The Most Expensive Lie of All (16 page)

Hadn’t she once pinned her hopes and dreams for the future on both of them and been let down?

She shook her head. ‘I don’t want it that way.’

‘What way?
Hell!
’ Cruz raked a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t see what the problem is.’

‘I want to do it my way.’

‘So do it your way,’ he almost roared in frustration. ‘Debt-free.’

‘I would have thought you of all people would understand,’ she said, completely exasperated. ‘You hated that your mother didn’t trust you to do things your way when you were a teenager.’

‘This is not that same thing.’

‘It is to me.’

‘You’re being stupid now.’

Aspen rounded on him. ‘Do not call me stupid. I had one man put me down. I won’t take it from another.’

‘
Dios mio
, I didn’t mean it like that.’ He turned his back on her and then swung back just as quickly. ‘Aspen, I’m in love with you.’

Aspen wrapped her arms around her chest as if she was trying to hold her heart in. Was this some backhanded way for him to get Ocean Haven? She stared at him, her emotions in turmoil, a terrible numbness invading her limbs.

‘You’re not.’

Cruz swore. ‘I’ve just spent over two hundred million dollars on a property I’m prepared to give you. What would you call it?’

‘Crazy.’

‘Well, it is that...’

‘What would you buy me for my birthday?’ she asked suddenly.

Cruz frowned. ‘Your birthday is...two months away.’

‘You have no idea, do you?’

‘How is that relevant?’

It was relevant because she knew if he presented her with an envelope full of cash it would break her heart. It was relevant because if he really loved her for who she was he
would
have some idea.

His eyes narrowed on her face. ‘What is this? Some kind of test?’

‘And if it is?’

A calmness seemed to pervade his limbs. ‘You’re being ridiculously stubborn about this. I’m giving you everything that you want. Most women would be on their knees with gratitude right now.’

Aspen wasn’t sure if he meant sexually, but the fact that she thought it startled her. She wanted to be on her knees in front of him. She wanted to do all sorts of things to his body until he was as out of control as she was. But that wasn’t right. His power over her was so much stronger than Chad’s. Or her grandfather’s. If she stayed, if she accepted his
gift
, she knew she would do anything for him. Would accept anything from him. And that scared her to death. She would be completely at his mercy and a shadow of herself. A woman seeking the approval of a man who didn’t listen to her. It wasn’t how she wanted to live her life. Nor was he the type of person she wanted to share her life with. Not again.

‘I don’t play those games, Aspen,’ he warned.

‘And I don’t play yours. Not anymore. Goodbye, Cruz. I hope you never run out of money. You’ll be awfully lost if you do.’

Thankfully the lift doors opened just as she pressed the button, but it wasn’t divine intervention finally looking out for her. Ricardo was inside. His wide smile of greeting faltered when he glimpsed her expression and a stilted silence filled the space between them as she waited for the lift doors to close.

Once they had, Ricardo turned to his brother. ‘What was that all about?’

Cruz let out a harsh laugh. ‘That was Aspen Carmichael making me feel like a fool. Again.’

CHAPTER TWELVE

E
XACTLY
ONE
WEEK
to the day later Cruz sat on the squash court beside his brother after a particularly gruelling game. Both of them were sweat-soaked and exhausted and Cruz relished the feeling of complete burnout that had turned his muscles to rubber.

His phone beeped an incoming message and since he was right there he checked it.

Frustration warred with disappointment when he saw that it was from Lauren Burnside. Well, what had he expected? Aspen Carmichael to send him a message telling him how much she missed him?

Right.
She’d rejected him. How many ways did he need to be kicked before he got the message?

‘Now the woman sends me a text,’ he muttered.

‘Who?’

‘My lawyer.’

Maybe if she’d dropped in he would have taken her up on her offer to get up close and personal with his abs. He wouldn’t mind losing himself in a woman right now. Smelling her sweet floral scent with a touch of vanilla. Winding his hands through her tumble of wild curls. Hearing her laugh.

‘You’re muttering,’ Ricardo said unhelpfully.

That was because he needed to visit a loony bin so that he could undergo electroshock therapy and once and for all convince his body that Aspen Carmichael was
not
the woman to end all women. Bad enough that he’d thought he had been in love with her. That he’d told her.

He clamped down on the unwanted memory. It had been a foolish thought that had died as soon as she’d walked out through the door. A foolish thought brought on by an adrenaline rush after the polo match.

Feeling spent, he scrolled through Lauren’s text. ‘Idiot woman.’

‘I thought she looked quite smart.’

‘Not Lauren. Aspen.’

‘Ah.’

Cruz scowled. ‘This is not a dentist,
amigo
. Close your mouth.’

Ricardo smiled. ‘Are you going to tell me what she’d done now?’

‘According to Lauren, she’s signed Ocean Haven over to me.’

