The Maze (ATCOM) (14 page)

What
did she have to offer a man like Noah? He knew her as an agent, not as a woman.
What would he do if he discovered she had nightmares every night and heard Seth
whispering to her when she slept?

He
already knew her past. There would be no explaining what she used to do for a
living or what had happened in South American. What he didn’t know was what
Carlos had done to her over the course of the months she was undercover. No one
knew. Not Uncle Jed and not Brendan. She had endured, so why hurt them with the
truth?

They
had seen enough when she had been rescued and taken to the hospital. She would
never forget the anguish in Uncle Jed’s eyes when he looked at her in that
hospital bed. She never wanted to see that pain in his eyes again. If she had
to live with her nightmares, then so be it, but she wasn’t going to destroy the
man who had raised her.

Brendan
had masked his pain in the hospital behind a wry grin and a joke or two, but
she had seen past it to the despair he tried to hide from her. It had hurt him
to see her like that and she saw the regret in his eyes. He blamed himself for
encouraging her to become an agent in the first place and for not protecting
her.

She
had never needed protecting, but Brendan and Uncle Jed had always tried. She
loved them for it but always thought it misplaced. She had always been able to
hold her own and take care of herself. If she told them what really happened
during those months, they would lock her up forever and throw away the key.
Then she would have to live with the pain she caused them. She wasn’t going to
do that. She could handle this. Eventually, it would go away and she would be
able to move on. Time healed all wounds, wasn’t that the way it went?

Suddenly
very tired, Attie dropped to the ground and rested her head on her drawn-up
knees. She wasn’t prepared for this. She couldn’t handle Carlos and Noah at the
same time. Noah’s thigh brushed hers as he sat beside her. The electric shocks
she felt every time they touched were too much right now. What she really
wanted was to be alone. Preferably back home in the barn.

Noah’s
shoulder bumped hers. God, he just didn’t know when to stop.

“Hey,”
he said.

“Leave
me alone. Please.”

Silence.
“I’m sorry.”

Attie’s
head snapped up. That was the last thing she’d expected him to say. The last
thing she wanted him to say. It made her vulnerable. Made him seem more human
than machine. It knocked her off balance. Not a good thing. She already
teetered on the edge.

“Sorry
for what?”

His
eyes met hers and offered solace. No. Not falling into his trap. She tamped
down the urge to lose herself in his steady gaze, and dropped her eyes.

“For
everything.”

Her
stomach clenched. She definitely couldn’t do this right now. It was easier to
be angry at him. When he offered shelter from the storm raging inside her, she
was lost.

“You
don’t even know what ‘everything’ is, so save it.”

“Then
tell me.”

His
eyes urged her to tell all and for a moment she almost did, but then she came
to her senses and shot to her feet.

“I
can’t,” she whispered and walked away.

He
didn’t try to stop her this time.

* * * *

Noah
watched Attie stroll over to the camera in the corner and look up at it, hands
on hips.

“Your
pet is dead, Carlos. As you can see, we are not,” she called out. “What are you
waiting for? Let’s get this over with. I’ve played this game before. Do you
think it scares me?”

Noah
groaned. Nothing like antagonizing the enemy. His gaze slid over her. Her wet
clothes clung to her slender curves like a second skin. Hard to believe she had
spent months recovering in the hospital not long ago. He still remembered the shape
she had been in when he walked inside that dark cell that day. It haunted his
dreams.

Absently
he rubbed his shoulder where he’d taken a bullet that day. His reminder of what
happened and of his mistakes. He should have done something long before. Then
maybe Seth would be alive and Attie wouldn’t be retired and suffering. Hell,
she wouldn’t have been tortured at all if he’d done things differently. He
should have insisted she put more details in her reports. Dammit, he should
have known.

Attie
wasn’t the only one who had nightmares about South America. He had woken up in
a sweat more than once throughout the past year calling out her name. In his
dreams he didn’t get there soon enough and she and Seth both ended up dead. He
saw Attie broken and bloody, reaching for him, but he could never reach her and
eventually she slipped away.

He
knew she would hate it that he dreamt of her as a woman who needed him and not
a soldier. He hadn’t been there when she needed him, and for that he couldn’t
let her down again. It was part of the reason he insisted on being the one to
go after Brendan. He wasn’t going to fail her again. She may be angry with him,
but he didn’t regret the decision. God knew what would have happened to her if
he hadn’t.

