The Matter Is Life (22 page)

That man got up. He wasn’t smilin. It was dark, but he saw the light. Said, “What have I got here? You been makin up to me with all those smiles, all this time. Now you …”

She innerupted him. “I’m smilin at you now, darlin.” She smiled in the dark. “But you have to show me how much you love me. Make me want to … give all my love to you … my virgin body. Court me. Then …” Her voice trailed away. Mr. Niles huffed and puffed, but he didn’t blow Endora out.

Mr. Niles began to court his wife, Mrs. Niles. Many trips, diamonds and fur coats, much champagne (she read about that at the magazine rack in the drugstore) and many, many dresses, suits and coats she bought from her sister … later, she let him make love to her. She was a virgin, he was pleased. Endora was still lazy. She didn’t let him make a lot of love, but her timin was good. It was just enough lovin to keep him huffin and puffin after his own wife. He lost weight and frowned a lot, but he kept her.

While all that was goin on, Endora talked quite a bit to
Belle. See, now she could hire and fire people who worked there. When she sittin there sippin on somethin, Belle quit spendin too much time talkin to them fellows sittin round there. The light had done turned on in her brain. When, one day at closin time, Endora looked her in the eyes and smoothed her hands cross Belle’s breast? Belle looked her straight back in the eyes, said, “You want whip cream or ice cream on it?” And they went on from there. It ain’t none of my business, so I can’t tell you nothin bout it. I do know Belle had the most prettiest uniforms I ever done seen, but I ain’t been nowhere! And she could almost tell Mr. Niles what to do, now!

I don’t blive, in fact I know, Dora don’t know nothin bout all that. Why should she? She don’t need to know. And Endora must didn’t make herself like that, cause for a long time even she didn’t know bout herself. Dora was wantin her daughters to go off from this town and get SOMEWHERE in life, but she thought Endora had done pretty good for herself, so she was satisfied.

Life just move in on you if you ain’t watchin it. Cause you all know a triangle such as that wasn’t gonna bring nothin but trouble some day.

Anyway, Endora was now able to help her mama with the last dream at home. At least, she gave her money now and then, and kept her supplied with everything they carried in that drugstore! She bought lots of her clothes from her sister Windora, helpin her. She bought from other big stores too, out them fashion books. She traveled a lot, takin Belle with her sometimes, she might be gone a month. Takin Mr. Niles with her, she might be gone a weekend or a week. Said the store couldn’t do without him. I don’t think he ever
missed his first wife, but I blive he knew he was missin somethin!

As the years passed, Belle began to almost run that store, cause she was kinda runnin Endora. She did the hirin. She hired the wrong girl one day, cause Betina was a pretty little ole young girl and Endora began to sit on them counter stools again. Belle went too far, cause she cussed Endora out bout that new girl. Endora had Mr. Niles fire Belle. I guess that was the wrong thing to do, cause the new girl didn’t want no part of Endora. Didn’t care was she the boss or not. Said, “I was lookin for a job when I found this one. I can look again, it don’t bother me none!”

The worse part was when Belle started tellin all over town bout what Endora like to do! Endora rather anything than to let her mama hear that kinda mess. She was too lazy to whip Belle’s ass, so she gave her some money and sent her off on some trip to some place Belle wanted to go for awhile. But I bet that problem ain’t over! You watch! Anyway, that trouble made Endora get closer to her husband and even God, cause she was shamed. Mr. Niles happier now … for awhile. Specially cause that’s when she got pregnant.

Surprise to say, Endora was lazy, but she seem to look forward to havin a baby. That’s all she talked about. She bought just loads of things for that child, so many it probly never did get to wear em all fore it grew out of em. Yes, don’t you know? Endora had another little girl! I guess girls just run in that family! She named her baby Freedora. Dora was proud again. Everybody in her family was named after her!

