The Mattress: The Glasgow Chronicles 4 (21 page)

“Aye, ye hid bookies’ runners and the runners fur aw the big offices in the toon centre.  Christ, every business fae the telegraph offices doon tae the local grocery shoaps like Curley’s and The City Bakeries hid their runners.  Ye could always tell a runner, whether he wis in a uniform or no.  Being a runner fur wan ae the top teams ae the day wis something else though.  Some ae the hardest basturts in the toon hid started aff as runners.  And respect?  Christ, everywan knew who ye wur and who ye wur working fur.  Nowan messed ye aboot and the money and fanny wur oot ae this world.”

  He’d telt them aboot people like Justified Jimmy, who never took a telling and widnae leave until he goat an answer tae the message he’d jist delivered, no matter if the basturt he wis trying tae get a reply oot ae wis a mental psycho.  Crab–like John, wis another…so-called because he wis the quickest basturt oan two legs in the toon.  Everywan always thought he hid eight legs wae the speed he wis gaun at until he came tae corners.  Insteid ae turning a sharp left or right, he’d lean o’er tae the side and take the corners in a wide arcing semi-circle, his legs still gaun like the clappers…hence the crab name.  Wan-bob hid hid them aw in stitches aw night wae his tales and Peter’s chest hid been two sizes bigger at the end ae the night than whit it hid been when he’d arrived.

  “Aye, well, jist remember, if ye’re wanting anywan tae go running aboot wae messages fur youse, Snappy’s yer man,” he’d said efter Wan-bob hid left.

  Peter could be a moaning basturt, bit everywan liked him.  He hid the gift ae the gab.  It hid been Snappy who’d gied The Mankys the connection wae Peter.  Wan day, jist before five o’clock, when Silverman’s wis shutting up shoap and everywan who worked there wis jist aboot tae rush hame tae catch Crossroads, Johnboy hid drapped aff his last load ae the day doon tae the basement when he realised that he’d left his jaicket up in the fancy goods store room oan the third flair.  He’d nipped back up in the lift tae get it, bit the bloody thing hid broken doon between the second and third flairs.  The goods lifts wur no like the fancy wans that the public used where ye pressed a button and a nice shiny steel door slid open tae take ye tae where ye wanted tae shoap.  The wan that Johnboy wis in charge ae wis an auld rickety thing, made up ae two wooden walls and a grille gate oan either side ae it.  Wance ye goat tae the department, ye jist hid tae slide open the grille and push the door open and ye wur in the storeroom behind the scenes oan the shoap flair.  The lift widnae work until the grille gate wis shut tight.  That day that it hid stoapped between the second and third flair, Johnboy hid pressed the alarm button, expecting tae get rescued efter a couple ae minutes.  When aboot twenty minutes hid passed and nae fucker hid come tae rescue him, Johnboy hid decided tae try tae get himsel oot.  He’d slid open the grille gate and pushed the third flair door open.  Using the latch ae the gate as a step, he’d heaved himsel up oan tae the flair and crawled oot ae the lift, praying that it widnae move aff, slicing him in two.  It hid only been efter he’d grabbed his jaicket and wis heiding doon the stairs that he’d realised that he wis the only wan left in the entire shoap.  When he’d reached the main door oan the ground flair, he couldnae open it fae the inside.  He’d then nipped doon tae the basement door and found that the door there only hid a Yale lock that wid let him oot oan tae the street.  He’d been jist aboot tae shut the door behind him, when the light bulb in that napper ae his hid finally switched oan.  He’d nipped back in through the door and hid gone fur a wee wander.  Oan the ground flair, there wis the electrical department, wae aw its fancy lights and lamps.  In another section, there wis curtains, blinds and cushions and at the far end, wis aw the bed frames, mattresses and bedspreads.  Oan the second flair wis aw perfumes and the jewellery department.  There wur internal roller doors that stoapped anywan fae getting access tae the jewellery which hid been a bit ae a bummer.  Oan the third flair, wis fancy goods and kitchen stuff.  Finally, oan the fourth flair, wis aw the gents’ and wummin’s clothing and shoes.  Johnboy hidnae hung aboot too long because, wae the place being empty, it hid been a bit creepy.  Before leaving that night, he’d goat himsel, Tony and Joe a nice new pair ae moccasin shoes each.  He’d then heided back tae the stuck goods lift in the fancy goods department.  Using a wooden coat hanger, he managed tae slam the grille gate tightly shut intae the wee hooked catch beside the haundle.  Efter that, it hid jist been a matter ae staunin up and pushing the third flair door shut.  When he’d gone doon the stairs tae the basement, he’d then pressed the button and the lift hid arrived at the bottom.  He never did find oot why the lift hid stoapped, bit it hid been a good bit ae luck fur him that it hid.  Efter pulling the ootside door shut behind him and heiding alang tae the bus stoap in the High Street, jist up fae the cross, he’d managed tae nip oan a number thirty seven that hid arrived at the bus stoap at the same time as he hid.  He’d only jist plapped that arse ae his doon oan the seat up oan the tap deck, when he’d been joined by a cheeky looking basturt, whose face looked a bit familiar.

