The Marshal Takes a Bride (13 page)

K
atherine didn’t belong here. This was a moment for family, and as much as she’d like to think she was part of this tight-knit clan, she didn’t have their shared history.

Feeling like an intruder, she shifted her gaze around the room. She caught sight of Dr. Bartlett looking at her, staring at her, really. He quickly broke eye contact, turned to watch Trey holding the baby, and then, just as swiftly, looked back at Katherine with such curious intensity in his eyes she felt a sudden urge to run.

Dr. Bartlett had never made her feel uncomfortable before. She took it as her cue to leave the room.

With careful steps, she silently slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her. Knotted muscles caused her to wince as she staggered down the hallway. Drawing in a shuddering sigh, she stepped into her own room, calmly shut the door, then collapsed against it. Ugly, bleak loneliness dug deep, throbbing in a painful rhythm within her chest.

She knew she was being selfish. She should be helping
Mrs. Smythe with the children, not wallowing in her sadness. Yet her feet wouldn’t budge.

Leaning her head against the door, she squeezed her eyes shut. Unfortunately, there was no sanctuary to be found behind her lids.

She shouldn’t be disturbed by the emotions she’d seen in Trey’s eyes. Loss, acceptance and finally
love.
She’d witnessed a man beginning the process of letting go of the past. But now that he’d taken the first step, she was suddenly terrified about what the end result would mean to her.

Was she holding back from him because of his badge? Or was it a deeper fear? Was she afraid he’d compare her to his dead wife and find her unworthy? Did she fear his rejection more than his abandonment?

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see…

Panic climbed into her throat as the Scripture came to mind. Katherine had been lying to herself all these weeks. She wasn’t a strong, believing Christian. In truth, she had no faith when it came to her own future.

And just as Trey had accused of her, she
was
afraid. Afraid of his rejection. Afraid one day he’d see her like the rest of the town did, as nothing more than the daughter of a whore, and as a woman forever tainted by one violent act.

No. She countered that absurd notion with a stamp of temper. “Trey doesn’t deserve this kind of censure. I will not think like this.”

Maybe it was time to walk by faith and not by sight. Maybe it was time to give Trey Scott a chance to be the man she knew he could be in time and with God’s healing.

Shoving away from the door, she quickly washed and changed her clothes. Too tired to fool with her hair, she
merely brushed out the tangles and let it hang loose down her back.

For a moment, she felt better, stronger, but as she jammed her feet into her boots and went to work on the laces, she thought back over the scene she’d witnessed in Laney’s room.

Both Trey and Marc had received the birth of the tiny child as the blessing it was. They were such good men. Each destined to command his family with honor, integrity and deep, abiding love.

Why didn’t she feel joy at the revelation?

Because Katherine wasn’t convinced Trey would ever love her enough, not the way Marc loved Laney. Not the way Trey still loved his dead wife.

On shaky legs, she rose from the bed and dashed out of the room. Avoiding the other end of the hallway—and the people behind that closed door—she trekked downstairs. Needing to gather her thoughts into some semblance of order, she veered toward the front porch, then slipped out of the house.

And nearly collided into Trey.

She froze, afraid to disturb him, afraid to turn away.

Seemingly unaware of her presence, he stood with his back to her, tense and unmoving. His turmoil was palpable, and she wept inside for him. At the sight of him standing there, looking so alone and sad, a crack in her heart opened, allowing him to fill it for just a moment before she slammed it shut again with a sigh.

He turned at the sound. In one swift movement, he caught her against his chest. Without speaking, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head, the tender gesture breaking her heart a little more. Oh, yes, this man had so much love to give. If only she knew how to trust him with her heart.

She pulled away, then stared up at him. His gaze softened, his eyes communicating something she couldn’t quite name—didn’t dare name. Out of a perverse need to gain perspective, she lowered her eyes to the tin star on his chest. She tried reminding herself he was a lawman. But, tonight, the dangers of his chosen profession didn’t matter so much.

