The Meridian Gamble (51 page)

When I grow bored with the
television, I take a nap on the huge sofa that rests in the center of the room.
An hour or so later, I wake and tell myself I should write, but I don’t have
any of my journals, and I don’t want to ask the vampire servants to break into
my apartment to fetch them for me. So I watch more television, instead.

Adam doesn’t call, as he promised,
which worries me. And I feel ridiculous, just sitting here watching television,
full of frustration. So when it gets closer to the dinner hour, even though I’m
not hungry, I decide to get creative. I go to the phone, and dial the vampire
room service again.

The same young woman’s voice comes
on the line. I can’t help but wonder if she ever takes a rest.

“May I help you?”

“This is Meridian, in Adam’s room.”

“Yes, of course, Ms. Gutierrez,”
she says, politely. “How may I help you?”

“Um, I’m feeling a bit peckish
again. I thought I would ask for more food.”

“Do you know what you would like?”

And I begin to order, my favorite
meal from Tom E. Wongs, just to see if they can handle it.

“I’d like Chinese chicken salad
with pork fried rice and barbecue pork, and a side of fried won tons. Actually,
it’s my order from a Chinese restaurant near my home. You can just pick up the
food from there if you like, or have them deliver.”

“I think we can replicate their
menu fairly easily. If it’s not to your liking, just let us know, and we’ll
have the restaurant deliver.”

“I’m sure it will be much better,”
I say, trying not to sound like an ungrateful bitch. “Thank you.”

And suddenly, I feel excited by my
new toy, again. I’m curious to see what the vampire’s come up with, if they can
improve upon Tom E. Wong’s.

And it doesn’t take long, all
things considered. After about 30 minutes or so, another knock comes at the
door.

“Thank you,” I call out.

I run to the computer, and watch
what happens. This time, the server doesn’t leave a cart, but instead, sets a
tray at the door, with a silver dome over the food. I watch as the man walks
down the hallway, and I run to the door with excitement, silently hoping my
meal will be delicious. But if the food I have eaten in the vampires’ lair in
the past is any indication, I’m sure it will be a gourmet meal.

I listen for a moment, for any
sound on the other side of the door, and look back to Adam’s desk. But the
monitor is clear. I open it, and pull the tray inside.

But as I close the door, it stops,
and I think for a moment it’s stuck. But then I realize my mistake. It’s too
late, a hand is blocking me from closing it. And he pushes open the door.

It’s Roland.

I don’t even try to fight it. I
step back in horror, realizing there’s no way I can stop him. And he follows me
inside, slowly and deliberately, with an even pace.

Roland shuts the door and locks it
behind him.

“How did you do that so quickly?”

He smirks at me, as if I’m an
idiot.

“I think you know how I did it.”

“Oh, right. Ancient vampire,” I
say. “Does this mean I’m not going to get to enjoy my Chinese food?”

“Well, one of us is going to eat,”
he says, with a wicked smile.

It’s almost absurd. Roland is
wearing a more casual outfit, black jeans and a polo shirt, and he looks
handsome. I know I should feel frightened, but a part of me is almost happy to
have him alone, because there’s so much I have to tell him, so many things I
want to ask. But unless I think fast, I’ll never get the chance.

“I’m Saga,” I say. “Saga, who later
became Caroline. I’ve only just started to remember. I’m sorry I had to hide it
from you before.”

It feels good to blurt it all out,
to not have to deceive him. And Adam said it was all right, that we would have
to do it, eventually. But a part of me wanted to keep it hidden a bit longer,
to enjoy my newfound bliss, uninterrupted. I’m hoping Roland believes me, but
he only looks to me with sad eyes filled with doubt.

“What? Do you think I’m lying, to
protect myself?”

“No. I think you honestly believe
you’re Saga.”

“How could I not be? Remember, my
mind is impenetrable?”

“Yes, your defenses are quite
strong. But no one is completely impervious to control,” he says. “You realize
you’re not the first woman who believed she was Caroline, don’t you?”

I begin to feel unsteady on my
feet.

“Yes, he told me. It was Adam’s way
to protect me.”

