The Misadventure of Shelrock Holmes (17 page)

INSPECTOR: All covered.

98 THE DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE

ELLERY: Refrigerator? Remember, Phillimore's only five foot one and skinny as a spindle.

INSPECTOR: I'd better check with Velie on that, son. NIKKI: (As if noting) Check . . . refrigerator. ELLERY: The study. Is there a safe?

INSPECTOR: Yes. Phillimore's man, Biggs, opened it for us. Nothing in the safe but unimportant papers.

ELLERY: What about the foyer, Dad?

INSPECTOR: Suit of armor.

NIKKI: I'll bet that's it!

INSPECTOR: You'd lose, Nikki. We looked inside.

NIKKI: I suppose all the closets were searched, too?

INSPECTOR: Every one in the house, upstairs and down. And the bathrooms. And the attic —and the roof —

ELLERY: That's the whole house, then. No! The garage — INSPECTOR: We went through it. ELLERY: Did you search the car?

INSPECTOR: I left that to Velie. However, I'd better check it personally. Note car trunk compartment, Nikki.

ELLERY : Nikki, go back to Phillimore's house with Dad. When Dad's checked the piano, refrigerator, and car, phone me the results.

NIKKI: I can see it coming, though —Mr. James Phillimore isn't hiding in any of those places, Ellery!

ELLERY: I'm inclined to agree, Nikki. Toughest case all winter, and I have to investigate it on my back!

SCENE 6: The Phillimore House, Later

(INSPECTOR QUEEN, NIKKI, VELIE and BIGGS are in the lower hall. A doorbell rings from the rear of the house.)

INSPECTOR: Biggs, what's that bell?

BIGGS: The rear door, Inspector. (They all troop into the \itchen}

INSPECTOR: Velie, unlock it and slide the bolt.

VELIE: Uh-huh. (He obeys and opens door. A workman with sooty hands and face stands outside} Yeah?

COAL MAN: Coal company. Got two tons to deliver.

NIKKI: It's about time. It was warm here for a while, but now it's getting cold again.

COAL MAN: Well, if it's O.K. . . .

VELIE: Now, now. Don't step inside, fella.

INSPECTOR: Velie, go outside with this man. Let him run his coal chute into the cellar window to the bin, but he's not to set foot in any part of the house.

VELIE: Yes, sir. Anybody with you, my anthracite friend? COAL MAN: I got a helper.

INSPECTOR: Stick with both of 'em every second, Velie. (VELIE leaves; INSPECTOR loc\s and bolts the door) Now, Nikki, let's you and I search those places Ellery mentioned!

SCENE 7: The Same, Later

(The rear doorbell rings. INSPECTOR QUEEN unlocks and unbolts

the door.)

INSPECTOR: Oh, Velie. Well? What's about the coal? VELIE: It's in, Inspector.

COAL MAN: (From behind VELIE) Hey, this big guy says I gotta have a pass to let me and my helper out. What goes here, anyway ? (The INSPECTOR ma\es out a pass and signs it)

INSPECTOR: Here's your pass. Velie, go out with 'em — and better examine that truck, just to make sure. (VELIE and the COAL MAN leave, and the INSPECTOR rejastens the door) Nikki! Where are you ?

NIKKI: (From another room) In the study alcove off the foyer, Inspector!

INSPECTOR: Whom are you talking to, Nikki? (He joins her in the study alcove)

100 THE DISAPPEARANCE OF'MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE

NIKKI: Ellery —on the phone. He's furious.

ELLERY : (On the telephone throughout} Nothing in the piano, Nikki?

NIKKI: Only strings and sounding board, Ellery.

ELLERY: Don't be cute! Refrigerator?

NIKKI: Filled with goodies. Which reminds me. I'm starved.

ELLERY: (Groaning) A man vanishes like the Cheshire cat and she's

hungry! What about the car in the garage? NIKKI: He's not in it, Ellery. Now what shall I tell the Inspector

to do?

ELLERY: Blessed if I know. Anything new happen? NIKKI: A coal truck just delivered two tons of coal. ELLERY: What! (Excitedly) Let me talk to Dad! NIKKI: Your celebrated son wishes a word with you, Inspector.

(She hands the telephone to INSPECTOR QUEEN) INSPECTOR: Now Ellery, keep your shirt on. I kept the two coal men from entering the house and Velie was with 'em every minute. So Little Jim can't have sneaked out through the cellar window. ELLERY: I realize that, Dad. But don't you realize that he may be

playing hide-and-go-seek with you? INSPECTOR: Come again?

ELLERY: While you were searching one part of the house, Phillimore may have been hiding in another part. When you came to his part, he slipped off to still another place! How do you know he wasn't in the coal bin when the coal started sliding down the chute? How do you know he isn't buried under the coal at this moment?

