The Man of her Dreams: A Paranormal Romance (5 page)

“You’re afraid I won’t believe you,” she said abruptly, and Alexis felt a shiver go up the back of her spine.

“Yes,” she said simply, and then bit her tongue. Okay, that could have been a wild guess, too. She was sure her face was easy enough to read. But even still, she didn’t want to give too much information. She wanted to see what the psychic would come up with on her own. The woman looked at Alexis strangely, and then broke into a wide grin.

“You don’t believe in the things I do,” she said. “You’re just here to check it out for yourself. You’ve been driven here by something that you don’t understand.” The woman nodded. “That’s alright. That’s how it usually works.”

“Does it?”

“This place,” the woman said, gesturing with a hand covered in rings. “This place is usually considered a last resort, though of course I believe it should be the first. There are many things in life we don’t understand, and much of it can be explained by the things we cannot see.” The woman leaned forward, her smile still in place.

“You aren’t sleeping well, dear.”

Alexis cleared her throat. Did she really look that bad? “No…no, I’m not…”

“Bad dreams?” asked the woman, then quickly caught herself. “No, no… they’re not bad dreams exactly, are they?”

Alexis slowly nodded. “Well, dreams, anyway.”

The woman closed her eyes and nodded, taking a moment before speaking. “Sometimes,” she began, “our dreams tell us where we should be going or what we should be doing – but we don’t listen. Sometimes all the answers are already there, but we don’t want to see them, for whatever reason.” Her eyes sprang open, and Alexis noticed their violet color for the first time. “But the universe always finds a way to get the point across.”

The woman sighed. “The world would be so much easier if everyone listened to their dreams – but then again, that’d mean I’d be out of a job, wouldn’t it now?”

“What do you know about lucid dreaming?” Alexis asked.

The woman’s face lit up. “Lucidity! My dear, can you do this?”

Alexis was feeling crazier by the minute. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here,” she said, preparing to stand to go.

“Child.” The woman put her hand on Alexis’ knee as she spoke, and the moment she did, Alexis felt the strangest thing. A relaxation, a sense of fairness and belonging and certainty, all coursed through her. She found herself speaking instead of running.

“I have been having lucid dreams,” she said, and then she began at the beginning, explaining the vision of a man who she thought was her high school crush, who turned out to be someone imprisoned in dreams for all eternity, or until he found a woman who would fall in love with him. The psychic stared right into her eyes as she talked, and when she was finished, a hush fell over the room. The silence was so complete that Alexis could hear the traffic outside. She could hear a couple – a man and a woman, their voices soft – walking down the street outside the little shop. That shiver was there again, lighting up her skin and sending goosebumps all over her body.

“And now you think you’re crazy,” the woman concluded for her, and Alexis blushed hard.

“I just need to know…” she trailed off. The woman waited, still staring into her eyes.

Alexis tried to get the words out. Amazingly, she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “Is he real?” she whispered.

The woman squeezed her knee. She leaned forward and that smile appeared again, the radiant smile that made Alexis feel as though everything would be alright, after all.

“Child, he’s as real as real can be,” the woman declared.

“But…”

“But what? It’s crazy? It’s insane? It’s not what you expected? Of course it’s not. But the things we don’t expect, darlin’ – those are the sweetest things in life – and in love! You know he’s real because you are opening your heart to him already, and no one can tell you that what you feel is wrong. It’s certainly not unreal.”

She leaned in closer. “And it is
not
just your imagination.”

Alexis suddenly wanted to cry. The woman reached for the table beside the couch and plucked a box of tissues from it, holding them out to Alexis with a look that said embarrassment was not necessary here. She took a tissue and dabbed her eyes.

“Following your heart is the toughest thing to do, isn’t it?” the woman mused. “Following what you feel can seem to go against everything you are told you should want. But Alexis, this is
your
life. It’s
your
heart,
your
future and
your
choice. Just like choosing what you put in your dream, you can also choose what part of your dreams you bring back with you.”

In some convoluted way, it made perfect sense.

But there was one more thing troubling Alexis, something that didn’t add up despite everything else. She shook her head twice before speaking, and her voice trembled a bit as the words came out.

“…How did you know my name?”

The woman just laughed.  “Follow your heart, child,” she said, patting Alexis on the knee. “Don’t pay attention to anything else. Your heart always knows exactly what is right, and if you listen to it, you will always do the right thing. Always!”

Alexis felt that she could hug her.

“Now, get on out of here!” cried the woman, with a sudden, friendly ferocity that made her smile. “First visit’s free, darlin’. See you next time. Follow your heart, and good luck.”

Chapter 5
: Possessed by Passion

Alexis drove home slowly, wrapped up in a most curious feeling. It was hard to describe: she was absolutely exhilarated, but a part of her was also terrified. None of this was making any sense, and yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was falling in love – albeit with a man who was only available to her in her dreams. She knew that Philip could never share her life with her in the fullest sense. If she wanted to be with him, she would have to settle for the dream-world… and that was a place where she simply couldn’t stay, no matter how much she might want to.

