The Low Notes (23 page)

“
Oh, hello,” he said faintly. Nina smiled and entered the classroom sitting her overweight bag on the floor.

“
Hi. I need James Dalton’s homework.”

Nina felt stupid. She practiced what she'd say to him a thousand times during the day but what came out still made her feel like an idiot.

Kevin mussed with folders and gathered up a stack for her then hesitantly reached out to her with the assignments. She reached for them slowly. She wanted to brush his hand, to barely touch his fingertip, but she couldn’t. Nina felt her guard slipping as she got near him so she grabbed the papers, said thank you and turned to leave.

“
Nina?”

Her feet stopped and planted hard into the floor when she heard him say her name. She solidified her walls of security before turning back to him. At least she thought she had.

“
I feel like we have things to talk about,” he said.

She almost felt a laugh coming on.
No shit
, she thought. Her lips pursed and she didn’t respond to his ridiculous observation.

“
Do you
want
to talk to me?” he asked.

Yes,
she thought.
I want to scream at you until you understand what a fool you are for what you’ve done. I know you love me, Kevin.

Her eyes lowered to the floor. “What do you want me to say Kevin?” she asked quietly. They stood frozen, their story hanging in the air between them, keeping them apart.

“
Just tell me you don’t hate me.”

“
You know I don’t,” she replied, the words forced.

He nodded absently. “Right.”

She could tell he couldn’t reach deep enough for the words or the courage. He was holding back.

Nina pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and turned to leave, having nothing else to say. Reaching the door, she heard a noise behind hermit felt like she'd been hit with a live wire, her skin burned as he placed a hand on her shoulder and twirled her back around to face him, a little too close.

His deep voice crept out in a whisper. “I got scared. Firsts are...a big deal.”

She sighed loudly. How was it possible for him to be so clueless? Just like before, it was obvious he was stuck on sex. Nina wanted to scream. He was stuck on the fact he might have taken her innocence. Nothing would've made her happier but instead she would have two memories forever. Losing her virginity to Todd before he skipped town without so much as a phone call afterward and feeling ready for Kevin, the man she loved only to have him deny her.

“
It wouldn't have been,” she sighed. Nina’s heart was heavy and she barricaded herself in silence, building the walls back up. She turned on her heels one last time and walked out into the hall, leaving Kevin alone in B100 just like old times.

Chapter Fifty-One

Nina dropped off James’s homework but neglected to tell him about the conversation she had with Kevin. She didn’t need James treating her like a child. Her plans for the evening were rather lackluster; homework, a little TV then sleep. Anything to keep her mind from wandering.

Walking up the stairs, Nina saw a light coming from her room. She figured Greta left the light on after stealing an outfit. As she moved closer slowly, she convinced herself that was all it was. Then she saw a figure move through her room, putting a shadow on the hallway wall. Nina stormed in the room with her calculus book raised high above her head, ready to smash the intruder in the face. Then she recognized him.

“
Honestly Nina, a math book?” Todd said with a laugh. Her arms lowered as she rolled her eyes.

“
What are you doing in here?” she asked.

His turned from her and back to the mirror on the closet door. He was thumbing at one of the photographs Nina had stuck in the mirror’s frame. An absent smile formed on his face as he looked at it for a silent moment then glanced back at Nina.

“
You remember this? Prom last year? I like that you have this up,” his voice had a dreaminess to it Nina hadn’t heard in a long time.

“
Yeah, it’s a great picture of me,” she sneered. “What are you doing here?”

Todd laughed and waltzed further into her room as if he were welcome. “Greta let me in. I thought maybe we could hang out. It’s been awhile.”

Indeed it had been awhile. Nina had been successfully avoiding Todd since he’d arrived back in Wexley Falls. A few conversations, a few lunches together at school but that was all. They hadn’t even talked about the message he left her on Christmas, the one Nina hadn't only deleted but hadn’t replied to. She knew what Todd would try to do. She knew if she gave him an inch, he would take a mile. Nina saw Todd flirting with other girls around school and wasn’t surprised he was making moves while still trying to get back on her good side. Todd always believed he could get whatever he wanted.

“
I have things to do. I’m not in the mood for company,” she huffed, putting her bag down on the bed.

Brazenly, Todd took a seat on the edge of Nina’s bed.

“
You seem different this year. Sad.”

“
How would you know?” she snapped.

“
Come on Nina, I know you. I know when there’s something wrong.”

“
Correction, Todd. You
knew
me. And probably not as well as you think.”

His mouth turned up on one side, a remorseful smile. Nina immediately felt bad for snapping at him, seeing his eyes lower to the floor. Her heart tightened. Was he playing her? She’d been fooled by him before and yet a twinge of guilt pooled within her as she looked at his sad eyes. Nina sighed and took a seat next to him on the bed staying quiet for a moment.

“
I’m in a lot of those pictures. I guess we had some good times. How come we don’t talk anymore?” he whispered, looking over at Nina.

“
Because you hurt me. You left and I grew up.”

Todd’s hand moved and Nina felt her stomach twist, hoping he wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want him to.

“
I was a fool for leaving you.”

He leaned in close and Nina saw him shut his eyes. She drew in a sharp breath and pulled back before Todd could press his lips to hers. He must have sensed her draw back because Todd’s eyes flashed open and looked at the bewilderment on Nina’s face.

“
Todd, I...I think we should go downstairs.” Nina offered.

He smiled, visibly embarrassed and nodded quickly. “Sounds like a plan.”

