The M Word (5 page)

Better devil she didn't know, than the one
she did.

She quickly donned a short navy knit dress
with three quarter length sleeves and a bateau neckline. Sandals
and chunky white earrings and necklace completed the look.

Marius smiled when he saw her. “You look
lovely.”

Brenda returned the smile. She could get used
to his calm appreciation. There was no hint of ulterior motives in
his tone. When most men complimented her, they were just trying to
get her in the sack, but Marius sounded sincere.

Then her conscience smote her. “There’s one
more thing I forgot to tell you. And if it’s a deal breaker, I’ll
understand.”

Without another word, she pulled her wig off,
exposing her fuzzy shorn scalp.

Marius gasped. “You’ve been ill?”

The look on his face was so tender, all her
doubts fled. She was making the right choice to marry him. “No,”
she said quickly. “I don’t have cancer. I’m completely healthy. I
just got upset one day and cut it all off.”

“Then I will try not to upset you.”

She was amused by his serious tone. “It will
grow back.”

“Good.”

“So you still agree to marry me?”

“Yes.” He reached out to touch her temple,
his fingers gliding feather soft above her ear.

The gesture startled her, but she forced
herself to stand still. She’d just asked him to marry her, so she’d
better not flinch when he touched her.

He said earnestly, “You are beautiful, even
without your hair. It emphasizes your eyes.”

She noticed that his eyes were a warm
hazel.

“Thank you.” His hand dropped down to his
side and she held up the wig. “Should I put it back on or not?”

Marius said, “That’s completely your
decision.”

Good answer. Steven would never have agreed
to take a bald woman out to dinner. And personally, she didn’t want
to go outside without the wig, herself. She didn’t like the way
people stared. But it was nice to know that Marius would support
her decision either way.

She went back to her bedroom to adjust the
wig. When she returned, Marius said, “Before we go, I have two
things to tell you as well. They may also be what you call
deal-breakers.”

Brenda braced herself. All this honesty was
emotionally draining. “Okay.”

“I sing.”

She waited, but he didn’t say anything more.
“That’s it? I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“No, you don’t understand. I sing a lot. You
know the saying that some people live to eat? Well, I live to sing.
I sing when I work, when I take a shower, when I cook. And I sing
in the evenings, too, before I sleep.”

This was something she’d never considered.
“How much time do you sing each day?”

“On average, at least two hours, sometimes
more.”

It was quirky, but she could deal with it,
unless he sounded atrocious. “How good are you? Should I buy
earplugs?”

He walked over to her piano and sat down at
the bench. “You decide. What do you want to hear?”

She followed him and stood, looking down at
him. “It doesn't matter. Whatever you want.”

He played a brief introduction, then started
singing. “Un di felice, eterea, Mi balanaste innante ...”

Brenda was astonished. His voice was rich and
powerful and seemed to flood her small living room. He sang for a
minute or two. When he stopped, she said, “I don't know much about
opera, but that was amazing. What was that from?”

“
La Traviata
.”

“Italian, right?”

“Yes.”

“What did it mean?”

“The hero, Alfredo is declaring his love for
Violetta. He saw her once, a year earlier, and has loved her
passionately ever since. As he tells her, 'You were so radiant, so
heavenly, like an angelic vision, and from that day I loved you,
Loving as never before.'“

For a moment, it felt as if Marius was
talking to her. Brenda felt her face flush.

He said lightly, “Opera tends to be very
dramatic. My favorite lines are at the end.” He sang again, “Dell
universo intero, misterioso, altero, croce e delizia al cor.”

After he finished, there was an awkward
silence. “It's very pretty,” Brenda said. She knew her words were
inadequate. She didn't have the vocabulary to describe the way the
music made her feel. The song was full of passion and longing. It
was overwhelming.

“It means that love is a mysterious power,
bringing pain and delight to the heart.”

Right now, all she knew was the pain part.
For a moment she watched him, watching her. Waiting. How would it
feel to have someone love her like that?

“Can you live with my singing?”

This was a make- or break-it item, she could
hear it in his voice. If she said no, they wouldn't get married. If
she wanted a way out, this was her chance.