“…you’re
going to have to try harder than that to get to me,” Attie was saying.

“Atalanta,
I’m not trying to get to you. That’s not what this is about. I’m simply
entertaining a fantasy. So far I am very impressed with your performance.”
Santiago’s voice echoed through the room.

“And
punishing me, can’t forget that part,” Attie said.

“That
too. Now tell me, what fun would all of this be if you were to fail this early
in the game?”

“If
you’re not trying to kill us, then where’s our food and water? We can’t keep
going without it.”

“I
work on a reward system, remember? You can’t have forgotten how fair I was to
my employees. When the mice succeed I reward them. Keeps them motivated.”

“And
if the mice fail?”

“Then
they are punished.”

“But
we’re already being punished.”

“Ah,
but that is different. Imagine the possibilities.”

Noah
could imagine and he didn’t like anything he came up with. By the stiffening of
Attie’s spine, neither did she. That didn’t stop her from taking a step
forward.

“Then
I guess we won’t fail.” She had no intention of backing down or losing this
game. And neither did he.

“That’s
the spirit. Now, your meal is being brought in. Don’t bother trying to attack
my guards or I will be forced to express my displeasure on your brother.”

Attie
went ramrod straight. Noah rose to his feet and took a step toward her. She
wasn’t in any immediate danger. He couldn’t stop Santiago from using Brendan to
keep Attie in line.

“Leave
Brendan out of this, Carlos. I’m the one that betrayed you. Any punishment you
have, you give to me.”

Noah
moved to her side, standing a mere step behind her.

“Ah,
Noah, showing your support, I see. The silent partner that always seems to be
there when Atalanta needs you. Tell me, do you think she needs you now?”

Noah
felt Attie’s eyes on him, but he focused on the camera. “No, I don’t. She’s
seems pretty capable of handling things on her own.”

There
was a moment of silence before Santiago spoke again.

“Have
you ever heard the expression ‘the eyes are the windows into the soul,’ Noah?”

Noah
didn’t bother to answer.

“I
see what your eyes are telling me, but what I want to know is, does Atalanta
know?”

Noah
felt Attie tensed beside him and turn a questioning frown to him, but he didn’t
look at her. He stared directly into the camera. Santiago was trying to get a
hold on him but he wasn’t playing along. Let the bastard wonder.

Attie
turned to Noah. “What is he talking about?”

“Nothing.”

Her
eyes narrowed. Some secrets were better left unsaid. Noah knew he was good at
hiding his feelings, but Santiago’s comment made him wonder. Could the man see
the attraction he felt for Attie? The thought didn’t settle well. The last
thing he wanted to do was underestimate Santiago. Or give him ammunition.

“She
doesn’t know,” Santiago murmured. “Oh, this is priceless. I can’t tell you how
pleased I am with this new revelation. It will add a certain…element to the
game. I have done you a great service by allowing you to have Atalanta for the
night, but remember one thing: she belongs to me. I insist that you remember
the favor when I call upon it.”

Like
hell he would. Noah had requested her for her sake, not his.

“What
the hell is he talking about?” Attie demanded, squeezing his forearm.

“Nothing,
he’s trying to get a rise out of me. You’re playing into his hand.”

“Nice
try. You’re a good liar, Kincaid, but not that good. He sees something that I
don’t. What are you hiding?”

“Drop
it, Attie.”

“I
hate secrets.”

He
pinned her with a hard stare. “Really? Well, you should be more understanding
because you have a mountain of secrets buried inside you.”

He
got exactly what he’d expected for that. A scorching glare and a left jab to
his ribs. Attie didn’t go for the classic slap across the face; she played
dirty and made her mark count. And it did. He grunted when her fist met his
flesh and met her glare, unrepentant. He needed her mind on something else
besides Santiago and the truth about his feelings for her.

“Carlos
may not be able to get a rise out of the indestructible Rock but I can,” Attie
taunted. “Tell me.”

Behind
her a door slid open. “Heads up. We’re going to have to finish this later.”

“God,
doesn’t anything rattle your cage?” Attie breathed in frustration.

If
only she knew how the very sight of her shook his control. She was stunning
when riled. Her green eyes glowed with emotion, her cheeks flushed with color.

