The Man Every Woman Wants (8 page)

Laura knew that if they shared a bed tonight and he tried to seduce her she would be his for the taking. In every way.

This last thought truly shocked Laura. He already had a girlfriend, hadn't he?

But it didn't change a thing. This was why lust was one of the seven deadly sins, she realised—one of the strongest. One which called to the dark side which lurked in every person, which banished conscience in the selfish search for carnal pleasures.

Now, as she looked over at him, she started stripping him
in her mind, seeing him naked and looming over her in bed tonight. He would be big down there, she fantasised. Big, powerful and forceful. She would cry out when he entered her, and moan when he began to move. Already she could feel him there, inside her, filling her totally, taking her to places that she'd never been before.

Laura had never had an orgasm during actual intercourse before. But she would with Ryan; she just knew she would.

Such thinking took her breath away. What was happening to her here?

Thank God she didn't love him. Because, if she did, she would have been doomed.

Suddenly, she realised that her grandmother was talking to her.

‘What was that, Gran?' she said as she lifted the tea cup to her lips and drained the rest of the stone-cold tea.

‘I suggested you take Ryan for a walk around the property before it gets too late. It's lovely down by the creek at sunset and there should be a good one today.'

‘All right,' Laura agreed. How could she possibly do anything else?

‘Come and see me when you return,' her gran continued. ‘I'd like to talk to you. Alone, if you don't mind, Ryan.'

‘Not at all.'

‘Bill will be home soon,' Cynthia said. ‘He plays golf on the course next door every Saturday afternoon but he promised to come straight home after the game. Should be here by four-thirty—five at the latest, he said. You and he could have a game of billiards before dinner, Ryan. That is, if you play billiards?'

‘I certainly do.'

Jane chuckled. ‘I dare say you're good at it too.'

Ryan smiled. ‘I'm good at most sports and games.'

Was sex a sport to him? Laura wondered ruefully. Or a game?

‘Come on then, darling,' he went on as he stood up. ‘Let's get going before the sun goes down.'

Suddenly, Laura didn't want to be alone with him. Certainly not down at the creek which was a very private spot, totally out of sight of everyone. She had little option, however, but to stand up and do exactly what had been suggested. To refuse would have seemed odd.

He took her hand, as she knew he would, and she didn't object, as she knew she wouldn't. No doubt they looked like lovers, strolling down the hill together, hand in hand. But love had nothing to do with the feelings which were zooming through Laura. She tried to say something, anything at all. But she remained silent. Ryan didn't say anything, either. When they reached the shelter of the trees which lined the creek, he let go of her hand and turned to face her.

‘Tell me what you're thinking.'

She dragged in a deep breath which she exhaled slowly as she assembled her thoughts. No way could she tell him what she was
really
thinking. But she had to make some comment to excuse the way she'd responded to his kisses.

‘I'm thinking you were right about my being too long between men.
And
kisses.'

He frowned. ‘So you're saying that that's why you enjoyed my kissing you as much as you obviously did? Because you're sexually frustrated?'

She kept her eyes cool. ‘It seems a logical explanation, don't you think?'

‘True. But I can hardly make the same claim. I certainly haven't been five years without a woman. But I sure as hell enjoyed kissing you, Laura. Maybe Erica was right after all. And so were you.'

‘About what?'

‘You said I didn't know women as much as I thought I did. Erica actually went off her brain when I told her what I was doing this weekend. Accused me of fancying you.'

‘Really?'

‘Yep. I got so mad at her that I broke up with her on the spot.'

‘You
did
?' Lord, but she shouldn't have been quite so happy about that. But she was. Oh yes, she definitely was. How stupid could she get?

‘Sure did,' he confirmed. ‘I didn't want to say so earlier on because I thought it might cause you some worry. But she was right, wasn't she? I do fancy you.'

‘
Really?
' Now she was even happier! Until she remembered that Ryan fancying a woman meant next to nothing. He'd obviously fancied Erica and look what happened to her. ‘Yes,
really
. But my fancying you is not a good idea, Laura.'

‘Why?' Oh Laura, Laura, did you have to sound so disappointed when you said that?

His eyes showed that she'd betrayed herself to a degree.

‘You are a work colleague and I do not date work colleagues,' he stated.

‘I see,' she said, not quite so happy now.

‘You wouldn't want to date a man like me anyway,' he ground out. ‘I'm not what you want. Or what you need.'

