The melody in our hearts (26 page)

“There’s nothing left to talk about. Go talk with your buddy. I’m sure he’ll listen.”

Valerie felt a bit out of place there, having to listen to their private conversation, but as she tried to leave again, Ryan called her back.

“Valerie,” he pleaded. “Don’t leave.”

She stopped and Jennifer glared at her, showing very clearly that she wanted to be left alone with him.

But as Valerie was trying to find an excuse to leave the room and let them sort through the thing on their own, a nurse came looking for her, saying a patient needed her, so Ryan couldn’t do anything to stop her.

She looked at him just before leaving the room: His eyes were sad and dark, like she’d never seen them before, and she felt a little guilty for ditching him like that.

~
Forty-five
~

As soon as Valerie left the room, Jennifer sat on the chair next to his bed and took a long, deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Ryan,” she said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was just a stupid mistake. Please forgive me.”

He didn’t turn to look at her and folded his arms so that she couldn’t take his hands. He wished she would just leave, get out of the room and his life forever.

“It was a misunderstanding the first time, it was because of a drink the second time, and now it was a stupid mistake. I wonder what your next excuse will be.”

She didn’t say anything, and he knew he had touched a soft spot.

He had always forgiven her. He had forgiven her when he had seen those pictures in the magazine, of her hugging and kissing another man; she had said that he was an old friend of hers whom she hadn’t seen in a long time and that she was only kissing him on a cheek, but the cameras had made it look differently. He had forgiven her when he’d spotted her kissing a guy on a couch at a fashion party; she had said she had had a drink too many, and she honestly thought it was him she was kissing. But he wasn’t going to forgive her now, not after finding her in bed with her manager.

He knew she couldn’t find a decent excuse this time, she couldn’t say it was a misunderstanding, and she wasn’t drunk either.

He had felt so awful, he had felt used and ridiculous, and he had kept wondering how long it had been going on.

She couldn’t blame it on him for being away too long or anything like that, since she was away as much as he was. She couldn’t say he did the same with other women, because he didn’t. And, oh man, he had had so many opportunities in the last five years, but he had never been that kind of guy and he never would be.

He should’ve known better than to date a model. He had been flattered by her attentions, by her charming ways, by her attractive looks, but he should’ve understood that she only did it for publicity reasons, so that she would become more famous just by dating the star of the moment.

“You’ve got to listen to me now.”

“I don’t have to do anything, let alone listen to your lies. You’ve been lying to me all along. I’ve had enough now; I’ve been blind for too long, but I can see clearly now. Let’s put an end to this. There’s no reason to keep dragging it on. Just leave.”

She stood up and sat on his bed, taking his hand. He pulled away and looked at her.

“Jen, leave.”

“Please, Ryan, I didn’t mean to…,”

“You didn’t mean to do what? To lie to me? To sleep with that guy? To use me and my name to become famous? To make a fool of me? C’mon, as if I’d never wondered what on Earth could a woman like you see in a guy like me…. Deep down I’ve always known that all you were after was popularity.”

His heart started beating faster and it echoed in the room through the sound of the machine. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down: All this anger wasn’t doing him any good.

“It’s not like that.” She sighed and he looked away.

It was exactly like that and he knew it, he had always known it. Valerie had never really liked Jennifer, although she had never said it openly, but he could see it from the way Valerie behaved when he used to talk about Jennifer. Maybe she had seen from the beginning what he had always been too blind to see, maybe she had understood immediately what Jennifer was after. Maybe it was because she was a woman, and she knew the way women’s minds work.

Maybe….

His relationship with Jennifer was all about maybes; he had never been too sure about how she really felt for him, whether she was in love or if she just pretended to care.

He had never been too good when it came to understanding girls, especially after he had become famous and would be assaulted by screaming girls wherever he went.

It hurt. It suddenly hurt a lot to know that he had been fooled all along by a person who was claiming to love him. He wondered if he would ever have opened his eyes if he hadn’t caught her in bed with that guy, if he hadn’t had the accident, if he hadn’t been saved by Valerie.

Valerie. Her name rang a bell in his mind. For the first time, its sound felt different.
He
felt different. He
was
different. Valerie was the only reason he had wanted to come back, to leave Heaven or whatever that place he had been floating in was. She had always had a special place in his life, in his heart, but he had always thought it was only because she was his best friend.

But now, with his gorgeous girlfriend sitting on his bed trying to be forgiven, all he could think of was Valerie. She was the only person he wanted to see right now, the only person he wanted to be with. Could it be that he was in love? Just the thought of it made his heart skip a beat, and he suddenly felt very confused and certain at the same time.

“Ryan, please, I love you.”

He turned to look at her, and she winced at his stare.

“Shut up. You don’t even know what love is. Get out of here and out of my life.”

She begged him, but the more she did, the angrier he got. He was tired of this charade, of all her lies. He knew they would run front cover as soon as the media found out that they had split up, and she would probably be even more famous after that. She had reached her goal, so why did she have to go on playing her part?

“I said
get out
!” he barked, feeling his cheeks on fire.

He thought he was probably coming down with a fever again, but then he suddenly felt short of breath, as if something had got stuck in his throat and stopped all air from passing through. A second later, he felt a pain in his chest.