  “So, whit hiv ye goat there then?” he’d asked Johnboy.

  Johnboy hid looked aboot tae see if there wis mair than jist this wan.

  “Who the fuck ur ye talking tae?” Johnboy hid challenged the cheeky basturt, satisfied that he wis oan his lonesome.

  “Who dis it look like?”

  Johnboy hid eyed him up.  He wis aboot Johnboy’s age and build, wae thick dirty blond hair.  Johnboy could smell the fresh smell ae fag smoke aff ae him, despite the blue haze that hung in the air ae the tap deck ae the bus fae the fags ae the other passengers.  His mind hid been gaun like the clappers.  He’d swithered whether tae jump up in his seat and kick the cheeky prick, full oan the coupon, bit hid realised that he wis sitting at the windae seat wae three shoe boxes tied wae string oan his knee, so there wisnae much room tae swing his leg before the nosey basturt goat in there first.  He’d noticed that the nearest haun rail that went fae the flair tae the ceiling oan the back ae the seats throughoot the tap deck, wis attached tae the second seat in front ae them, so smashing the nosey basturt’s beak against that hid been oot ae the question.  Insteid, Johnboy hid jist decided tae ignore him and hid sat watching two auld winos hivving a square-go ootside The Auld College Bar, jist before the lights oan Duke Street.

  “Dae ye want wan?” Nosey Arse hid asked, trying tae haun Johnboy a Number 6.

  “Ah don’t smoke.”

  “So, whit dae ye dae then?”

  “Where dae ye come fae?” Johnboy hid asked him, ignoring the question and the fag that wis held oot tae him.

  “Springburn.”

  “So, whit else dae ye dae then?”

  “Ah work in the same place as yersel.”

  Fuck, Ah’m caught, Johnboy’s brain hid screamed, as the bus took aff oan green.  He’d turned his heid away fae the stranger, watching the two winos doon oan the pavement taking a swing at each other before landing oan their arses.  Johnboy hid wondered whit size ae feet the nosey basturt sitting beside him hid.  He wondered if he’d accept a pair ae size nine moccasins tae keep his trap shut.

  “So, ur ye some sort ae grass then?” Johnboy hid challenged him, eyeing him up and measuring whether he’d be able tae take him wance they goat aff the bus.

  “Me? Am Ah fuck.  Why wid ye think that then?”

  “Because ye came and sat doon here beside me and Ah don’t even know ye, so Ah don’t, so fuck aff and leave me alane.”

  “Ah get oan the same bus as yersel every morning, jist before yer stoap, so Ah dae.”

  “So, where dae ye live then?”

  “Vulcan Street.”

  “So, ye’ll keep that trap ae yers shut then?”

  “Ah’m no gonnae say anything.”

  “Good.”

  The next morning, Johnboy hid jist plapped his arse doon oan tae his seat, when Vulcan Boy hid slipped in beside him.

  “So, whit ur ye gonnae blag the day then?”

  Johnboy hid been wanting tae tell him tae fuck aff, bit knew he wis lumbered wae him aw the way tae Silverman’s.  He’d mentioned him tae Tony and Joe the night before.  They’d thought it wis funny.

