The Mattress: The Glasgow Chronicles 4 (31 page)

Chapter Forty

Digger Day Nine

  Johnboy lay back and let his eyes get used tae the dark.  He felt a lot calmer than he hid the night before.  When Creeping Jesus hid telt him that Silent hid goat chibbed, he’d wanted tae tell him tae fuck aff and leave him alane.  The fact that the minister couldnae tell him who’d done it, hidnae helped, although Johnboy knew it wid’ve been Toffee Simpson.  He’d been lying dozing, when he’d been disturbed by the sound ae the feet and the crashing ae the steel gates before they’d arrived at his cell door.  He’d jumped up, wae his back against the windae wall, facing the door because he knew it wis a delegation ae some sort.  In the jail, delegations usually meant trouble.  He’d become familiar wae the different sounds ae the footsteps since he’d been in the digger and there wis an odd wan in amongst the other two heiding his way.  He usually knew whit screw the feet belonged tae, including The Chief Boar and The AG.  He’d lie listening tae the clip ae the boots or the scraping oan the flair or the shuffling ae somewan that didnae lift their feet high aff the ground when they wur walking towards his cell.  Some walked quicker than others, while a few liked tae creep up tae his door before ramming the key intae the lock and throwing it open wide, hoping tae catch him wae his tadger in his haun.  Wan ae them, a big-nosed SO called McVey, who wis the heid ae The Mufti’s, wid try tae silently creep up, no realising that wan ae his rubber soled boots made a wee creaking noise that he obviously didnae know aboot.  A few times, Johnboy hid quietly shot up oan tae they feet ae his and nipped across tae the cell door wall and pressed his back hard intae the corner.  He’d staun, oot ae sight, waiting fur the eye tae appear at the spyhole.  The first time he’d done this, McVey hid jist aboot shat himsel.

  “Taylor!  Taylor!  Ur ye in there?” he’d whined fearfully, seeing his senior stripes vanish in front ae they beady eyes ae his, as he peered through the glass-covered hole.

  When Johnboy hidnae answered, McVey hid shouted fur Beattie, his lackey, tae get his arse alang tae him quickly, before the cell door flew open, his panic quickly turning tae relief across that coupon ae his.

  “Dae ye think ye’re being funny, Taylor?” he’d shouted at Johnboy.

  “Whit?  Ah wis jist daeing finger press-ups aff ae the wall, so Ah wis.”

  “Ah want ye where Ah kin clock ye, so Ah dae,” McVey hid snarled, sounding like the haufwit that he wis.

  Johnboy couldnae remember the last time he’d been that close tae a God man.  When Creeping Jesus hid entered, the royal blue ae his shirt, beneath the white collar hid seemed tae brighten up the cell.  Johnboy hid become used tae the dull yellow, painted brick walls, dark wine red painted concrete flair and the black suits and hats ae the screws.  The blue screaming oot fae under that grey suit hid reminded him ae the last time he’d been tae a Ranger’s game, across at Ibrox.  When he’d disappeared tae get a chair, Johnboy hid taken the opportunity tae noise him up.  As soon as CJ hid sat doon, Johnboy hid known he’d feel uncomfortable wae him staunin there oan his concrete bed, towering above him and looking doon oan him.  Johnboy hid sussed that wan oot long ago, as he’d sat uncomfortably, wae bizzies pacing aboot in front ae him, asking him awkward questions many a time in the past.  He’d been jist aboot tae start slowly pacing aboot the cell so that he’d hiv tae shift aboot in his seat tae follow him, when CJ hid telt him aboot Silent.  Everything hid changed efter that.  He’d tried his best tae keep himsel under control, in order tae try and get as much info oot ae him as he could.  That hid meant kidding oan that he awready knew aboot the chibbing.  Efter CJ hid left, he must’ve done aboot two hunner press-ups and sit-ups.  He never did get back tae sleep efter that.  When he’d goat his stale bun at night and discovered nae message in it fae Freckles, he’d bounced it aff the wall, before jumping up and doon oan it wae baith feet.  Rabbie the moose hid goat a fair feed wae the amount ae crumbs scattered aw o’er the flair.  He’d also made up his mind that as far as the Garngad crowd wur concerned, he wis finished wae the basturts.  Freckles and that lot could go and take a run and jump.  When he’d goat his tea and bun earlier, he hidnae even looked tae see if there wis any news.  He’d jist bit intae it and hidnae been surprised that aw it contained hid been stale dough.  Since the God man’s visit, whenever he’d heard feet heiding his way during the day, he’d hoped it wid be him.  He couldnae believe that he actually wanted a visit fae the guy that everywan in Polmont avoided like the plague and made oot they wur sleeping, so they didnae hiv tae talk tae him, when he did the roonds ae the cells.  It wid’ve been bloody hilarious if it wisnae so serious.