“Have
you ever seen my cage rattled?” he asked quietly as four armed guards wheeled
in a service cart full of food and drink. It felt odd to be standing in the
middle of a jungle paradise receiving room service.

“No,
and it’s driving me crazy. You aren’t a machine.”

He
didn’t tell her that being a machine kept him alive. If his training hadn’t
kicked in the day he found her in Santiago’s cell he doubted they would have
made it out in one piece.

“This
situation demands our full attention, Attie. We can’t afford to lose sight of
that.”

Her
eyes narrowed. “Are you saying I’m losing sight?”

“Yes.
Let me finish,” he insisted when she opened her mouth to speak. “And with good
reason. You’ve been through hell and it’s taken its toll. It would on anyone
who survived what you did, but you have to stay focused. If you go off
half-cocked it could cost us our lives.”

“I
do not go off half-cocked,” she flared. “How can you accuse me of that? You
know me better than that. I know exactly what we’re up against. I don’t need
you to remind me. Save your lectures. I’m no longer in a position to take
orders from you.”

Noah
stepped closer, bearing down on her. She didn’t back down. Attie never had
intimidated easily.

“You
changed.”

“So
did you,” she countered, tilting her chin up a notch.

The
guards left through the same door they had entered without either of them
caring.

“No,
Attie, I’m the same man.”

To
his surprise tears welled in her eyes, something he had never seen happen
before. It stunned him into silence and held him captive to see those lovely
green eyes glisten. He wanted to pull her into his arms and apologize, tell her
to let it out, but his arms refused to cooperate so he stood there, toe to toe,
waiting for her to speak.

In
a low, cold voice she said, “If you were the same man, then you wouldn’t have
aborted my mission and destroyed my life.”

Chapter
13

Noah
stared at Attie’s retreating back, stunned. She blamed him for ruining her
life? He knew her career was important to her and she put it first above
anything else, but he hadn’t realized it was her life. Did she place it above
Jed and Brendan too? If her career was so damn important, then why did she
retire?

He
didn’t have to wonder what orders she was talking about. He knew. She blamed
him for pulling her out of South America, but dammit, he hadn’t been wrong to
do it. In fact he should have done it sooner. Maybe then she would still be an
agent and they wouldn’t be here playing a madman’s deadly game.

Raking
a hand through his wet hair, he watched her pick up a sandwich and bite into it
as if it held no appeal whatsoever. She chewed mechanically and swallowed hard.

Sensing
his gaze, she turned her head and glared at him. “I’ll hold my own, Kincaid, I
haven’t lost my edge.”

He
said nothing, waiting.

“Look,
I may detest having you here, but get this straight. I know what we’re up
against and what I have to do. I don’t like having you at my side, but for
Brendan’s sake I’ll go along with it. Whatever it takes. Got that?”

“Nice
speech, Devayne, but it’s lacking one thing.”

“What’s
that?”

Noah
crossed the room in two strides and pulled her against him. He lowered his head
so that his mouth was only inches from hers. Their breath mingled and Attie’s
lips thinned. She knew exactly where he was going with this and she didn’t like
being called on it. They both knew she wasn’t telling the truth. Getting her to
admit it was a whole other story.

Softly,
he said, “You don’t detest me.”

Her
eyes narrowed but she didn’t step back. He knew she wouldn’t.

“Yes,
I do.”

“Prove
it,” he challenged, dipping his head so that his mouth whispered over hers. He
was pushing her again, but he refused to let her pull away from him. He didn’t
care if she blamed him, but he wasn’t going to let her lie to herself about the
chemistry between them. The past aside, they were attracted to each other.
Little by little he would break through her walls.

“What
is kissing me going to prove?”

“Let’s
find out.”

“You
can’t stand it, can you?” she whispered, her lips brushing his as she spoke and
creating a deliciously erotic sensation.

“What?”

“Not
being able to control me and everything around you. You can’t accept it.”

Their
bodies aligned, melded together on their own accord. He bent her over his arm.
Still she didn’t pull away.

Stubborn,
stubborn woman.

“I’ll
hand over the reins if you want to be on top,” he murmured, licking the corner
of her mouth and enjoying the way her breath hitched.

“That’s
not what I meant and it’s never going to happen. Not between us.”

Noah
feathered his lips over hers and felt her nipples harden against his chest. She
wasn’t immune. He just needed to prove it to her.

