The Mind-Twisters Affair (6 page)

"Certainly," Curtis said.

"The sooner we get going, the better," Illya said. . "Mrs. Armden, would you pack something for your husband and yourself? We won't have room for anything in the car, so you'll have to take all the clothing with you."

She nodded and turned to go upstairs. Illya spoke to Armden again. "Just come with us, Dr. Armden. Everything will be -"

Armden, who had been standing silently since Illya had first ordered him to come with them, suddenly screamed and lunged forward, swinging his fists wildly. Illya ducked and grabbed one arm. Napoleon quickly grasped the other.

"Do you have anything to quiet him down?" Illya asked as Armden struggled violently in their grip.

"In the car. Professor, take an arm and hang on until I get back."

Curtis hesitantly reached for the arm Napoleon was gripping. Armden was still struggling violently, but apparently hadn't thought about kicking yet. As Curtis tried to take over for Napoleon, however, Armden suddenly gave a second scream and went limp. The two agents lowered him gently to the couch. Illya hurriedly checked his pulse while Napoleon tried to calm Mrs. Armden. Curtis stood by, fascinated.

After a minute, Illya satisfied himself that Armden was merely unconscious. He picked up the slight form and turned to Napoleon, who had finally persuaded Mrs. Armden that the best thing to do was to get packed and go into hysterics later.

"Get the doors open," Illya admonished. "We have some packing of our own to do." He nodded at Armden's limp form.

Section II: "Harass The Foe From The Rear"

Chapter 5

"How Does One Lose A Helicopter?"

DAWN, TO SOMEONE WHO has been awake for twenty-four hours and driving in an incredibly cramped car for eight, can be extremely bleak. Somewhere near the eastern end of the Ohio turnpike, Napoleon pulled to the side of the road and stopped next to a sign that read "Emergency Stop Only." He pushed up the gull-wing door and swung his feet out from under the steering wheel. Automatically taking the keys from the ignition, he stood up, stretched, stamped his feet a few times, and shook his head.

"You'd better take over again," he said to Illya, after a minute of the brisk autumn air had done nothing whatever in the way of shaking off the feeling of lethargy.

Illya obediently struggled out of the passenger's side, then stood there, leaning over, one hand propping up Dr. Armden. "Get over here and hang on to him," he said, a touch of irritation showing. "If I let go, he'll shift one way or the other and we'll be another half hour getting ourselves stuffed back in."

Napoleon hurried around the car and held Armden in place while Illya inserted himself beneath and behind the steering wheel. Once settled, he held Armden while Napoleon got in.

Illya glanced at the clear morning sky as he reached up to pull down the door. "This car even attracts attention from helicopters," he observed.

"Probably belongs to the highway department, or the local police," Napoleon answered, stifling a yawn. "Some places use them to check traffic flow." He closed his eyes.

"I think we're being followed," Illya said. "Either this one or one just like it was hovering over us the last time we stopped."

Napoleon pushed open his door and looked up. After a second, he spotted a noisy speck well up in the sky. It appeared to be hovering.

"And you didn't tell me? What kind of a friend are you?"

"A considerate one. We've no assurance that it is following us, and even if it is, what do you propose to do about it?"

Napoleon shrugged. "Nothing, I suppose. As long as it stays that high." He closed the door and his eyes almost simultaneously.

Illya drove silently. At the next stop for gas, there was a helicopter hovering overhead. They discussed the possibilities, and decided to stay on the turnpike. The side roads wouldn't hide them from aerial observation, and Napoleon thought they might be able to outrun a conventional helicopter on a straightaway. Also, there were several tunnels ahead.

The traffic had picked up, so neither Napoleon nor Illya immediately noticed the two large sedans that merged smoothly into traffic in front of them. Napoleon, who was driving, was only mildly irritated when the sedans pulled even with one another and blocked both lanes while moving slightly slower than he wanted to travel. After a few minutes of this, both cars began to slow down, still carefully abreast. At the same time, two similar cars appeared in his rear-view mirror, blocking both lanes behind him.

"It would seem," Napoleon said, nodding toward the cars ahead, "that they've called in the ground forces."

