The Minnesota Candidate (34 page)

“I’m so sorry. Two crashes in one day… what are
the odds of that happening?”

Shari scowled. “I’d say about a hundred percent.
Somebody didn’t want him being elected. You just watch, they’ll did
up some dirt on those pilots and sweep the whole thing under the
rug.”

Chona stared at Shari and shook her head.
“Wasn’t he the guy who filibustered against Sharia law being
incorporated into the Constitution?”

Shari nodded her head. “That’s him, what a
coincidence, huh?”

“I can’t believe it.”

Shari heard something and she walked to the
window. In the distance, a large plume of black smoke was rising
into the air. Several helicopters were hovering in the same area.
Shari pointed out the window. “Look! That must be where the chopper
crashed.”

Chona walked over and stood next to Shari. The
telephone rang and Shari walked over to answer it. Tom was on the
other end of the call. “The road is blocked,” he said, “we can’t
get through.”

“Haven’t you heard the news?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Senator Levitz was killed in a helicopter
crash, just down the road from here. I guess it just happened.”

“That’s terrible… Well, there isn’t any other
way out of here, how am I supposed to get groceries?”

“You’ll just have to wait. We’ll survive,
Tom.”

“Alright, I guess we’ll see you in a few
minutes. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” said Shari, hanging up the
telephone.

“Let me guess,” said Chona. “They have the road
blocked?”

Shari nodded and continued staring out the
window. “Chona, will you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

“I want you to go out to the garage. Under the
workbench, you’ll find a coil of anchor rope. You’ll see it. I want
you to meet me up in my room and tie me to my bed.”

“Does that mean you’re going to let us into your
parent’s house?”

Shari’s eyes grew narrow and she suddenly
charged Chona. “Nobody goes in there!” she screamed.

Chona was ready for the attack. She spun high in
the air and caught Shari on the side of her head with the toe of
her sneaker. Shari was sent sprawling to the living room floor.
Chona had never used the spin kick on a real person and at first
she was worried that she might have killed her friend. She dropped
to her knees and touched her fingers to Shari’s neck. She smiled
when she felt a strong pulse. Chona grabbed Shari by an arm and a
leg and hefted her into a fireman’s carry. She then began to climb
the stairs.

With the power shut off to the big house, Doris
and Marie attempted to place the ladder into position. This proved
to be no easy task. Angry words were exchanged and knuckles were
bruised and fingers were pinched. They couldn’t agree on whether to
place the top of the ladder over or next to the window. Eventually,
Marie won the argument and they decided that over the window was
best. Somehow, the two women managed to complete the job and they
stood on the grass, looking up at the window. The blazing sun
stared back down upon them. “Which one of us is going first?” asked
Doris.

“She’s your daughter in-law,” said Marie. “You
have to go first.”

“Oh, like that really matters. Marie, you know I
have Virgo.”

Marie rolled her eyes at Doris. “Don’t you mean
vertigo?”

“You know that’s exactly what I meant. I can’t
go first. I’d fall down and take you out on my way down.”

Marie stared up at the window and nodded her
head. She then slung one of the canvas sacks over her shoulder.
“Fine, you do whatever you want to do. I’m going up there and I’m
keeping whatever I find. If you stay here, don’t expect me to split
any of the booty. I mean it, Doris.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” said Doris.

“Famous last words,” grunted Marie. She hefted
herself onto the first rung. “Get over here and hold this
thing.”

Doris stepped over and held the ladder and she
watched as Marie slowly ascended. Once she was over Doris’ head,
Marie never looked down. Doris told herself to remember that.
“Don’t look down,” she whispered, “just don’t look down.”

“I’m not looking down,” grunted Marie. “Will you
stop saying that?”

Doris watched as Marie climbed higher and
higher. The extension ladder flexed and bowed, but Marie never
slowed down. Doris held on and watched as Marie stopped directly
over the window. Marie reached out and pulled up on the window.
There was a squeak, but it lifted to its full height. “What do you
see?” Doris shouted.

“The windowsill is full of bird crap!”

“Well, what did you expect? That window has been
open for five years!”

