The Man Who Sold Mars (18 page)

And through her, I saw the wonders of the
world through my wonder of the world:  The grandeur of the Taj Mahl; The
mysticism of the temples of Thailand and Tibet; The thrill of a ride down The
Rapids of Borneo; The majesty of The Twin towers of Rangoon; From a helicopter
the beauty of Africa’s Victoria’s Falls; on camels, The antiquity of the
Pyramids of Egypt; On a sailboat the Amazon river; The frigid domain of the
emperor penguins of the South Pole; On mules the vastness of the Grand Canyon;
The great Symbols of American liberty, The Declaration of Independence and The
Constitution of the United States ; The awe of the Lincoln Memorial and Supremacy
of the Washington Monument; We listened to the sweet music of an orchestra in
Copenhagen’s Tivoli garden; Dove and explored the wrecks of WWII ships off the
coast of the Philippines; And finished by examining the excellent work of the
students and teachers at the silversmith school in Baguio.

My doorbell gave a muted ring and
dressed, I bent over Selena and kissed her in her sleep.  I then walked to my
door and answered it, speaking in whispers so I wouldn’t wake her.

“Come in.”

Joshua entered and whispered, “How’s
Selena?”

“Doing well, considering.”

We walked to a table and sat watching the
sunset while we talked.

Joshua spoke, without taking his eyes off
the clouds.  “Tomorrow will be dicey.  The launch window will be very, very
narrow.  A typhoons moving in.  Fast.”

“I can see it in the clouds.  They
predict there’ll be three in succession, one on top of the other.  A full month
of storms.  So much for never.  Look at the clouds.  They’re beautiful.  It’s
funny, how something so beautiful can be so . . .”

“Tragic.  How’s Selena?”

We fell silent for a moment and then I
spoke, “You never get over something like this, but she’s coping.  Ready?”

Joshua nodded his understanding.  “The
failsafe device is in place.  They may make their move tomorrow.  There’s a
difficulty with — Hi Selena.”

She stood in the doorway of the bedroom,
her tears falling in silence.  “Hi.”

Joshua glanced at his watch.  “It’s late
and tomorrow’s a big day.  I will leave you two alone.”

Joshua rose and let himself out.

“You’re leaving me.”

“I’m going.  I will never leave you.”

“Then why?”

I walked to my music center.  “I’ve been
listening to this song a lot while you sleep.  It may be difficult for you
too.  But half of the answer’s in there.  You already know the other half.”

Still tearing she said, “Play it.”

I turned on the system, touched a key,
and
The Rainbow Connection
played, as I walked to Selena, then held her
close to me and together swayed with the music from the song.

“Why are there so
many songs about rainbows

And what’s on the
other side?

Who said that
every wish would be heard and answered

When wished on
the morning star?

What’s so amazing
that keeps us stargazing?

And what do we
think we might see?

Someday we’ll
find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the
dreamers and me.

Have you been
half asleep

And have you
heard voices?

I’ve heard them
calling my name.”

Sad, Selena said.  “You do and she did?

“Yes.”

And from the stereo came,

“Is this the
sweet sound that calls the young sailors?

The voice might
be one and the same.

I’ve heard it too
many times to ignore it.

It’s something
that I’m supposed to be.

Someday we’ll
find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the
dreamers and me.”

I kissed Selena and we looked at one
another with undying love.

She held me close and said, “No one
returns from a sirens call.”

“Ulysses did.”

“That’s because he was bound.”

“Then bind me.”

We bound our love with another kiss.

The next day in a mission prep room, Selena
and I said goodbye with another long, loving kiss.

Gardner, Tot, Joshua, Hemmingson and his
princesses, George and Kevin said their goodbyes with tears, smiles handshakes,
hugs and a kiss. 

And in a bittersweet moment, I prepared
for my journey wanting to be here and there.  With the assistance of launch
personnel, I placed on my space suit.

Done.  I held my blue lapis urn,
filigreed with gold, while I and launch personnel rode a gantry elevator to the
Mars Transit vehicle The Patricia and Catherine Luce.

Still holding my urn, I along with launch
personnel entered the cocoon of the Transit vehicle, traveling along a walkway
until coming to an airlock and entering the vehicle.

I and my aids climbed through the launch
vehicle to its bridge.  There with their assistance, I sat lying on my back,
horizontal to the world, at the ships helm.  Once I was securely strapped in,
they handed me my urn, which I locked securely in a nook in my chair designed
for no other purpose, but to hold it.

The launch personnel departed and alone I
conducted systems checks with mission control personnel.

Gardner, Tot, Joshua, Hemmingson and his
princesses, George, and Kevin sat amongst the whirl of staff in the more than
very busy mission control as the countdown continued.

Alone, Selena stood looking very
worried.  Tot saw her, walked over and gave her a big comforting hug.  “He’ll
be all right.”

Tot grinned at her and left for other
duties.

The flight controller announced, “Two
minutes.  Countdown at two minutes.”

Locked in a ferocious mental debate,
Selena looked at a console and saw video of me in the ship and the countdown
running down, and then reached out to depress a switch.  The countdown held at
1 minute 53 seconds.

She depressed another and her voice was
heard throughout the complex and in the bridge of the Mars Transit craft.