INSPECTOR: I'm ready to believe anything. ELLERY: You'd better check, Dad. And call me back. INSPECTOR: All right, (He hangs up} NIKKI: What's Ellery say, Inspector?

INSPECTOR: (Groaning) As soon as Velie gets back into the house, Nikki —we start shoveling coal!

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE 101

NIKKI: And for goodness' sake, Inspector, while you're at it, put some in that furnace.

SCENE 8: The Same, Later INSPECTOR: Well, Velie?

NIKKI: (Giggling) Sergeant, you look like an end man in a minstrel show.

VELIE: Shovel coal! Keep the furnace going! What else do you gotta do on this job? Look at me! My wife'll have a fit.

INSPECTOR: Never mind your wife. Did you transfer all that coal to the other bin?

VELIE: Yeah! (Cunningly) And guess what we found under that coal, Inspector.

INSPECTOR: (Biting eagerly) What, Velie?

VELIE: (Bellowing) Coal dust! (The telephone rings)

NIKKI: I'll get it. Hello? Just a minute, Ellery! Inspector, it's Ellery and he's all agog.

INSPECTOR: (Taking the telephone) Hello, son. ELLERY: Dad! Was Little Jim under the coal? INSPECTOR: He was not! Any more bright ideas, Mr. Queen?

ELLERY: Mmm. Well, the coal was a long shot. But we had to eliminate it. Dad, I know where James Phillimore is!

INSPECTOR: (Belligerently) Where?

ELLERY: In the only place left for him to hide.

INSPECTOR: I'm still listening.

ELLERY: You said Phillimore's study is off the foyer. You listed all the study furniture. But Dad, you left out one thing.

INSPECTOR: You're lying there in bed halfway across town and you're telling me I left out something ? What ?

ELLERY : A study usually has a desk. You didn't mention one. INSPECTOR: I didn't? Well, it's a fact there is a desk here ... By

102 THE DISAPPEARANCE OP MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE

thunder, Ellery, you're right! And it's one of those old-fashioned rolltop desks at that! Hold on. Velie! Ellery's solved it.

NIKKI : He has, Inspector ? VELIE: Where's he say Little Jim's hidin'? INSPECTOR: In that rolltop desk, Velie. Search it! VELIE: Say, we did miss that before. (Grim) Phillimore, come outa there. (He slides the top open} Huh?

NIKKI: It's empty.

INSPECTOR: Solved it! (He bar^s into the telephone) Ellery! You were wrong, my son. The desk is empty . . .

ELLERY: But it can't be—(The front doorbell rings)

INSPECTOR: Hang on a minute, Ellery. Velie, answer the front doorbell.

BIGGS : (Appearing) But I'll answer it, sir.

INSPECTOR: Biggs, you'll stay where you are! Velie, who is it?

VELIE: (Off) Telegraph boy, Inspector, with a wire for Biggs.

BIGGS: (Eagerly) I'll take that, sir —

INSPECTOR: You will not. Don't move. Velie, grab that wire.

ELLERY: (Through the telephone) Dad, who's that wire from?

INSPECTOR: Wait, this phone has a long cord —I'll take it out into the foyer. Hold on, son. Nikki, take the phone. Velie, give me that wire.

VELIE: Here you are, Inspector. Biggs, stand still.

BIGGS: But it's my wire, sir.

NIKKI: (Into telephone) The Inspector's opening the telegram, Ellery.

ELLERY: For pity's sake, what's it say, Nikki?

INSPECTOR: (Spluttering) But —but it can't be! It's impossible!

MESSENGER: Can I please have a pass or somethin' to get outa here? The guy at the gate says I gotta have a pass. I got other telegrams to deliver, you know.

INSPECTOR: Here, Velie. Give him this pass.

VELIE: Now scram, squirt. (The MESSENGER exits, front door closes) What's the wire say, Inspector?

INSPECTOR: Nikki, hand me that phone. Ellery, listen to this! I can't believe it —

ELLERY: (Shouting) Can't believe what —

INSPECTOR: It's from James Phillimore! Yes! It's addressed to his man, Biggs, and it says: GOT OUT OF HOUSE AS PLANNED. BRING CLOTHES

AND PAPERS TO MEETING PLACE AGREED ON. — Signed — JAMES PHILLIMORE.

BIGGS: (Snarling) Out of my way!

•

INSPECTOR: Velie, grab that man. Don't let Biggs get away.

VELIE: Oh, no, you don't, flunkey— (He grabs BIGGS and they struggle)

NIKKI: Sergeant — look out —

VELIE: Oh, yeah? (He tries vainly to get BIGGS down on the floor)

ELLERY: Dad, for heaven's sake, what's going on there?

