The Mall (36 page)

‘Nah, just a dead end.’

‘Hm,’ she says, and turns back to the flames.

I go back to our room and lie back on my pile of cardboard. It was a mistake to go up there. I know it will take time before I can delude myself again. But I’ve got to try. For Rhoda.

I shuffle through my plastic bag of personal stuff, looking for the book I was reading. It’s about a guy who can walk through doors into the future, but can’t always find the door
back to the past. My phone’s lying on top of it and out of habit I take it out. Despite myself, I hope. I thumb it on. The battery indicator is flashing red. A minute later, I hear the beeps.
I’ve got a message.

Drawn by the beep, Rhoda rushes over to me, eyes alive with that eternal hope.

‘This is it, Dan,’ she says. ‘I can feel it in my gut.’

I’m suddenly reluctant to read it.

‘Well?’ she says. ‘Go on!’

Hands trembling, I thumb the message open and read it.

‘Fuck.’ Rhoda turns away in disgust.

I’m fucking worthless. That’s all she’ll ever get from me: disappointment. I drop the phone on the concrete floor and the battery skitters out under the brazier. Let it burn.
I don’t care anymore.

It’s Rhoda who picks up the pieces and huddles in the corner of our den; she doesn’t look at me. She fiddles with the phone, sighing under her breath, pissed off with me for breaking
it. I turn my back to her and settle in with my book. It’s going to be another long night.

A minute’s silence. Then

Beep beep. Beep beep.

‘Dan.’

I turn to her. ‘Huh?’

She looks at me from across the room, fire dancing in her eyes.

‘Game on,’ she says.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

S.L. Grey thanks Lauren Beukes, book.co.za, Nic Cheetham, Isobel Dixon, Rina Gill, Adam Greenberg, Sam Greenberg, Bronwyn Harris, Lily Herne, Savannah Lotz, Charlie Martins,
Toby Mundy, Oliver Munson, Laura Palmer, Alan Walters, Carol Walters, Pagan Wicks, Ben Williams and Sam Wilson.