The Maxwell Sisters (30 page)

One week passed and the wedding preparations stepped up a notch. As far as Tash could make out, Phoebe and Spider were finally over the trouble that had been festering between them. And Eve seemed to be coming out in the open about her secret relationship.

Or rather … Adam was doing it for her.

He came to dinner with the family every evening now, sitting next to Eve as though he were a long-term boyfriend. Eve's embarrassed resignation to this new development had their father amused.

‘Are you attempting to woo my daughter, Adam?' he asked when the winemaker showed up for the third evening in a row.

‘Do you mind if I do?'

‘Not at all,' John Maxwell chuckled and then flicked his fork at Eve. ‘But I think she does.'

Eve turned a lovely pink hue.

‘Actually, Dad,' Phoebe put in casually, ‘Eve adores Adam.'

Eve squirmed in her seat.

‘She calls me Adonis,' Adam informed their father.

‘I do not,' Eve protested.

‘Yes, you do, all the time. She thinks I look like a Greek God.'

‘That's absurd,' Eve said crossly.

Their father cleared his throat. ‘Might I give you some timely advice, my friend, from a man who has lived with four females? There are two great secrets to keeping a woman happy.'

Adam's eyes lit up eagerly. ‘Go on.'

‘The first one is, whenever you're wrong, admit it.'

‘Yes, yes of course.'

‘The second is, whenever you're right, shut up.'

There was a bark of laughter across the table and everyone looked up from their meals to glance at Graeme, who immediately went quiet.

‘What's the matter, Graeme?' Patricia glared at him.

‘Sorry, dear,' he coughed. ‘Nothing at all.'

Tash hid her smile. All couples had their problems and foibles, it seemed. She and Heath weren't that special after all.

In the days following the discovery of her missing dressing gown, Heath continued to press his argument that they should try to be a couple again. He seemed to guess that their first brush with physical intimacy had been a little too much too soon and so chased her in other ways. When she overslept he woke her with coffee, like he used to do when they lived together. If he went to work at the restaurant early and she stayed at the house, he called her mid-morning to see how she was. Whilst these gestures still had the power to touch her, she could not bring herself to completely trust them without feeling some sense of panic.

Things weren't so simple that they could just go back to the way they were. If their relationship had been perfect, it wouldn't have been derailed by their loss. They would have come together, not fallen apart.

If they were going to be a married couple again, it had to be different this time. Their relationship had to be stronger and more transparent for both of them. And for that, they needed time. He couldn't just expect her to pick up where they left off.

If anything, she was a little insulted by his impatience and his ‘can't you just get over it?' attitude. All it really said to her was that he'd learned nothing from their time apart.

Her sisters, now that they knew, encouraged her to lean on them and she felt the weight of her burden grow a little lighter. They made sure she was never alone with Heath or drew him into conversation when they knew she was feeling down. While this was only making her lack of communication with him worse, it was such a relief to have the pressure taken off, so she didn't tell her sisters to stop.

Phoebe gave Heath so many jobs to do, he was becoming her own personal errand boy. He seemed to take the change in their treatment with a kind of resigned acceptance. But she knew he was simply biding his time.

He told her as much in the sitting room one night after everyone had gone to bed. ‘I can't throw away all our dreams, Tash. Not without a fight.'

‘But what if those dreams weren't real, Heath? What if we're just two people who were never meant to be together?'

He sighed. ‘Do you really believe that?'

Doubt cut through her. ‘I don't know. Too much has transpired. You can't just gloss over it.'

‘I'm not trying to gloss over anything.'

‘Yes you are, Heath. We didn't just break up because of Sophia. We broke up because we couldn't talk to each other. You've never trusted me emotionally. And at the moment, I don't trust you.'

He gazed at her. ‘Well, where does that leave us?'

‘Honestly, I don't know.' She swallowed as he strode away, leaving her to chew anxiously on her fingernails. It was an awful habit from childhood that she succumbed to whenever worried. The problem was, whenever she was thinking about Heath, her fingers naturally crept to her mouth.