But she was so happy to finally know that she wasn’t crazy – to finally know that it really did all makes sense to her, and that’s what mattered – that for the moment, she let the thrill of falling in love eclipse all those questions in her mind. As she drove away from the psychic’s humble little shop, she was determined that she would get all the happiness out of this that she could.

When she got home, she looked at the clock and cursed. The sun was setting and it was getting close to bedtime, but she knew that her insomnia would keep her awake. She was afraid she would spend hours lying in bed, doing nothing but worrying. Philip would be waiting on the other side, but her body would cruelly prevent her from the sleep she craved.

“Damn this insomnia!” she shouted, throwing her purse down on the chair and sinking into the couch. She racked her brain for what she could do that might help.

But she needn’t have worried. Whether it was the exhaustion of all she’d been through this evening, or simply a desperate resolve born from longing, she felt that familiar heaviness settling in around her eyelids within a few seconds of sitting down. She knew she should move to the bed; it wasn’t like her to fall asleep on the couch like this, with the light still on. But she was powerless to resist. As she felt the warm pull of sleep enveloping her body, her face curved up into a restful, contented smile.

A moment later, she was standing in a familiar green field; it was the same place she had first met Philip, the beautiful vision that she kept in her head as the happiest place she could imagine. She turned and looked toward the crystal-blue water, and smiled when she saw the sun glinting from the surface like a mirror. The sun was bright, but still, the day wasn’t too hot. It was one of those too-perfect days that exist only in our memories, the movies, and in dreams. She looked down to watch the breeze lift her dress and toss it around her legs.
Beautiful.

All right, so she was here. Now, where was he?

“Philip?” she called out, listening to the familiar sounds around her. She strained to hear anything that might be out of the ordinary. But there was nothing – not even a far-off rustling through the fields. She called and called, but there was no response. Now that she was in the dream-world, he was nowhere in sight.

“Philip,” she whispered, and sank down on the grass. She was staring up at the trees swaying in the gentle breeze, listening hard, but hearing nothing. She remembered the last time she saw him – he was in danger, and she vanished before she saw what happened to him. Could he have been injured? She remembered the way he had limped after the demon had punished him, and her heart grew heavy. He could be in the midst of punishment right now, in fact, a punishment she couldn’t begin to imagine, and what would she do? How could she stop it?

Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought about what he might be going through right now as she called for him from this beautiful, idyllic side of the dream-world…

“Alexis?”

The sound of his voice brought her to her feet in an instant. She spun to see him standing there, looking at her with a wide smile and dancing eyes. He stood still and didn’t approach her, as though he was waiting for something. Without a second thought she charged at him, throwing her arms around his strong shoulders. Her body weight crashed into him and even though he was much larger than she was, the impact almost knocked him from his feet. He staggered as he wrapped his arms around her and laughed.

“Well…this is quite the welcome!” he teased her.

She drew back, suddenly embarrassed. Her face flooded with heat as she pressed her hands to her dress and smoothed it down. Her palms were sweaty, and for some reason that made her feel even more embarrassed. She had simply thrown herself at him with an abandon that probably didn’t make sense to him, considering that he hadn’t been privy to any of her thoughts that day. Now the memory of her fears popped into her head, and she looked at him with wide eyes.

“After I left… after I woke up… were you okay?”

He was still smiling. “Of course I was okay. I can usually dodge anything that might be headed my way. He doesn’t take much time with me anyway – he has too many other people to terrorize.”

She nodded. Her lips were dry, and so she licked them with her tongue. He watched every move she made, his eyes as hungry as she felt.

“Philip, tell me something…” She paused, choosing her words carefully. She knew what she wanted to say, but the wording had to be right. She didn’t want to be too forward, but she wanted to know – she had to know –

“Why did you choose to come to me in the form of Evan?” she asked.

Philip looked surprised. “In the beginning it was because you loved him, and I thought you might be able to love me, if I looked like him. You might not know the difference.” He winced. “Of course I know better now.”

“But… I already know you’re not him, now. So why do you still show up in the form of Evan?”

“Well, because…” Now it was his turn to pause. She watched as the thought about it. “I don’t suppose I have a reason now,” he said slowly. “It makes you more comfortable, perhaps? And he is far more handsome than I ever was in my real life.”

She put her hands on her hips. “I should be the judge of that.”

“You…you want to see what I really look like?”

Alexis nodded. To her surprise, Philip laughed. He threw his head back and laughed, long and hard, until there were tears in his eyes. Finally he looked at her and sobered up enough to say, “You won’t like it. I’m not handsome like men of your time are.”

She thought about this. “I should be the judge of that,” she said again, and Philip paused for a long moment, then shrugged again, as if it were no big deal.

“Turn around,” he said.

