The Magus, A Revised Version (32 page)

‘
No.
’

‘
I think we
’
re here very much on his sufferance. I tried once or twice to suggest that to you.
’

‘
I got the message.
’

‘
It
’
s all so fragile. Like a spider
’
s web. Intellectually. Theatrically, if you like. There are ways we could behave that might destroy it all at once.
’
She gave me another look.
‘
Seriously. I
’
m not playing games now.
’

‘
Has he threatened to call it
off
?
’

‘
He doesn
’
t have to. If we didn
’
t
feel we were going through the
most extraordinary experience of our lives … I know he can seem absurd. Maddening. An old ham. But I think he
’
s discovered a clue to something …
‘
again she did not finish the sentence.

‘
Which I
’
m not allowed to know.
’

‘
Something we might all kick ourselves for having spoilt.
’
She said,
‘
I
’
m only just beginning to glimpse what it may be about. It
’
s not that I could tell you coherently, even if…
’

There was a silence.

‘
Well, he obviously has powers of persuasion. I presume that was your sister last night.
’

‘
Were you shocked?
’

‘
Only now I know who she was.
’

She said softly,
‘
Even twin sisters don
’
t always have the same views on things.
’
After a moment she said,
‘
I can guess what you must be thinking. But there hasn
’
t been the slightest sign of … we shouldn
’
t still be here if there had been.
’
Then she added,
‘
June
’
s always been less of a prude about that sort of thing than me. Actually she was nearly sent
–’

She broke
off
at once, but it was too late. I saw her make a little gesture of prayer, as if to crave forgiveness for the slip. I grinned at the grim little expression that appeared on her face.

‘
I
’
d have known about you at Oxford. So why was she nearly sent down from the other place?
’

‘
Oh God, I am a fool.
’
She gave me a look of dry entreaty.
‘
You mustn
’
t tell him.
’

‘
I promise.
’

‘
It was nothing. She modelled in the nude once. For a joke. And it got out.
’

‘
What did you read?
’

She smiled gently.
‘
One day. Not yet.
’

‘
But you were at Cambridge.
’
She gave a reluctant nod.
‘
Lucky Cambridge.
’

There was a little silence. She spoke in a lower voice.
‘
He
’
s so shrewd, Nicholas. If I tell you more than you
’
re meant to know, he
’
ll cotton on at once.
’

‘
He surely can
’
t expect me to go on swallowing the Lily thing.
’

‘
No. He doesn
’
t. You needn
’
t pretend to.
’
‘
So all this could be a part of the plot?
’

‘
Yes. In a way it is.
’
She took a deep breath.
‘
Very soon your credulity is going to be stretched even further.
’

‘
How soon?
’

‘
If I know him, within an hour from now you won
’
t know whether to believe a word of anything I
’
ve just been saying.
’

‘
That was him in the boat?
’

She nodded.
‘
He
’
s probably watching us at the moment. Waiting for his cue.
’

I looked cautiously past her through the trees towards the direction of the house; felt like turning and looking behind me. I could see nothing.

‘
How much longer have we got?
’

‘
It
’
s all right. It
’
s partly up to me.
’

She bent and picked a sprig of origan from a bush beside the bench and smelt it. I stared into the trees below us, still searching for a glint of colour, a movement… trees, and a very elusive wood. She had of course neatly pre-empted the thousand questions I wanted to ask; but about her I was getting, if not many factual, at least some psychological and emotional answers … I imagined a girl who had perhaps been a little bit of a blue-stocking, despite her looks; certainly more an intellectual than an animal creature, but with a repeated and teasing hint of something dormant there, waiting to be awakened; for whom acting at university must have provided some sort of release. I knew she was still acting in a way, but I felt it was defensive now, a way of hiding what she felt about me.

