The Making of The Huntress (3 page)

I eventually decided that Stanley would end
up killing me either because of his stored resentment towards me
due to my inconsiderate behavior or because he found me cheating on
him with someone whom I could feel passionate about. The breakup
was hastened when in early December I found out that Stanley was
planning to propose to me on Christmas day. Knowing how much he
liked to make me happy with his extravagant gifts I knew the ring
was going to be extremely hard to say no to. Instantly, I was in a
panic, how could I marry a man I wasn’t in love with and I really
started to believe he would inevitably end up killing me. So less
than two weeks before Christmas I did what I had to do and ended my
relationship with Stanley. He was completely sideswiped with the
breakup since we had never even had an argument during our year
plus relationship. This too was a really hard breakup because
Stanley had given me a sense of security and stability unlike
anything I’d ever experienced. I knew Stanley loved me but that
wasn’t enough for me, I needed and wanted more.

* * *

Chapter
4 Out of Control

My recovery from this breakup came much
quicker than when Lou and I had broken up. This once again
confirmed to me that I was never really in love with Stanley, he
had simply become comfortable to me. By that April I was moving
full speed ahead to the third relationship of my life. This
relationship would impact my life the most and for the longest time
although the relationship would not be a lengthy one. While waiting
in line with one of my girlfriends to see a movie, this very cocky
guy walked over to me and introduced himself. That was the
beginning of the book of Matthew but unlike that book in the bible
there was nothing holy or inspiring about this chapter of my life.
Matthew’s nickname was Matt and our relationship started out hot
and heavy. Matt represented a lot of firsts in my life as I will
point out as I recall the tragedy that was us. First there was his
age, he was 2 years younger than me where my former beaus had both
been older than me by at least 5 years. From day one Matt seemed
completely enamored with me and constantly showered compliments on
me. In fact, I was sooo caught up in his charm that by date three
we were pulled over in an empty field sharing our first sexual
encounter. I was driving Matt home from our date (because he didn’t
have a car) when he started touching my breasts, and before I knew
it he had unzipped my pants and was giving me the best finger fuck
I had ever had. My body was literally shaking because of what was
happening and perhaps even more so due to where it was happening,
in my car. I was shocked and yet very turned on. Just as quickly as
the finger fuck had begun he suddenly bent down and put his head in
my crotch and the licking began. I almost crashed us into a cement
wall because I had totally lost control and could no longer drive
safely, so I pulled into an empty field. There are a lot of empty
fields here in South Carolina. Matt didn’t waste any time nor did
he want to allow me time to think about what was happening and
possibly put up any resistance. Matt gave me head unlike anything
I’d ever felt before, stopping only to tell me how sweet I tasted.
This was the passion I had missed in my previous relationship with
Stanley and I had once shared with Lou. Once Matt had made me come
twice he finally came up for air and pretty much commanded me to
take off my clothes.

I was having an outer body experience where
I saw myself removing my clothes but at the same time I couldn’t
believe I was doing that in a car in some empty field. Matt quickly
removed his clothes as well and I licked my lips at the sight of
his broad shoulders and 12 pack abs. Matt was incredibly in shape
and spent quite a bit of time working out, certainly it was working
for him and now for me. Butt- ass naked we proceeded to the
backseat and commenced to full-fledged fucking, there was no
lovemaking this was like sexual warfare. Matt was thrusting his
penis into me fast and hard and I was matching his thrusts with a
wanton abandon that I didn’t even know I was capable of. Every cell
in my body seemed to be on and jumping like I was going to
experience some sort of metamorphosis and I kind of did. That night
I found out that I was an exhibitionist, although Matt was fine and
fucked like a champion athlete, a big part of my arousal was the
fact that we were fucking out in public where it was entirely
possible that we might be seen or someone was already watching or
hearing us. When I thought the situation couldn’t get crazier Matt
jumped out of the car and went to sit on my hood, then told me to
come here. Now keep in mind we were both completely naked but I
didn’t even hesitate, I just went and got on the hood. Crazy can’t
begin to describe us because it was at that moment that Matt
decided to incorporate love-making into it. He proceeded to spread
me on the hood and started sucking my breast like a hungry newborn
seeking that life-saving milk only his mother could provide. Next
he again went down on me causing me to make noises that sounded
less like a woman and more like some kind of wild animal. Matt
laughed and stated “I like the way you’re showing me how good it
feels.” I couldn’t say anything it seemed like I couldn’t slow down
enough to talk and I didn’t want to talk I just wanted to keep
enjoying what I was feeling. How we managed to finish without the
cops showing up I don’t know because several times we saw cars pass
by and it seemed like their headlights were shining right on us yet
we couldn’t stop.

Definitely Matt was the wildest sex I’d ever
had and that was just the beginning. We kept pushing the ante by
finding new places and new things to do with each other sexually.
After that night I couldn’t get rid of Matt, whenever we weren’t
working he tried to be right up under me and I do mean up under me.
Seeing how the relationship was new and I was 25 I found it
extremely flattering and even thought Matt must really be in love
with me. WRONG! Within four months of knowing him he had just all
but moved into my apartment and was even driving my car. My feet
were finally touching the ground again and I realized besides work
I really hadn’t spent any time with anyone but Matt in these last
four months.

