The Love Triangle (BWWM Romance) (20 page)

“It’s really important that I just speak to her,” I said. “I think she might be upset.”

Maybe if he understood something was wrong…

“You get yourself off my property before I call the police. If she’s upset I’ll deal with it. I don’t want to see you here ever again, or I’ll make sure you won’t be able to leave by yourself again.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Is that a threat?” I asked.

He smiled in a way that made me nervous. It was the kind of smile psychotic people wore before they did something ludicrous. “Oh no, Justin. I follow up on my promises.”

I nodded and turned away from the door. What was I going to do? I couldn’t barge into someone else’s house demanding things, and Grace had told me exactly what she wanted me to do. Go to hell, she’d said. And maybe in some way I deserved that.

But she didn’t deserve to be with Elijah. She was a grown woman and she had to make her own choices. I just couldn’t sit back and watch her do it. So I got in my truck and drove away, leaving the woman I loved behind because there was just no way she could still love me.

The bell jingled when I walked into Tam’s Stationers. Evelyn looked up and smiled, but when I came closer it faded from her eyes again.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. I looked around the store, took in the shelves of notebooks, displays of pens and pencils and school backpacks.

“How are you coping with the kids?” I asked her. She frowned, the question a bit out of the blue.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” she said. “Why?”

I rubbed my hands over my face, pushing my hat askew.

“Because I need to get out of here. I think it’s time I leave town, set up somewhere else. But I don’t want to leave if you’re not going to be okay without me.”

Her face softened, confusion replaced with concern.

“Is this about Grace?” she asked.

I sighed. “It’s always been about Grace, Even when it shouldn’t have been. And I can’t do this anymore. This town is too small for the two of us. I need to get as far away from here as I can. Find a ranch somewhere else. Maybe as far as Montana.”

“That’s the other side of the country,” she said.

I shrugged. “It’s far enough away from here. From the memories. From her. Maybe I can start over. There are ranches up there and someone’s bound to take me.”

Evelyn nodded slowly.

“If that’s what you need to do, little brother, then go ahead and do it. I can always follow you up there if I need help with the kids.” She smiled at me, and I felt like I was going to lose it. She stepped around the counter and hugged me, and I fought the urge to break down and cry into her shoulder.

“You just take care of yourself, and everything else will work itself out. And don’t be a stranger. Call. Write. Let me know that you’re still alive.”

I nodded. I had a habit of falling quiet when I was away from my family. The only reason Evelyn and I had become so close was because we’d spent so much time face to face over the last couple of years. I still had virtually no relationship with the rest of my family.

“Thanks for everything, Ev,” I said. She pulled away from me and shook her head.

“No, Justin. Thank you. Without you I wouldn’t have made it through when Graham died. I’ll be okay now. Just make sure you will be okay, too.”

I gave her one last hug, promised I would be by later to say goodbye to the kids, and then I left to wrap up my life here at Fort Atkinson. The ranch would be sad to see me go. I would be sad to leave them, too. In a way they were like family. But no amount of family could compensate for heartbreak, and I’d been the cause of my own heartbreak. Twice. It was time to put this behind me and move forward. Away from here. Away from Grace.

Chapter 19 - Grace

I opened the bathroom door and listened. The house was deadly quiet. Elijah was here somewhere, I knew it. And I didn’t know what state of mind he was in. Elijah would be drunk by now. I knew that about him. I remembered it.

It had taken me a long time to come down from my hysterics after the memories had crashed down on me. I’d managed to pull myself together, and I knew I had to get out of here. Now I just had to play it right so that nothing went wrong before I was going to leave. To escape.

I ran a finger under each eye to make sure my makeup wasn’t smudged after crying so much, but I’d already checked myself in the mirror. There was no more makeup left and my eyes were swollen, but I’d looked worse the past couple of weeks.

I took a deep breath and padded down the hallway on bare feet.

Rosa was in the kitchen, sorting through a pile of old newspapers and magazines, putting them on different piles. When I came into the kitchen she looked up and smiled. Her eyes searched my face.

“Have some tea, miss,” she said and walked around to the kettle. I sat down on the barstool at the counter and waited for her to pour it.

“Where’s Elijah?” I asked.

Rosa glanced up at me. “Mr. Wilson is in his office. He has not come out for a while.”

It wasn’t necessary to say why. I nodded.

When I spoke again my voice was a whisper so low Rosa had to lean in to hear what I was saying.

“Will you help me escape? I want to leave. Tonight.”

She shook her head. “Mr. Wilson won’t like that,” she said.

“I know. You know how he is, what he’s capable of. How long before all of this happens again?” I touched my fingers lightly to the place where the bump on my head had been.

“You remember?” she asked, her eyes widening a little. I nodded. She looked at me and I could see her piecing it together in her mind.

“I will help you, but after midnight. With how much he drinks now, he will be asleep for a while later on.”

I reached my hand out to her and she took it. I squeezed.

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“For what, child? This is not your fault. It’s never too late.”

I nodded. It wasn’t too late, not yet. It almost was, I knew I could have died. But I didn’t, and there had to be a reason for that. Rosa put my tea in front of me and I sipped the scalding liquid. If I got away I had to go somewhere Elijah wouldn’t find me. The moment he realized I was gone, he was going to be on a rampage. But I was still too nervous to drive, now more than ever. I didn’t want to be the one speeding away from him. That hadn’t worked the last time.