INSPECTOR: Biggs tried to beat it. Velie's wrestling with him — trying to get him down on the floor, but he can't. (Sarcastically) What's the matter, Velie — didn't you have your vitamins today ?

VELIE: (Panting) I can't get this guy of? his feet. O.K., brother, I'll cut you down to size! (He punches BIGGS on the jaw. BIGGS crashes to the floor)

NIKKI: What a fall was there, my countrymen.

INSPECTOR: Velie's got Biggs, son. But how did Little Jim get out of the house? I'll swear nobody left here!

ELLERY: Yes . . . (Chuckles) . . . Yes, of course! INSPECTOR: Yes — of — course what, Ellery? ELLERY: Of course I know where Little Jim is!

INSPECTOR: Is that so? You thought you knew once before, Ellery, and you were wrong!

104 THE DISAPPEARANCE OF. MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE

ELLERY: Dad, this time I'm positive. I've solved the problem of James Phillimore-the man who stepped back into his own house to get his umbrella and was never more seen in this world!

THE SOLUTION

SCENE 9: The Same, Immediately After

INSPECTOR: You've solved it, son? But what — where - how?

ELLERY: Never mind now, Dad. Did you ask the telegraph messenger the obvious question?

INSPECTOR: Did I —What obvious question?

ELLERY : Oh, lord. Dad, maybe it's still not too late. Where's the boy now?

INSPECTOR: He just left. Wait a minute-I still see him through the foyer window. Piggott's examining the pass I just gave him, at the front gate.

ELLERY: Good. Hold the boy, Dad, and bring him to me here. I'll ask him that question myself!

SCENE 10: The Queen Apartment, Later (They are grouped around ELLERY'S bed.) VELIE: O.K., so we've got the messenger boy outside your bedroom,

Maestro. Now what?

ELLERY: Fine, Sergeant. Keep the boy there for a moment. INSPECTOR: What I want to know, son, is — where's James Phil-

limore ? NIKKI: Yes, Ellery-how did he get out of the house.with a dozen

detectives watching every possible exit? ELLERY: Elementary, Nikki. Dad, just answer my questions. Is

Little Jim in that house now? INSPECTOR: No, son. I'll stake my shield on that. ELLERY: If he isn't in the house, then he must be outside the house.

Right?

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE 105

NIKKI: Naturally.

ELLERY : How many people left the house during the day, Dad ? — Not including yourselves or the detectives.

INSPECTOR: I told you a dozen times, Ellery: Nobody left that house. ELLERY: Oh, but that's not so, Dad. Three people left it. VELIE: Three? Inspector, he's delirious.

ELLERY: Come, come, didn't the coal men come to the house and then leave it ? That makes two —

INSPECTOR: But they never stepped into the house, Ellery!

VELIE: And I was with 'em every second while they sent the coal down the chute from outside the house, Maestro. I even examined the truck before they left.

INSPECTOR: So Little Jim wasn't in the truck, and he wasn't one of the coal men, Ellery.

ELLERY : Oh, you're quite right about that. So that eliminates two of the three persons who left the house. Therefore, the third person must be Little Jim.

NIKKI: (Excited} I've got it! Ellery, you're wrong! Little Jim never left the house at all, Inspector!

INSPECTOR: But Nikki, we searched it from top to bottom. If he was in the house all the time, where was he?

NIKKI: He was in front of your eyes, Inspector. Little Jim was . . . Biggs, the servant!

VELIE : He played two parts ? Say . . .

INSPECTOR: Phillimore is five foot one, Nikki. Biggs is six foot four!

NIKKI : (Airily} He faked the extra height, Inspector. Used stilts, or something.

ELLERY: Stilts? No, Nikki. Velie actually wrestled with Biggs and couldn't even get him off his feet! If Biggs were on stilts, no matter how strong he was, you could have pushed him over, Nikki. No — call in that telegraph boy, Sergeant, and I'll ask him the obvious question Dad forgot. (VELIE brings in the MESSENGER)

106 THE DISAPPEARANCE OF 1 MR. JAMES PHILLIMORE INSPECTOR: (Exasperated} What obvious question, for Pete's sake? VELIE: Here's the boy, Maestro. MESSENGER: (Fearfully} What —what do you want, mister?

ELLERY: I want to ask you a question, sonny. (Chuckles} Here it is: you're James Phillimore, aren't you? (There.is a moment of complete silence}

INSPECTOR: (Spluttering) He's Little Jim, Ellery? This boy?

ELLERY: What makes him a boy, Dad? His small size. His cleanshaven cheeks. His messenger's uniform. His high-pitched voice. No, no, he's not a boy —he's a man. James Phillimore, in fact. He must be. He's the only other person who left the house.

MESSENGER: (Backing away} Think you're clever, don't you? VELIE: Stand —still! INSPECTOR: (Softly} I get it.