I received an invitation from one of my good
friends to go come to a party she was throwing at her place and I
promptly said yes. Matt and I were in a McDonalds drive thru when I
casually told him about the invite and just as casually he said No,
We’re Not Going! I laughed thinking surely he was joking with that
quick response in which he answered for both of us. “You may not be
going but I am definitely going.” I stated and he responded again
“No you’re not, neither one of us is going do you really think
you’re going to a party without me?” Again I told him in no
uncertain terms that I was going to that party and that he was my
man not my father. “BAM” was all I heard but I felt the definite
sting of Matt’s slap across my right cheek. Momentarily, I was in
shock, I could not believe what had happened, soI let go of the
wheel and just started hitting him. At the top of my lungs I yelled
for him to get out of my car. A look of fear appeared across his
face and my heart was racing a mile a minute as I wondered what was
going to happen next since I had never had a man put his hands on
me like that. Matt started immediately apologizing and trying to
promise me that it would never happen again. “I know it will never
happen again with us because I am through with you” then I screamed
for him to get out of my car or I would create a scene so that the
police would be called. Matt quietly got out of my car and started
walking away with his head down and his shoulders slumped.

The next day Matt sent flowers to my job and
when I arrived home that evening he was there once again stating
how sorry he was and he didn’t know why he had done that but it
would never happen again. I just screamed at him and told him to
get away from my place before I called the police. Matt was driving
a car I didn’t recognize so without any further incident he walked
to it and drove away, but then came the calls. Matt called my phone
relentlessly and since I never answered he left me countless
messages saying the same thing. It’s funny the same friend who’s
party he didn’t want me to attend was the same person he reached
out to begging her to talk to me for him. Unfortunately, she did
just that and I decided after a few weeks he had learned his lesson
and would never again think about putting his hands on me. WRONG!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming my friend for my decision
because at the time I was in love with Matt and only stayed away
from him for the two weeks because I thought it would be enough
time for him to think about what he’d done and ensure it didn’t
happen again.

Fast forward about one month after we
reconciled and I was facing another physical encounter with Matt,
only this time he was trying to choke me to death. It was a
Saturday and I had of course been with Matt that morning then I
went to work out and run some errands. While I was out Matt had
called me several times which was really aggravating to me but I
just made sure to end the calls quickly. Upon arriving back to my
place that afternoon Matt wasn’t there he had gone to play a game
of basketball with his cousin and some friends. After sitting there
for about two hours I decided to go and visit a friend I hadn’t
seen in a while. While in the house talking to my friend I hadn’t
realized it but Matt had been trying to call me. Unfortunately for
me, I had left my cell phone in the car and missed all ten of
Matt’s calls.

When I arrived home Matt opened the door
before I could put my key in the lock and he literally jerked me
into the house. Matt began questioning where I was and who I had
been with and then he stated “Vanessa I swear if you’re cheating on
me I’m going to kill you”. I was outraged and scared at the same
time but of course me being me I couldn’t keep my mouth closed. I
told Matt I was at a friends and that’s all he needed to know. The
look in Matt’s eyes told me I had just said the wrong thing. Before
I knew it he had hit me knocking me to the ground and then started
choking me. I was trying my best to fight back but he had a death
grip on my neck and I felt like I was about to pass out.
Miraculously Matt stopped choking me and once again started
apologizing and telling me that I made him do that because he loved
me so much and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with another
man.

In that moment I knew that Matt had serious
issues and the last six months flashed before my eyes. I saw what I
should’ve seen months ago that Matt’s unending attention and
constant need to be in my presence wasn’t about love it was all
about control. Now I just had to figure out how I was going to get
out of this apartment since Matt was still holding me down and he
easily overpowered me. Just as suddenly as he had hit me Matt began
kissing me while murmuring in between how much he loved me. He then
began taking off my clothes and started having sex with me like
nothing had happened, meanwhile I was crying and in pain. Matt kept
repeating that same old line “I’m so sorry baby”. Survival mode
kicked in so I started pretending I was into the sex, I figured
once we were finished he would go to sleep and I could get out of
there. Matt was smart and it wasn’t easy to convince him that I was
into the sex so to test me he asked me for oral sex. I could’ve won
an award because on my knees I gave him what was probably the best
oral sex I had ever given him then he laid me back on the floor and
fucked me desperately as if he could fuck away what he had just
done to me. Despite the circumstances, I involuntarily had an
orgasm. Although I knew it was merely a physiological response I
was very upset with myself for having an orgasm. Finally Matt came
and then he lay down beside me and started to fall asleep but he
wouldn’t let go of my hand. I’m lying there trying to think how was
I going to get out of there when I finally heard him start snoring.
Slowly, I slipped my hand out of his, put on my clothes and quietly
got out of the house. I drove straight to the police station and
followed them back to my house where they arrested Matt’s crazy
ass. I can’t believe he was still there, sleeping nonetheless.

Despite a restraining order against him,
when Matt was released on bail he promptly began to stalk me. I
ended up moving out of that apartment due to what happened there
and now lived closer to some of my relatives just in case I had
more problems with Matt and I certainly did. I had gotten a new job
where I didn’t get home until around 12am and when I arrived Matt
would come walking out of the bushes begging me to take him back.
The situation was made worse due to the fact that Matt and I had
found out we were having a baby about a week before he attacked me.
Eventually, Matt was arrested again for violating the restraining
order since he wouldn’t stop showing up at my place he ended up
going to jail for a year. While in jail he still tried to reach out
to me through other people. I made the decision to terminate my
pregnancy because I didn’t want any ties to Matt that would mean
having to deal with him after he got out of jail. That was my first
pregnancy and the decision I made was a hard one but I never
regretted it since I didn’t want a child born into that turmoil and
I couldn’t imagine how I would raise this child while having to
deal with such a horrible father. Relationship number 3 was now
officially over and although it was my shortest relationship it
definitely had had the most negative and long term impact on
me.

* * *

Chapter
5 One True Love?