The Love Letter (16 page)

He nodded his head, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I was thinking of having that, too. There’s absolutely nothing on television worth watching anymore.”

“Not even a baseball game?” she asked with a grin.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I don’t mind.”
He didn’t know that just spending time with him was enough. It didn’t matter what they did.

Meredith took the menu from her outstretched hand. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. While you’re ordering, I’ll go dry my hair.”

He reached out and
twisted a lock of her hair around his finger. “Why bother? You look very nice as you are – sort of casual and cozy.”

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”

Meredith grinned and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Sabrina went into the bathroom and couldn’t help looking into the mirror. The image reflected back to her wasn’t reassuring; she looked about sixteen. She was still standing there when Meredith came to the door.

“The food will be here in thirty minutes. I took you at your word and found a ballgame to watch.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

As he
left the bathroom, Meredith started to whistle. She wondered why the sound of it struck such a familiar chord in her mind. She was certain she’d never heard him do so before.

When she joined him,
he was stretched out on the bed looking as relaxed as Sabrina felt nervous. She knew there was plenty of room for her to sit on the bed without the slightest chance of them being within a foot of each other, but she couldn’t work up the nerve to do it. Instead, she chose the chair by the window.

The relationship between them was fragile enough; she couldn’t take the chance that Meredith might misconstrue her motives. He’d admitt
ed to being comfortable with her; she didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this new understanding between them.

“Can you see from over there?”

She could see hi
m, and that was enough. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Do you know anything about the game?”

“A little,” she admitted with a smile. “My father took Casey and me to my cousin’s little league games.”

His attention went back to the screen, much to Sabrina’s relief. She wished the food would arrive so she would have something to do besides look at him. When the game broke to a commercial
, he glanced her way again.

“
You were cramped up in the car all day. Come over here and stretch out.”

Sabrina looked at him in alarm. “That’s okay – I’m fine right here.”

Meredith
frowned at her tone. “Are you always this suspicious of men or is it just me?” He swung his feet to the floor and came over to sit opposite her. “Surely you don’t think I would take advantage of your feelings and use them for my own amusement.”

Sabrina
shook her head. “I’m not suspicious – I’m cautious. It’s not every day I have a former professor sitting in my hotel room. This kind of situation takes getting used to.”

He chuckled.
“It happens more often than you realize. I had more female students trying to get an invitation to my apartment than I have fingers on my hands. Getting beyond the whole morality aspect, did those girls think I was foolish enough to endanger my career for an affair that wouldn’t have lasted a week? Any pleasure I might get out of it wouldn’t be worth the risk.”

“Most young
women don’t think beyond the moment nor do they consider the consequences especially where men are concerned.”

“
There was one girl who followed me to my car every day for three weeks. I thought her the most dedicated of them all. But then I had one brave enough to commit her feelings to paper and write me a love letter.”

“It wasn’t brave – I never intended you to see it.”

“How did it happen?” he asked curiously.

Sabrina grimaced.
“Do you really want to know? It’s not a pretty story.”

“Yes, I would. That is, if you don’t mind telling me.”

“Well, you can hardly think any worse of me than you do already so I suppose it won’t hurt for you to know. After I wrote the letter, I hid it inside my journal.” Sabrina wasn’t looking at him, so she didn’t see Meredith’s quick glance in her direction. “I put the journal underneath the mattress of my bed. Months later Sheila decided she wanted to sleep by the window.

“
She couldn’t wait for me to get home to make the switch. When she stripped my bed to change the sheets, she found the journal and the letter inside. After she read it, she decided it had to be a joke. I had never talked about you except to comment on how silly the female student population was to get so worked-up over a college professor. Since I’d been so ‘immune’ to you, she thought it would be funny for you to get my letter.”

Meredith shook his head, his face grim.
“I don’t understand why anyone would do that to a friend. Whether you meant the words in the letter or not, you were going to be embarrassed.”

“
Like we’ve just discussed – Sheila didn’t think about the consequences. She figured I would laugh the whole thing off. Obviously, that wasn’t my reaction. The thought of you reading those words was more than I could contemplate at the time. I was desperate, and desperate people do stupid things.”

“Very stupid, Sabrina. Didn’t you even entertain the thought that you might get caught?”

“I didn’t plan on your lecture getting cancelled. When did you find the letter?”

“
Several days after I found you in my office.”

“
When nothing happened, I assumed you never found it. Why didn’t you turn me in to campus police?”

Meredith couldn’t tell her it was because
of the pleading in a pair of amazingly lovely green eyes. Even now that explanation sounded lame. “I thought if I scared you enough, you’d never do something like that again. Once I did discover the letter, I was glad I followed my instincts.”

A knock on the door halted this conversation; their
dinner had arrived. Neither of them was inclined to return to the subject of the letter during their meal. When Sabrina tried to reimburse him for her food, he shook his head.

“Your company is payment enough. I hate eating alone.”

Why did he have to eat alone? He had Juliet. She occupied herself clearing the table. When she glanced at him again, he was watching her with a puzzled expression on his face. What was he thinking?

“
Sheila was right about one thing; I did assume the letter was a prank. I didn’t realize the truth until recently. It really shocked me. You appear so level-headed and not the type to give your heart easily.”

