s what people do when they don’t
care.”

Jamie
rubbed her temples with the fingertips of both hands like she was getting a
headache. “You’re not helping Clay. You’re making me feel worse if that’s
possible.”

“James.
I swear on a stack of lubricated condoms that I am just trying to get to the
bottom of this. Now. Think carefully. Do you really think Kevin is capable of
orchestrating something so nasty? ‘Cause I can’t really see it. I mean,
unfortunately, I don’t know him as well as you do, but he never struck me as
the vindictive type. More the laid-back, drunken surfer type crossed with a
ridiculously hot nerd.”

Jamie
paused. It did seem out of character for Kevin to do such a thing. She’d been
so blinded by jealousy and disappointment it was just possible that she’d
jumped to the wrong conclusion. “But Clay. Why else would she come here unless
Kevin mentioned it to her? There’s a hundred lingerie places in this city.”

Clay
shrugged. “I don’t know. Perhaps she reads the paper? Your designs are all over
the articles. Maybe she has some taste?” He gave a doubtful snort. “The real
question is why did she come here to trash you? She must have planned the whole
thing, otherwise why would she have started filming?”

Jamie
shrugged. “I have no idea. Clearly she was trying to goad me into making an ass
of myself.”

“But
why? And how did she know what to say to get you all worked up? Unless you
always comment on your customer’s weight like that?”

Jamie
glared at him. “Clay. You’ve been visiting me at work for years. Have I ever
reacted to a rude customer like that before?”

“Hmmm….No.
Not even when you’re PMS-ing or caffeine-deprived. You’re disgustingly friendly
and polite. I kind of hate that about you.” He took a deep slug from his own
coffee. “So, the question is, why does this Kerry-hag have it in for you? Do
you recognize her? Did you steal her lunch money in grade school or something?”

“Never
seen her before. But Duncan has. She’s his ex-wife. Theresa confirmed it
yesterday.”

Clay
nearly choked on his coffee. “Kerry? She’s that Kerry?”

Jamie
slapped him on the back. “I’m afraid so.”

“Well,
then that sort of explains it. The original Mrs. Groinhold wasn’t happy when
Jessica and Duncan got together. She was hoping to squeeze some more cash out
of Duncan. Maybe this whole thing was some kind of lame revenge thing. She saw
the pictures of you. Realized that you were Jess’ twin and decided to sabotage
your success. It makes perfect sense.”

“What?
That makes no sense at all. She may not be crazy about Jess but why take it out
on me? I’ve never even met her.”

Clay
shrugged. “I didn’t say it was sane. Just that it makes sense. She can’t do
anything to Jessica without turning Duncan into a rabid Doberman, so she’ll go
after you instead.”

“I
don’t think it’s that simple. We’re missing something.”

Clay
straightened his tie and shook his head. “Sometimes people just do mean things
for their own entertainment. Not like it matters. It’s a done deal. She’s
played her twisted little game and made you look like Satan’s Sales Associate.
Now, what are you going to do about it?”

Jamie
stared at him blankly. “Do? What do you mean, do about it? What can I do? Sue
her? I can’t afford that. Or should I just have her whacked?” Clay rolled his
eyes at this. “No really. What are my options? This isn’t a bad soap opera. I
think the best thing to do is to forget it ever happened and hope for minimal
collateral damage.” She smoothed her hand over her tightly-coiled hair, tucking
one escaped curl behind her ear. “You know, it’s weird but I actually feel like
a huge weight has been lifted. I’ve been so worried over the articles and losing
the store that it’s kind of a relief that it’s finally imploded. I don’t have
to stress anymore because the worst has already happened. In a weird way, that psycho-chick
may have done me a favor.”

Clay
gave her an incredulous look. “Seriously? This bee-yotch stole your man and
took a dump all over your store and you don’t want a little payback?”

Jamie
sighed. “No. I really don’t. But just out of curiosity, what did you have in
mind?”

“A
sex tape! Leaked on the internet. Something really degrading,” he cried,
clapping his hands with glee.

“Of
Kerry? And Kevin? No thanks. I really don’t want any part of filming that.” Her
stomach turned at just the thought of Kevin with that woman. Or anyone for that
matter.

“No.
Not them.” He said in disgust. “How would that be vengeance exactly? She’d
probably love it. No, I meant me and Kerry. I’d track her down, work my magic
and do unmentionable things to her. Then I’d make an anonymous Comment on
The
Star
’s website with a link to the video.
Quid Pro Quo
. It’s perfect.
Kevin would dump her once he found out and she’d look like a giant Ho.”

Jamie
felt a huge wave of affection well up in her chest. “Honestly? You’d do that
for me? Sleep with and humiliate Kerry?”

“Of
course. Isn’t that what friends are for? To commit unnatural acts with
strangers in the name of revenge?”

He
really was very sweet in his own bizarre way. “As much as I appreciate your
diabolical plan, I wouldn’t want Kevin to get hurt any more than he has been
already. If that hyena he’s engaged to sleeps with you then he’d be devastated
and publicly humiliated. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Clay
raised one fine eyebrow. “Oh. I get it. You don’t think I can seduce a woman.
Is that it? You doubt my manly abilities. I’ll have you know that the two women
I have been with didn’t have any complaints. In fact, I rocked their worlds.”

Jamie
held out her hands in supplication. “I’m sure they saw God, Clay. Really. You
are a stud among men.”

To
her shock and amusement he began loosening his tie. “I don’t like your
sarcastic tone,” he said, giving her a disapproving look. “Now. If I must prove
myself I will. Prepare to be mounted.”

Ten
minutes earlier Jamie thought she’d never smile again. Now she felt huge peels
of genuine laughter bubbling up in response to Clay’s less than romantic offer.
“You want to mount me?” She gasped between giggles. “Now that’s hot. Who could
resist that?”

He
sighed and began buttoning his shirt back up. “It’s not that funny. Wow. Way to
cause some shrinkage, James.”

She
slid across the lounge, reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m
sorry for laughing. You just surprised me. I really do appreciate the offer.
You are the best friend I could ever imagine and if I didn’t think it would
make things awkward I’d be thrilled to be mounted by you. I’m so lucky to have
you.” She pressed a smacking kiss against his cheek and pulled back to look
into his vivid green eyes.

He
pulled her tight again. “I would, you know. Do anything to make you feel
better. Even touch your girly parts,” he whispered against her neck. “By the
way, you scared the hell out of me earlier when you were freaking out. Promise
me you’ll never lose your shit like that again, okay?” For once Clay sounded
completely serious.

Jamie
buried her face in his shirt for a moment, savoring his closeness and obvious concern.
Their relationship wasn’t typical but she wouldn’t change a thing. Usually. She
really was the most fortunate of women to have him in her life. “I can’t really
promise that I won’t freak out anymore because I don’t know where all that came
from. I guess I’ve been trying so hard to keep my emotions in check for so long
that they finally exploded. When I saw you coming down the street I just
panicked because I thought you were going to abandon me over the whole article
thing.”

“Lack
of sex. I’m telling you. It’s not natural. You had some kind of hormonal build
up,” he said pulling back to look at her. “And just for the record, I will
never abandon you. There’s nothing you’re capable of doing that would ever make
me stop being your friend. You’re stuck with me. Life time sentence, baby.” He
held out his hand and they shook on it.