Authors: Faith Bleasdale
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy, #Contemporary Fiction
‘Of course he can’t.’ Anne-Marie’s eyes glistened. ‘It’s going to be my best book ever.’
‘Sure it is. When you do think you’ll be writing it?’
Anne-Marie looked at Abigail. Was that impatience in her voice or had she imagined it? No, she was just being paranoid with everything that was going on.
‘Oh, very, very soon, and there’ll be no stopping me, you’ll see.’
*
‘When should we leave?’ Ed asked, as he and Lily lay in bed.
‘Where would we go?’
‘To England, or America if you prefer—I don’t mind as long as we’re together.’
‘That would be nice. What would we do?’
‘I’d find work as an accountant, and you’d get a job in publicity. Of course, we wouldn’t have as much money as I’d like...’
‘But we’d have each other.’ They giggled like love-sick teenagers. Lily made Ed feel so young.
‘We wouldn’t be that hard up.’
‘Can we leave her?’ Lily asked uncertainly.
‘Yes. Yes, we can.’ Ed scowled, and then smiled. Anne-Marie had given him a lot, materially, but he’d sacrificed everything for her. He had given up his career to mastermind hers. He’d looked after the business side of the resort and it would be down to him that it would make a healthy profit this year. But she had never once said thank you. And it was clear that she cared more about Abigail than she did him. Of course he could leave her, and he would.
‘I told the Kitchen that we were having a working dinner here,’ Ed said as he climbed out of bed and began to dress.
‘Well, we have worked,’ Lily replied coquettishly.
‘We certainly did. Come on, up you get.’
‘Do I have to?’ she asked.
He went to the bed and kissed her tenderly. ‘Yes. Now I shall go and fix us some drinks and ensure we’re looking all business-like by the time the food arrives.’
After they’d eaten, Lily led Ed back to bed.
‘You’re insatiable.’
‘Are you complaining?’
‘No. God, no.’ He didn’t want to tell her about his sex life with Anne-Marie—it didn’t seem right—but he couldn’t help thinking about it. After the first two years of marriage, she had told him that she didn’t want to sleep with him any more. She said that she needed to conserve all her passion for her books and if she had sex with him, her writing suffered. He’d been surprised and then upset, but now he was relieved. But he didn’t want Lily to have to hear about it; she didn’t need to.
‘Ed, was it ever like this with...?’ Lily asked, as if reading his mind.
‘Never, darling, never. What we have is something special. Let’s not tarnish it, eh?’
5
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To win a two-week break at The Love Resort, you must answer this question. Which famous novelist owns The Love Resort? You must also complete the tie-breaker in less than fifty words: Love Conquers All because...
Please send your answers, together with a photograph of you and your partner, and a brief profile, to PO Box 333, London W14.
*
‘The competition entries have just arrived by courier,’ Lily announced breathlessly, as Anne-Marie let her into her house. It was just after five in the evening, and Anne-Marie had been on tenterhooks all day. Lily, caught up in the excitement and under strict orders, had sprinted up to the house.
‘Fabulous. How many do we have?’
‘A thousand.’
‘Is that all?’
‘It’s a good response, particularly as it was really short notice.’ Lily tried not to feel annoyed.
‘I suppose.’ Anne-Marie looked thoughtful, and then she smiled. ‘This calls for a celebration. Lily, come in and have some champagne with Abigail and myself, and help us choose our winners.’
Lily froze in shock.
‘Come on, come in.’ Anne-Marie grabbed her arm and pulled.
‘Hi, Lily,’ Abigail barked. Lily smiled weakly. She found Abigail even scarier than her boss. With her deep voice, her curt manner and her seeming inability to smile, she was terrifying.
‘Abigail, darling, would you do the honours?’ Anne-Marie asked, as she handed Abigail a bottle. She then asked Lily to collect some glasses. The three women sat on the floor, with the competition entries at their feet as they sipped champagne and prepared to choose the winners.
‘Here’s what we’ll do. First, let’s get rid of any who are too old. Anyone over thirty can go.’ Anne-Marie looked at her pile. ‘Of course, I bloody well couldn’t specify an age, due to some sort of ridiculous political correctness. But the younger the better is the rule. Although obviously over twenty-one.’
All three of them set to work.
‘OK, I’ve discarded quite a lot,’ Lily said as her one pile became two.