Marie began swinging her canvas sack in a
pendulum motion. She released it and it disappeared into the open
window. Marie gave an excited whoop and looked down at Doris. And
then she clung to the ladder and froze. “I didn’t realize how high
up I was!” she hollered. “I don’t think I can do this!”

“Get your fat ass in there!” replied Doris.
Seeing Marie so close to their destination had zapped the fear from
her body. Doris was salivating at the idea of climbing inside the
house. From where she stood, it looked like all Marie had to do was
step off the ladder and into the big open window. This was their
last chance and Doris was determined not to let it pass. “Get in
there!” she shouted. “I’m coming up!”

Marie didn’t reply, nor did she move. Doris let
go of the ladder and she hefted her canvas sack. Fearlessly, she
began to climb the ladder. Reminding herself not to look down,
Doris passed over the second story windows and approached the third
story. That was when the ladder began to bounce. “Stop!” cried
Marie. “You’re going to kill us both!”

“Get in there, you fat cow!”

“I can’t, I’m too afraid that I’ll fall!”

“I’m coming up and if you’re not out of my way,
I’ll throw you off of this damned ladder. I mean it, Marie. Jump
into the house!”

The top of the ladder began slapping at the
brick and Marie gave a terrified squeal. She then kicked one foot
onto the windowsill and clawed at the top of the window with her
right hand. A moment later, she let go of the ladder and jumped.
She landed on the windowsill and began flailing her free hand as
she wobbled. Doris thought Marie was going to fall, but the big
woman disappeared into the window and there was a loud crashing
sound. With the ladder flexing beneath her weight, Doris scrambled
up until she was level with the window. Blindly, she tossed her
heavy sack into the open window. Marie gave a painful cry as Doris
propelled herself across the chasm. She planted her feet on the
sill and sprang through the window, barrel-rolling across the
floor. The ladder bounced once and crashed back to the ground.

The small room was empty and it stank of mold
and mildew. Marie sat with her back against the wall. Blood gushed
from a gash on her forehead and she held one hand over it. “Find
the first aid kit,” she groaned. “Didn’t you see me in here?”

“See you?” asked Doris, indignantly. “I couldn’t
see a damn thing from out there,” she began rummaging through her
sack and she quickly found the first aid kit. She then doctored the
wound as if Marie were a stray dog, paying no attention to her
yelps of pain. “There,” she said, “you’re as good as new.”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“You’ll be fine. You must have got beaned by the
flashlight. I’m sorry about that.”

“Sure you are.”

“Look, you can sit up here and whine all day.
But I’m going on a treasure hunt and I was hoping that we could go
together. You can either swim or sink, Marie. The choice is up to
you.”

“Why do you always have to be so mean? I really
do feel like I’m gonna puke.”

Doris picked up her sack and rose to her feet.
She then walked to the door. “Like I said, you can do what you want
to do. Just remember this, Marie. Finders keepers, you know what I
mean?”

Marie staggered to her feet. “You’re one mean
bitch.”

“That’s what Vince used to say. Are you with
me?”

Marie nodded her head. She leaned over and
picked up her canvas sack, groaning at the exertion. “Let’s do it,”
she said, excitedly.

Doris reached for the door handle and tried
giving it a twist. The door was locked. “You still got that
crowbar?” she asked.

Marie was already digging the crowbar from her
sack. “Oh yeah,” she growled. “Get out of the way.”

At the gate, Sam shook his head as he waited for
it to open. “I don’t know, Tommy,” he said. “This whole thing
sounds a little crazy. Maybe Shari was just hypnotized or somethin’
like that? Come on, a ray gun?”

“Norma wrote about them in her journal. Why
would she do that if it never existed?”

Sam shrugged. “She was a woman, I can’t answer
that. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinkin’ you can think like a
woman. Only a moron thinks that. Our job is to make them happy, not
to understand them. Know what I mean?”

Tom nodded and Sam drove through the gate.
Suddenly, Sam stopped the truck and pointed out his window. “You
got some kind of weird tracks goin’ into the woods.”

“What kind of weird tracks?”

“Like bigfoot kind of tracks, how the hell am I
supposed to know? They’re just weird, that’s all. You been out here
workin’ on somethin’?”