  Johnboy thought back tae the start ae the previous year when Silent hid jist arrived back oan the scene efter being finally freed fae Thistle Park.  It hid also been during that time that Kate Simpson hid arrived in Springburn. 
In aw the time that he’d known him, it wis rare fur Silent tae say very much, other than tae ask the odd question, usually when it wis least expected.  Oan a good day, he could act jist like everywan else and come across as normal, bit it didnae last fur too long.  Maist people, including The Mankys, never really hid a clue whit wis gaun oan in that heid ae his.  It hid never stoapped him wae the lassies though. Johnboy wisnae sure if that wis due tae his pure white blond hair or because two weeks efter he’d been libbed fae approved school, he’d dumped the suits that Jake hid goat him and gone and goat himsel measured up fur a grey shiny silk suit, like something that James Brown wid’ve turned up oan stage wae.  Simon and Snappy hid asked Johnboy tae get Silent tae tone it doon a bit because he’d become a ticket magnet.
 
Aw the wee stab merchants in the toon centre wanted tae take a knife tae him, jist because ae the way he dressed and looked.  Lassies wur always throwing themsels at him and being the greedy basturt that he wis, he always helped himsel.  Maws always wanted tae mother him, grannies always wanted tae take him hame tae gie him a good feed while the lassies aw wanted tae shag him.  Apart fae managing tae escape the clutches ae Yoko Ono’s wan and only, bit biggest fan, o’er in Byres Road and a wee skirmish wae Aggie McCoy wan night, Johnboy’s love life hidnae been worth writing
hame aboot.  There wis a brilliant bunch ae lassies that hung aboot wae The Mankys.  Maist ae The Mankys hid tried tae go
oot wae them at wan time or other.  They wur fantastic, funny and sexy, bit no known fur allowing manky basturts like them intae their knickers.  Maist ae them hid been born and brought up in Springburn, apart fae two ae them, Senga Jackson and Pearl Campbell, who wis the youngest oot ae the lot ae them.  Tony’s girlfriend,
Kim Sui, who wis a textile design student, hid arrived oan the scene later.  Johnboy couldnae remember who’d said it…though he thought it might’ve been Paul…that anywan daft enough tae marry a lassie fae the Toonheid, particularly wan wae red hair, deserved aw they goat.  The fact that Pearl hid red hair meant she wis safe enough fae somewan like Johnboy…imagine the weans.  Senga Jackson?  She wis a whole different kettle ae fish though, plus she didnae hiv red hair.  He knew it wis stupid, bit he could still feel the humiliation ae being knocked back efter his ma made him go intae school oan Senga’s tenth birthday wae a box ae Maltesers and a card when they sat thegither in primary school back in the Toonheid.  Whit a knockback she’d gied him…and in front ae the whole class and Olive Oyl, their teacher as well.  Noo-a-days, he tried tae ban Senga oot ae his thoughts, bit his brain refused tae allow it.  Senga Jackson…Johnboy hid bloody-well loved her fur years…still did, if he wis honest wae himsel.  Aw the rest ae The Mankys knew that.
 
That’s why none ae them hid ever attempted tae ask her oot fur a date…which wis good ae them, considering whit a bunch ae basturts they could be.  The thought ae him and Senga ending up thegither hid carried him through aw the shite times in approved schools o’er the years.  He’d been delighted when he’d found oot that her family hid moved up tae Springburn
efter their tenement in Taylor Street wis pulled doon.  She’d ended up in the same class at Albert Secondary School wae some ae the lassies, as well as wae Simon and Ben.  She wis absolutely gorgeous and knew how tae put Johnboy in his place.  Every time Johnboy clocked her or talked tae her in Jonah’s, his heart sank.  She wanted absolutely nothing tae dae wae him.  If he wis honest, who could blame her? Tony kept telling him tae forget her and that there wis plenty mair fish in the sea.  He knew Tony wis right, bit he jist couldnae shake how he felt aboot her aff his shoulders like dandruff.

  “She’s jist playing wae yer heid, so she is.  Fuck her,” hid been Tony’s last bit ae advice tae him, no long before him and Silent goat huckled. 

  They’d been up at a party at Pat’s pad.  He’d been hauf cut and he’d been stupid enough tae listen tae Snappy.

 
“Right oan ye go, get in there.  Ah’ll keep wee Pearl talking while ye dae the business,” Snappy hid said.

  “Awright, Senga?  Ah hear ye goat accepted tae train as a nurse,” he’d come oot wae, keeping it neutral tae start wae, taking his time, while her and Pearl hid jist looked at him suspiciously, wondering whit the fuck he wis up tae.