I had to find somewhere to hide, and then go in daylight when I could find a taxi. Or Justin. He could help me.

I’d told him off, but I’d been upset. If he could just help me get away, I could find a new life. I just needed his help, and then he could go back to whatever woman he had now.

I heard the office door open, and Rosa and I glanced at each other. Elijah came into the kitchen, and the smell of whiskey preceded him. He took three steps to me and I cringed but fought so that it wouldn’t show. He put his hands on my shoulders and kissed me on my hair.

“You’re back,” he said. “I was scared I lost you.”

“No,” I said forcing my voice to be light. “I’m here.”

He sat down next to me and took my hand, looking into my eyes. His eyes were watery and bloodshot, and his short hair somehow looked disheveled even though it was technically too short. His tie was askew and there was a stain on his blazer. But he smiled at me and I forced myself to smile in return. I knew how this worked.

If I fought him, he would fight back. Harder. And he would hurt me. If I played along everything would be okay. I would survive long enough to get out of here.

“Supper should be ready at six,” he said. “Let’s get out of the kitchen so that the cook can do her thing. I’m going to head on up and take a shower.”

I nodded and he left, trailing his hand up my arm, across my neck to the other shoulder before his fingertips left my skin. I shivered. I slid off the barstool, waiting a moment before I walked down the hall too.

In my room I found a suitcase and started packing. It wasn’t a big suitcase and I wasn’t going to take everything with me. Just enough.

I knew what I looked like. I was one of those battered housewives now. And I was going to run away with just the bare minimum. But it had come down to that, and I had to get out of here.

I packed enough clothes for a week, makeup, shoes. I made sure I had my wallet with all the cards. It was all still mine. My account and all the money I had in it. After I was gone he couldn’t stop any cards of mine. The worst he could do was trash my reputation so that it was hard to find a job. But there were worse things.

Like him coming after me. I shuddered when I thought about it, but I had to stay positive.

I zipped up the bag and shoved it under my bed, and got dressed for supper. I wore a red dress with a low neckline and a slit that went up to my thigh. Elijah liked it when we dressed up for supper. I was going to do it all. I put on my makeup, smoky eyes and red lips, and I put on the golden necklace he’d gotten me that I’d woken up with in the hospital. I looked in the mirror.

I looked good. I looked like someone I’d never wanted to be.

“Sweetheart?” His voice came from the door.

“I’m ready,” I said. I folded jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket under my bed as well. I glanced at my running shoes and left the room.

Elijah was wearing a clean suit and he smelled like soap and aftershave. But I could still smell the whiskey hanging between us, and I fought the urge to crinkle my nose. He looked me up and down and smiled.

“You look beautiful,” he said. “I’ve always loved red on you.” He looked at me. “I’m sorry,” he added. He put his hands on my cheeks and I felt trapped. I forced a smile. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”

I nodded slightly. Maybe the amnesiac Grace would have believed that. But I remembered. I remembered it all, and Elijah was lying through his teeth to get me to love him again. Everything he’d done since the moment I’d woken up in the hospital was to make up for what he’d done to me, to never let me know what had happened. To make me think nothing like that could ever happen. 

He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, leaning in for a kiss. Whiskey wafted over me and I held my breath, steeling myself against the kiss. He pressed his lips against mine, harder than was comfortable, but I didn’t complain.

He was still drunk. A hot shower did nothing for alcohol in the blood.

I kissed him back so he wouldn’t ask questions. When he let me go, a silly grin was plastered across his face. He took my hand and led me down the hallway toward the dining room.

He’d probably meant it in a romantic way, us holding hands on the way to supper. But it felt to me like he was holding on to me so that I couldn’t get away.

Everything I’d wondered about since I’d come from the hospital suddenly fell into place. His statement that it didn’t matter if I didn’t remember, that we could start over. Start over. It would have been easier for him that way. Convenient if his worst sins could just be forgotten.

We sat down and dished up from the silver dishes in the middle of the table. It was lamb stew with white rice and vegetables. I took a bite and Elijah kept commenting how delicious it was, but I couldn’t taste it. My throat was tight from nerves and I struggled to swallow. The food turned to sand in my mouth and I swallowed hard to get every bite down.

“I was thinking we should get away for a while,” Elijah said. “Just you and me, leave all of this behind and just escape for a bit.”

There was no way I was going to go anywhere with him. Not alone. Not even with people.

“That sounds nice,” I said, keeping my eyes carefully on my food. “Where were you thinking to go?”

“The Bahamas. We haven’t had a good holiday in a long time and I think there’s just been too much tension around here lately.”

Oh, I agreed.

“Maybe next week? I’ll make sure the company is ready for a leave of absence.”

I nodded. I wasn’t going to be here next week. He could plan all he wanted.

“Yes,” he confirmed to himself. “That’s exactly what we need.”

The rest of supper was filled with trivial small talk. I was careful to sound cheerful and agreeable all the time, and Elijah talked a lot. I knew he became talkative when he drank. It was easier to hide things when I didn’t need to do much talking.