The Man In the Rubber Mask (35 page)

No doubt Doug was rewriting a scene we were due to shoot the following day, and reviewing the scenes we'd shot that day, and making decisions about the budget, and the costumes, and the PR stuff, and the photo shoot we were due to do, and deciding about the set, the lights and the camera angles. Yeah, but I was busy laughing at one of Craig's most profoundly offensive jokes, that takes a lot of energy and commitment.

So, in the pick-up week we did rather a lot. The studio was split in two with a giant black curtain separating off a large section of the floor space. Behind this curtain a team was recording the model shots including a newly refurbished model of
Red Dwarf
. We all had a look at this amazing model, originally made by the sadly missed Peter Wragg. In the olden days of telly, the model would be hanging on wires and would then be moved past the static camera. In the modern world, the model is mounted on a black post with black curtains behind it, and the camera is moved past the model on a complex camera rig.

I have to say that although all the shots of space ships,
Rogue Simulant Death Ship
,
Red Dwarf
,
Blue Midget
, etc., are actually models, because the cameras are so good it almost looks like CGI. Sure there are some CGI tweaks added after the original footage has been shot, explosions, etc., but they still don't look like the Thunderbirds quality of the old
Starbug
sequences. I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I loved those shots.

Of course, we had to reshoot the exterior scene from
Lemons
where we walked through the winter woodlands of Shepperton, this time we kept the cameras warm enough and it all went very well. We shot some green screen moments from
The Beginning
where the missiles from the rogue simulant ships pass through the hull of
Blue Midget
after Lister has fired the wibbly gun, or ‘more correctly described as the molecular destabiliser gun, sir.' In fact in the pick-up week we did a ridiculous amount; some of it made sense to us, some of it was utterly baffling. Jim Imber, our relentlessly energetic and positive first assistant director would just say, ‘Walk in there, Robert, look shocked, turn around and walk out, taking the files with you, and … Action!'

Not a great deal of rehearsal time, no chance of me saying, ‘But Jim, what's my emotional motivation in this scene? I'm not feeling it.'

The days blurred together but on the final day, with a list of pick-up shots that seemed to go on forever, the whole studio was alive with energy. I do not know how we did it, but everyone pulled out all the stops and finally, after what seemed like a month of pick-up shots, Jim shouted, ‘It's a wrap!'

Red Dwarf X
was on multiple hard drives, backed up and secure. As far as the cast were concerned it was done, we'd shot everything. As far as Doug was concerned, it was half done.

In fact, as far as we all were concerned, it was 99 per cent done because a few weeks after we'd finished, when I was in the middle of shooting a new series of
Fully Charged
, I had to go to a sound engineers studio and re-record the dialogue from the simulant attack scene with the wind machines. All you could hear on the sound track was a thundering racket with a few shouty sounds in the background. I admit I did feel a right numpty standing in a quiet studio with headphones on doing shouty talking, but after a few attempts it all seemed to hold together.

What was exciting though was seeing a scene completed. Although it's obvious I have ‘seen' every moment of a new series of
Red Dwarf
, it doesn't actually feel like it until you have been able to watch a sequence on a big screen. All the way through the process we all had, I think it's fair to say, a background anxiety that this new series wouldn't be as good as the ones we'd made back in the last century. Watching that short sequence started to wear away that anxiety; this looked good.

Three months later a package arrived for me in the mail. Doug had warned me it was coming so as I eagerly ripped the small box open, I knew what was inside. Six DVDs, the final edit and broadcast version of
Red Dwarf X
complete with opening titles and end credits. DVDs, old-school. I have moved on in my technology, I live in a download world. I stream video across multiple devices in a totally wireless environment. I'm cutting edge, baby, which means nothing works very well and I get frustrated and give up.

I dig out an old computer that had a quaint old DVD drive in the side, sat down, headphones on, cup of tea. Sorted.

More than three hours later I emerged, goggle-eyed and overwhelmed. I was amazed not only by what we'd all accomplished as a team, but by what Doug and the editors had managed to create with the raw material. It really lifted my spirits, the future was looking good for the small rouge one. By the end of September I was getting tweets from all over the UK, people had started spotting posters in train stations, Tube stations and even on big poster sites on the street. Craig sent me a text containing a picture of a poster in Manchester, he'd seen it on his way to work on
Coronation Street
. ‘A brand new smegging series' said the strapline. This kind of promotion had never happened when we were on the BBC.

On 3 October we gathered for a press launch and public viewing. I say we, sadly Danny was still in Guadeloupe filming
Murder in Paradise
with Ben Miller. Getting all the
Dwarfy
space bums together in one place at one time is incredibly difficult.

In a small and very chaotic hotel room near Leicester Square we all gathered together and got transformed into our characters. We then walked down the street, which it has to be noted, caused a small amount of bafflement to the passing tourists and delivery van drivers. We turned into Leicester Square and were confronted by a proper gaggle of photographers, all of who were shouting ‘Over here!' and ‘On the left!' and ‘In the middle!' at once.

After about twenty minutes we went back to the hotel and got de-Dwarfed. I don't think I've ever had the make-up on for less time, even when we've done make-up tests and camera tests I have it on longer. Doug, Craig, Chris and I, plus what seemed like twenty other people, then crammed in another room and did a few interviews over a speakerphone. We had a very hurried supper and headed for the Prince Charles Cinema where the first episode was going to be shown to a packed house. I had quite a few friends attending, Nigel Planer, Lisa Rogers and many other people I'd worked with were in the auditorium, but I never saw them. It was all a bit busy.

The preview went down a storm, everyone seemed to love it, we did a short question and answer session afterwards. I was immensely grateful Doug was there, as many of the questions about plot development and storylines were dealt with by ‘the man who knows'. I just waffle when I'm asked. My son and his supermodel girlfriend were in the audience, she'd never seen
Red Dwarf
before and she said she loved it. Nice. I asked my son what he thought. ‘Yeah, not bad, can you lend me twenty quid, Dad?' Nice.

The following night I sat down with my daughter and watched the episode as it went out. We'd had a takeaway curry beforehand, I'd helped her do her history homework about Pitt the Younger and George III's influence over parliament in 1785, but by nine o'clock we were ready. My daughter laughed, she actually laughed, when Kryten gets a bit angry with the droid shopping channel customer service complaints department. ‘That was actually funny, Dad,' she said and gave me a pat on the back. Nice.

So, what next for the small rouge one? I don't know. I thought it was all over after series three back in 1989, so I'm keeping my options open.

 

 

 

This ebook edition first released in 2012

 

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All rights reserved © Robert Llewellyn, 2012

 

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Cover design by Mark Ecob

Cover photograph courtesy of UKTV

 

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ISBN 978-1-908717-77-1