The Madness Of Lord Ian Mackenzie (35 page)

“I am not a madman,” Fellows returned. “There is only one madman in this room,
my lord.”

“All of us are mad in some way,” Ian said. “I have a memory that won’t let go of details. Hart is obsessed with politics and money. Cameron is a genius with horses, and Mac paints like a god. You find out details on your cases that others miss. You are obsessed with justice and getting everything you think is coming to you. We all have our madness. Mine is just the most obvious.”

Everyone in the room stared at Ian, including Beth. Their scrutiny made him uncomfortable, so he buried his face in Beth’s hair.

After a silence, Mac said, “Proof we should always listen to the wisdom of Ian.”

Fellows made an impatient noise. “So we’re one big, happy family now? Will you broadcast it to the newspapers, lord it over me, make me a charity case? Long-lost son of a duke embraced? No, thank you.”

Hart chose a cheroot, then struck a match and lit it. “No. The newspapers don’t know what really goes on in our private lives, because they’re too interested in what we do in public. But if you are family, we take care of our own.”

“Are you going to buy me off then? When I should have had your upbringing and your money, you’re going to dangle a bit of luxury before me to keep me quiet?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Inspector,” Beth snapped. “If their father did wrong by you, they want to make it up to you. They won’t offer false affection, but they’ll at least try to do the right thing.”

“We hate our father far more than you ever could,” Mac put in. “He abandoned you.
We
had to live with him.”

“It’s their father you want to hurt,” Beth said. “I don’t much blame you. I’d like to have fifteen minutes alone with him, myself.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Cameron said. He also moved to the humidor. “Trust me.”

“He’s dead and gone, where he can’t hurt anyone again,” Beth said. “Why carry on his legacy?”

“You’re trying to wrap me around your finger, my lady. You’ve thrown in your lot with
them.
Why should I thank you?”

Ian lifted his head again. “Because she’s right. Our father is dead and gone. He caused us all misery, and we shouldn’t keep letting him do it. Beth and I will have another marriage ceremony at my house in Scotland in a few weeks. We will all gather there and be finished with our father from that time on.”

Beth looked at him with shining eyes. “Do you understand how much I love you, Ian Mackenzie?”

Ian had no idea why this was relevant, and he didn’t answer. Everyone else started talking at once. Ian ignored them, anchoring himself with Beth. He wanted so much to leave her alone, to not hurt her, but the warmth and scent of her drove out everything else. He needed her.

“Bloody hell,” Fellows said. “You’re all madmen.”

“And you’re one of us,” Hart said grimly. “Be careful what you wish for.”

Cameron rumbled his big laugh. “Get the man a drink. He looks like he’s about to swoon.”

“You’ll have a Scots accent before you know it,” Mac said. “The ladies like it, Fellows.”

“God, no.”

Daniel chuckled. “Ye mean ‘Och, noe.’”

Mac and Cameron dissolved into raucous laughter. “I think we should celebrate,” Daniel shouted. “With lots of whiskey. Don’t you think so, Dad?”

A week later, Hart’s coach let Ian and Beth, Curry and Katie out at Euston Station to take the train back north. The brothers and Isabella had said they would follow in their own time, promising that they’d be present for the elaborate wedding Ian would give Beth for consenting to be his wife.

The weather had turned rainy, and Ian was anxious to get back to the wide-open spaces of Scotland. At the station, while Curry rushed off to purchase tickets after settling Beth into the first-class lounge, Ian turned around to see Hart coming at him out of the rain. The fog parted for his brother’s broad shoulders, just like the rest of the world did. Travelers’ heads turned as they recognized the famous and wealthy duke.

“I wanted to speak to you before you went,” Hart said stiffly. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yes.” Ian hadn’t liked the way his rage mounted every time he found himself alone with Hart, and so he had found means to not be alone with him.

Hart started to pull Ian aside, out of the crowd, but Ian remained stubbornly in the middle of the platform, the crowd snaking around them. Hart heaved a resigned sigh. “You are right that I’m a ruthless bastard. I truly didn’t know that for five years you were trying to protect me.” He hesitated, his eyes sliding sideways like Ian’s always did. “I’m sorry.”

Ian studied the steam billowing from the train across the platform. “I regret Mrs. Palmer’s death.” He watched a puff of steam swell, and then dissipate. “She loved you, but you didn’t love her.”

