the validity of the process. Grace was ''counterfeit'' unless it grew, he said. The sinner should expect his faith to increase, and he should strive to see that it did. His very striving was evidence that his grace was genuine. Thus he should pray, listen to sermons, read the gospel, and examine himselfhis impulses, his feelings of every sort, and his thoughts. He could expect to fail his God, and his own best intentions, at various times. How he responded to his failures gave further indication of the state of his soul. If he felt grief at his failure to grieve over his sins he should be reassured. If he sorrowed because his desires to close with God were weak, he should be encouraged. Complacency, or as Puritans customarily put it "security," was a great danger and suggested that the grace he claimed was fraudulent. 22
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During his conversion in 1614, Richard Mather required no help to avoid security. His heart was broken, and he craved the comfort that reaching the end of the conversion process conferred. Finally, after a prolonged period of misery, he began to feel that he was God's. He was never to feel secure, though he did enjoy the feeling of assurance, the feeling that he had been converted. Still, there were pangs of uncertainty; the last lengthy period of anxiety came after his arrival in New England and his acceptance of the Dorchester pulpit. Then for several years, he was troubled by doubts. He was characteristically quiet about his uneasiness, talking only to John Norton, the pastor of Ipswich, who gave him as much reassurance as he could. 23
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Mather continued to teach throughout the period of his conversion and remained in Toxteth Park as master until 1618, when on May 18 he matriculated in Brasenose College, Oxford. His stay was short, probably a little more than a year. It is impossible to say what lasting effect, if any, Oxford had on him. If he was placed with the freshman class, he received the beginnings of the liberal arts course with instruction in the trivium and quad-rivium . Certain it is that he liked Oxford: several of his former students were there, and he enjoyed seeing them (though if they were juniors and seniors he must have had mixed feelings in greeting them); he admired the learned instructors and delighted in his studies. The only disturbing feature of Oxford life was the profaneness he encountered there. So perhaps, given his Puritan cast of mind, he was disposed to leave when he received the call from Toxteth Park to return as minister of the church. In
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