But she didn't want a way out. She needed
him, just as much as he needed her. “Yes,” she said finally, then
smiled wryly. “I have a feeling living with you is going to be an
education.”

Marius laughed. “Not too painful, I hope. I
promise no essay tests.”

She smiled and picked up her purse, placing
the strap over her shoulder. “And what’s the other thing? You said
there were two things.”

He nodded. “I don’t believe in divorce.”

Brenda’s eyes widened. This was it, then.
They were both fully committed. She said, “Okay, let’s do it.”

CHAPTER FOUR

The next day, Brenda called her parents. She
talked to her mom briefly for a few minutes, then asked, “What are
you doing on the fourth of July?”

“Just the usual -- flag ceremony and
patriotic breakfast at church, and then the family barbecue at
night.” Her mother’s voice brightened. “Why? Have you and Steven
changed your plans?”

“Yes,” Brenda said slowly. Her mother still
thought that she and Steven were going on a vacation to Hawaii for
two weeks. Brenda hadn’t told her that she had broken up with him,
because she had wanted to make sure it would last. She knew her
family must be weary of her rollercoaster love life.

“That’s great. Then we’ll see you at the
barbecue.”

“Yes, I’d like to come, but not with Steven.
I’d like to bring someone else.”

Her mother was quiet for a moment, processing
this information. “Another man?” she asked.

“His name is Marius.”

Her mother asked, “Someone from work?”

“No.”

“What happened? Have you dumped Steven or did
he dump you or am I completely not understanding this
situation?”

“No, you’re right. I dumped him.” That was
one good thing about her family. No one sugar-coated anything.

“Too bad you couldn’t have waited until after
the trip to Hawaii,” her mother said cynically, then added, “No,
I’m sure you know what you’re doing. I guess I should have seen
this coming, when you moved out of his condo.” Her mother’s voice
softened, “But you’re okay with it?”

Trying to be
. “Yes.”

“Well then, I look forward to meeting your
new friend -- what is his name again?”

“Marius. Marius Jaworski.”

Her mother laughed. “That’s a mouthful.”

It was. Brenda didn’t particularly want to
change her name on all her records, but if she didn’t, it might
look suspicious to the government, and the last thing she wanted
was USCIS on her doorstep. “And I’d like to ask a favor, too.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Since most of the family will be at the
house on the fourth, anyway, Marius and I thought it would be a
convenient time to get married. If that’s all right with you.”

“WHAT?” her mother screamed.

Brenda held the phone a little farther away
from her ear. “You don’t have to do anything special,” she assured
her mother, “We want to keep it casual. I’ll arrange for the
justice of the peace and buy some more food.”

“Brenda Lee Williamson,” her mother said
firmly, and Brenda knew she was in trouble. She never heard her
middle name unless she was in trouble. “What the hell are you
doing?”

#

After her parents, the next person to tell
was Kelly. Brenda dreaded it. It had been difficult enough to
convince her parents that she wanted to marry a man they’d never
met, and Kelly knew her better than they did. Brenda wasn’t sure
she could carry it off.

But she had to.

She waited a few days, then called and asked
if she could drop by. “Sure,” Kelly said. “But be warned: the house
is a mess. We’re still moving in and getting settled.”

Brenda had a feeling that Kelly’s definition
of a mess and hers were two different things. Even though her house
was only half a mile from Kelly’s studio, they usually met at the
studio rather than at her place. Kelly had been so busy with her
own wedding preparations lately, she didn’t know how bad Brenda’s
house looked.

Brenda was surprised, when she arrived at
Kelly’s grand three-story house, which was in a much better
neighborhood, to discover that Lars wasn’t home. Kelly said he was
working late.

Brenda wondered. Was Kelly as happy in her
marriage as she seemed to be? She looked pale.

But then again, she was pregnant and had said
she was tired, so perhaps that was the problem. Brenda didn’t want
to jump to conclusions.

She decided to make their conversation quick
and let Kelly get the rest she needed.

They sat in Kelly’s beautifully decorated
kitchen and she told her the basics. She was getting married. Not
to Steven, hallelujah, but to Marius, one of the bank customers, on
the fourth of July.

Kelly was stunned. “So soon?”

Brenda made a joke, reminding Kelly that she
had gotten married in a whirlwind herself.

