The Matchmaker (14 page)

“That’s so kind of you,” Emma began. “But I think I prefer to walk today. It’s so nice out and I’d love to have the exercise.”

Her answer caught him off guard and he leaned forward, lowering his voice. “You wouldn’t have me break a promise to your
daed
, would you? You know how he worries so.”

Unfortunately Emma knew that Paul was right. If she walked home, her
daed
would wonder why Paul had broken his promise. No amount of reassurance that it was she, not Paul, who had insisted upon walking, would appease him. It was better to accept the ride rather than deal with the unnecessary ramblings and complaints over Paul’s unfulfilled promise that she would undoubtedly be subjected to from her
daed
.

While she collected her wrap and bonnet, Paul hurried outside to prepare the horse and buggy. Emma took advantage of the time to bid farewell to her friends and to thank Katie Yoder for having hosted the worship service. Then,
with a deep breath, she walked outside to find Paul waiting to help her get into the buggy.

For the first few moments they rode in silence. Emma stared out the window, watching the cows grazing in a nearby pasture. The leaves of the trees in the distance were just beginning to show signs of changing colors. Hints of red and yellow and orange lightly brushed the edges of green, creating a pretty picture that Emma tried to commit to memory.

“A lovely autumn we are having,” he said, as if reading her mind. His words, however, sounding forced and stilted.

“Such a shame that Hannah couldn’t be at the communion service,” she replied, eager to pursue the topic of her friend with Paul. “Has she approached your
daed
about joining our church district?”

The casual shrug of his shoulders caught Emma off guard. Certainly he would know whether or not his intended
fraa
had requested to become a member of their
g’may
!

“I’m surprised you didn’t inquire,” she said softly.

He laughed. “That’s not my concern, I reckon. It’s between her and the church elders when she is ready to make that change.”

With a frown wrinkling her forehead, Emma shifted her weight in the seat so that she faced Paul. Studying his profile, she wondered if he was teasing her. When she saw that he was staring straight ahead, his eyes scanning the road, she realized that he was not. A dark sense of dread began to fill her chest and she felt her heart beating rapidly.

“But Hannah and . . . ”

Quickly he stopped her from continuing, his voice sounded a bit agitated. “It’s not Hannah I wish to talk about, Emma.”

“But she is a good friend of mine.”

Sensing her irritation, Paul was quick to apologize. “I mean no disrespect. Of course, any friend of yours is a friend of mine.”

The word
friend
caught her off guard. She couldn’t tell whether he was being coy on purpose or not. “She enjoyed your verse,” she offered, carefully watching his reaction.

“My verse? Why . . . ” He paused and seemed at a loss for words. His eyes glanced at her, and then with the slightest of movements, he slowed down the horse so that the buggy stopped along the side of the quiet road. “I intended those verses just for you, Emma. I never meant for them to be seen by anyone else.”

Her heart caught in her throat and she felt herself tensing up. This wasn’t the conversation that she had expected. Not from Paul Esh, the man she had so clearly believed was interested in Hannah. “I don’t think I quite understand, Paul.”

“It was meant for you, Emma,” he repeated.

She caught her breath and inadvertently jumped farther away from Paul. “Now I am quite confused! Hannah . . . ”

He frowned. “This has nothing to do with Hannah, Emma. She’s a lovely girl and I know how fond you are of her.”

“As are you!” she quickly retorted.

At this, he laughed. “Oh, Emma! Surely you must know that my eyes are for one woman and one woman only. Why, if you’d let me talk, what I’m trying to say is that I wish to properly court you, Emma Weaver.”

“Oh, help!”

“There is no finer, more godly woman in our
g’may.
Together we would have a wonderful future.”

She shifted her weight so that she was staring directly at
him. Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing and had to replay his words in her mind. Court her? Wonderful future? The shock of his words left her all but speechless. “Paul! This is Emma you are talking to, not Hannah! She is my friend!”

At the mention of Emma’s friend, Paul made a face, confused at the sudden shift in the conversation. It was clear that the discussion had moved away from his ardor for Emma and to her friendship with Hannah. “I . . . I don’t understand.”

“Nor do I! All this time I thought you were interested in Hannah!”

At this statement, he gave a moment’s reflection. “Hannah?” It took him another moment to realize what Emma had insinuated, and then, with a new look of understanding, he gave a soft laugh. “Oh, Emma, how sweet you are to think so fondly of your friend. But she has no background to speak of and her devotion to God is still immature at best. She is most pleasant, I will agree with you there. But to be the daughter-in-law of the bishop? I think not.”

His words did not seem real to Emma. Was Paul Esh actually saying such things to her? “You gave her so much attention!” she countered. “You gave her the impression . . . ”

He cut her off. “
Nee
, Emma, I gave no impression.” He seemed momentarily disturbed by her accusation. “I merely was kind to a friend of yours. Any man would do the same thing. Hannah’s friendship means so much to you. How could I not mirror that favor?”

“But the Bible verse that you wrote . . . ?”

