The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag (18 page)

In spite of the smell, I was curled up into his chest, holding on to reassure myself he wasn’t hurt. His hand stroked my hair absently as he stared at the activity before us. The fire, (I’d been right, it did started in the kitchen,) was mostly out and a few firemen coiled up the long hoses.

“Trained SEAL here, remember? And I don’t take chances without a reason.” His voice was rougher than usual and I brushed away a fresh onslaught of misery.

“Do you want to go home?” I asked, turning my head so I could read his expression. “You probably want to take a shower.”

He met my gaze and his lips twitched. “Smell that bad, do I?”

I burrowed deeper. “Not at all.” He smelled alive, so it wasn’t a lie.

“If it’s all right with you, I wanted to wait until the Fire Marshal determines the cause.” He coughed on the last word and I sat back, worried that my added weight hindered his ability to breathe. He scowled then pulled me closer and I resettled with ease.

“What do you suspect happened?” I asked, recalling that the front door had been left cracked open.

Neil grunted and we watched another police car roll in to join the melee on the lawn. Neil inhaled and I listened contentedly to the steady thumping of his heart. “I’m sure whoever did this made it look like an accident, a grease fire or faulty wiring, but Valentino was already unconscious when I found him.” He coughed again and cleared his gravelly throat. “My own damn fault it took so long. I headed upstairs first, since that’s where the lights were on. I would have been out several minutes sooner if I’d started in the kitchen.”

“Don’t do that to me ever again.” I whispered, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over.

His index finger tilted my chin so I met his gaze. At point blank range, Neil’s hazel eyes possessed the power to hypnotize and he unleashed it now. “I’m sorry I scared you.” He had too much class to point out that it was my fault he was anywhere near the blaze to begin with.

All those times he’d been deployed on missions, where people shot at him, tried to blow him up or take him captive, I’d worried, not knowing where he was, if he was safe. I thought I knew real terror. But those wild conjectures of my imagination were nothing next to actually
seeing
him in danger, knowing it was my fault….

I gave up the fight and allowed myself to cry. Neil didn’t say anything—he let me sob and held me close. His understanding made it worse because I was such a hypocrite. I’d worried him, by involving myself in dangerous plots, and the fact that I hadn’t sought out mischief didn’t matter. I silently vowed to exercise more caution, and remember this fear before courting trouble again.

Minutes passed by the time I’d regained my composure, the scene out the window had changed. The lights from the fire truck and other emergency vehicles had been extinguished and there was considerably less activity from the few remaining civil servants.

“You got yourself together?” Neil asked. I sniffled and nodded. “Good, because I think we’re about to have company.” A knock on the window made me jump and I used the sleeve of my sweater to scrub my face. Between the nacho cheese stain and the smears of soot, it was probably a lost cause anyhow.

Neil rolled down the window and as my vision adjusted I started at the compact silhouette. “Cripes, what are you doing here?” Neil smirked and shook his head while Detective Capri scowled at me.

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Mrs. Phillips. I received a call from dispatch, informing me that, quote “my go-to girl had stepped in it again.”

End quote.” She made little twitchy bunny ears with both hands to underscore her point.

I opened my mouth, but shut it for lack of a good retort. Coming off of a useless adrenaline rush, and basically mired in guilt, I wasn’t up to my usual verbal sparring at the moment. But I wasn’t about to apologize for my piss-poor luck either, so she could go stuff herself.

Neil sized up the edgy atmosphere and said the right thing. “Maggie, explain to Detective Capri about the envelope you were trying to return.” He squeezed my arm, applying gentle pressure, sending me a non verbal message. Too tired to read between the lines, I did as he suggested, leaving nothing out, except for my fib about the store and our heated exchange before we’d noticed the fire.

Capri could have been a master poker player, since her expression rarely changed from stone-cold sober. She did wince when I admitted I’d climbed in the car with Valentino, but didn’t interrupt the telling. My voice petered out, but I’d gone over the essentials.