“You’re right,” Kelly admitted.

“And I would like you to be my maid -- I
mean, Matron of Honor.”

“I’d be delighted.”

“I promise you won’t have to wear pink
satin.”

“That was my mother’s choice, not mine,”
Kelly reminded, then looked at Brenda closely. “Do you love him?”
she asked in a serious voice.

Brenda hesitated. This was what she’d been
dreading. She didn’t want to lie to Kelly, but she didn’t dare tell
her the whole truth.

“Yes, I do,” she said finally. She justified
her answer by mentally adding,
I love him as I love and
appreciate every other honest, good man. I love the fact that he’s
not Steven.

Kelly looked at her thoughtfully, then
smiled. “Alright,” she said in a lighter tone. “Tell me something
wonderful about him.”

“He sings love songs to me.” Technically,
that was true.

Kelly nodded her approval. “Is he cute?”

Brenda shook her head. “Not really. He’s more
rugged looking than cute. He’s got a beard.”

Kelly raised her eyebrows. “I’ve never kissed
a man with a beard. What’s it like?”

I don’t know
. “Bristly.”

“Is he taller than you?”

Kelly knew how important that had always been
to her. “Yes.”

Kelly said, “Wow. I can’t wait to meet him.
This is going to be exciting. What can I do to help?”

“I’d like you to help me pick out my wedding
dress.”

Kelly beamed. “That will be fun. When do you
want to go shopping?”

“I’m not buying a new dress,” Brenda said.
“No offense, but I don’t think it’s worth it to spend a lot of
money on something I’m only going to wear a few hours.”

“You’re probably right. Are you going to rent
a dress?”

“No. Our wedding is going to be very casual.
It’s going to be in my parents’ backyard, behind the pool. What I’d
like, is for you to help me go through my closet and pick out the
dress you like best.”

“Are you sure?” Kelly questioned. “You don’t
really want to get married in black, do you?”

Now that she thought of it, most of her
dressier evening clothes were black. Steven had liked her best in
black.

She bit her lip, considering. She didn’t want
to wear anything that reminded her of Steven, and given their
history, it would be difficult to find anything in her closet that
she hadn’t worn with him.

“I know!” Kelly exclaimed suddenly. “You can
wear my dress.”

“Fat chance. It wouldn’t fit. I am four
inches taller than you.”

“My mother’s seamstress can add a tuck or
something on the bottom.”

Brenda said, “No. Your dress was beautiful on
you, but it would make me look like a barn. I don’t do well with
poufy skirts.”

“I’m sure she can streamline it, take out the
netting.” Kelly found a notebook in a kitchen drawer and started
sketching. In less than minute, she’d drawn a silhouette of her
wedding dress. “Look, if we get rid of the train, there’s enough
fabric to add some to the length.” With a few quick strokes of her
pencil, she added Brenda’s shoulders and her head in profile to the
drawing. As always, Brenda was amazed by her artistic
abilities.

“We can slim the skirt.” She glanced up at
her. “Do you want to add sleeves?”

Brenda had to admit that she was tempted.
“You can’t just give me your ten thousand dollar dress.”

“Why not?” Kelly asked. “I’m not going to
wear it again, and we took dozens of pictures. Besides, it’s no
longer a ten thousand dollar dress. It’s now a recycled dress.”

That appealed to Brenda’s frugal nature. “But
if you alter it, it’s practically making a brand new dress.”

“It will be my wedding present to you,” Kelly
countered.

Brenda let her breath out slowly. She
supposed that inside, nearly every woman wanted to have a beautiful
dress like Cinderella going to the ball. She was no different, even
though it flew in the face of her I-don’t-want-any-fuss principles.
“Do you think there’s enough time to have it altered?”

Kelly laughed, knowing that she had persuaded
her. “What have you got -- two weeks? No problem. Plenty of
time.”

#

Brenda drove to Marius’ apartment to pick him
up. She was working the Saturday before their wedding, and with his
school schedule, it was best for him to move in with her on a
weeknight before the end of the month. Brenda had asked him if they
needed to borrow or rent a truck, but he said no, all his
belongings could fit in her car -- a conservative, ten year old
sedan.