‘Amazing how many people are in new relationships after forty.’ Abigail handed her pile over.
‘Terrible. It’s so, so wrong. No one in my novels starts relationships past the age of twenty-five. Right, well, that’s narrowed it down a bit,’ Anne-Marie said. ‘Lily, pour more drinks and we’ll continue.’
Lily glanced at the piles of rejections and did as she was told.
‘What now?’ she asked. She was more than a little uncomfortable with the situation. She was with her boss, the wife of her lover, and the world’s scariest woman. It was far from ideal, although looking through the entries was actually quite fun. Especially as Anne-Marie always served the best champagne, and it was certainly flowing.
‘Right, now I want to discard any couple who is unattractive.’ Anne-Marie paused and regarded the other two women. ‘I’m sure you can tell, but if in doubt, ask me.’ She began trawling through the photographs. ‘Yuk, look at this couple,’ waving a photograph. ‘I can’t believe that they could be in love. Ugly people and love don’t work. No, not at all.’ She took a long drink.
Lily felt she ought to be shocked by her boss’s outburst but she wasn’t really surprised. Instead she picked up the bottle and refilled the glasses again.
‘In my books I have rules that I follow, don’t I, Abigail?’ Anne-Marie was warming to her theme.
Lily looked at Abigail, who nodded.
‘Her characters are always good-looking unless they are the baddies,’ Abigail stated.
‘Yes, because baddies can be ugly but they never find love,’ Anne-Marie added.
‘And women don’t get drunk, and they never swear,’ Abigail said, taking another drink.
Lily didn’t know how she was supposed to react to this information so she refilled the glasses again.
‘No, they never fucking swear,’ Anne-Marie said without irony. ‘And they rarely wear trousers and always look their best for their men.’ Anne-Marie pushed her hair, which had come loose from its neat plait, off her face.
‘Men are always tall, impeccably dressed and strong,’ Abigail continued. ‘And they can drink, but not to the point of alcoholism, and they rarely swear. Or if they do they say “blast”, and words like that. Old-fashioned heroes, that’s what they are.’
Lily finally spoke. ‘Well, that’s just great.’
‘That’s not all,’ Abigail informed her.
‘It isn’t?’
‘No, her books never contain one-night stands, any kinky sex, or graphic sex, for that matter. Men always call when they say they will; women always laugh in the right places. Isn’t that right, Anne-Marie?’
‘Abigail knows. She knows my books as well as I do.’
‘That’s great. Another drink, anyone?’ Lily emptied the bottle.
*
‘Right, well, I’m done.’ Abigail downed what was left in her glass and presented her pile.
‘Me too.’ Lily, already tipsy, followed suit.
‘What do we have left?’ Anne-Marie looked at her empty glass. ‘Lily, be a dear and fetch another bottle.’
Lily stood up, wondering how much she’d drunk already, and went to get the champagne.
‘We still have quite a few candidates. Right, Lily, let’s see what you have.’
‘OK.’ Lily put a serious expression on her face. She hated to admit it but she was almost enjoying herself. ‘I have twenty couples. All young, good-looking and with the right profiles.’
‘Hmm. Abigail?’
‘I might have been more brutal. I have only ten.’ Lily could believe that.
‘Well, I’ve got nineteen. That’s nearly fifty left, and we only need three. Gosh, this is harder than I thought.’ Anne-Marie took another drink. ‘Any suggestions?’
‘I know, how about hair colour?’ Lily suggested. Was she drunk? She wasn’t sure.
‘Fantastic idea. If we have couples with the same coloured hair then great, but if not then let’s go with women. Put them into piles, redheads, brunettes and blondes. Anything else discard. I’m not having anyone with bright green hair at my resort.’
As Lily worked and saw her two companions doing the same, she thought that they were getting somewhere.
‘There are quite a few cute couples,’ Lily said.
‘We need something special, for the book,’ Abigail reminded them.
‘Yes, we want that bit extra,’ agreed Anne-Marie. ‘I know, we’ll all give them marks out of ten and the highest score wins.’
‘Ok, good plan.’ Lily held up the first couple.
‘Five,’ Abigail awarded.
‘Six,’ Anne-Marie said.
‘I think I’d give seven,’ Lily finished, writing the score down.