“So Valentino gave you money to keep you out of his business,” she mused, then glanced toward the house. “I wonder where the feds are, I’m pretty sure that’s a detail they’d be interested in.”

I grimaced, imaging the two stalwart FBI special agents in my homey little kitchen, but didn’t protest. I needed to help Candie in any way I could, especially now that Valentino would be in no position to do the job.

“Do you know how the fire started?” Neil asked in a mild tone. My gaze cut to him, but I schooled my features almost immediately. So that’s what he’d meant. Give Capri the low-down and then ferret out a few details of our own. Basic
I’ll scratch your back and you scratch mine
technique. The man was a master manipulator, just like his mother.

Capri appeared lost in thought, probably mulling over my deluge of information, seeking the common thread to tie this dung heap up. “An overload in the kitchen. The circuit breaker didn’t trip like it should have.” She mumbled the words as if on automatic pilot.

“What about Markus?” I asked, remembering how Neil said he was already unconscious. “Has he come to yet?”

While Neil’s probing question made it through her lowered defenses, mine must have triggered red alert. Her gaze snapped to mine and her lips compressed in a grim line. “He’ll be all right. I wouldn’t recommend visiting him in the hospital though, I’m sure the feds will post a guard. You two should go home.” Crap, I guess goodwill chat time was over.

Neil nodded in a succinct message received motion and turned the key to the truck’s ignition. “Detective, would you have someone drive Maggie’s car home? I think she’s a little too shaken up to drive right now. Whenever you get the chance will be fine, we’ll be home all day tomorrow.”

What a rat-fink! In one blow, he’d ingratiated himself to Capri by subtly promising to keep me off her radar for awhile and managed to limit my means of transportation for the foreseeable future. The high handedness made my stomach twitch, but I couldn’t muster the will to fight his sense. Tomorrow was another day.

Capri nodded and smiled at my self-appointed handler. “Not a problem. Keys are in it?”

“Yes,” I ground out, unwilling to thank her for aiding Neil in imprisoning me. Since I had no plans, no cleaning jobs, or social commitments, it wasn’t really such a bad thing and I was a little shaky, though I refused to admit it. But the
principle
of the matter…, Grrrrr.

Neil, the bloody Boy Scout, thanked her again and shifted into reverse.

“Happy?” I asked him as we turned out of the development.

He didn’t answer but his satisfied smile practically blinded me as we passed under a streetlight.

Chapter Sixteen

I felt no desire to get out of bed Sunday morning. Sleep came in fits and starts since we’d hit the sheets around three A.M. So I listened as Penny trundled down the hall from my bedroom and took her early morning soak in the tub. Water gurgled through our ancient pipes as she emptied the bathwater and I closed my eyes when she fired up my hairdryer. The next time I regained consciousness, the spot on the air mattress next to me was empty and someone had started coffee. Judging from the industrial strength fumes, Marty had heavy-handed the Folgers into a dinky paper filter. My brother should have been the cop, the way he ruined coffee, yet drank it by the gallon.

“What time did ya’ll come in last night?” Penny’s drawl drifted along with the smell of browning sausages.

“Sometime after midnight.” Neil responded and I heard Marty’s raspy chuckle.

“Must have been one helluva date. The way you two go at it, I’m surprised you don’t have half a dozen kids by now.”

I covered my head with a pillow and groaned. I loved my brother, but I wished someone would staple his lips together. Lord, the last thing this dysfunctional household needed was another baby on final approach.

My ever tactful husband refrained from recommending birth control to my brother, the jackass. With the pillow over my face, I didn’t catch his response, but then, if I wanted to be part of the conversation, I’d get my rear in gear and join them.

Staying where I was seemed simpler, even if I couldn’t stop the mental slideshow of the last few days. Sadistic marriage counselors, cheating husbands, secrete lesbian lovers, oh my! Never mind the fine concoction of bribery and arson I’d choked down yesterday.