Laura shook her head from side to side. ‘I'm not sure what I want or need any more.'

‘Then let me remind you: you want a man who'll love you, marry you and give you children. That man will never be me, Laura. Because that's not what
I
want.'

Laura frowned at this last statement. What had happened to Ryan in the past that he never dared to risk getting emotionally involved with anyone? Something must have happened, because it wasn't natural to shun love. Everyone wanted to love and be loved.

‘And why is that?' she couldn't resist asking. ‘What have you got against love and marriage and children?'

‘Absolutely nothing,' he bit out. ‘It's just not for me. Look, it's as well that we've had this little talk. I would hate to think that I would do something tonight which we would both regret. Under the circumstances, I think you should ask Cynthia to put me in a separate bedroom when we get back.'

Laura sucked in air sharply. ‘But I can't do that!'

‘Why not?'

‘Because I just can't!'

His eyes narrowed on her, with a glint of wicked humour. ‘Is this your pride speaking, or something else? Don't tell me you've been secretly attracted to me all this time?'

‘Don't be ridiculous!' she snapped. ‘No one was more surprised than I when I reacted the way I did when you kissed me.'

‘I wouldn't say that,' Ryan said dryly. ‘I was pretty surprised myself. Okay, so it's a matter of pride. In that case I won't ask for a separate room, but I think I will sleep on the floor. I don't trust myself to keep my hands off you if we share a bed. Hell on earth, woman, stop looking at me like that!'

‘How am I looking at you?' she asked, trying to sound innocent but feeling anything but. She didn't want him to sleep on the floor. And she certainly didn't want him to keep his hands to himself.

‘Don't try to play games with me, Laura. I'm way out of your league in the games department. Erica called me a libertine.'

‘I don't believe you're a libertine at all,' she said, feeling angry with Erica for saying such a nasty thing. ‘A libertine doesn't care about people's feelings. You obviously care about mine to warn me off you. A libertine would just take what he wanted without a second thought.'

‘Would he now?'

For a split second, his eyes grew so cold that a shiver ran down Laura's spine. But then he whirled away from her and strode over to the edge of the creek. She stared after him, not knowing what to say or do. So she just stood there and waited. Eventually, the sun dipped down behind the hills and the air turned suddenly cool, at which point he turned and walked back towards her.

‘Let's get back,' he said, and grabbed her hand once more.

But there was nothing warm or affectionate in his grip. She
could feel anger in his fingers, but wasn't sure who he was more angry with, her or himself.

‘I promise I won't look at you like that any more,' she said during their hurried walk up the hill.

‘Good,' he snapped. ‘And I promise I won't bloody well kiss you any more!'

‘H
E'S
absolutely gorgeous, Laura,' was the first thing Gran said. ‘I can't tell you how pleased I am for you.'

They were in the old servants' quarters, Jane propped up in bed and Laura sitting in an armchair not far from her. Cynthia had certainly done the room up nicely, Laura conceded privately, with everything Jane could wish for. The walls had been painted a rich cream colour. There was a brand-new flatscreen television sitting on a high chest-of-drawers opposite the foot of the bed and the old wooden floorboards had been freshly polished and varnished.

‘He's a very special person,' Laura said, trying to ignore her disappointment over Ryan's decision not to take advantage of her obvious desire for him. It was perverse of her, she knew, but she almost wished that he
would
. She could not believe how much she wanted him to make love to her for real. It was cruel, the intensity of her yearning for him.

‘I hope you don't think I'm being rude asking you this,' her gran said. ‘But have you been to bed with him yet?'

Laura's hands tightened over the ends of the armrests.

For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say. But then decided to go with the truth.

‘No, Gran,' she said. ‘I haven't.'

‘Wise girl,' her grandmother said. ‘Playing hard to get is the way to land a man of the world like your Ryan. Though I doubt he's as tough as he looks.'

‘What do you mean by that?'

‘I suspect that underneath his macho façade your Ryan is quite a sensitive fellow. Reading between the lines, I wouldn't think his childhood was a bed of roses. It must have been hard on him, not having a father, then having his mother die when he was still just a child. Damaged children can sometimes find it hard to trust, and to expect happiness. In that regard you two have something in common.'

‘I'm not damaged, Gran,' she said defensively.

‘Aren't you, dear? I would have thought that any girl as attractive as you who reaches your age still single has to be somewhat damaged, for one reason or another.'

‘Gran, that's old-fashioned thinking! Girls don't have to get married today to be happy.'

