The Mason Dixon Line (A Horizons Novel) (15 page)

“I have
good reason to fear that! She’s threatened it many times. And it’s not just
tuition, either. She’s a substantial Horizons donor.”

“Maybe it’s
a practical decision, but it’s totally spineless. Have you even tried to tell
her why this is a bad idea?”

He shook
his head doggedly. “This is a totally inappropriate conversation. If you
continue, I’ll be forced to take disciplinary action against you.” The foam cup
hung in his hand, forgotten.

“Too late.
I’m out of here.”

“But—”

“Take your ‘but’
and shove it up your ass. I quit.”

As an exit
line, it didn’t make much sense, but she was pretty sure he got the idea. She
stalked out of the room, shaking.

Yes
. He desperately needed to be told
off, and she’d finally done it. Oh, that had felt good. Her heart hammered in
delayed reaction. Finally someone had told the idiot what they’d all thought
about him for years. Maybe it would change nothing as far as Jacob was
concerned, but at least she hadn’t held back.

For once in
her life, she’d stood up for the little guy, and damn, it felt good.

It wasn’t a good idea, but she picked up
the remote anyway. Kayla and her boyfriend Ryan had left, after commiserating
with her for hours over pots of coffee.

Kayla had cried. Carolyn had cried. Ryan
had sat around looking uncomfortable, sipping coffee and handing them Kleenex.

“I can’t believe you quit!” Kayla said,
dabbing away a tear.

“I can’t either.” She felt numb. The
exhilaration of telling Dr. Dunne to take his job and shove it had long since
worn off, leaving her exhausted and headachy. She couldn’t dodge reality any
longer.

At age twenty-four, she had no job, no
money, and no car. Her family had still not totally forgiven her for the scene
at the anniversary party. Worst of all, she had no Mason. She veered away from
that thought. It was more than she could handle right now.

“What are you going to do?”

She shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care.” She
propped her hand on her chin. “Maybe Short Dogs is hiring. I do have a few
months of bartending school under my belt.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“I’m not sure I am.” She sighed. “I applied
at a few places for a summer job anyway. Java Jones for one. They might take me
on.” A bitter taste rose in her mouth. Why fight fate anymore? “Maybe my dad
needs some help out at one of the dealerships. I can answer phones and type. Or
dress up like a hobo in one of his commercials.” She sniffed. “I may not need
to dress up. I may be an actual hobo soon.” A wave of fresh tears silenced her.

“Carolyn, no,” Kayla said. She hesitated. “Do
you think Dr. Dunne would take you back if you asked him to?”

“Hell no!” She jumped to her feet. “Why
would I want to? He’s such a jerk. I can’t stand working for that guy.”

“I know. I do. Trust me. But the kids . . .”
Her voice trailed off. “Won’t you miss the kids?”

“Yeah.” Her mouth crumpled and Ryan handed
her another tissue. “Thanks.” She lowered herself to sit on the edge of the
sofa. “But that’s my problem. They’ll do fine without me.”

“If you say so.” Kayla hadn’t sounded sure,
and Carolyn loved her for that. They’d hugged again and Ryan and Kayla had
departed together, leaving her alone in an empty apartment.

Her phone had been buzzing with incoming
texts all night. Word had traveled fast among Horizons staff after she’d called
Kayla to break the news. She ignored them.

Obviously she was in a crisis: She didn’t
even feel like texting.

She clicked on the TV. She’d watch some
Animal Planet
, maybe, or some Bravo. No
shopping for her. But the only thing on
Animal
Planet
was a show about abused pets, which she couldn’t endure right now,
and Bravo was showing an infomercial for sex toys that it euphemistically
called “massagers.”

She’d better change the channel before she
was tempted to buy one. God knows her love life had been pathetic. Ever since
ending things with Mason, she’d avoided Short Dogs. A night with a guy she met
in a bar didn’t compare to what Mason and she had shared. His dark head between
her knees, his strong hands parting her thighs, and perhaps loveliest of all,
his kiss. Memories assailed her and her body heated.

Maybe a good “massage” was what she needed.
After all, the massager was only a hundred and twenty-five dollars.

No
. She gritted
her teeth and hit the clicker. On the Home Retail Channel, they were selling
cashmere scarves from Turkey.