“What
are you afraid of, Attie?” he chided softly. “Everything aside, we would be
dynamite in bed.”

“Yeah,
like TNT,” she scoffed.

“Yes.”

“You
don’t scare me.”

Noah
tightened his arm around her waist, drawing a gasp from her lips.

“I
think I do.”

“Never.”

Ignoring
her antagonistic tone, he nuzzled the hollow beneath her ear. Against her skin
he murmured, “Want to know what I think?”

“No.”
It came out a low, frustrated moan.

“I
think you’re denying that you want to make love to me because you’re afraid of
getting close to anyone for fear they might learn all the secrets you have
buried inside you. You fear what I might see.”

Attie’s
eyes narrowed as she pulled back slightly. “I wouldn’t let you get that close.”

“Is
that a challenge?” He dipped her over his arm, forcing her to grab onto his
shoulders for balance. Her eyes widened at the unexpected move. Noah grinned at
the stunned expression on her face and lowered his head until their lips almost
touched. “You know I can’t resist a challenge.”

She
swallowed hard and licked her lips.

“And
you know I hate to lose.”

“So
do I, Kincaid.”

“Then
let the games begin,” he whispered and swung her at an arc out of his arms. She
had anticipated his kiss; he’d seen her chin tilt and her pupils dilate, but he
wanted to keep her on her toes. Expect the unexpected. There were more ways
than one to get past her defenses.

The
sound of clapping filled the room.

“Very
nice,” Santiago’s voice came through the speaker. “There is much more to you
than meets the eye, Noah. How did you like the ending? A little romantic, I
must say.”

Attie
picked up a glass of iced tea and took a long drink before answering. “None of
your business, Carlos. Should we be careful of what we eat here, or is the food
safe?”

“I
assure you, there is nothing on that tray that will harm you.”

“Right.
That would ruin all the fun, wouldn’t it?”

“Eat,
enjoy. Noah, a word?”

Attie
sent him a frown before picking up a sandwich. Noah moved into place beside
her.

“What
is it?” he asked, biting into a Monte Cristo.

“I
feel I need to remind you that Atalanta belongs to me. I gave her to you for
one night, not for the taking, so if you would kindly keep your hands to
yourself.”

Taking
his time to finish chewing, Noah looked directly into the camera. Did Santiago
really believe Attie belonged to him? He didn’t bother to reply and took
another bite.

Attie
took a step toward the camera. “I don’t belong to you, Carlos. Haven’t we been
over this already? I’m not yours to give away and I choose my own lovers.”

“A
bold stand, although futile. You are mine to do with as I please.”

“Only
until this is over.”

This
was all part of Santiago’s game. He could antagonize Attie with a few simple
words and would continue to do so just to get a rise out of her. Or did he
believe everything he said? He certainly sounded convincing when he said it. In
his mind maybe he believed Attie still belonged to him. Maybe he was arrogant
enough to believe that the only way she would be free was with his consent.
Santiago was about power and control and Attie was a pawn in his acquiring
that.

“Now,
don’t get worked up, there’s nothing you can do about your situation except go
with it. That’s exactly what I’d do if I were you. I have your necklace here if
you need a little reminder of how much you belong to me.”

Attie
took a step back and drew in a sharp breath. Noah moved forward so that she
bumped into him. That damn necklace again. What kind of power did it hold over
her? It seemed to be the one thing that sent her into a panic.

“Now
isn’t the time for such a reminder. One last thing before I allow you to eat in
silence. I choose who shares your bed.”

“Oh,
really?”

“Yes,
mi amor
, really,” came the amused reply.

“Then
you’re really not going to like this.”

Before
Noah could guess her intentions, she spun around and plastered herself against
him. Her arms wound around his neck, tangling in his hair so she could pull his
head down. He didn’t resist as she lifted up on tiptoe and met his lips in an
open-mouthed, hot, hungry kiss.

He
gripped her waist and met her hunger with equal measure. He tasted her anger
and her desperation, but also something raw. Built up tension from the night
they’d shared and the foreplay minutes ago. She let it all go as she ravaged
his mouth. Her lips moved greedily against his until finally he took control
and possessed her.

His
tongue dipped inside her mouth and tangled with hers, tipping her head back. He
moved his hand up to cup the nape of her neck, and held her head still as he
plundered her mouth, tasting and exploring until she clung to him.

