The Missing- Volume II- Lies (14 page)

I hadn’t realized how much I had missed light and fresh air.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was just in front of the door now and I could see that it was open.

Just a crack.

But enough.

Reaching out, I pushed the heavy wood with all my might and it gave way.

The door was open. I felt freedom in front of me.

This had to be a trap. Why would the person who had trapped me let me out? Why had they unlocked the door?

What if this was all a ruse so they could kill me?

I imagined masked killers with chainsaws. Hooded figures with guns.

But in that moment I didn’t care.

The door was open.

The. Door. Was. Open!

I stumbled through the door, my feet crunching on something that felt like straw. Something hard and sharp pierced the bottom of my foot, but I didn’t stop to see what it was.

I found Maren’s door and tried to pull on the handle.

But her door was still locked.

She was still a prisoner.

“Maren! I got out! Hang on, I’m coming!” I banged on the wood with my fists.

I was in a hallway with several doors lining the walls, all closed.

I was definitely in a barn.

And I knew instantly exactly where I was.

The
barn.

The one that had almost burned down.

My special place.

My father’s workshop was on the other side of the building.

I knew this place like the back of my hand.

No wonder it had seemed so familiar. I felt myself buoyed with hope.

I could escape! I’d be able to get Maren out!

Think for a minute, Nora! Don’t rush head long—

I ignored my annoying inner voice; because all that mattered right now was that I was
free!

I turned to the closed door just behind me and pushed on the handle. It, like the room where Maren was being kept, was locked.

Thump. Thump.

Smoke and flames.

Fire licking up the walls.

Incinerating everything into crumbling ash.

I pressed my ear to the door.
Thump. Thump.

Was someone else here?

Thump. Thump.

The crackle of flames slowly encroaching. I took my time leaving. I wasn’t in a rush.

I was here to watch it all burn . . .

Yes! Someone else was here with Maren and me!

Oh my god, who could it be?

I pounded on the door with my fist. “Hello? Who’s there?”

Nothing.

“You should know who’s behind that door. Think about it, Nora.”

I froze.

The familiar voice invaded my mind like poison.

I should have known.

I turned to face the person I knew was responsible for all of this.

Hate flooded my body and invigorated me.

“Rosie.”

The Past

Two Months Ago

T
hings were changing so quickly I could barely keep up.

Some of the changes were wonderful. Full of hope. Full of promise.

Those changes had to do with Maren and everything she offered.

Her friendship.

I also had to do with things she hadn’t given me.
Yet.

I had never had romantic feelings towards anyone. People had assumed I was in love with Bradley for years, given how much time we spent together.

It was true that I loved Bradley. My affection for him was strong and true.

When I thought of my life, he was the main component. His place in my heart was large and unmoving.

But we had never kissed. We had never touched
in that way.
I had never fantasized about it either.

For Bradley, those parts of being intimate were unacceptable. He was sickened by anything sexual and went out of his way to avoid it. Even though girls had always been interested in him, he would never give them the time of day.

He barely tolerated when my hand brushed his arms. He recoiled and shuddered if our skin happened to make contact.

We had always been a perfect pair, incapable of being close to anyone but each other.

For a long time I figured that I, like Bradley, was incapable of feeling that way about anyone. I secretly read romance novels just to experience it vicariously, trying to figure out what it was I was missing out on.

I watched porn so I understood the basics, because that was obviously a conversation I’d never have with Mother.

I wasn’t stimulated by the graphic displays of lust on my computer screen. In truth, it left me cold and a little grossed out.

I lived my life with the belief that I was missing that necessary component required to experience romantic love and desire.

Until Maren.

I wasn’t just attracted to her physically. I was drawn to every single thing about her. I connected with her in a way that was deep and lasting.

I didn’t just want to be
with
her, I wanted to
be
her.

Beautiful. Capable. Talented. Confident.

She ticked each and every box.

I wanted to model myself after her. I too wanted to be someone people clamored to be around.

When I touched her, I memorized the feel of her skin. I made note of her hair and her subtle makeup. I paid attention to her clothing and her scuffed Doc Martens. I counted the bangles on her wrists and the rings on her fingers.

I knew everything about Maren . . . on the outside. Not just so I could think about it later in the privacy of my dark, lonely room, but also so that I could find ways to mirror her.

I didn’t do it consciously at first. But after time, I found that I wanted so much to be tied to her that I’d do just about anything.

We were engaged in a tangled, complicated dance where we talked around our feelings without coming right out and saying them.