“It was his way to protect her. And
the game has always been the same. A strong mind that’s difficult to read, but
Adam finds his way in and implants the memories. Tell me, don’t you find it odd
that you’ve begun to recall the past so late in life?”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it
late. I’m not even 30,” I say. “And I’ve always written stories about the past,
ones that turned out to be Saga and Caroline’s lives.”

“You believe you’ve written stories
about them. But, you’re not exactly a published author, are you?”

I shake my head.

“No, I have written them. You can’t
fake that. And besides, isn’t mine is a special case? I’ve only lived a few
past lives. I’ve been told it becomes easier to remember the more you come
back.”

“That’s true. Or the memories were
simply put in your brain,” he says. “Tell me something, you and Adam have found
a way to connect your minds, haven’t you?”

I hesitate. I don’t want to tell
him about the Astral Plane, or the special place within it that Adam has
created for me, where our minds can meet. But before I can think of something
to say, Roland laughs in my face.

“You don’t even have to tell me.
It’s all so deliciously obvious.”

“Could … could he really do that?”

He moves closer, like a tiger,
stalking its prey. And I’m like the little lamb that stands there, defenseless.
Roland reaches out and touches my face, playing with me. And I let him, feeling
the familiar warmth of his hand. And I just know that I’ve felt it before.

“Of course he could. Any of us
could alter your mind, once you let us in. And he could even strengthen your
defenses from inside, making it harder for the rest of us to pierce your
psyche.”

“But if he could pierce it so could
you. Couldn’t I just find a way to open my mind to you?”

“And I would spend forever trying
to pick through the illusions, the ones that will seem just as real to me. For
all I know, he has more skill than I could ever have imagined. He’s certainly
had practice enough.”

I shake my head, trying to brush
off my confusion. Could it be true? Could Adam have implanted these thoughts in
my brain, made me think I was part of the Luminos? It all makes sense in a way,
why I was so different from the rest of them, why it took so long for me to
remember the past. Because it was all a lie. Perhaps Adam attacked my mind in
one fell swoop, under the guise of a dream.

But, no. It can’t be. I struggle to
think of something to prove to the both of us who I really am, the people I
once was.

“You’re wrong. If I’m not Caroline,
than why would the Luminos have contacted me and said I’m one of their own?”

“Actors he’s hired? He could have
even had Marion arrange it, with the excuse of testing you. You would have
known the truth, if you had gone with them.”

“No,” I say, angrily. “I’ve seen
them, one of them anyway. On the streets of New York. I’ve seen the glow around
them.”

“You think you have.”

“I know I have,” I say. “But you’re
forgetting something else. I still have you.”

Roland steps back from me and cocks
his head to the side, seeming just a bit confused.

“You know I’m her,” I say to him.
“You already have feelings for me. I can tell. I can see it in your face.”

And for a moment, he can’t look at
me. Roland turns away, and there’s a sadness to his eyes.

“You are definitely the best decoy
that he’s found,” Roland says. “But I’m still not completely convinced, and
there is far too much at stake.”

“But there must be something,” I
say, full of frustration. “Something I can do to prove myself …”

“There is.”

And he opens his mouth, and pops
out his fangs. And I gasp.

“You’re going to consume me?”

“I’m going to drink of you, until I
can feel your essence,” he says. “I am going to take you to the point of death,
just before I would absorb you forever, just enough to taste who you really
are. There is no stronger bond than the blood.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I say.
“Roland, please, don’t do this.”

But he pulls me close to him, and I
struggle to get away from the powerful grip that’s impossible to break. And he
whispers in my ear.

“Adam is not the only one who can
plan. I’ve been practicing this, on the Luminos, on fools who’s mediocrity it
disgusted me to taste. I’ve been doing it for decades just for you, to learn to
stop myself before I do any permanent damage. I have it down to an art form.”

“Marion will know. If you don’t
kill me, she’ll know something is wrong,” I say, in desperation.

“No, she’ll only think I didn’t
want to absorb you.”

“Because I’m a disgusting cow you
didn’t want to carry around?” I say. “How romantic.”