“Stephen, as the chairman of the board
and Chief Executive Officer, I am scrubbing this launch.  You are not
physically fit to for the mission.  Davidson is being prepped and will replace
you.”

Soft, I said to her, “Selena—“

“No.  You are not going.”

“Please, Selena.”

Pleading with me to stay she said, “No.”

Compassionate, understanding how she
felt, George said.  “Let him go Selena.”

“No, I can’t.”

With tenderness I said to her, “Selena, a
typhoons moving in.  We are losing our launch window.”

“No.”

“If we lose our launch window, we cannot
do this for another year.”

“No.”

“Selena.”

Tearing, she remained resolved. 
“Davidson’s on his way.  He’ll be there soon.”

“I won’t be here when he arrives.

I rubbed away at the paint on the edge of
the console before me until a small piece of tape was exposed and then unfurled
it.  I pulled at it and a large piece came away revealing a thin notebook’s
length object embedded in the console.  I pushed on it and the object came out
to meet me and opened.

Selena and the others puzzling over my actions
stood and watched in silence.

A pulsing right hand displayed on the
objects screen summoning me.  I placed my own right hand between my legs,
twisted the spacesuit glove off and held my hand before the screen.

I thought about a lot of things for a
moment, said a silent prayer, made the sign of the cross, and touched the
screen.

Having cast my die, at that point, what
would be would be.  Resigned to my fate, whatever it was, I placed my space
glove back on and laid my hand upon the lapis urn and closed my eyes.

And in the Philippine night, in Mission
Control a technician told them all what they suspected I might have done.  “The
countdown has reinitiated.”

The Flight Controller shouted out a
command.  “Release locks or she’ll detonate on the pad.”

A technician shouted back.  “I’ve been
trying.  They’re stuck.”

Joshua’s mind ablaze he shouted, “Damn!”
and jumped to a console.

It and the entire area in which he and
other launch personnel sat went blank.

A technician diagnosed the problem. 
“Virus!”

“No!  Software conflict.”  Joshua bolted up
and ran to another station.

As he sprinted to it, the immediately
surrounding area lost power.  “Oh Noooooo!  I’m too damn good at my job.”

He looked around, did some mental
computations, then ran to another console and pulled the technician out of his
chair.  “Sorry.”

Joshua, frantic, keyed the console as
areas throughout mission control continued coming down.  Darkness encircled
him, preparing to pounce as he prepared to strike a solo key.  “Please God let
this wok.”

Propelled by my command less than two
minutes prior, the rockets of the Mars transit vehicle lift package rumbled to
life.

And in the Mars Transit Vehicle, eyes
still closed, gloved hand on the urn I was rocked by the rumbling engines as
the display of my failsafe device winked out.

In Mission Control, moments from
darkness, Joshua struck the key, power was restored and the entire room whirred
back into life.

No the least bit pleased, Tot walked to
Joshua.

Apologizing he said.  “We both have the
same boss.”

Tot accepted the apology, the reality,
and the implications of that statement.” True.”

“Locks back online.  Releasing!” a
technician shouted.

The Flight Controller continued the
countdown.  “Nine, eight seven.”

Soft to herself, Tot said, “I Hope
they’re out of the way in time.”

The Flight Controller continued, “Four,
three, two, one.  Lift off.”

The gravity load slammed me in my seat as
the rockets of the Mars transit assemblage blazing with a purpose, slowly
powered the package up with increasing speed into the dark blue sky, in a fiery
magnificent spectacle that was a beauty to behold.

Proud the Flight Controller announced,
“We have lift off.”

The room cheered.

But, an alarm sounded, silencing them.

A technician shouted, “Anomalous reading
in engine six.”

Tot concerned, standing near the Fight
Controller glanced at her console.  Before she could voice her thoughts the
Controller acted on the same one.  “Let her go.”

Her staff shut down engine six, and
jettisoned it from the nest.

Again an alarm sounded and then another.

The technician announced, “Engines –“

“Let them go!!!”  The Controller boomed.

Two more engines were shut down and
jettisoned from the nest.

Almost afraid, Tot glanced at the Flight
controller and again before she could voice her thoughts, the Controller said. 
“Increase the burn time to max on the remaining engines.”

Looking extremely worried, Gardner,
George, Kevin and Hemmingson with his princesses stood with Selena.

Soft, Gardner said.  “This is not good.”

Hemmingson unbuttoned his shirt, fished
with a fury inside for something; finding it, he kissed his crucifix; and Saint
Christopher, the patron saint of travelers, medal; closed his eyes; and made a
swift silent prayer, while the group watched him.

He opened his eyes to see the group still
looking at him with a mélange of expressions from shocked to surprised.

“What?  Because I love naked women, I
don’t believe in God.  He likes them too.  When Eve bit the apple then hid her
nudity, God got mad and threw them out of Eden.  It’s in the bible read it.”

They chuckled.

Sweating profusely and in intense pain, I
fought for consciousness as my nose slowly began to bleed and Mission control
continued to watch me on screen.

A technician shouted.  “His biometrics
are off the scale.  Heartbeat erratic.  Breathing irregular—“

In all my launches at NASA, I had never
felt like this.  It was a horrible unnerving feeling.  I knew I was losing the
battle for consciousness, as evidenced by the rate at which my nose bleed
increased, and I passed out, lifeless, mission control lost the video feed and
I began to have the most incredible out of body experience.