He tried to breathe, but he couldn’t; he heard Jennifer calling his name, but suddenly everything became muffled and he felt as if he was slowly falling asleep. He knew what was happening, and he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. There was only one person who could help him now, her name echoing in his mind like the chorus of a song he knew by heart.

He heard the muffled sound of the machine next to his bed going crazy, and he knew he was losing the battle this time. If only Valerie hadn’t left the room….

~
Forty-six
~

Valerie was behind the desk at the reception, waiting for Jennifer to leave the room. Ryan had asked her to stay, but she knew that they needed to talk about whatever it was that had caused the fight, so she had been glad when the nurse had called her for another patient.

She was reading a file when she heard an alarm go off, and she looked up to see what was wrong. When she saw it was Ryan’s, she felt her blood go cold, and she immediately asked the nurse to take the emergency trolley while she ran to his room.

She almost bumped into Jennifer, who was running out, calling for help, and she asked her to leave the room. She didn’t want to know what had happened or why; she just wanted her to leave. She had never liked her at all, and she wasn’t going to start liking her now. So the less she saw her, the better.

Jennifer didn’t say anything and just left, so Valerie got close to the bed and looked at Ryan, who looked as if he could somehow still hear her.

“Ryan, can you hear me?” she said, trying to remain calm, but her voice cracked in the attempt. “I’m here, Ryan, it’s okay. You’ll be fine!”

The nurse injected lidocaine in the IV, and Valerie started compression in an attempt to keep his heart beating while waiting for the medicine to work.

“You’re not going anywhere…you’re not going anywhere without me….” she kept whispering in his ear, while mentally counting and rhythmically pressing his chest.

He wasn’t unconscious long and when he abruptly opened his eyes, gasping for air, she stopped compression and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

“You’re back,” she said and sighed, slumping down on the chair next to his bed. “Stop giving me a fright every other minute, Ryan. I can’t take any more of this by now!”

Valerie looked at the nurse and told her she could go now, that she would take care of him.

“What happened?” he whispered, a moment after the nurse had left, and he looked up at Valerie, feeling a bit bewildered.

“You probably got upset,” she said gently. “Your blood pressure went up fast, and your heart was still too weak to endure it.” She took his hand and smiled. “But we’ve caught you just in time, once again.”

She winked at him, and he attempted a smile.

“I owe you,” he whispered.

“Big time now,” she teased. “Dinner, shopping in a fancy boutique, and a weekend somewhere nice and fancy: I think that should be enough to pay me back.”

He chuckled and coughed a couple of times before speaking.

“Fair enough,” he said. “Although... I think the medical charges in this hospital are a bit expensive. Remind me to choose a cheaper one next time!”

She laughed and nodded, knowing he was feeling better now.

“You’re lucky you know me. Just think what it would’ve cost you otherwise!”

He smiled, then abruptly turned serious.

“Is she still here?” he asked, knowing Valerie would know who he was talking about, even without hearing her name.

She nodded. “Do you want me to let her in?”

He looked straight into her eyes this time, and she saw an expression she had never seen there before.

“Please, Val, I don’t want to see her anymore,” he almost begged and she nodded, squeezing his hand.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let her in, I promise. Just be quiet now – you have to rest.” She let go of his hand and fixed the nasal cannula in his nose to make sure it was positioned properly. “I can’t always leave everything else to come rescue you.” She winked. “It’s usually the prince who saves the damsel in distress, not the other way around!”

He smiled and nodded. “I’ll rest now. I promise I won’t bother you anymore, Doc.”

She tucked the blanket and checked the IV, then she walked out, turning back one last time before closing the door behind her.

“Is he okay? Can I see him now?” Jennifer asked, as soon as Valerie passed by her.

“He’s okay, but he has to rest.” She looked up from the clipboard she was holding, straight into Jennifer’s eyes. “And he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to see you anymore and, being his doctor, I think it best if you left now.”

Jennifer stood up abruptly, ready to object.

“I have to see him.”

“As long as he’s in this hospital, he’s my patient, and it’s I who decides who he can or cannot see,” she said, trying to be as professional and as detached as possible. “And since your presence isn’t helping him feel better, as his doctor, I ask you to leave now.”

She tried to break in, but Valerie didn’t let her. “Once he gets out and his life’s no longer in danger, you’re free to do whatever you want. Now, if you’ll excuse me....”

Valerie turned her back to her and smiled alone: It felt so good to have the authority to tell Jennifer to leave without her arguing that Valerie almost wanted to dance along the corridors, but knew better.

She didn’t turn back until she was halfway down the corridor and, when she eventually did, she saw that Jennifer had left, and she hoped that she would never have to see her again.

~
Forty-seven
~

“Morning, Doc!”

He opened his eyes as soon as she walked into the room, and she saw he was smiling. It was a good sign, she thought. He had slept all night after what had happened in the afternoon when Jennifer had come to visit, and he definitely looked better.

“Morning to you!” She smiled back, getting closer to his bed and checking the IV. “You look much better today. I guess you slept well?”

He nodded. “I don’t know what that nurse gave me, but I don’t think I’ve ever slept more soundly in my whole life. I really needed it.”

She took the clipboard at the foot of the bed and wrote something on it, then she put it back in place and walked by his side, checking the monitor by the bed.