Illya put his head out the window and peered up. "The air force is closing in, too."

"This would seem to settle any doubts about Thrush being involved. No one else I know can afford massed ranks of cars and a helicopter to run us down. I hate to say I told you so, but…"

"But you'll make an exception for a friend; I know." Illya interrupted him.

Napoleon was driving carefully, watching the four cars. They were still slowing, and the two in back were drawing closer. Then one of the cars in the rear began to draw ahead of the other. Napoleon promptly swung the U.N.C.L.E. car in front of it, and it dropped back and its companion pulled ahead. By now they could hear the roar of the approaching helicopter.

"We're thoroughly boxed in," Napoleon reported. "Looks like they may try to run us off the road."

Illya looked calmly at the sheer drop a few feet from the right lane of traffic. "If we're going to be run off the road, I'd suggest getting into the left lane. The median strip is steep, but it may not be a total disaster. I wonder if they've given up trying to get Armden back alive?"

Napoleon swung into the left lane, and the following cars reversed their positions. He eyed the dash panel speculatively. "There must be something to use in a situation like this."

"With a dozen ordinary motorists in the line of fire," Illya suggested, "our choices are limited. I can just see the U.N.C.L.E. image after we've wiped a flamethrower across a car full of innocent bystanders."

"And the laser system has the same drawback," Napoleon muttered. "At least the flamethrowers are a relatively short-range weapon. Still, we'd better have something; they're closing in fast."

He studied the road and the surrounding cars, and suddenly brightened. "This won't lose the helicopter," he announced, "but it won't damage the innocent bystanders, either."

A hundred yards ahead, a police crossover was built across the median strip. As they approached it, Napoleon's hand hovered over a button on the dash. Suddenly he stabbed the button, accelerated until he was directly behind the cars ahead, and then bit the brakes and swerved into the crossover. The cars behind disappeared into a thick cloud of smoke ejected from the rear of the U.N.C.L.E. car. Napoleon cut off the smoke screen as they bounced across the median strip and turned into the opposite lanes of the dual highway as angry motorists tooted irritably at them. Behind them, a section of the east bound lanes was blanketed by a dense smoke screen which was already beginning to dissipate. The four Thrush cars were moving slowly eastward, looking for a place to cross the median, while the cars behind honked at them for blocking traffic.

Napoleon had accelerated after crossing the median, but after seeing the success of his maneuver he slowed to keep the U.N.C.L.E. car in the normal traffic flow. A short while later an exit appeared, and Napoleon swung off the turnpike.

There was no sign of the Thrush cars as they pulled up to the toll booth, but the helicopter was an ominous speck in the sky. Rather than try to explain why they were in a westbound lane with an eastbound ticket, Napoleon confessed to losing his ticket, and paid for the entire distance.

"I can see you trying to explain that on your expense account," Illya commented.

"My expense account? It was your neck, too!"

"But you were driving," Illya pointed out. He looked up. "They're still with us."

"The copter must have spotted us and radioed ahead to set up the ambush," Napoleon said. "They can do the same thing again, though we'll have more boltholes on this sort of a road." He paused thoughtfully. "How does one lose a helicopter?"

"With great difficulty, I suspect," Illya said. He struggled to get turned around in the crowded quarters. "Open the weapons compartment, will you? I want to see what we have."

Napoleon pressed another button on the dash and a panel slid up, revealing a compartment behind it. Illya reached back into it, fished around for awhile, and brought out something that looked like the results of a violent collision between a target revolver and a small air gun.

Napoleon gave it a sidelong glance. "You've been playing with the new ordnance again," he accused. "That's one I haven't even seen."

"You should spend more time in the labs. This is a Mercox dart projectile gun."

"Dart?" Napoleon exclaimed. "I read about that fellow in the Congo who shot down a helicopter with a bow and arrow, but I didn't realize he'd made such an impression on our technical staff."

