Authors: Yelena Kopylova
"I didn't. I didn't trouble anybody, Auntie Jessie. I only wanted to talk." The child now looked up at them again and added brightly, "I like to talk."
"Come along."
Before the child was tugged away she called to them, "Will you come again?"
Neither of them gave any reply to this, but Lady Lydia muttered, "Oh, dear me. Dear me."
Gerald knew that his mother's head had drooped but he kept his gaze fixed on the woman and the child slipping and scurrying now across the ploughed field. And not until they had gone from his sight did he turn away and walk to where his mother was now standing some distance from the wall, and they looked at each other while she said softly, "That's the child, the girl's child whom they say they keep locked away almost like a prisoner."
Gerald, however, made no comment on this as they walked towards the wood; his jaws were clenched tight:
he was seeing again the beautiful girl, her bare blood- covered limbs stretched wide. He could even feel the moan rising up through his own body again. It was nearly ten years ago; he shouldn't still be feeling like this
The child was standing near a stool at the side of the open fire in the cottage that had once housed Annie. Annie had been dead now for eight years. And this cottage and the adjoining one were now linked together through a doorway between the two kitchens, and they had been the home of both the child and Jessie ever since Carl and Patsy had moved into the house.
Jessie was bending over the child, saying in a harsh voice, "I've warned you, haven't I? If your grandfather finds you roaming around there'll be trouble."
"Why?"
"I've ... I've told you why. He's not well."
"He's quite able to walk about. He won't speak to me. He never looks at me."
"Child.r " I am not a child, Auntie Jessie. I am nine years old. On my next birthday I shall be ten years old and I think things already, and I feel things. And I would like to know why I cannot see my sick mammy, and why she doesn't walk about. "
Jessie straightened her back now and sighed as she said, "I've told you, she never leaves her room and ... and children, or a child like you, would annoy her."
The girl stared up at Jessie before saying quietly, "In the new book you got for my lessons there is a lady sitting with a little girl on her knee and .. and she's reading to her."
Jessie's whole demeanour now softened as it was wont to do at her
child's need, for that's how she thought of her, as her child. Softly now, and putting out her hand to touch the cream-tinted cheek, she said, "Don't I have you on my knee when I'm reading to you?"
"Yes. Yes, you do, Auntie Jessie; but you are not my mammy, are you?
You are just my auntie. "
Jessie swallowed deeply.
"Yes, I may just be your ^ auntie," she said, 'but I have cared for you from the moment you were born, because' again she swallowed 'there was no-one else to care for you. "
"Patsy once said she had brought me into the world."
Before she spoke Jessie thought, Oh, did she? That was stupid of
her.
But she said, "Yes. Yes, she did, but she handed you to me
straightaway, and ever since I've looked after you as my little
girl."
For a moment longer Janie stared at Jessie; then sitting down abruptly on the stool she looked towards the fire, saying, "I... I get frightened at night now. Auntie Jessie. I ... I have been having
strange dreams."
Immediately Jessie was on her knees by the side of the wide-eyed child, saying earnestly, "But you never told me. You seem to sleep
soundly."
The little girl brought her gaze round to Jessie's again.
"Well, it's only this last few weeks or so, since I cannot help wanting to run, wanting to get out. I ... I have no-one to play with. In all our books' she looked towards the table' children are playing games:
"London Bridge is Falling Down" , "Ring a Ring o' Roses" , skipping and such. "
"Well, you skip. You skip very well. And Carl and Rob and you and I have played ball together in the field."
"Yes. Yes, I know." The child nodded now, adding, "But they are not little. I mean, they are not my size. And, oh yes, Mike remarked that I was growing up too quickly and would outdo my strength. What did he mean by that?"
"Oh, Mike says silly things. It only means that you will be tall when you are a young lady."
"Will I ever be a young lady?"
The thought leapt the years and fashioned a young lady before Jessie's eyes, and the face it presented was not the bright shining countenance of this child, the long-lashed lids, the full-lipped mouth, and the luxuriant brown hair, so strong it had a life of its own and would stay neither in curl nor in plaits.
"Will I, Auntie Jessie, be a young lady some day?"
"Of course you will."
"Will I marry a prince and live happy ever after?"
Jessie pulled herself to her feet, saying briskly now, "That's a silly thing to ask. Where did you read that?"
"In one of the fairy tales, Mr. Grimm's."
Oh yes, Mr. Grimm's, whose stories to Jessie's mind were either
terrifying or silly .. marry a prince and live happy ever after.
She was about to turn away when she paused and, pointing an admonishing finger down at Janie again, she said, "Promise me you'll never run off on your own like you did this morning."
And now to her amazement her child stood up and dared to say, "No, Auntie Jessie, I can't promise you that, because all the time I want to run, to run away outside the walls and the gate and the railings,
everything that keeps me in. And if you won't take me out some time, one day I will run away and see the market where Carl goes, and the village where the men go and get drunk. And another thing I must say to you. Auntie Jessie: one day I must see Mama. I must, because she has never wanted to see me. I shall never love her as I do you, but I still must see her."
Dear Lord in heaven! Her nine years of incarceration now appeared to be a most senseless thing, for from whomsoever she had inherited her traits, this child had a strength of will and a mind beyond her
years.
One thing was sure, she did not take after her mother in any way, nor after her grandmother, for she had never shown any inclination to dance as both she herself and Angela had done at a very early age. She had asked if she would ever be a young lady. Well, there was one
certainty: she
would grow to an age when that term could be applied to her, by which time the truth would assuredly have been revealed in one way or
another. And what then would be her reactions? Only God knew. Yes, only God knew.
She turned to her now and said briskly, "No more talk; there's your lesson on the table. I'm just going to slip across to the house. I'll not be more than five minutes."