There was no easy answer for her because it all came down to trust. When you moved this far away from the person you loved, what was needed to return was a leap of faith. And she was not ready to do that. What she required was more of a bridge to cross back slowly.

But how do I start building that?

Heath had never been one to discuss his feelings much. He always kept those close to his chest. In hindsight, she realised just how much he had concealed in the wake of her miscarriage. She didn't want a marriage like that any more.

To give Heath some credit, he could see her turmoil and let her be for a couple of days. She would have been relieved if she hadn't started feeling sick.

A lasting wave of tiredness struck her. All she wanted to do in the evenings was crash. She slept so deeply that even Heath's presence in the bed beside her no longer kept her awake for hours.

And then the nausea began. At first she thought that maybe she had a stomach bug, or that she'd eaten one too many of her mother's baklava slices. They were her favourite. But after two mornings bent over a toilet bowl, the bug still hadn't cleared. On the third morning, when she left the bathroom shaky as a leaf, she began to suspect it was something else … though the suspicion was too impossible, too ironic – that she was pregnant after only one night with her husband. Especially after the years they'd tried and failed to conceive. It was almost like fate was conspiring against her. With everything else already going on, was it really necessary to add this to the mix?

The restaurant renovation was just about done now. The floor reconstruction was finished. All they needed to do was re-paint the walls, clean the undamaged furniture and pick up some new items to add the finishing touches to the decor. She was actually rather proud of her husband's contribution, though she hadn't told him so. He had always been a quiet achiever, beavering away in the background until he stepped back and revealed all that he had done while she wasn't watching.

On Thursday morning, everyone was finishing the painting in the restaurant. As they were nearly done, she didn't think they'd miss her if she just nipped into town for some space.

‘Are you going to the doctor?' Eve asked as she was about to take off. ‘I think you should see someone about that stomach bug of yours. It's gone on for far too long.'

Tash smiled, touched by her sister's concern, but shook her head. ‘No, I'm feeling much better today, thanks.' She racked her brain for a different excuse. ‘I wanted to check out something I intend to buy Phoebe and Spider for their wedding gift.'

Eve's eyes widened. ‘Good idea. I really should get onto that as well.' She sighed. ‘Too many things on my mind right now.'

She knew that feeling. Eve and Tash had not spoken recently about their father but she knew the worries were never far from her sister's mind. Eve had such a trusting relationship with their dad. Tash could tell she was heartbroken over his duplicity. They both were. The only way they knew how to deal with it was by being kinder to their mother.

They realised, with guilt, how much they had disregarded her cries for attention. She was going through so much right now: the invasion of her home and, in some respects, the dismissal of her opinion. But most of all Anita didn't understand why her husband was slowly disengaging from her. It was very difficult to watch.

After breakfast, Tash drove straight to a pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test. She went to one in Busselton because the town was bigger, and there was a far greater likelihood that no one would know her there. If she went to a chemist in Dunsborough, her mother would receive word she was having a grandchild before she got home.

The round trip took about an hour and a half. She killed an extra hour doing some shopping, just to make her trip more authentic before returning home. Everyone was still at the restaurant, so it was easy enough to slip into the bathroom and pee on a stick.

It then took her another hour to get her head around the result.

She was still sitting in her bedroom trying to process it when there was a rap on the door. She stiffened immediately.

Heath?

‘Tash, it's Eve. Are you okay?'

‘Eve,' she breathed.

‘Can I come in?' Her sister didn't wait before tentatively opening the door and sticking her head around it. ‘I wanted to know –' Her voice broke off as her expression morphed into concern. ‘Hey.' She opened the door more fully. ‘What's wrong? You look awful.'

Tash tried, she really did. But for the life of her she could not control the dam as it burst. Tears flowed freely. Heavy sobs racked her body.

‘Oh, Tash.' Eve shut the door and flew to her side, arms cradling her trembling body.