Returning her gaze to his, she raised herself onto the tips of her toes and pressed a kiss to his chin. “Trey—”

“Take a walk with me.”

Feeling suddenly vulnerable, she inched backward, shaking her head.

“Please.”

The genuine appeal in his eyes called to the part of her that could deny this man nothing. She knew he was hurting, knew he needed her in a way she didn’t quite understand. She could no more walk away from him now than cut off one of her limbs. And in that moment, Katherine accepted the truth. She was beginning to care deeply for Trey Scott—a man who would continually come and go from her life, one day never to return.

He would break her heart. And Molly’s.

Yet Katherine still yearned for him to find peace above her own selfish fears. She wanted him to experience the freedom in Christ that she had. She wanted him free from pain. And whether he was in her life or not, she wanted him to find true happiness.

Oh, Lord, give me the courage to face these new, frightening feelings. I’m so vulnerable to him right now.

Silently, carefully, she placed her hand in his. Smiling, he drew her down the stairs with him. He smelled of a tangy blend of spice and wood, a scent that would always linger in her mind as his alone.

As they walked side by side, his nearness attacked the doubt clutching at her heart, making her believe—for one small second—that being with Trey was the best thing that would ever happen to her in this life.

Fearful she would blurt out her feelings, Katherine started to turn back, but the gentle touch to her arm stopped her.

“Mrs. Smythe can take care of the children,” Trey said. “I need you to walk with me.”

His eyes told her he needed much more than that from her.

Katherine’s heart rolled around in her chest, pounded violently against her ribs. “I…Yes.”

He waited until she drew back alongside him before striding again down the lane. Clasping his hands behind his back, he walked at a leisurely pace. Light from the other mansions illuminated their path. The slender beam of the waning moon glowed small but bright, the stars especially brilliant in the dark fabric of the sky.

They continued to walk in silence, and she reveled in the smooth camaraderie that arose between them. No arguing, no wheedling, just comfortable serenity.

They ambled past the mansions and on to the outskirts of town. Only the stars and moon provided light now, the mountains standing guard, as though protecting them against the fierce enemies of the world.

Trey looked to the heavens, took a deep breath, then turned back to her. “The quiet is nice.”

“Quiet?” She chuckled and spread her arms to the sky, sniffing the refreshing, subtle fragrance of the spicy mountain air. “The pine trees are snapping and crackling in the wind. The crickets are singing. I can barely hear myself think.”

“You know what I mean.”

She turned to him, waited for his eyes to lower to hers again. “Yes, I do.”

Pulling a strand of her hair away from her face, he twirled the dark curl around his forefinger. “You’ve had a long day.”

She sighed, barely resisting the urge to lean into him. “It was terrifying, but exciting, too.”

Studying her face with the same intensity she’d seen in him when he’d stared at the baby, he released her hair, then dragged a knuckle down her cheek. “You didn’t look scared. You looked in complete control.”

She let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Oh, I’m a master at exuding confidence when I least feel it. Comes from teaching eager minds with too many questions I can’t always answer.”

He lifted a brow, amusement replacing the sincerity. “You? At a loss for words?”

“Don’t start, Trey. Tomorrow you can scold me several times to make up for it, but not tonight.”

“I wasn’t going to scold.”

She lifted a brow in a gesture identical to his.

A grin played at the corners of his mouth, his white teeth gleaming against his tanned skin speckled with day-old beard. “All right, I was. But you’re right. This isn’t the time.”

The lines around his eyes deepened, while the shadows in his gaze darkened. “I don’t understand what happened to me in that room tonight.”

He took her hand and pressed her palm against his chest. “It hurts here.”

She was content just to stand there, silently counting
each of his heartbeats as they slammed against her hand. But the look in his eyes demanded she respond to his pain.

“You had quite a night,” she said. “It’s understandable to feel a little shaken.”

“It’s more than that.”