Tom was already climbing out of the truck. He
walked around the front of the idling Ford and stood at the
driver’s side fender. Sam stepped out and pointed to the ground
where two grooves had been cut into the grass. The groves were
roughly two feet apart and they cut deep into the sod, before
running off under the pine trees. “That is odd,” said Tom. “What do
you suppose caused it?”

Sam shut off the engine and stepped out of the
cab. “Let’s go find out,” he said.

They followed the grooves into the woods and Tom
pointed down. “It looks like someone was dragging something.”

Sam squatted down next to the tracks and touched
his fingers into the groove. “They’re fresh, too,” he said.

“How can you tell?”

Sam smiled. “I can’t tell. I just saw that in a
movie and have always wanted to say it”

Suddenly, someone burst from behind a downed
pine tree and began running through the little woods. Both men gave
chase, but Sam was much faster than Tom and he soon was out of
sight. Tom slogged along through the thick bed of pine needles,
breathless and quickly running out of gas. Finally, he stopped to
catch his wind. He stood hunched over with his hands on his knees.
A few minutes later, Sam reappeared. He was holding a short,
middle-aged man by the collar of what had once been a white shirt.
The man struggled to break free and Sam readjusted his grip. He had
curly black hair and a dark five O’clock shadow. Tom could see that
the man was well dressed, but his clothes were filthy and spattered
with blood.

“I caught the son of a bitch,” said Sam.

“That guy looks familiar,” said Tom, scratching
his chin. “Let him go.”

“Let him go? I just caught him. We got to call
the cops.”

“No,” cried the man, who Tom now recognized as
Senator Merle Levitz, “they’re trying to kill me… you can’t turn me
in!”

“And I’m the king of England,” said Sam.

“Let him go,” repeated Tom, “that’s the Senator
who was in the helicopter crash!”

“You have to let me hide here,” said Levitz.
“For the love of God, will you please listen to me? There have been
two attempts on my life, just today. Shari will vouch for me. I was
a friend of her father’s. I need to see her.”

Sam spun Levitz around and studied his face.
“Yeah, I suppose you could be Senator Levitz. You look bigger on
television. We got to get you to a doctor. You’re bleedin’ all over
the place.”

Levitz shook his head and twisted free of Sam.
“I’ll be okay, but we can’t involve the authorities. Please, I’m
begging you.”

“What about your family?” asked Tom, leading the
men out of the woods, “do you want me to try to contact
anyone?”

“They probably have people waiting at my house.
We can’t risk it.”

“Tommy, you and Shari got any Super Glue? I can
probably get this guy fixed up. Those cuts don’t look too bad.”

“I think so. Let’s just get back to the house
and we’ll let the women look at him.”

“You had better ride in the back,” said Sam,
eyeballing Levitz. “Chona would be mad as hell if you got blood all
over her new upholstery.”

Senator Levitz didn’t argue. Sam opened the
tailgate, gingerly, Levitz crawled into the back of the truck.
“They must know that you’re not dead,” said Tom, “look.”

Flying slowly, just a mile or so to the west,
were five olive-colored helicopters. Sam took one look at them and
he quickly slammed the tailgate. “Hurry,” said Levitz. “I need to
get inside.”

Despite the sense of urgency, Sam drove the Ford
at a snail’s pace. Tom stared at him and pointed straight ahead.
“Speed it up,” he said. “Quit driving like a grandma.”

Sam shook his head. “Goes to show how much you
know. A good getaway driver knows better than to speed. You got to
blend in, Tommy. Those choppers would be on us in a Texas heartbeat
if we was speedin’.”

Tom thought about that and he nodded his head.
“I suppose you’re right, but you could speed it up a little bit.
Senator Levitz is probably having a heart attack.”

“That’s his problem. So, what are we supposed to
do with this guy? I wonder how close he was to Shari’s old man? Do
you think he might have an idea of where this ray gun is?”

Tom shrugged his shoulders, but he thought it
couldn’t hurt to ask. He wondered why Levitz was so desperate to
talk to Shari. Surely, the man had plenty of friends in the area.
Why hadn’t he tried reaching any of them? Tom thought about that as
they parked in front of the downed oak tree. He climbed out of the
truck, only to see Senator Levitz was already out of the bed of the
truck and running alongside the house. He turned to look up at the
helicopters. There was no sign that they had spotted the man.