Wow, those were lovely. Lost in admiration,
she forgot all her troubles. She leaned forward. Eight different colors. There
was the camel—no, she didn’t need any more neutrals. The red would be perfect
for her. Not an orangey red, which made her look pale and washed out, but a
deep cherry red. The host rubbed a scarf against her cheek and oohed. “So soft,”
she purred. “Like a kitten’s fur.” Carolyn’s misery faded, lost in the familiar
allure of the purchase.

She loved soft things. She bit her lip. It
was only sixty-seven dollars and change. Much cheaper than the massager. And
with two easy payments, why not? She had a mountain of debt. What would one
more hurt?

She was so screwed anyway. What did another
debt matter?

She’d ordered a replacement card for her
Visa as soon as she’d gotten back from the cabin. She hadn’t used it yet, but
it was there, sitting in her bedside drawer like the tell-tale heart, hammering
away, never letting her forget its presence.

She went to the bedroom to paw through her
top drawer where she’d stashed the credit card. She wasn’t committing to buying
anything yet, just making sure she knew where the card was. A credit card wasn’t
the kind of thing you ought to lose. As she rummaged through her drawer, she
heard a rustling and unearthed a sheet of white paper. Wondering, she pulled it
out.

It was the sketch Mason had made of her at
the cabin. She’d shoved it in a drawer as soon as she’d gotten home, unwilling
to throw it away, but unable to look at it either.

She looked so sad in the picture. Sad, or
lost. Mason’s pencil had discovered something about her she hadn’t even known
about herself. Swallowing, she shoved the paper back in the drawer and dug until
she found the credit card.

Yeah, that scarf would make her feel a
whole lot better.

Back in the living room, she dialed the Home
Retail Channel number like she would an old friend’s. The automated voice told
her to enter in her number. She’d gotten in five digits when she remembered the
look on Mason’s face in the hotel when he’d realized she had used his card.

It hadn’t been a look of anger, or even
disappointment. It had been disbelief, as if he’d never thought her capable of
doing such a thing.

Truth be told, she hadn’t either.

She stared into space until a cranky
automated voice prompted her to continue. Clicking the Off button on the phone,
she lowered it into the base.

She was tired. So tired of dealing with
this monkey on her back, so tired of everything her weakness had cost her. Her
family. Her self-respect. Mason.

She stared at the credit card in her hand
and then, before she could talk herself out of it, went to the kitchen, turned
on the water, switched on the disposal, and shoved the credit card down.

The disposal made an awful noise and a
shard of plastic flew out of the drain. She rinsed it back down and waited
until the disposal sounded more like its usual self and less like a giant
gargling boulders.

She turned off the water and the disposal,
the silence a blessed relief. Back in her living room, she sat down on the
couch and watched the images on the screen.

That had been close. Destroying her credit
cards clearly wasn’t enough. She’d done it once before only to backslide almost
immediately. What else could she do to remove herself from temptation?

The answer was right in front of her. She
clicked off the power and unplugged the TV, unfastening the cable too.

She picked it up, testing its weight. It
was a flat-screen and didn’t weigh much. She hefted it into the crook of one
arm and carried it outside into the humid summer night.

The bulk of the TV made it hard to see
where she was going, and she still wore the yellow sundress and wedge heels she’d
worn to the Year-End Celebration. She stumbled once in the parking lot, cursing,
but continued until she got to the Dumpster.

Balancing the TV in one arm, she reached to
lift the lid on the Dumpster. Bracing it with one arm, she lifted the TV to
shove it in, teetering on her high heels.

“Damn,” she grumbled. The TV started to
slip from her grip, and she let the lid fall to have both hands to steady it.

“Here, let me.” She jumped at the voice directly
behind her. Someone lifted the TV from her arms. “Can I ask why you decided to
throw out your TV at midnight?”

That voice! She turned, hardly daring to
believe. “Mason!” He held the TV easily to one side. She didn’t stop to think,
or ask why he was here, or even wonder what he thought of her.

She threw herself at him, gripping him
around the waist and squeezing him tight. “I’m so glad you’re here!” She didn’t
try to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. She’d cried so much with
Kayla, she’d thought she’d used up all her tears, but these were different,
happier tears. “I quit my job at Horizons.”