  Meanwhile, Snappy hid goat distracted and heided aff tae get involved in an argument between Tony and Ben aboot some diddy fitba player, efter it became obvious that Pearl wisnae interested in anything Snappy hid tae say.

  “Er, ye don’t fancy gaun oot tae the pictures, dae ye?” hid been his second opening line tae her.

  “Me?  Er, wae you?” hid been her response, as Pearl jist aboot cut him in hauf, slinging daggers at him wae they green eyes ae her.

“Aye, who else wid Ah be talking aboot?” he’d replied defensively, wanting tae fuck aff and stuff his heid doon the lavvy pan.

  It hid been a total disaster.

  “Ach, furget it,” he’d mumbled before walking aff and leaving them tae it.

 
Efter that, he’d always been nice tae her, bit hid kept himsel at a distance.  Wan night in Jonah’s she’d confronted him, withoot her wee red-heided pal beside her, and demanded tae know why he’d been obviously body-swerving her, which he’d denied before gaun oan tae gie her a body-swerve.

  Silent hid been a bit mair successful than him in the wummin stakes.  He’d managed tae go oot wae a few ae the lassies fur a week or maybe even two, bit it never lasted long.

  “Ah jist cannae staun aw that quietness...him no saying a word and aw that, so Ah cannae,” he’d heard Helen Birnie come oot wae tae the other lassies in Jonah’s wan night.

  “Aye, bit did Ah no hear him wishing ye a happy birthday, Helen?” Aggie McCoy hid asked her.

  “Oh aye, noo that ye mention it.  Ah shudder tae think whit wid be in store fur me come Christmas and The New year…Ah probably widnae get a word in edge-wise,” she’d quipped, as they aw cracked up laughing.

  They’d hid a party fur Silent wan Friday, jist efter he’d been liberated fae approved school and everywan wis celebrating fur different reasons.  Johnboy hid goat the job at Sampson’s doon in the High Street, Tony hid knocked fuck oot ae The Stalker two week earlier, Snappy hid jist started gaun oot wae Francis Smith, the first ae The Mankys tae get intae a serious relationship wae any ae the Springburn lassies in the company and Joe hid goat the charges drapped against him fur pouring acid oan the procurator fiscals new car, plus he’d turned up at The Jonah wae Kate Simpson.  When they’d arrived, the place hid been in an uproar.  Silent hidnae met the Springburn lassies before then and hid been wandering aboot wae that tongue ae his hinging oot, being hugged and kissed by aw the drunken talent roond aboot him.  Hauf the lassies hid been staunin up oan tap ae the tables in the lounge, singing at the tap ae their voices, ignoring Alex The Manager, who’d been shouting at them tae get aff ae his good furniture.  Elvis Presley hid been gieing it big laldy oan the juke-box and everywan in the lounge hid been singing that they couldnae go oan thegither wae these suspicious minds.  It hid been when everywan wis howling aboot being caught in a trap that Joe and Kate hid come walking through the door.  Johnboy and Tony hid been staunin at the far end ae the bar, pints in their hauns, enjoying the atmosphere, when Tony hid gied him a nudge.  Aggie McCoy and Frances Smith hid jumped doon aff ae a table and proceeded tae drag Kate up tae join the rest ae the squealing cats’ choir.  The word hid obviously goat oot that Joe hid a new girlfriend.

  “Ur ye aff yer bloody heid or whit?” Tony hid shouted at Joe, as he sauntered up tae join them, a big cheesy grin plastered across his coupon.

  “Whit?”

  “Ye know whit.  She’s as deadly as sin that wan, so she is.  She’ll bring nothing bit trouble tae oor door.”

  “Aye, Ah know, bit ye know whit they say aboot things that ur bad fur ye?”

  “Well, don’t come running tae us when they mad psycho brothers ae hers rip yer hee-haws aff and stuff them doon yer throat, ya eejit, ye.”

  “Don’t ye worry, Tony, that isnae gonnae happen tae me, so it isnae,” Joe hid shouted back, as aw the lassies started oan Badfinger’s ‘Come and Get It,’ erms stretched up tae the ceiling, gieing the boys a good swatch ae arse flesh.

  The shit didnae take long tae arrive.  Toby Simpson hid confronted Joe doon in the Coocaddens oan the Monday.  Toby and Frisky Frank McKenna hid walked oot ae a pub and gone fur Joe, who’d never known whit hid hit him.  Toby hid put wan right oan tae that chin ae his.  When Joe hid looked up fae the pavement where he’d landed oan his arse, the charming Toby hid snarled that he’d better stay away fae his wee sister.