“What are you talking about? She was my mistress for years. Do you think her death means nothing to me?”

“You will miss her, yes, and you cared for her. But you didn’t love her.” Ian looked at Hart, meeting his eyes for a brief moment. “I know the difference now.”

A muscle moved in Hart’s jaw. “Damn you, Ian. No, I didn’t love her. Yes, I cared for her. But yes, I used her, and before you remind me, yes, I used my wife, and both of them paid the ultimate price. What do you think that’s doing to me?”

“I don’t know.” Ian studied his brother, for the first time seeing him as something other than the stern, strong edifice of Hart Mackenzie. Hart the man looked out of his ambercolored eyes, and Hart the man was twisted in anguish. Ian put a hand on Hart’s shoulder. “I think you should have made Eleanor marry you all those years ago. Your life would have been ten times better.”

“My wise little brother. Eleanor jilted me, if you remember. Forcefully.”

Ian shrugged. “You should have insisted. It would have been better for both of you.”

“The Queen of England I can handle, Gladstone I can tolerate, and the House of Lords I can make to dance to my tunes.” Hart shook his head. “But not Lady Eleanor Ramsay.”

Ian shrugged again and pulled his hand away. His thoughts moved from Hart and his troubles to Beth waiting for him in the warm lounge. “I have a train to catch.”

“Wait.”

Hart put himself in front of Ian. They were the same height, looking straight into each other’s faces, though Ian had to move his gaze to Hart’s cheekbone. “One more thing. Beth, too, was completely right about me. I use you shamelessly. But with one difference.” Hart put his hands on Ian’s shoulders. “I love you, if I can be unmanly and say so. I didn’t take you out of the asylum just so you could help me with my politics. I did it because I wanted you free from that hell and given the chance to live a normal life.”

“I know,” Ian said. “I don’t help you because you command me to.”

He saw Hart’s eyes grow moist, and suddenly his brother pulled him into a bear hug. The crowd milling around them turned their heads, smiled, or raised eyebrows. Ian held Hart close, fists pressing into his brother’s back. The two released each other, but Hart kept his hands on Ian’s arms.

“Take Beth home and be happy. It’s over.” Ian glanced over as Curry opened the door to the waiting room, and Beth came out. She looked at Ian and smiled.

“Maybe it’s over for you. For me, it’s just beginning.” Hart looked surprised, and then he nodded in understanding as Beth came to Ian, her hands outstretched, a warm smile on her face. Beth turned and planted a kiss on a startled Hart’s cheek, then took Ian’s arm and let him walk her to the train.

In the train compartment, Curry fussed about making sure they’d have everything for the long ride north, until Ian sent him off. Rain and gathering dusk darkened the sky. Beth sank to the cushions and watched Ian yank the curtains closed against the gloom. The train’s whistle hooted, the steam hissed, and the train jerked forward. Ian braced himself against the polished wall as the train rolled away from the station. Beth leaned against the cushions, exhausted. “I could wish Curry had found a book or something for me,” she said. “Or we could have stopped for my needlework.”

“Why?”

“For when you go a-roaming, up and down the train. I must keep myself occupied somehow.”

“I’m not going to roam the train.” Ian snapped closed the lock on the door. “You are here.”

“You mean you will stay alone with me? Without a chaperone?” Despite their bit of play in her bedchamber the day Fellows’s secret had been revealed, Ian had again kept his distance.

“I have a question to ask you.”

Beth stretched one arm across the back of the seat, hoping she looked provocative. “And what is that, husband?”

Ian leaned down, his body hemming her in. His large fists rested on the seat back behind her. “Do I love you?”

Her heart banged in her chest. “What a question.”

“When you were ill, when Mrs. Palmer hurt you, I knew I’d die if you died. There would be nothing inside me, just a hole where you used to be.”

“Exactly how I would have felt if Inspector Fellows had let you go to the gallows or back to the asylum,” Beth said softly.

“I never understood before. It’s like fear and hope, both warm and cold. All mixed together.”

“I know.”

He cupped his hands around her face. “But I don’t want to hurt you. I never, ever want to hurt you.”

“Ian, you aren’t your father. From what you and your brothers have told me, you’re nothing like him. You left Sally rather than hurt her. You protected Hart from Fellows, and you thought you were protecting Lily. Everything you’ve done is to try to help people, not harm them.”

He stood silently, as though debating whether to believe her. “I have the rage inside me.”