“When you wake from this, if you
are Saga, that is what you must tell her. You must not give her any reason to
suspect.”

He begins to move toward my neck,
but somehow, I push him back.

“Stop,” I say. “If you’re not a
monster, at least give me this.”

I hold up my hand, and Roland
relents. He eases his grasp, granting me the small courtesy of a moment.

I step back, and take off Adam’s
sweater, throwing it aside. I put my hands to the collar of my V-neck T-shirt
and rip it, widening the gap. I pull it down, exposing more of my neck, and
Roland gasps.

“Go ahead, if this is what you need
to do. I can’t stop you,” I say. “But know one thing. You’re going to regret
this, Roland, more than any of your past sins. Because I will never forgive
you. And I will never forget that you didn’t believe me.”

“If you are truly Saga, you’ll
understand. Because this is more important than just you and I. You matter too
much for me to take any risks.”

I’m important, though I still don’t
understand why. And before I can ask him, Roland lunges at me and plunges his
teeth into my neck. It’s too fast for me to react, even when I know its coming.

It hurts, and not in a sexy way. It
feels like someone is driving two nails into my flesh, the most incompetent
carpenter in the world. But then, the sensation changes. My body relaxes, and
it feels like liquid gold is coursing through my veins. Every touch of his body
is electric, the slightest brush of his legs against mine gives me intense
pleasure. And I remember why the bite is so addictive. I remember the feeling
from Caroline’s life, only it’s a thousand times more pleasurable when I
experience it for real, in the here and now.

And it doesn’t feel like he’s
biting me. It feels like we’re making love.

Roland lowers me to the floor, and
I try to collect myself, I try to remember that there’s venom in the blood,
that it’s an illusion. And it’s so hard, all I want is to be with him in this
way. But I try to think of Adam. I try to push Roland off of me, because I want
to live, I don’t want to have to come back and find Adam again. But Roland is
too strong, he’s lying on top of me, pinning me down, making sounds like he’s
gorging himself on the fluids that come from my body. And the erotic sensation
of his warmth and his strong arms around me is too much to bear.

It’s useless. I give in to him. And
when I do, I feel something else, a connection. In my mind, the reality around
me melts away, in a slightly different manner than it does in my Luminos
visions. I’m transported to the garden behind Caroline’s home. It’s a beautiful
day, but not just any one, it’s the day when we first officially met, the sweet
moment my parents set up so that I could get to know my future husband. We sit
under the gazebo, and I pour tea for Roland. And in that instant, I know in my
heart that I’ve found someone to love. And I can almost feel Roland, this
Roland, that he’s there with me.

But I’m a fool, my trust in him was
misplaced, because he’s draining my life away. As quickly as the vision
appears, it goes away, and I’m thrown back into our reality. And over his
shoulder, for a brief moment, I can see a tunnel of light. I can feel all of my
life and experiences being drawn from me.

Suddenly, Roland pulls his fangs
out with a gasp of horror. And it’s disgusting, his mouth is full of my blood,
which drips onto my face. And I can see in his eyes that he realizes exactly
what he has done.

“Oh my God …”

“I told you I was Saga,” I say. “I
…”

But I’m too weak to finish.

And I begin to think that maybe
Roland is the fool, to have overestimated his skill. Because it feels like he’s
killed me, as my head rolls back into darkness.

“Bite me,” I beg.

I’ve always been aloof with men,
but something has changed in me of late. I’ve certainly never pleaded in this
way, demeaned myself for attention, though it all seems worth it now. And I
just can’t stop myself.

“I won’t. It’s wrong,” he says.

“You need to eat, and I have plenty
of blood to give. Take a little. You don’t have to kill me this time. I just want
to feel it once more …”

“What I did, I did out of
necessity. I won’t manipulate you in that way again.”

“You’re not manipulating me if I’m
already in love with you. In fact, nothing you do could possibly make me love
you more than I already do.”

But I can see it in his face that
he still hesitates. And suddenly, my need becomes more than just a desire. An
anger rises up within me, that Roland has the gall to refuse me.