As she was taking down a shawl from the wooden rack attached to the inside of the door, she was startled when Janie's voice came to her, saying, "Don't lock me in, please."
"I ... I must ..."
"If you do, Auntie Jessie, one day I shall climb out through the window."
Jessie paused for a moment as she fumbled in her pocket for the key to the door with one hand while groping for the latch with the other, realising that janie had meant what she said. Without answering her, she dropped the key back into her pocket and opened the door. Closing it behind her, she muttered to herself, "Oh, dear Lord."
As she made her way across to the house, she recalled how it had come about that only the kitchen now remained as it had been for years; and how, after Annie had died, alterations had been made to the rest of the house.
Up till then she had kept janie in her bedroom and shared her time between her and attending to her sister, the latter task being shared by Patsy. But when, later, Patsy had had to take over the kitchen and the house keeping and had become heavy carrying her own child,
naturally she had spent less and less time upstairs. And so the
complete burden of Angela's dumb but effective demands had been left to her to cope with. Until one day it had come to her that if her sister were capable of eating by herself and walking across the room to her chair, then she should be able to wash and dress herself.
The response from Angela had been a bout of tantrums, during which she had thumped the bedclothes, then gripped the head of the bed, causing her body to stretch out and to become taut and so provide the impetus for her suddenly to strike out at her and to push her almost on to her back, and with such a strength that denied her weak, apparently fragile condition.
It was then that her own pent-up frustrations had caused her to take her hand and slap her sister across the face, on both sides. And this had had the intended result, for when their father had come bounding into the room she had immediately cried at him, "Now you can take over!
I've had enough. She's quite capable of helping herself. She's almost knocked me on my back, all because I suggested she should wash and dress herself. So, there you have it." And on this she had run from the room, leaving Ward looking from the screaming figure on the bed to the open door. But having realised at this moment that she had meant what she said, he had rushed after her and caught her just as she was about to enter her bedroom, and gripping her by the shoulder, he had swung her round, saying, "You can't do this! You can't leave her!
She's sick."
"Well, you must help in seeing to her. Daddy, mustn't you? or get help in. And that's final. And another thing I'll tell you: if I have to stand this strain much longer I shall walk out of here and you will have that on your hands too."
She had then pointed towards the bedroom door:
"And it will be too late to try to murder it this time, won't it?"
He had glanced hurriedly behind him, saying, "Be quiet! girl. You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know what I'm talking about. Daddy, and so do you," she had come back at him.
"And I mean what I say. Now, you can go downstairs and get Patsy to see to her for as long as she can, and then engage a cook to take her place. Now there you have it." And she had
bustled away from him and into her bedroom, banging the door almost in his face ..
This fracas had resulted in Ward having to do some quick thinking: Patsy would soon be having her child, and what then? Put his beloved daughter away?
No! No! Never! He couldn't do that. They would say it was
retribution for having had the other one put in the asylum.
This had led to further pondering and harassed thinking, until he
thought he had found a solution. And in a way he had. The next
morning he had again called Carl into his office.
"You know what happened last night," he had said;
'and this state of affairs can't go on. " And Carl had answered, " I can see that, sir, and I don't know what's going to happen when Patsy is nearing her time. "
"I've thought about all that, so I've got a proposal to put to you. If you fall in with it then I will make a statement ... an addition to my will ... to the effect that you will become part-owner, complete in half, of this house and farm when I die. Should that happen before my daughter Angela goes you would promise to see to her until her
demise.
And my terms are these: you and Patsy take up your abode in this house.
This room could be turned into a bedroom and next door, the
dining-room, could be put to your use as a sitting-room;
I myself would eat in my own sitting-room. We have too much furniture in the house anyway, but this would not go to waste, for I would
install my elder daughter in the cottages. A communicating door
between the two could make it into one. That would be her abode. " He did not mention who would go with her to that abode, but it was plain to Carl, whose face was showing no surprise. And when Ward asked, "
How do you see this? " he paused for a long time before answering, "
It could be done, sir. " But he did not add his thanks for the offer of the half-share in the house and farm, for he knew his own worth and that there would have been no farm left if he and Patsy had gone when they had first intended to. What he did say was, " If that arrangement is to be made possible, sir, you will have to employ someone in the kitchen for cooking and housework. And someone to look after Miss
Angela during Patsy's confinement. "
Ward had risen to his feet, but soon made his decision:
"I will engage someone for the kitchen and the house," he said; 'but with regard to the attention my daughter needs, I shall put it to
Jessie that unless she agrees to see to her sister during the necessary time that Patsy will need to be free of her duty, then I will not allow her to continue to live in the cottage, and, if necessary, I myself will do what has to be done. "
Carl had nodded his head but said nothing, for he was thinking: Yes.
Yes, he would do what had to be done for his daughter rather than let a stranger in and note her condition. As Patsy had continually said
during the years since the child was born. Miss Angela had become more and more trying and she felt that her mind was being affected.
"Well, Carl, tell me." Ward's voice had changed now:
he was no longer the master putting over his proposals and demands in stilted language; he was like a man seeking support as he had added,
"What do you really think? Will it work? And ... and would you be happy to do as I ask?"
Carl had answered straightaway.
"Yes, sir. I'll do anything that will ease the situation, and I'm sure Patsy will see it in this way, too.
And I thank you for your kind offer. I . I appreciate it, sir. And have I your leave to engage a woman for the kitchen? " And he had paused for some time before finishing: " Of course it will have to be someone from the Hollow. Perhaps McNabb's wife or daughter. They are clean people. "
Ward had sighed and agreed.
"Yes. Yes, go ahead."
And so it was that things had gone ahead. The house was altered, and just in time for Patsy's baby to be born in the room that had been known as