Strange, but good to say, Endora’s mind made a change when her body did. While she was pregnant, and after the
baby was born, Endora had plenty time to look around her life … and she saw her husband. She saw how some of them other ladies, good-lookin ones too!, looked and talked to Mr. Niles. They was after him! Now, there ain’t nothin, sometimes, like seein your man through another woman’s eyes! He started lookin better to her. You see? She took to not bein so lazy round him, and takin time to dress and primp up for him. Cause some of them other women looked really good. Lovin with him got better, too.

Now, I ain’t in her mind, so I don’t know the facts, but her actions seem to be that she grew to love him. Stopped missin a woman to love. Well, ain’t nothin in the world impossible! With that baby, and bein a mother, Endora became a woman totally. At least, she ain’t reached back in all this time. Maybe she was too lazy to love two people. I do know for sure that man is happier, that woman is happier and that baby is happy. Who knows bout people and they hearts? Do you?

Endora turned out to be a good mother. She quieted down some from her little sneaky ways. She was jealous of that baby. Wanted all its love for herself. Mr. Niles was beside himself, he was so happy to be a daddy! Finally, he thought, here would be a female to take his money without takin advantage of him. Would love him. He was the daddy. How that baby was able to come here and be cute, I don’t know, cause she looked just like him. But she sure was cute and, now, is a good-lookin young lady.

So, that’s how Endora’s life was runnin bout the time they was all comin home.

Me? Well, now I had done found out that mongst my children I did have another one who liked to dream. He drew things, pictures and such. The stuff looked good to me, but I’m his mama. Yet, after bein this close to Dora and all her family, I membered bout them dreams and I took to takin all extra money I could keep my hands on and spendin it on pencils, paints and them canvas things for him.

I blived nobody would ever get to lovin him like I did. Cause he was lame. Clubfoot, one leg shorter. So, I said, let him dream, please. Dream, son. Dream and work on your dream. Please, Jesus. He loved God, too.

I’m glad I did! It ended up with him goin to the Europea place. To study. Was sent for, chile. Somebody else like his work sides me.

Another thing, I started bein real lonely. I see my old husband sometime, and, can’t lie, the man made me feel so good in a bed, I just still feel somethin for him. I just don’t want ALL of him! So, I guess I can’t have none. I did let him sneak me off, now and again. Like he the one wanted it. But I always come home … alone … like I want. I only went twice.

I even started thinkin I might marry again. Started lookin round to see what I could see. Once when I went over to see bout how her back was doin, I told Dora bout it, you know that. I thought she would laugh and talk bout me bein weak. But, surprise to me, she didn’t.

She just said, “You …” stopped peelin apples and started lookin out the window to the sky. It happen to be thunderin and lightnin that day, too. I members, cause the rain always make me feel like lovin. Then she said, “Life sure give a body plenty to think about in this world.”

I said, “Life give your brain plenty to think bout in this world. It’s Love what give your body plenty to think bout.”

We, both, wasn’t real old. Just tired. But we could look kinda good if we really, really would try. Well, almost good, anyway. Enough for soooommmme man! But we tired, I guess.

Then I helped her finish peelin them apples and we made us a pie, ate most of it, laughin bout life and love. Then I went home, full, and cried even tho I wasn’t real sad. Just lonely.

Splendora was one of them children born bein old and young at the same time. As a real small child she was serious, takin time to think bout things, and still lovin to laugh, play and be happy.

Like Lovedora she loved all things livin, specially them what hurt in some way. Just took em to her heart. Even growin things, trees, flowers, clouds, gardens, everything. Dora had a time keepin little baby chicks, kittens and puppies outa Splendora’s bed. Sneaked in. Endora always told off on her anyway.

Mongst her sisters, Lovedora loved her most the time. Windora loved her sometime. Endora loved her ever once in a while when she wasn’t jealous of her. They didn’t like Splendora comin late to they mama, without they papa. Said she wasn’t really part of them.

Dora loved her special and her name was always there to prove it. Splendora was her thunder and lightnin love child.