Alexis hesitated, then nodded and turned around. Her heart was pounding with the question of what he would look like. Surely he was more handsome than he thought he was. She knew already that his inner gorgeousness shined through. She grinned, dying to turn around, so eager to see what he might look like…

“Okay,” he said, and she spun around. She stared. Her mouth dropped open. She blinked hard, stared some more, and finally tried to find her voice. It took a few tries before she what she wanted to say squeaked out on a whisper.

“Oh my God,” was all she could utter.

Philip had transformed completely – and he looked majestic. He had the same coloring, the same hair, even the same build as before. His muscles still bulged beneath the fabric of his shirt. But there was something about him that stood out and made it clear he would be the kind of man that warranted a second or third or even fourth glance. There was a regal bearing about him, something that Alexis was sure could not be cultivated – rather, it was something he must have been born with.

His lips were a little fuller than Evan’s were, and he was a little taller. His face was more chiseled, a little squarer, making him appear even manlier. His eyes were darker, making him appear somewhat dangerous. And his smile was different – more genuine, as though he was glad to now be hiding who he really was anymore.

“You’re gorgeous,” she finally said.

Philip actually blushed. She watched as the redness filled his cheeks and turned his ears red. The shot of color was a delight, and Alexis laughed out loud when she saw it. With that the tension was broken, and Philip walked toward her with a smile on his face. He stopped when he was only a foot away.

“I’m not,” he protested. “But I’m glad you see me that way.”

She reached out with one hand, came within an inch of his chest, then pulled back. Philip looked at her with that same smile while she bit her lip and contemplated something that had been in the back of her mind ever since their first encounter.

“You said that you…” she started, then trailed off abruptly. What was she doing, anyway? She couldn’t ask him such a thing, could she? It would tell him exactly where her mind was going, and that would give him the upper hand…

But at the same time, the curiosity had become so significant that she felt as though she no longer had a choice when the words finally came out of her mouth in a rush.

“You said you seduce women. Okay, I get that, I understand. But what I don’t understand is that you said you don’t get any enjoyment from the act. How can that be? I mean, you don’t like it at all? Or you are just opposed to it because of the reasons you’re doing it? Or you’re just… well, are you still in love with someone? Or…”

Philip simply stared at her quietly until she ran out of steam. As she trailed off, she blinked up at him and shrugged, her face bright as a tomato.

“…Well?”

He finally looked away, his gaze going to the clouds above them. Then he nodded once, briskly, as though he had made a decision about what to tell her.

“There’s physical pleasure,” he said. “Of course there is. But there isn’t much… emotional pleasure. Each time I’ve seduced a dreaming woman, I’ve always been acutely aware that it was me who did the seducing, and that I was doing it under false pretenses. It’s hard to get excited about that.”

He paused, searching for his words. “And to answer your other question, yes. For a long time, I was in love with someone. I loved her so much that it was impossible to forget about her while I was with others. So that dampened the enjoyment quite a bit, as you can probably imagine.”

Alexis let this all sink in. Finally she nodded very slowly. “That makes sense.” She didn’t quite know what else to say.

There was another long moment of silence as she contemplated what was on her mind. When she spoke next, she took a deep breath and looked him right in the eye. “But what if you were to be with someone who knows the truth about you – someone who understands who you are? Do you think that might be… better?”

Philip gave her a slow smile. Her heart flipped over like a fish out of water. Her breath was instantly short, and she blushed even harder. When he reached up to touch her shoulder, her skin seemed to burn underneath his fingers.

“I’d love to find out,” he whispered.

Alexis tilted her head back as he bent over her. She looked into his eyes until he was too close to see, and then she closed her eyes as his lips settled softly onto hers.

The touch of his lips instantly turned her body into liquid heat. It was everything she’d anticipated, but at the same time it was entirely new, as though she was experiencing the desire for a man for the first time in her life. The sensation was overwhelming. Part of her wanted to push him away so that she had a chance to catch her breath – but at the same time, she wanted to pull him closer and carry him down onto the grass with her.

In the end, Alexis did what her heart and her body were telling her to do. Still kissing him with everything she was worth, she pulled on the fabric of his shirt and urged him closer. Her knees again threatened to buckle as he deepened the kiss – and this time she let them, falling back to the soft grass and pulling him right along with her. Philip caught his fall with his hands on either side of her shoulders, and he started to utter what sounded like an apology, but Alexis shut him up with a kiss that was even deeper and more urgent than the last.

As his tongue swept into her mouth, she pulled at the hem of his shirt. Again, she felt torn: she wanted to make this last, but she also wanted him
right now
, all at once. Philip felt her tugging, and he chuckled against her lips. “We have plenty of time, Alexis,” he murmured, licking a trail down her throat to the pretty ties at the top of her summer dress. She sank her hands into his hair and looked down at him as he pulled at the ties with his teeth, first one side and then the other, opening up the bodice of her dress to his probing eyes.