Sabrina
smiled sadly. “I’m normally very level-headed, and I didn’t give my heart easily. It was taken from me very unwillingly.”

Meredith felt something quiver inside him. She had used similar words in her letter.
Why was he making her talk about this? Nothing good could come out of it.

“
I’m very sorry, Sabrina. I wish things could be different, but love can’t be given where it doesn’t exist.”

“
Don’t be sorry; I have no regrets.” When he continued to look disturbed, she moved her hand across the table and patted his arm gently. “Once you’re in your house, and I’m back home, none of this will matter. You’ll continue to write great books, and I’ll do my best to teach elementary students their multiplication tables.”

Meredith was
amazed at this behavior. Sabrina was the one being rejected, yet she sought to comfort him. “Those are
my
lines, Sabrina.”

She
moved back from him. “You look so worried. I don’t want to think I’ve done anything to make you unhappy.”

This statement silenced him. Did she really mean that?
Was it possible for someone to be this selfless? How could she be so calm and composed knowing the man she loved didn’t return her feelings? Meredith realized she was speaking again.

“I think the ball game is over.
We should call it a night. You have to be up early, don’t you?”

He knew she was right;
this evening needed to end. So why was he so reluctant to leave? “Yes, I do. I won’t bother you in the morning. I’ll just meet you as we arranged on Sunday.”

“If anything changes,
let me know,” she added with a faint smile.

Sabrina didn’t follow him to the door, something that bothered him more than it should
have. Had she been afraid he would kiss her? Or had she been more afraid that he wouldn’t? As he listened to the sharp click of the door closing, he realized she hadn’t wanted to find out.

In a way, Meredith
was right. Sabrina didn’t want to force him to do something for the wrong reasons, pity amongst them. She’d seen the look on his face during their discussion of the letter. Compassion and tenderness had certainly been there, but not a trace of anything warmer.

The
evening had been an exquisite form of torment and not unlike the re-opening of an old wound that barely had time to heal. She might have gained Meredith’s understanding of her situation, but she also received another rejection of the love he had no use for.

He thought her reserved
and self-contained, but he couldn’t be more mistaken. There had been many instances over the past few weeks when she’d wanted to throw herself into his arms and beg him to take her on any terms. Behind her calm face was a soul in agony. He had no idea how difficult it was to be around him and not act on her feelings.

Getting up from the chair, she rubbed the sudden goose bumps on her arms. A wave of unhappiness swept over her
. Coming on this trip with him had been a terrible mistake. And she had been wrong about wanting him to like her. It was far worse seeing kindness in his eyes than dislike or indifference.

In the roo
m next door, Meredith was trying to forget about Sabrina and work on his book. He’d thought that getting a few questions answered would satisfy his curiosity and that would be the end of it. Things weren’t working out as he planned. The more he learned about Sabrina, the more he wanted to know.

Her
answers made him realize how little he understood her. She was deeper, more complicated and so much wiser than he’d given her credit for. This was a woman deserving of his admiration and respect. Her handling of the situation between them took courage and a level of self-control he knew he didn’t possess. How could he have been so wrong about someone?

Since the wedding was in the afternoon, Sabrina enjoyed the rare luxury of sleeping in. When she finally drifted down to the hotel dining room, it was almost noon. After a leisurely lunch, she explored the hotel she hadn’t had the time or interest to see the previous day.

A few hours later
, she was descending the elevator arrayed in her new dress ready to meet Sheila’s cousin for the car ride to the church. She’d been told to look for a woman wearing yellow. Seeing no one of that description, Sabrina took a seat beside a huge vase overflowing with green ivy and prepared to wait.

Her mouth dropped open when she
saw Meredith stride through the sliding glass doors of the hotel and approach the reception desk. She couldn’t imagine why he would be there. As she watched, the clerk handed him a key. Instead of going to the elevator, Meredith went back through the doors and out to the parking lot.

He never looked in her direction
, and Sabrina was too surprised by his appearance to attempt to speak to him. She did, however, leave her chair and glance through the arched window just in time to see Meredith get into a taxi. Where was his car? Had they not been able to fix it? And why was he getting a room key?

None of these questions were
going to be answered any time soon because at that moment, Sabrina was tapped on the shoulder. When she turned, a man dressed in a gray suit was smiling down at her.

“Are you Sabrina Collins?” When she nodded, he went on. “I’m your ride. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, I am. What happened to Cheryl?”

“She was needed at the church earlier than expected so she sent me to get you. I’m her husband, Josh.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Josh. I’m sorry you had to make another trip to the hotel.”

“No problem
; I would have had to come anyway because Cheryl forgot her phone, and she can’t seem to live without it.” He led the way to a car parked just beyond the entrance.

As Josh
drove along the crowded streets, he asked the conventional questions usual in situations where people don’t know each other. Once they reached the church, he left her just inside the vestibule. Sabrina dutifully signed the guest register and entered the sanctuary. With a relieved smile, she recognized a familiar red head in the crowd.

“Excuse me,
but is this seat taken?”

The woman turned to her in surprise. “Sabrina! I didn’t think you’d be able to make it. You’re supposed to be in Europe.”