‘I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do,' she chanted. ‘It's all I ever wanted … just not right now.'

‘What's happening right now?' Eve stroked her hair. ‘Has Heath said something to make you upset?'

‘No, not really.' She gulped in air. ‘Heath thinks we should get back together.'

Eve rubbed her back. ‘And you don't want to?'

‘I don't know. We've been through so much. I think there's a lot we need to work through before I can trust myself with him again.'

‘Is that what's upsetting you?' Eve asked gently.

‘Not precisely. You see,' she paused before whispering, ‘I'm pregnant.'

Eve gasped. ‘But I thought you guys –'

‘Don't ask.' Tash shook her head. ‘It was one time, when we first arrived at Tawny Brooks. I can't explain it.'

Eve gripped her hand. ‘It's okay, you don't have to. Just let me know how I can help you.'

Tash shut her eyes against the panic welling up inside her. ‘This is all happening at such a difficult time. I don't know where my life is headed right now … and now, a baby too?'

‘Does Heath know about this?'

‘No.' Tash shook her head. ‘I only just confirmed it myself. I don't know how to tell him. I didn't think we would have to go through this again so soon.'

Eve pulled back slightly. ‘What do you mean by
again
?'

Tash gazed heavenward. ‘Eve, I didn't tell you this before. Actually I didn't tell anyone, but this is my second pregnancy. Heath and I lost the first baby. That's why we started having problems. We …' She took a breath. ‘We didn't deal with it very well.'

‘Oh, Tash,' Eve said, before throwing her arms about her sister again and pressing a kiss into her hair. ‘You poor thing.' She reached around her to grab some tissues by the bedside as Tash's tears began to fall in earnest.

Tash took the offered tissues, wiped her face and blew her nose.

‘Why didn't you tell anyone?' Eve rubbed her leg. ‘We could have supported you.'

‘It was a strange in-between time. I was only twelve weeks along. We were just getting to that stage where we were going to start telling people. So when I lost the baby I guess I just completely shut down.'

‘And how did Heath take it?'

‘He just wanted to move on, put it behind us. He was constantly trying to take my mind off her … our daughter. In hindsight, I can see that he had his own way of grieving, but at the time I found his insensitivity too harsh.'

‘So that's why you separated?'

Tash hiccupped. ‘Basically. There were other factors too. I thought he blamed me because I was such a workaholic. I blamed myself too. After the separation happened, I lost my job anyway and I just felt ashamed. I felt like I'd dropped the ball and let everyone down. I couldn't face it.'

‘We let you down,' Eve said fiercely. ‘I thought you were still giving me the silent treatment because of the restaurant. The truth was that you had bigger problems and I was so obsessed with my own issues I didn't look out for you. I feel like an idiot.'

Tash hugged her back. ‘We're all guilty of a little self-obsession sometimes. Don't put that on yourself. If there's one thing this trip home has taught me, it's that blaming yourself is such a waste of energy.'

They were silent for a moment, just holding each other and drinking in the comfort the other provided. Tash knew she should be thinking about what step she should take next but couldn't find the energy to do anything more than sit.

‘Where's Phee when you need her?' Eve sighed. ‘She'd find the silver lining in this cloud faster than you can say …'

‘Aunty?' Tash suggested tentatively.

‘That's the spirit,' Eve nodded and then jumped off the bed, shoving Tash's shoulder in a very realistic impersonation of their younger sister. ‘Really?' she gasped with Phoebe's wide-eyed enthusiasm. ‘I'm going to be an aunty? But this is amazing! We can go shopping. Baby clothes are so cute. It's going to be so much fun. I can't wait.'

Tash laughed, her mood lightening. ‘Phoebe would love to see you do that. You've got the tone just perfect.'

Eve grinned. ‘Thanks, but seriously, Tash, you have to focus on the positives. This baby is a gift.'

‘You're right.' Tash sat up a little straighter. ‘I want this child more than anything. It's just …'