‘
It seems to me there
’
s one part of the plot that does call for a little collaboration.
’
I added,
‘
Rehearsal discussion.
’

‘
Which is that?
’

‘
You and me.
’

She smoothed her skirt over a crossed knee.
‘
You aren
’
t the only one who
’
s had a shock today. Two hours ago was the first time I heard about your Australian friend.
’

‘
I told you the perfect truth down there. That
’
s exactly how it is.
’

‘
I
’
m sorry I sounded so inquisitive. It was just

‘
Just what?
’

‘
Suspicious. If you had meant to confuse me.
’

‘
If I
’
m asked here, nothing will take me to Athens.
’
She said nothing.
‘
Is that the general plan?
’

‘
As far as I know.
’
She shrugged.
‘
But it depends on Maurice.
’
My eyes were sought.
‘
We really are also flies in his web.
’
She smiled.
‘
I
’
ll be honest. He was going to ask you. But we were warned at lunch that it may be called
off
.
’

‘
I thought he was in Nauplia.
’

‘
No. He
’
s been on the island all day.
’

She fingered her sprig of origan and I kept looking at her.
‘
But my original point. This first act has apparently required you to attract me. Anyway, that
’
s been the effect. You may be another fly in the web, but you
’
ve also been doubling as the kind they tie on hooks.
’

‘
It was a very artificial fly.
’

‘
Sometimes they work the best.
’
Her eyes were down, she said nothing.
‘
You look as if I shouldn
’
t have brought this up.
’

‘
No, I… you
’
re quite right.
’

‘
If it was a reluctant performance, I think you ought to tell me.
’

‘
If I said yes, or no, to that, it wouldn
’
t be the complete truth. Either way.
’

‘
Then where do we go from here?
’

‘
I think as if we
’
d met quite naturally. Somewhere else.
’

‘
In which case?
’

She hesitated, she was shredding the leaves from the little stem, preternaturally intent on that.
‘
I think I
’
d have looked forward to knowing you better.
’

I thought of her performance on the beach that morning, but I knew what she meant: her real self was not one that could be rushed. I also knew that I must show her I had understood that. I leant forward, elbows on knees.

‘
That
’
s all I wanted to know.
’

She said slowly,
‘
Obviously. I am meant to be one reason you want to come back here.
’

‘
It
’
s working.
’

She said diffidently,
‘
This has been something else that
’
s worried me. Now it
’
s come to this, I don
’
t want to mislead you.
’

She said no more, and I jumped to a wrong conclusion.
‘
There
’
s someone else?
’

‘
Just that I
’
ve made it very clear to Maurice that I
’
ll play parts for him, I
’
ll do what I did this morning, but beyond that

‘
You
’
re your own mistress.
’

‘
Yes.
’

‘
Has he suggested … ?
’

‘
Absolutely not. He
’
s said all along that if there
’
s something we don
’
t want to do, we needn
’
t.
’

‘
I wish you
’
d just give me some clue about what
’
s behind it all.
’

‘
You must have made some guesses.
’

‘
I feel I
’
m some sort of guinea-pig, God knows why. It
’
s mad, I turned up here by pure chance, three weeks ago. Just for a glass of water.
’

‘
I don
’
t think it was pure chance. I mean, you may have come like that. But if you hadn
’
t, he
’
d have found some way.
’
She said,
‘
We were told you were coming, before you did. When our own first supposed reason for coming here was blown sky-high.
’

‘
He must have sold you something better than just playing games.
’

‘
Yes.
’
She turned towards me, an arm along the back of the seat, with an apologetic grimace.
‘
Nicholas, I can
’
t tell you more now. Apart from anything else, I must leave you. But yes, he did sell us something better. And guinea-pig … that
’
s not quite right. Something better than that, too. That
’
s one reason we
’
re still here. However it may seem at the moment.
’
She looked down at the sea between us.
‘
And one other thing. This last hour
’
s been a tremendous relief to me. I
’
m so glad you forced it on us.
’
She murmured,
‘
We may have got Maurice very wrong. In which case we shall need a knight errant.
’