There always seem to be some deep, kinda quiet excitement bout life in Splendora. She adventured in life! Into everything was round her and even far away as she dared go alone. She liked to be alone. Just walkin or sittin, thinkin. Tho sometime she did make my lame son, Walton, go with her. He didn’t like to be out round peoples when he didn’t have to be. She was sure a different kind of child. We use to wonder what was that child be thinkin so serious bout.

Now, Lovedora loved all animals, sick or well. But Splendora loved mostly the sick ones, the hurt ones. Her heart went out to em and she try to find someway to heal em or repair em, or find a home for one she couldn’t keep on accounta her mama. Or her big-mouth sisters!

I done told you how she growed up to be a beautiful young woman, but she did go through a time when she didn’t look like she was gonna be pretty. Her eyes was always beautiful tho. Deep, brown and shiny wet. Kind eyes, thoughtful. I blive she loved all her sisters, her family. She sure did love Dora.

Splendora cried, often times, bout things and people for no reason anybody else could see. Her nerves, or her brain, seem to “feel” things bout everything round her. Sensitive, I blive they call it, cordin to the new words I learn from my lame son who paints. She “sensed” things. Thought most everybody was sad. We laughed at her then, but as I grow older I begin to think she is right. She said even things like curtains, trees, some animals, looked sad to her. I looked this word up with my son,
vulnerable
. That’s what she thought. People, too, even when they be laughin, she said.

She was smart in school. Liked to play with girls and boys. Wasn’t no tomboy tho. Just like to play with em. That child even liked learnin and her teachers. Specially that blind one her mama had worked for. Splendora even stayed round that teacher when her mama didn’t work there no more. When the teacher was sick, near to dyin, Splendora was always there, doin things for her. Rubbin her back, soothin her, somehow. Cookin special things for her. Readin to her. Talkin to her, they say, bout things goin on all over the world. Sometimes speakin in that foreigner speech the teacher had taught her some of.

That teacher was beautiful to Splendora. She was kinda strange lookin to me. Was a tiny little woman with a wrinkled face like a dried prune. Had a head full of dark hair she wore pulled straight back into a big, ole bun. That bun was always loose with long hairs hangin round, cause she shook her head when she got excited bout what she was teachin, which was always, when she be teachin Splendora. She shake her head and wave her arms, and sometimes in the middle of what she be sayin, she give a little laugh, a happy laugh, like her mind was bubblin over into her heart and a little had to spill out. She was blind, but she could see what she was sayin, in her heart. She was always givin Splendora things, nice things. They was friends til that teacher died. Years. Always close. She was sad when Splendora wanted to marry stead of travel. But, wellll.

Anyway, when she died, she left Splendora some little money with a note sayin, “Feed your heart, massage your mind. Travel. I’ll be with you, little friend.” She didn’t leave her no millions, cause she didn’t have much herself. But,
some. Probly all her savings for bout thirty-five years of teachin work.

Splendora always spent a lot of time with my lame son who paints. He didn’t paint then, just drawed on everything. They was bout the same age and she never teased him for bein lame, just liked him and treated him normal-like. Made him take them walks with her sometimes. They was always in a huddle, talkin. I loved her special for that, cause I loved him.

Now … as each sister left home, Splendora took over lovin her mama more, to take they place. She helped her mama in a lotta ways when they got to be alone. She was a big girl-woman then. She had her own room, but she still slept with Dora. They be in that bed laughin and talkin through the nights sometime.

One thing more, Splendora thought of God a lot. She the one went to church mostly. Didn’t have to make her go. She say she blive in Him even fore she knew nothin bout Him.

That’s how she met the preacher-man’s son. When she finally married, that’s who she married. To be closer to God, she thought. They had one problem. She like to make love outside in the sun, or under a tree in the rain, under the moon. Her husband didn’t. He say too many eyes outside might see em. He want to be in a dark room. They only stayed married bout six months, cause she got to know the church better.