Maren was skittish. Sometimes she seemed unwilling when I made subtle advances.

I hated it when she pulled away. When she kept me at arm’s length. I would get so angry that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to contain the rage that bubbled up inside of me.

But then there were those other times when we’d sit together closely writing our song, our knees would brush or she’d move my hair out of my face, and I knew that she felt the same way.

That’s what sustained me.

What kept me going.

Those changes were beautiful and amazing.

But the other changes were threatening to destroy me completely.

Rosie was always at my house now. Every time I walked down the hallway, she was there. When I got myself ready for school in the morning, she’d stand outside the door, watching me get ready, making her usual snide comments.

She watched me and I suspected she was looking for any reason to tear me down. So I tried to ignore her.

But she just wasn’t going away.

Then there was Bradley.

Something was wrong with him.

Something significant.

And he wouldn’t talk to me about it. Which bothered me. Bradley didn’t keep secrets from me. He knew I’d dig them out eventually, so he typically offered them up to save me the effort.

He didn’t this time.

He was keeping something locked away where even I couldn’t find it.

And I suspected it had to do with Maren.

My
Maren.

Though I couldn’t be sure.

I was suspicious. Paranoid. Wary.

He was always around. And I was finding his presence to be too much. I had always appreciated his suffocating comfort.

Not anymore.

For the first time I was finding my relationship with Bradley to be . . .
toxic.

I was finding myself resentful of him. For interfering. For not interfering enough. For always being there when I didn’t want him to be.

For not being around when I desperately needed him.

And he didn’t know.

He’d
never
know.

“We’re supposed to save a spot for Bradley,” Maren said after we arrived at the cafeteria.

I gritted my teeth and wished I could grab a hold of her arm and make a run for it.

“When did you talk to Bradley?” I asked her, trying not to sound annoyed. I failed.

Maren knocked my shoulder with hers. The tingles were there. They felt nice. But I couldn’t focus on them. Not with Bradley’s name in her mouth.

“Don’t be so prickly, Nora. I’m doing this for you.”

She was a liar.

This had nothing to do with me. I knew it. She knew it.

So why did she insist on saying it?

I smiled to myself.

She didn’t realize she’d get nowhere with him. That she could try to peek behind his wall, but he’d never let her see anything.

Mine.

I sat down at the table while Maren went to get some lunch. I watched as Bradley came in and joined her in line.

They spoke. Not much. He barely looked at her.

See, I don’t have anything to be irritated about. He’s not even talking to her. And she doesn’t seem to be that interested anyway.

I relaxed.

Then she touched his arm. I waited for his inevitable retreat.

The excitement bubbled up inside of me as I anticipated his shut down. The moment when he’d push her away and come to find me.

I licked my lips, feeling the scar, barely able to contain my pleasure.

Bradley went rigid.

Here it comes.

He smiled and said something to Maren that made her laugh.

Bradley Somers made someone smile.

It wasn’t right.

It was so, so wrong.

You love them, but in the end, you will be all alone.

“They’re awfully friendly.”

I groaned. “Don’t you have anything better to do than harass me? I thought you worked or something.”

Rosie ignored my statement and pulled out a chair next to me, sitting down. She crossed her legs together and watched my friends as they waited to get their food.

“So what has you in such a tizzy, sis?” Rosie arched her lovely eyebrow.

“I’m not your sister. I never have been,” I reminded her. At one time I wished she had been. In the beginning, before I saw how horrible she could be.

“Did you put on makeup this morning? You look ridiculous,” Rosie spat out. Was she annoyed at my rejection? Could it possibly bother her? I hoped it did.

I self-consciously wiped at my face. “I just wanted to try something new,” I said softly, lowering my face, hiding away as I always did with Rosie. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. No sense in wearing a target she could shoot at.

Rosie snorted. “What’s the point? You’re still disgusting.”

It hurt.

It would always hurt.

Nora Gilbert is ugly.

Nora Gilbert is a freak.

“Why do you think those two are spending so much time together?” Rosie asked pointedly. I lifted my head and watched my friends again. They were still in line and though they weren’t chatting any longer, something was different between them. It made me nauseated.

“How do you know they spend time together?” I demanded, hating how easily Rosie made me doubt.

Rosie didn’t bother answering me. She let my mistrust linger in the air between us.

“I never understood why Bradley was so attached to you. It never made any sense to me. He’s ridiculously hot but incredibly weird. He and I hung out a few times and he would never say much,” Rosie mused, staring off into space.