“I know.” He rubbed her back with his free
hand.

“I told Dr. Dunne he sucked at his job.”

“I know that too.”

“You do? How?”

“Kayla called me to tell me about what
happened.”

“She did?” These weren’t brilliant
questions, but she couldn’t make sense of what he was saying. She pulled free
to wipe away her tears. “Come on. Let’s go inside. Oh, can you put that in the
Dumpster for me?”

“Can I ask why you’re throwing out your TV?”

“I don’t want to buy any more crap off of
the Home Retail Channel, so I decided to remove the temptation.”

“Had you thought about just canceling the
cable?” One brow rose over his glasses. She smiled, so insanely happy to see
him, she felt like doing a jig.

“No, actually, I hadn’t. You’re a genius.” She
beamed at him.

Back inside, he put the TV back on the stand,
plugging it in but not reattaching the cable.

She stood and watched, so damn happy to see
him here, in her apartment, to see him period. She felt like an idiot but didn’t
care. “Want some coffee? I have some on.”

“Always.” He straightened and yawned. “My
meds wore off and I’m sleepy as hell.”

“When did you get to town?” she called from
the kitchen as she poured him a cup, black, just like he liked it. She loved
that she knew how he liked his coffee. It was the tip of the iceberg: only one
of the hundreds of things she wanted to know about him.

Maybe now she would have a chance to
discover everything about him. She bit her lip, unwilling to get her hopes up quite
yet.

“I came straight here. Kayla seemed to
think you’d be pretty upset.”

“Yeah. I was.”

“Was, as in past tense?” He took the mug
from her, letting his fingers brush against hers.

“Have a seat.” She gestured to the couch,
and he sat. She sat beside him, watching as he took a sip. His hair was tousled
and he had dark circles under his eyes. His Yeah Yeah Yeahs T-shirt could use a
wash, and he looked so delicious that she’d like to eat him up. “I’m better now
that you’re here.”

“Oh, yeah?” He balanced his coffee cup on
one knee. “My presence has the power to miraculously restore lost jobs?”

“No, it has the power to miraculously make
me happy.”

His slight smile disappeared. “Carolyn—”

“Wait, before you say anything, I want to
get something out.” She took a deep breath, wiping damp palms against her
skirt. “I did something totally stupid in the hotel when I took your credit
card. Maybe you think I do that sort of thing all the time, but I don’t. I’ve
never done anything like that before. I was freaked out about standing up to my
parents, and about going to bed with you. I knew you didn’t do stuff like that
casually and I wasn’t sure I knew what to do with a relationship.”

“And now?” He reached forward and put his
mug on the floor. “What’s changed, besides now you’re out of a job?”

“The thought of a relationship with you still
scares me,” she confessed. “But probably not for the reason you’re thinking.”
She pressed her lips together. “See, I thought I was infatuated with you. But I
don’t think that anymore. It’s been months since we were at the cabin, and I
can’t forget you. I love you. And when you love someone, I’m discovering they
have the power to rip your heart out.” Pressure built behind her eyes. She
could feel tears coming but she had to finish this first. “I guess I’d thought
I’d been in love before, but I haven’t. Not like this. I couldn’t stand it when
I thought you hated me, Mason. When you thought I was a spoiled princess, much
less a liar and a thief. I want you to be proud of me. It hurts too much when
you don’t.”

His gaze was warm. “I was pissed when I
realize what you’d done. But it was never a deal breaker, Carolyn. I love you. We
could have worked something out. You didn’t have to walk out. You never should
have done it.”

“I know.” She forced herself to hold his
gaze, but it wasn’t easy. “I knew that even at the time. I started feeling
ashamed of myself, and like I wasn’t worthy of you.”

“God, that is rich.” He leaned his head
back to hit the wall with a thunk, closing them briefly. “Did I ever tell you
why my parents finally gave up and sent me to live with my Aunt Marjorie?”

“No, other than that they wanted to go do
their own thing.”

“Sort of, but also because I became too
much for them to handle. I wanted to try to fit in with the cool kids who
played video games, but my parents wouldn’t buy me any. So I shoplifted a PlayStation
and some games.”