  “Jist gie him a swift kick in the hee-haws if he comes near ye again, Johnboy,” Joe hid advised, laughing.

  “Why did ye no come and join me?  Ah wis saving ye a seat, so Ah wis,” Vulcan Boy hid demanded, breaking intae Johnboy’s thoughts.

  “Ah never saw ye,” he’d lied.

  “A blind man wid’ve spotted me.”

  “Look, Ah’m no yer pal, Ah don’t want tae be yer pal, so keep oot ae ma road.”

  “Or whit?”

  “Ur ye efter a square-go or something?” Johnboy hid snarled, challenging him, sick as a pig because he hated aw that violence shit that the others seemed tae enjoy.

  “Me?  Fuck, Ah cannae fight sleep, so Ah cannae.  The last time Ah goat intae a fight, Ah ended up wae seven stitches oan that napper ae mine,” he’d said, tenderly touching his heid.

  “Is that right?  So, whit happened?” Johnboy hid asked, cursing himsel fur biting, as he watched they nicotine-stained fingers gingerly tracing the healed scar under the mop ae hair.

  “Ma big sister Jean took a soup ladle tae it.  Sorest thing Ah’ve ever felt in ma whole life, so it wis,” he’d replied, matter ae factly, taking a drag ae his fag.

  “Fucking hell, whit did ye dae, kill her cat?”

  “It’s funny ye should say that, bit that’s exactly whit Ah did.”

  “Ye’re joking?” Johnboy hid coughed, laughing, furgetting that he wisnae supposed tae be talking tae Vulcan Boy.

  “Am Ah fuck.  Ah wish Ah wis.  Ma maw goat a brand new twin tub washing machine, the first wan she’s ever hid in her life.  She’d been nagging me tae get rid ae her clothes wringer, which hid been sitting attached tae the sink fur as long as Ah could remember.  Ah never realised how heavy the basturt wis until Ah’d unbolted it aff the draining board.  It wis wan ae they big double roller deluxe wans which ye put yer soaking clothes through the bottom ae first before rolling them through the tap wan and yer clothes come oot practically dry.  Mind you, Ah widnae recommend anywan wrapping their shite-catchers aroond their arse and baws straight fae the rollers.  Ah ended up wae jock-rot last year when Ah wis still in school.  Here’s me thinking Ah wis gonnae die ae some horrible disease because Ah’d done a shite in the lassies toilets and deliberately never pulled the plug, knowing fine well Ah should’ve done, and the poxy doctor laughingly asked me if Ah’d been wearing wet underpants tae school.  He said it wis the worst jock-rot he’d ever clapped eyes oan,” he’d moaned, clutching that crotch ae his in memory, as Johnboy laughed.

  “So, where dis the cat come in then?”

  “Oh, Jean’s cat?  Well, wance Ah’d unbolted the wringer, there wis nae way Ah wis gonnae heave that big basturt aw the way doon four flights ae stairs fae the tap landing.  It wis made oot ae cast iron, so it wis.  Ah jist opened the kitchen windae wan night when she wis roond at the bingo, looked oot, saw that there wis nowan there, and pushed it oot, o’er the sill.  Unfortunately, ma sister Jean’s cat wis getting chased by a wee shitehoose ae a Jack Russell and the two ae them wur right under the windae when the wringer landed oan the baith ae them.”

  “Fur fuck’s sake!” Johnboy hid gasped.

  “Aye, Ah know, that’s whit Big Maggie McPherson in the next close shrieked and much mair.  She wis fair upset aboot the death ae Kong, so she wis,” he’d declared wae a straight face, as aw the other passengers turned tae stare at Johnboy, who wis sitting there howling wae laughter.

  “Aye, well, ye might laugh bit Ah still get flashbacks fae when that big ladle twanged aff ae that skull ae mine, so Ah dae,” he’d said solemnly, haun automatically gaun up tae touch the flashback scar again.

  “Ah think Ah’ll call ye Flashback fae noo oan,” Johnboy hid said, grinning.

  “Will ye fuck.  Ma name’s Snappy…Snappy Johnson.”

  “Ma name’s Johnboy Taylor.”

  “So, whit ur we blagging oot ae Silverman’s the day then, Johnboy?”