He smiled at her, his eyes softening as he spoke. “Surely you knew that Bible verse was for none other than you, Emma. Did I not hand it to you directly and say you might not want to publish it? And how could such a verse, a verse
that glorifies the love between a husband and his wife, comparing it to the love of Jesus for His followers, not be intended strictly for the woman I wish to court!”

“Paul!”

Still smiling, he took a deep breath and reached to take her hand in his. At his touch, she tried to shrink away but his grip on her was too tight. He stared into her eyes, a dreamy look upon his face. “My dear Emma, I’m sure that you will need some time to think about this. Any sensible woman would. But I would like to announce our banns after the October baptism ceremony.”

“Banns?”

It was all too much. Her mind was reeling and she could scarcely believe that this was happening. For a moment she felt as though she were floating on a cloud, watching the scene unfold in the buggy as a passive observer from above. How could she have gotten this so wrong? How could she have misunderstood that Paul’s attentions were not intended for Hannah but for herself?

When he began to lean forward, she realized that he intended to kiss her. Putting her hand out, she pressed it against his shoulder and pushed him away. Thankfully he pulled back and blinked his eyes, a look of confusion upon his face as he tried to figure out what exactly was the meaning of this unexpected response from his intended.

Emma glared at him, embarrassed at the position he had put her in. Never in her life had she felt so violated as in this moment when Paul Esh, of all people, presumed that she would not only want to court and marry him but had even tried to steal a kiss. The humiliation of his actions was intensified by the fact that he had never once stopped to
think that she might have an opinion on the matter that differed from his.

And she did.

“I am terribly sorry, Paul, but I do not wish to court you.” She spoke the words sharply, trying her best to calm her beating heart. “Any interest that I had in you was as the presumed suitor to my friend.”

The realization began to sink into Paul that Emma was not just surprised by his offer but shocked. The look of joy quickly faded from his face, replaced with stunned indignation.

“I think you should take me home now, Paul.” She moved farther away from him on the seat, crossing her arms over her chest and staring out the window. The horse couldn’t trot fast enough down the road toward her home, and she silently prayed that this whole conversation had merely been a dream, or rather a nightmare. Unfortunately when Paul finally stopped the buggy in front of her house, she realized that, indeed, it had occurred. And from the way that Paul didn’t even say good-bye or wait to see that she was safe on the porch, she suspected that her astonishment was clearly matched by his resentment. And she knew that by misreading the situation her failed attempt at matchmaking had gravely offended him.

Chapter Eight

A
S
E
MMA WALKED
down the road toward the Wagler home, she wrung her hands and fought the urge to cry. Despite the fact that the sun shone in the sky and birds sang happily as they flew overhead, Emma saw nothing but darkness and gloom around her. There was no beauty in the fields that she walked by, some of browning corn stalks and others of hay waiting for a final cutting. Everything was peaceful and serene around her, but that was certainly not how she felt on the inside. Unaware of her surroundings, she barely even acknowledged the buggy that passed her, even when the driver lifted his hand to wave in greeting.

No. Emma was definitely not herself. A shadow of despair had befallen her. She felt like a confused, tortured soul. It was a feeling she had never experienced before, and it left her with a heavy pit in her stomach. Always eager to provide guidance to others when it came to matters of the heart, she now realized that she was at a loss when she, Emma, was the subject of these matters.

She had spent a sleepless night, tossing and turning in her bed, unable to find peace and tranquility as she replayed time and again the scene with Paul in the buggy: his declared
admiration for her, his apparent disdain for Hannah with the implication that she was not good enough for him, the anger she had felt with the realization that he had already included her in his future plans, and her outright refusal of his offer. The confused expression on his face haunted her. Paul, without saying any words, had made it quite clear that her reaction was not expected and how disappointed he had been in the rejection. And that must have meant only one thing: he had been under the impression that his affection for her was reciprocated. How had she let this happen?

Over and over again she examined all of the reasons she thought Paul was interested in Hannah rather than her, trying to determine at which point she had misconstrued his affection: their conversations, Paul’s admiration of the quilt, his anxious offer to take it for binding, the Bible verse. As she began to look at the memory of these interactions with a fresh perspective, she realized how terribly wrong she had been all along. Indeed, she had misread everything about Paul Esh’s intentions to court Hannah. In hindsight, now that she had clearer vision, Emma realized that she had missed the truth, even though it had been right there in front of her to observe.

When she arose in the morning, she didn’t know whether she had slept at all. Her eyes felt almost as heavy as her heart. During the morning hours Emma went through the motions of doing her Monday laundry. Accidentally she hung up two pairs of her
daed
’s trousers without actually having washed them. Embarrassed, she quickly pulled them off the line and hurried back inside the
haus
to return to the laundry room. She hoped no one had seen her blunder because tongues would certainly wag, the grapevine claiming she was being
prideful, hanging dirty laundry to appear harder at work than she truly was.

In the early afternoon she finally decided to pay a visit to Anna. In the past Anna had always been the one to provide her with advice and guidance in times of trouble. She had been like a surrogate sister, close friend, and
maem
all in one. It only made sense that Emma would go to her, to share her burden and confess her sins. The shame of what had transpired was far too great for Emma to bear upon her own shoulders. She needed Anna’s wisdom and nonjudgmental opinion to help her get through this.