She nodded, dropped her hand. “Yes.”

“I don’t know much about divine plans or God’s will, but the birth of this baby, no—” He broke off, swallowed. “The birth of Lau…
Laurette
seems important. I can’t explain why.”

His stricken, confused expression had her reaching out and placing her hand on his arm. “Oh, Trey, we can’t always know God’s ways, or why He puts us through trials. All we can do is believe that good will eventually come to those of us who are in Christ. Even when we suffer unspeakable tragedy.”

He didn’t argue with her or give her an angry denial, but his mouth curved into a frown. “It always comes down to trust, doesn’t it? Blind trust.”

“That’s what faith is, Trey. Trusting in what we can’t see or know for sure. And it’s the hardest thing we do as Christians.”

He placed a finger under her chin, applying pressure until she looked into his eyes. “Sort of like trusting me to be good to you in our marriage, and trusting that I’ll keep my promise to take care of you and Molly.”

She stiffened at his words. “We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you and your ongoing struggle with God over the loss of your wife. We’re talking about forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness. Trust in God. I don’t know much of these things anymore.” His brows drew together in a heavy frown.
“But you do.
Trust
me, Katherine. Show me how it’s done so I can learn how to do it, too.”

“Oh, Trey, what a pair we make. You can’t trust God, and…and apparently, I can’t trust you enough, either.”

She heard the disappointment in his unspoken sigh.

“Why do you continue to fight me so?”

He asked a legitimate question. Why
was
she fighting him? She cared for him, and although he didn’t care for her in the same way, she knew he did care. She also knew he would eventually find his way back to God, perhaps sooner now with the birth of baby Laurette.

Why not marry him?

Because, ultimately, he would break her heart.

Trey pulled Katherine tight against him, deciding her silence meant she was coming around to his way of thinking. This time he wasn’t going to let her walk away from him before they’d settled matters between them.

He didn’t know why it was so important to him, only knew his desire to make her his wife had become more than merely accepting responsibility for her reputation.

Maybe this urgency came with the birth of Marc’s daughter. Something had happened to him in that room tonight. As he’d held the tiny child, his thinking had shifted. For the first time in years, he wanted a life free of bitterness and anger and vengeance. He wanted a future. And he wanted it with Katherine and Molly.

But he had to settle the past first. He needed to free all three of them from the violence that drove him still. “When I get back,” he said, “we’re getting married.”

She pushed out of his arms.
“When you get back?”

Shock registered in her eyes, but the pain he saw flick
ering underneath that stunned expression warned Trey to tread softly. He’d made a mistake waiting until now to tell her. “I’m leaving in the morning.”

Her gasp sounded more like an accusation. “You’re leaving in the morning.”

“I got word—”

“You got word.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood, he made a grand show of peering around her. “Did you bring Laney’s talking bird with you?”

“You’re leaving. Going after a specific criminal, I assume?”

“I have to finish it, Katherine.”

A single sob slipped from her lips before she gathered her control. “How long have you known about this…trip?”

“A week,” he said, bracing for her reaction.

“A week.” The words came out just above a whisper. “And you just tell me now?”

Taking the defense, he puffed out his chest. “It’s my job to hunt down outlaws and bring them to justice.”

“It’s your job.”

“I’m getting real tired of you repeating everything I say.”

She jammed her hands on her hips and jerked her chin at him. “And I’m getting real tired of having this same conversation over and over with you. God tells us that vengeance is His alone. Quit trying to turn justice into your own personal quest to rid yourself of false guilt.”

Trey swallowed back an angry retort and focused solely on winning the argument. “This isn’t about guilt, false or real. I’ve sworn an oath to the president of the United States to uphold justice in this part of the country.
I’m the good guy.
”

She pressed her fingertips to her temples and shook her head. “Right. Of course. How could I forget? You’re a lawman, Trey. But you’re not a husband. Not
mine
anyway.”

“I can be both. One does not preclude the other.”