The
kiss was guaranteed to piss Santiago off if he had any real feelings for Attie.
Sure enough, an angry shout filled the room. It echoed off the walls but didn’t
faze Noah or Attie. They had long since lost sight of where they were and the
reason they were there. The kiss went from proving something to Santiago and
into something more personal, more intimate.

Noah
let his free hand slide down her spine to cup her firm backside. Attie was in
excellent shape. She responded by tilting her hips and drew a ragged moan from
his throat. He wanted her naked and underneath him, panting and moaning out his
name like she had been this morning. He was addicted to this side of Attie.
When she was like this, uninhibited and wild, he couldn’t get enough. She
fueled a fire in him that no woman ever had.

“Nice
show, Atalanta. You’re right. I don’t like it and now I’m going to show you
what happens when you defy me.”

* * * *

Attie
ran her tongue over her bottom lip. Her back was to Noah so he wouldn’t see the
action. She could still taste him and wanted to kick herself for letting the
kiss get out of hand. For letting herself get out of hand. She’d meant to prove
a point to Carlos, not to lose control. She had needed to feel in charge and
kissing Noah seemed like a good way to establish her independence at the time.
Now she wasn’t so sure.

What
she’d planned to do was use Noah for a quick, hot kiss meant to annoy Carlos,
not turn into a wanton and end up mating with his tongue, urgent to get naked
with him. She would have to be more careful with her independence in the
future.

Carlos
entered the room with his guards. Judging by the look on his face, she had
succeeded. He looked angry, and he never showed that emotion unless he was
really upset.

Maybe
kissing Noah hadn’t been such a good idea after all. It had only served to make
her realize how long she’d been celibate…and brought on Carlos’s wrath.

Noah
moved in front of her, blocking her view. He braced his legs apart in a
familiar stance. An immovable wall. Whatever he decided to protect was safe,
because he didn’t bend for anyone or anything. Not even six AK-47’s or one
prickly drug lord.

“Move
out of the way, Kincaid,” she hissed.

He
ignored her as the mob moved into position in front of them. Irritated, she
glared at his back. He was doing it again. Protecting her. If she hadn’t
retired, then he wouldn’t be doing this. He had always given her the respect
she deserved, and earned, in the field. He never would have stepped in front of
her like this. He would have let her fight her own battles and backed her. This
wasn’t backing her; this was sheltering her. She hated it. She was more than
capable of taking care of herself, she was the one who’d antagonized Carlos and
she would pay her own debt.

Ducking
around him so she stood beside him, she sent him a mutinous look that dared him
to step in front of her again. This time he didn’t, but she knew better than to
believe he’d backed down. Noah never backed down.

The
men moved into formation, circling her and Noah until they were surrounded on
all sides. Instinctively, she and Noah turned so that their backs were pressed
together, leaving neither of them open for attack.

Carlos
stood in front of her, a tiny smile on his lips that sent a shiver down her
spine. She knew what that smile meant.

“You
shouldn’t have done that,” he said, stepping closer. He held one hand behind
his back. The other reached out to trace her collarbone.

Attie
managed not to flinch.

“I’m
very displeased with you.”

“Sorry.”

“You
should watch your tongue, it’s getting a little too sharp. I’m here to offer
you a choice despite your open display of rebellion.”

“Choice?”

His
dark eyes narrowed slightly, then his smile broadened. Attie knew at that
moment she was in deep trouble.

“First,
tell me what your true feelings are for Noah? You send mixed signals. One
minute you’re looking like you want to take his head off and the next you’re throwing
yourself at him. Which is it? Love or hate? Or are they one and the same?”

Good
question. One she wasn’t willing to answer. Carlos was right. She tried to hate
him, but it was getting harder and harder. None of this would she reveal to
Carlos. Or Noah.

“I
won’t tell you anything, Carlos.”

Noah
stiffened next to her, silently telling her not to provoke the lion.

“I
like your spirit. Even when you rebel I find myself enjoying you. You fit so
perfectly into my plan. It’s time to show you what happens when you displease
me.”

Those
words hadn’t been spoken to her in a very long time and they still had the
power to scare her. They brought back too many unpleasant memories. She felt
the warmth of Noah’s back against hers and yet a chill still crept up her spine.