“Which you know how to control.
He
didn’t. That’s the difference.”

“Can I ever be sure?”

“I’ll make you sure. You said yourself he caused you too much misery and that you and your brothers need to be done with him. Please, Ian. Let him go.”

Ian closed his eyes. Beth watched emotions flicker across his face, the uncertainty, the stubbornness, the raw pain he’d lived with for so long. He didn’t always know how to express his emotions, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel them deeply. When Ian slowly opened his eyes, he guided his gaze directly to Beth’s. His golden eyes shimmered and sparkled, pupils ringed with green. He held her gaze steadily, not blinking or shifting away.

“I love you,” he said.

Beth caught her breath, and sudden tears blurred her vision.

“Love you,” Ian repeated. His gaze bore into hers harder than Hart’s ever could hope to.

“Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you love you love you…”

“Ian.” Beth laughed.

“Love you,” he murmured against her lips, her face, against the curve of her neck. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. Are you going to say it all night?”

“I’ll say it until I’m in you so hard I can’t speak.”

“I suppose I’ll have to put up with that. It might be difficult, though I wouldn’t mind finding out.”

He paused. “Are you joking?”

Beth laughed until she slid out of the seat, but when she landed on the floor, Ian was right beside her. “Yes. I was joking.” She caught Ian’s lapels in her hands. “I believe carnality is definitely called for. Perhaps we should send for Curry to pull out the bed.”

Ian got to his feet, tossed the cushions onto the other bench, and unlatched the hooks that unrolled the seat into a bed. “I don’t want Curry.”

“I see.”

Ian yanked the bed into place, then lifted Beth and laid her on it. He unlaced her boots with quick jerks, then unbuckled and unfastened every bit of her brand-new traveling clothes.

Moments later she lay back, naked in the chill air. Beth lifted one hand over her head, letting her breasts arch forward, while Ian’s gaze warmed her like a blanket. She bent her knee, scooting her foot to her hip so he could see between her legs. It felt delicious and exciting to lie back for Ian Mackenzie and let him look his fill.

“Do you still love me?” she asked. “Or is it only desire?”

“Both.”

Ian tossed off his jacket, cravat, collar, and waistcoat in a few smooth moves, and had his shirt unbuttoned at cuffs and throat before she could blink. She watched his vee of brown chest come into view, then his strong thighs as he kicked out of his trousers and underdrawers. The shirt came off last. Dark hair snaked down his chest, and muscles rippled as he tossed the shirt aside.

He didn’t give her much time to appreciate what she saw. He climbed up to the bed, on hands and knees around her.

“Carnality?” he repeated.

Her natural instinct to joke fled her. “Yes. Now. Please.”

Ian slid his fingers between her legs, swirling the moisture he found there. “Love me?”

“I do. I love you, Ian.”

He withdrew his fingers, sparkling wet, and licked one clean. “The best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Better than single-malt whiskey from the Mackenzie distillery?”

“I’d rather drink you than whiskey.”

“And you a Scotsman? You must be in love.”

“S’up.”

Beth clamped her lips shut, and they trembled. Ian lowered his head and licked between her legs. He savored that, eyes closed, than began to work on her studiously. The train moved back and forth in a steady rhythm, but the room seemed to spin.

“Ian, please.”

He rose on his hands and knees again, his rigid stem hanging heavily. “Spread for me.”

He didn’t wait, didn’t go slowly. He lifted her hips with one strong hand and shoved his way inside her. The train rocketed over a bridge. Ian moved. He rested his weight on his fists, his muscles tightening, his skin gleaming with sweat.

“Love you,” he said as he thrust. “Love you, love you, love you.”

“Ian.” He was hard and moving fast, and she opened to him, hot, slick, and wet. His words trailed off into grunts, and soon the sounds she made were just as incoherent. He drove his hips, pushing hard, harder.

Ian dropped onto to her, the slick sweat on his chest meeting the heat of hers. He clenched his teeth and forced his gaze to hers.

“Love. You.”

The man who couldn’t look anyone in the eyes was making himself do it, no matter what the pain. He was giving her a gift, the greatest one he could, straight from his heart. Tears poured from Beth’s eyes at the same time her body wrenched into hot waves of joy. “I love you, Ian Mackenzie.” One more thrust, two, and he threw his head back, the cords of his neck tight. His seed burst out of him into her, and then they were twined together, arms and legs, lips and tongues.