They stood up and Nina’s stomach twisted in knots, the thought of Todd trying to kiss her lingering. What surprised Nina most of all was how it made her long for Kevin. A kiss with anyone else, especially Todd, would never be the same after kissing Kevin. Her mind was swimming too fast. Just when she thought she'd be able to keep her thoughts clear of Kevin, he’d crept back in to ruin another night.

Chapter Fifty-Two

He tried to keep her from his mind. He tried to keep reminding himself of the way he wanted to think. A relationship with Nina was wrong and too complicated to ever work out in the best interest for either of them. He forced himself to repeat it over and over in his head like some sort of self-deprecating mantra.
It’s wrong. It’s dangerous. You’ll break her heart.
That last bit always made him cringe for he feared he already had.

But Kevin’s mind, no matter how hard he tried to train it, had plans of its own. He dreamed of her regularly and in those dreams he knew the perfect thing to say to make it all better.

When Kevin thought of her, even for an instant, the L word burned in big, glowing red block letters behind his eyelids. He'd try to shake the words out of his head and repeat his mantra again with no luck. Nina was a part of him and he couldn’t get rid of her.

There was another reason he couldn’t stop thinking of Nina. She was everywhere. If she wasn’t in the hallway, her hips swaying as she walked to class, she was by her locker, primping in the mirror or staring off into space. She was in the lunchroom, at the same table every day. She was in the parking lot singing to herself as she opened the passenger door to throw her bag carelessly inside.

The bell rang and he looked around his classroom suddenly realizing the boys significantly outnumbered the girls in his second period class.
Weird
, he thought. Then, his thoughts took a turn. As he handed out the test he remembered what Nina said the last time they talked and he started scanning over each boy in his class. If he could’ve he would have lined up each boy at Wexley Falls High School, but for now his classes would do. None of them particularly stood out to him. He ruled out a handful of them quickly due to their severe awkwardness, a dead giveaway they were still virgins. Watching from his desk as they filled out their answers, Kevin made mental case files for the few candidates he’d picked.

Ryan Palmer, tall, dark hair, baseball player. The baseball team had taken the state championship last year making him pretty popular. Ryan dated Lucy French now but Kevin wasn’t sure how long they’d been together, not that it mattered. High school boys were notorious for being unfaithful.

Next was Mike Christensen, sandy brown hair, kind of short, horrible grades, drummer for the school’s most popular garage band. Nina liked music, maybe she liked musicians, too. Mike had a way about him that let everyone know he was a hot shot. He had the ‘gotta-get-out-of-this-town’ attitude, a sentiment Nina shared.

Nick Fields, choir boy. Kevin had seen Nina and Nick walking together in the halls, eating lunch together and of course they were both involved in the infamous Senior Concert. Kevin thought Nick was a good kid, not one to take a girl for granted, maybe even be a good boyfriend. He didn’t like thinking about it.

Kevin sat up straight when the bell rang and students were suddenly handing in their tests.
So much for cracking the case
, he thought. Kevin hopped out to the hallway to the drinking fountain and felt a shiver up his spine when he heard her laugh. He whipped his head around to see her, swallowing the cool water slowly.

Nina was in a yellow cardigan sweater and dark blue jeans with gold threading on the back pockets. Her hair was hanging down straight but it swayed as she giggled. He slid past her, back through his classroom door and turned to glance at her again. She saw him and her eyes went panicky. Then the boy in front of her, the one she’d been walking with, the one she was laughing with, took her hand for a moment. Kevin’s breath caught as he watched the exchange and Nina looked over the boy’s shoulder at him.

The boy dropped her hand and she smiled before walking away, giving a meaningful glance at Kevin when she did. Sitting down at his desk, getting ready for the next class to take the test, he waited for the boy to sit down then he looked at him.

He was retaking the one semester class due to his late admittance last semester.

Todd Dawson; tall, tan, blonde, no sports, no clubs, no activities, moderate grades. He was a good friend of her family and clearly, Nina’s first.

Chapter Fifty-Three

March

“
Tell me again why we're going to this?” Nina asked as she secured the clasp of her necklace and fixed her hair around it. James was smoothing the front of his navy blue button down shirt and picking the tiniest bits of lint off of his jeans.

“
Just like what I said about the football games. You and I are going to have the ultimate senior year experience. Even if I have to force you.”

Nina let out a huff of a laugh and shook her head. She didn't need to be forced. High school parties weren't necessarily her thing but she wasn't opposed to it tonight for some reason. It was time she started acting like a seventeen year old.
Live a little
, she thought.

“
Plus, it will only help us in the popularity department and I'd like to be a little higher on the list by prom,” James said, eyeing her.

“
Please, we are by far the coolest people in our class and you know it,” Nina teased. She slicked on some lip gloss and sprayed herself with perfume.

“
Well of course
I
know it, darling, but we've just got to show the others,” James said in his best, overly dramatic stage voice. He was sharing the mirror with her now, grinning at her. They primped a little longer and finally they were ready.

“
You look...fantastic,” James said, looking his friend up and down. Nina was in black leggings and a dark gray sweater that came down off both her shoulders. The slinky fabric hugged her curves and her bare shoulders showed only the perfect amount of skin.

“
I'll drive. You look like you could use a drink,” James said, only half kidding. They got in James' car and headed to the party.

Hannah Bruckheimer was one of the most popular girls in school. She was gorgeous and funny and involved in just about every school activity from cheerleading to choir to student council. She was the real All-American girl. Nina always had the sense Hannah didn't like her but it wasn't stopping her tonight. Everyone knew Hannah's parties were open invitation. Nina was never quite sure how she managed to get her parents out of the house so often to have her bashes but she always did and they never got busted.