"Patience, Napoleon," Illya soothed. "This uses the gas from a blank cartridge to fire various projectiles: tear gas, dye marker, hypodermic darts, shaped charges - just about anything you want. The original gun is extremely versatile, and this one has been worked over somewhat by our lab boys." He rummaged through the weapons compartment again and triumphantly held up a handful of cartridges that looked like small rockets.

"Our HE-37 explosive, in a shaped charge that projects almost the entire force forward. It can do almost as much damage as a light field piece, if the opposition comes within range."

"I knew there was a catch to it," Napoleon commented. "What's the effective range?"

"About eighty yards, which is a bit more than the original version would do."

"Oh, fine. Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. What about the rockets in the car doors?"

Illya considered. "Since they're fixed to fire horizontally, I don't think I'd want to try them against a helicopter unless we stop and take the door off. I know they have a heat-seeking device, but I'm afraid if we launched one here, it would be more likely to destroy a herd of cows than the helicopter."

"All right, then; the problem is to lure the copter close enough for you to use your hybrid there." Napoleon began to watch the roadside for an opportunity. The helicopter had descended to perhaps five hundred feet, where it remained.

In the next half hour, no opportunity presented it self. Then, just as both agents were beginning to wonder when the next covey of Thrushes would appear, the helicopter suddenly abandoned its cautious stalking and began to descend.

"Here they come," Illya said. "And unless I'm mistaken, they mean business."

As if to confirm Illya's suspicions, there was a rattling sound and a line of tiny pits appeared in the highway ahead of them. Napoleon swerved into the other lane and floored the accelerator. The firing stopped as the car pulled away. The car had more acceleration than the helicopter and on a straight road it would have had more speed. But they weren't on a straight road; in a few minutes, the helicopter pulled even with them again.

"Hang on!" Napoleon said as he spotted a side road that looked as though it ran through some fairly thick trees. He applied the brakes vigorously and skidded into the road.

"We're in luck," he said, eyeing the trees that lined both sides of the road and met in a multi-colored arch over their heads. For at least a few hundred yards, they were invisible from the air. Napoleon pulled off to one side of the road and stopped directly under one of the larger trees. He shut off the motor and climbed out of the car.

"Let's go down a few trees and see what happens when they find out we're not coming out the other end of the woods," he said, pulling his U.N.C.L.E. Special from its shoulder holster.

Illya followed, carrying the Mercox in one hand and stuffing projectiles into a pocket with the other. Judging from the sound, the helicopter was hovering a few hundred yards further down the road.

"Wait a minute," Illya said. "I'll need some help with this; come back and give me a boost."

Napoleon halted and looked around. Illya was standing at the base of a large tree, looking up into the branches. Napoleon walked back to him.

"It must be the country air," he said as he approached. "When we were looking for Dr. Morthley in Wisconsin last summer, you were constantly climbing trees. I think your ancestry is showing." He bent over to allow Illya to climb on his shoulders.

"This time you can stay on the ground," Illya assured him. "Just don't shoot at the helicopter through the branches of this particular tree."

"Don't worry; I seldom shoot at things I can't see."

"Precisely why I'm climbing up here," Illya said, as he disappeared into the higher branches.

A minute later, the sound of the helicopter grew louder as it flew directly overhead. It apparently went back to the highway, then started slowly back along the road. The copter was almost over Illya's tree when he heard the loud whiplash crack of the Mercox. There was no following explosion; apparently Illya had missed. There was an answering fire from the helicopter, however. Trying to judge its location from the sound of the motor, he loosed several rounds through the branches of a tree about 20 yards from the one Illya was ensconced in. He ducked behind the trunk of the tree as several bullets rattled through the branches.

Almost simultaneously, there was a loud explosion from a nearby field. Napoleon whirled to stare, then relaxed as he realized that it was merely Illya's first round coming back down. He hoped there were no cows or farmers in the immediate vicinity.

The Mercox cracked a second time, and the sound of the shot was almost drowned out by the following explosion. The sound of the helicopter's engine changed immediately, shifting into a higher pitch as the gunner stopped firing. Then there was the sound of something crashing through the branches of the trees. A moment later, a large tubular piece of metal with a small rotor attached dropped with a clatter to the road. Illya came scrambling down from the tree.