  Johnboy and Snappy hid sat in the sun oan the pavement roond the corner fae Silverman’s, watching the fruit vans coming and gaun oot ae the Fruitmarket.  Snappy hid swiped two big green cooking apples fae a box, oan route tae their perch, and they’d sat sucking the sour juice oot ae them.  Snappy hid reminded Johnboy how lucky he wis tae hiv met him seeing as he worked in the shoe department.  When he’d gone in that morning, the gap fae where Johnboy hid nicked the three shoeboxes hid stood oot a mile.   Snappy hid replaced the boxes fae the back store, and so aw hid been made well wae the world again.  Johnboy hid telt him aboot his wee adventure wae the lift the night before.

  “So, whit’s the score the day then?”

  “When we finish the night, Ah’m gonnae hide until everywan leaves and then Ah’ll come and open the basement door at the side ae the building and let ye in and we kin go fur a wee donder aboot the departments tae see whit the score is,” Johnboy hid telt him.

  “Brilliant.  Apart fae gaun up in the lift when Ah start and doon when Ah finish, Ah hivnae really seen the inside ae the place, so Ah hivnae,” Snappy hid confessed.

  Later oan in the day, everything hid gone like clockwork.  Johnboy and Snappy hid wandered aboot the place, checking oot aw the stock and where everything wis kept.  They’d spent aboot twenty minutes trying tae figure oot how tae get intae the jewellery department, bit hid gied up, as there wis nae way tae get through the roller doors withoot it being noticed that the locks hid been tampered wae.  It hid been aboot seven o’clock before they’d heided fur the bus.  They hidnae blagged anything that first night.  Snappy hid come up wae a brilliant plan.  He’d said that a pal ae his, Peter Paterson, wis always oan the go selling this and that.  He’d a lot ae customers always oan the lookoot fur a bargain.  Snappy hid said he’d ask Peter if he wis interested in coming doon tae Silverman’s tae take a look and if he saw stuff that his customers wanted, him and Johnboy wid take orders and deliver them.  Two days hid passed and there hid been nae word ae any orders.  Another thing that hid bothered Johnboy at the time wis that Tony and Joe hidnae met Snappy yet.  Snappy hid telt Johnboy that he’d run aroond wae The Peg fur a while.  The Peg wur the local Springburn street gang, who wur a pain in the arse, and Johnboy, Tony and Joe hid awready hid a few wee skirmishes wae them since moving up tae Springburn.  The Peg thought they wur entitled tae stab fuck oot ae anywan between the ages ae fourteen and twenty wan, who happened tae be walking up the street, minding their ain business.  Efter Silent hid finally been released fae approved school, he hidnae been in Springburn three days before he’d been attacked up near Balgrayhill.  Joe hid nicked a car and hid trawled the streets wae Silent beside him, looking fur the attackers.  When they’d spotted two ae the basturts, Joe hid jumped oot ae the car and chased efter them.  By the time Silent hid caught up wae Joe, Joe hid managed tae corner wan ae them in Kay Street, up beside the swimming baths.  Unfortunately fur the Peg boy, the baths wur shut so there wis nae escape route and Joe hid ladled intae him wae a bit ae the car jack that hid been lying in the foot well ae the car.  Two days later, some ae The Peg boys hid arranged tae meet up wae Tony tae arrange a pow-wow aboot whit wis gaun oan.  Nowan wis supposed tae be carrying any weapons tae the meeting.  During the pow-wow, wan ae The Peg boys hid pulled oot a sharpened screwdriver.  Efter a brief struggle, Joe hid managed tae wrench the screwdriver aff ae the basturt and hid proceeded tae stab him aboot the face wae his ain weapon.  It hid caused a bit ae a stooshie fur a while, seeing as the wan that hid goat stabbed hid no only ended up blind in wan eye, bit hid nearly lost that nose ae his and hid been scarred fur life.  The Peg hid stayed clear ae them efter that, bit there wis nae love lost oan either side.  Oan the bus back and forward tae Silverman’s, Snappy hid telt Johnboy how he wanted tae start up a gang ae thieves who lived aff the earnings ae aw the swag that they nicked.