“Come on, Uncle Scrooge, up and at ‘em!” Neil yanked the pillow off my face and knelt on the floor next to me. He’d showered when we’d arrived home and still smelled of Irish Spring soap.

“What’s on the schedule for the day, warden?” I asked, struggling to sit upright. He handed over a steaming mug, light and sweet, just the way I liked my morning brew. I took a sip and the bitchiness abated somewhat.

“Serious R&R. I promised to take the boys skiing. My mom still has my old equipment and Leo should be by soon to drop it off.”

Oh the horror. My face must have reflected my opinion because Neil chuckled. “You can rent whatever you need.” He shook his head at what must have been a terrified look. “Or spend the day in the lodge in front of the fire if you prefer. Bring a book and take it easy.”

Hmmm. Slide down a mountain on my ass in the freezing cold or curl up with a novel and a cup of hot chocolate. Was there really a choice here? “What about my car?” I pushed my hair back from my face and took another hit of caffeine.

“The good detective already had someone bring it by.” Neil snatched my coffee mug and took a sip. I watched him for a beat and a light bulb went off over my head.

“Ah so that explains the sudden urge to go skiing.”

“What?” He lowered the mug and blinked at me innocently. Too innocently.

“Can’t keep Maggie in the house, so you’ll take her out of town?”

He scowled. “Can’t a guy just want to spend a day doing something with his family?” If I didn’t know better, I might have thought he was sincere.

“I’m sure that’s part of it, but ….”

He blew out a breath, the veins on his neck bulging visibly. “Fine, I want to get you away from this craziness for a bit, sue me.”

“Not likely, I do your books, remember pal?” And those books backed up his story about the overtime. Since Neil’s paycheck was deposited electronically, I didn’t have an actual hardcopy of the hours he’d logged, but from my estimate the day before, the money was all there. Maybe Neil hadn’t been lying to me—maybe I was just paranoid because of Sylvie and Eric’s situation and Dr. Bob’s innuendos. Wouldn’t be the first time my imagination backfired on me.

He kissed my nose. “I’m going to get the boys up. Can you be ready to go in an hour?”

“Not a problem.” I said, fully relaxing for the first time in days. We’d do our family day and tomorrow, I’d confess my shamefully suspicious thoughts in front of Neil and Dr. Bob as penance. Finishing my coffee, I literally rolled out of bed and trundled down the hall to the miraculously unoccupied bathroom. Several fists pounded on the door while I worked shampoo into my hair, but I ignored them.

Humming, I toweled off and flipped on the vent fan to abate the steam. Brushing my teeth, drying my hair and braiding it so it wouldn’t get in my way if I did attempt to ski, only took a few minutes and I swathed myself in a super thick bathrobe before vacating the room.

The pounder turned out to be Marty. “Jeeze, hag, take all day why don’t you?” He griped as he pushed me into the hallway, slamming the bathroom door in my face.

I dressed in a turtleneck that I seldom wore because it made my head look gigantic and a bulky cable knit sweater layered on top. Fleece jeans and heavy knee-high socks completed the ensemble. I might par boil in the outfit, but I refused to spend another second underdressed in the bone-cracking cold.

Leo had appeared and helped himself to coffee. He sat, dishing with Penny who was wolfing down about half a loaf’s worth of French toast. Josh and Kenny were physically present, but their eyes held the distant look of preteens who hadn’t gotten the requisite fourteen hours of sleep.

“Hungry?” Neil asked as he flipped sausage patties onto a plate.

“You’re cooking?” I stared dubiously at the spread. I thought for sure it’d been Penny’s doing. “What’s the occasion?”

Neil shrugged good-naturedly and turned back to the electric griddle. I caught Leo’s stare, but said nothing as I took the sausage to the table.

“So the Dragon Lady is on her way to torture the city of New York. She’ll be gone for a couple of days.” Leo informed me as he slid a steaming mug of—bless him—fresh, non toxic coffee in front of me.

“Hmm,” I said, reaching to fork up a slice of French toast, but Kenny snatched it first. “Work or pleasure?”