‘That's tommy rot. Every girl wants commitment. And children. You do want children, don't you, Laura?'

‘Of course I do, in due time. Now, Gran, please don't start dropping hints about marriage and children at dinner tonight. Men like Ryan like to run their own race. He'll get round to proposing when he's good and ready.'

‘He's nearly forty, Laura. What's he been waiting for all these years?'

‘For the right girl to come along, I suppose,' Laura said, but not very convincingly.

‘He won't get a better girl than you.'

Laura's heart turned over at the compliment. Her gran had always loved her, no matter how she'd acted. Laura knew she'd been a difficult teenager after the shock and grief of her parents' tragic deaths. Not to mention having to live in a house where she wasn't exactly wanted. Without her gran's love she would have been even more wretched than she was. How on earth was she going to survive without her? Yet she would have to. And soon. There was a grey pallor to her grandmother's skin which frightened Laura.

A weary sigh escaped her grandmother's lips. ‘I would dearly love to see you married before I go to meet my maker.'

‘You will, Gran,' Laura said, blinking back tears. ‘You will.'

‘You'll have to be quick, my darling girl. I don't have much longer on this earth.'

‘Nonsense. You'll live till you're a hundred!'

Her grandmother smiled a wry, knowing smile. ‘I'll be content with eighty. Which gives you just over a month to get Mr Perfect to propose. Now, I think I should have a little nap before dinner, dear. I get very tired these days. You go make yourself beautiful for that man of yours—not that you don't already look beautiful. Being in love agrees with you.'

Laura tried not to look guilty. She longed to tell her gran that it wasn't love making her cheeks flush and her eyes sparkle but good old lust. Not that there was anything good about it. Or old, for that matter. This was an entirely new experience for Laura, which perhaps was why she didn't know how to handle it. If she'd been one of those girls who'd had loads of lovers she might not be so confused, or so lacking in confidence where sex was concerned. A more experienced woman would use sharing a bedroom tonight to seduce Ryan herself. She would not be letting him go all noble on her and sleep on the floor. She would vamp him into bed and enjoy his absolutely gorgeous male body all night long.

Would she dare do that?
Could
she?

Probably not. She wouldn't even know where to start.

Laura suppressed a sigh as she rose from the armchair and gave her grandmother a kiss on her papery-thin cheek. ‘See you at dinner, Gran.'

‘I hope you've got something pretty to wear,' Jane said.

It was then that Laura remembered the sexy red dress she'd bought. And the very sexy shoes.

Her heartbeat quickened at the thought that maybe she wouldn't have to do a single thing. Her outfit might do the seducing for her!

She beamed down at her grandmother. ‘I have a smashing red dress,' she told her. ‘Alison helped me pick it out this morning.'

‘Ah… Dear Alison. She's been a wonderful friend to you over the years, hasn't she?'

‘She certainly has.'

‘She's a good girl. You're a good girl, too.'

Am I?
Laura wondered as she closed the door. Would a good girl want what she wanted? What had happened to her long-held belief that she would need to be in love before she could enjoy sex with a man? Why did she suddenly want nothing more from Ryan than his body?

Shaking her head, she began to make her way back along the hallway which would carry her to the front of the house, and the stairs.

The sound of muffled male laughter met her ears as she passed the door of the billiard room. Clearly, Uncle Bill was back and Ryan had followed Cynthia's suggestion that they have a game of billiards. They sounded like they were enjoying themselves. Laura could see that Ryan would get along well with Uncle Bill, who was a man's man. No doubt Ryan would know exactly how to act in her uncle's company. He was clever that way, she could see. He had more social skills than herself, no doubt a product of running his sports-management company. She often put her foot in her mouth, whereas Ryan seemed to know exactly what to say to please everyone.

Except her, she thought with sudden mutiny. He hadn't said what she wanted to hear down at the creek. Hadn't done what she'd wanted him to do, either. How dared he kiss her like that and then reject her?

Okay, so he probably thought he was being cruel to be kind, not sharing her bed tonight. Clearly, he thought she was way too vulnerable a female to cope with an affair with the likes of him. Added to that was his own wariness at sleeping with people he worked with. Both reasons did show Ryan as a man
of surprising character but, damn it all, couldn't he see that he'd already gone too far? Nothing was ever going to be the same again anyway. She could not possibly show up at his office every Friday, feeling like this. So she might as well do her best to seduce him tonight and be damned with the consequences!