After an hour and another bottle of champagne, they were down to their three couples.
‘Oh my God, we’ve done it!’ Lily exclaimed, the drink having numbed her earlier terror at the situation.
‘This is fantabulous,’ Anne-Marie slurred.
‘The cast of your book,’ Abigail announced, picking up the first winners. ‘First we have Tim Hall and Thea Lawson.’ She held the photo up. ‘Tim is a twenty-four-year-old writer, and Thea is a twenty-three-year-old actress.’ Abigail’s voice was unsteady.
They were both blond. Tim’s hair flopped over his face, his blue eyes twinkled mischievously, and his smile was devastatingly sexy. Thea had shoulder-length blonde hair, grey eyes, and lips that looked sexy in a film star way.
‘Tim and Thea, our first winners.’ Anne-Marie cheered, and raised her glass. ‘Lily, the brunettes?’
‘In the brunette category I would like to present, Lee Jeffrey and Carla Clarke. Both twenty-one, newly graduated—Lee, law, Carla, English lit. And here they are!’ Lily held the photo up. Lee was traditionally handsome with very dark brown slightly curly hair, dark eyes and strong features. Carla was tall and slim with lighter brown hair, long and straight, large Bambi eyes and a shy smile.
‘And finally,’ Anne-Marie said, ‘the redhead category.’ This had been an easier choice because there weren’t many and they wouldn’t have chosen a man with red hair anyway. ‘I give you, Jimmy Dorsea and Emily Watts. Jimmy is twenty-six and owns his own business; Emily is twenty-two and works as a barmaid.’
It was obvious that Emily was the real reason for this choice. The young girl with corkscrew curls and country complexion stood out. A country maiden and her handsome squire. Jimmy had short, dark blond hair, and was tall and well-built. He was undeniably good-looking but Emily was sensational.
‘There we have it, our competition winners!’ Lily announced as she led a round of applause.
She looked at them; together they would make such a handsome group; it was clear that Anne-Marie had got the cast she’d been after. She hoped they would live up to her high expectations in real life. Lily was caught up with it all, despite herself. Tim and Thea would be the most romantic together, she decided. They would constantly be holding hands and gazing at each other. Lee and Carla would be more of a sporty, active couple, but still very in love. Emily and Jimmy would be the most passionate. She envisaged their late night walks on the beach where they would be unable to resist each other.
Anne-Marie happily downed yet another glass of champagne. ‘My story is almost ready to begin. Todd and Katie will be the main characters but these six will be the supporting cast. New love—it’s so utterly, utterly, wonderful. Oh, I’d better get some more champagne.’ She stumbled as she stood but rebalanced herself and went to the kitchen.
‘They look gorgeous,’ Abigail said. ‘Let’s hope that she gets on with the book now.’ Lily noticed her eyes darken.
‘They sure are good-looking,’ she concurred.
The door opened and Ed appeared.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Oh, Ed, darling husband,’ said Anne-Marie, reappearing with another bottle, ‘we have just chosen our competition winners.’
‘And?’
‘Come and have a look. They’re gorgeous, lovely, young, and wonderful.’
Ed moved in closer and looked at the winners. ‘What were the tie-breakers like?’ he asked.
‘What tie-breakers?’ Anne-Marie replied, before they all fell about laughing.
Ed’s presence had a sobering effect on Lily. She saw him raise an eyebrow at her, and she shrugged in response. She noticed him take in the empty champagne bottles and she felt sorry for him as confusion crossed his face. Lily felt awful; they were acting like giggly school girls, his wife, his mistress and his nemesis.
‘Come on then, let’s have a look, and I’ll read the tie-breakers.’ He picked up the first one. ‘ “Love conquers all because love can stop the unhappy storm.” Oh my God, that’s awful.’
‘Who was that?’ Lily asked, wanting to reach over and touch him.
‘Carla and Lee. Right, next. “Love conquers all because love is the sun, the moon and the stars, it makes the world go round, it makes us whole.” That is Tim and Thea.’
‘Ed, have a drink.’ He accepted.
‘OK, finally Emily and Jimmy. “Love conquers all because it turns the rain into the sun, it lives inside you and it never lets you feel cold.” ’ Lily began to laugh and Abigail and Anne-Marie joined in.
‘What the fuck is it with love and the weather?’ Abigail asked.
6
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