‘Shouldn’t you be happy about that? I mean, isn’t that what you wanted?’

‘No.’ He ignored the interested expression on his brother’s face. ‘I don’t want anything to do with that property ever again.’ Scowling, he punched a number into his phone. ‘Maria, get the jet fuelled up and cancel any meetings I have later today.’

‘I thought you just said you didn’t want anything to do with that property ever again?’

‘I won’t after I handle this.’

‘Ah,
hermano
, I hate to point out the obvious, but this didn’t end so well for you last week.’

Cruz picked up his bag and shoved his racquet inside. ‘Last week I was too attached to the outcome. I’m not now.’

* * *

Aspen was in a wonderful mood. Super, in fact. Her chores were almost done for the day and all that was left was to bed Delta down in her stall. Now that the polo season was over there was less pressure on her and Donny to have the place ready for Wednesday night chukkas and there were fewer students. That was a slight downside, but Aspen found that as winter rolled around the lessons veered more towards dressage, with her students preferring to practise in the indoor arena rather than get frostbite in the snow.

Pity about the leak.

‘Or not,’ she said, to no one in particular. Roofs and their holes, walls and their peeling paint, fences and their rusted nails were no longer her problem. And she couldn’t be happier.

‘Ow!’ Aspen glanced down at her thumb and winced. ‘Damn thing.’

She looked at her other fingers with their newly bitten nails. When had that happened? When had she started biting her nails again? She hadn’t since she was about thirteen and her grandfather had painted that horrible-tasting liquid on the ends of them.

Rubbing at the small wound, she picked up the horse rug she planned to throw over Delta and headed for her stall.

Delta whickered.

‘Hello, beauty,’ Aspen crooned. ‘I see you’ve finished dinner. Me? I’m not hungry.’

Which was surprising, really, because she couldn’t remember if she’d even eaten that day.

‘Who needs food anyway?’ She laughed. Who needed food when you didn’t have any will to live? ‘Now, that’s not true,’ she told Delta. ‘I have plenty to live for. Becoming a vet, a new beginning, adventure, never having to see Cruz Rodriguez ever again.’

She leant against the weathered blanket she’d tossed over Delta’s back. He’d told her he loved her but how could you love someone you didn’t know? And she’d nearly convinced herself that she had loved him too.

‘It’s called desire,’ she informed the uninterested mare. ‘Lust that is so powerful it fries your brain.’

But she wasn’t going to think about that. Had forbidden herself to think about it all week. And it had worked. Sort of.

Aspen took in a deep breath and revelled in the smell of horse and hay and Ocean Haven. Her throat constricted and tears pricked at the back of her eyes, her energy suddenly leaving her. She would miss this. Miss her horses. Her school. But things changed. That was the only certainty in life, wasn’t it?

‘The man who now owns you is big and strong and he’ll take care of you.’ Delta tossed her head. ‘I’m serious. He loves horses more than anything else.’

‘Is that right?’

Aspen spun around. Stared. Then swallowed. Cruz stood before her, wearing a striking grey suit and a crisp white shirt. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I think you know why I’m here this time.’

She straightened her spine. ‘Boy, that lawyer of yours works fast.’

‘She should. She’s paid enough. Now, answer my question.’

Aspen straightened Delta’s already straight blanket over her rump. Better that than looking at Cruz and losing her train of thought. ‘I would have thought it was obvious. You bought Ocean Haven so it’s yours, not mine.’

‘I told you that was a mistake,’ he bit out. ‘The whole thing happened while I was playing polo.’

Aspen shook her head. ‘You really expect me to believe that?’ she scoffed. ‘That supermodel of yours wouldn’t blink without your say-so.’

‘Supermodel?’

‘We
are
talking about the brunette who happened to know you were in the shower, aren’t we?’

Cruz narrowed his gaze and Aspen stared him down. Then he smiled. A full-on toothpaste-commercial-worthy smile. ‘I’ve never slept with Lauren.’

‘Like I would care.’ She jerked her head. ‘Mind moving? I’m tired of you blocking my way. No pun intended.’

Cruz continued to smile. ‘None taken.’

But he didn’t move.

‘You’re right about Lauren acting under my instructions,’ he began. ‘Unfortunately they were my
old
instructions. My
new
ones were caught up somewhere in cyberspace when her firm’s e-mail system went down.’

‘I don’t care. I’m moving on.’

‘Where to?’

‘I don’t know.’ She shrugged. ‘Somewhere exciting.’

‘And what about your mother’s horseshoe?’

‘It’s gone.’ She’d cried over that enough when she’d returned last week. ‘And before you ask I don’t know where and nor does Donny. When I came back last week it wasn’t here.’ She sniffed. ‘I’m taking it as a sign.’

‘A sign of what?’

His voice was soft. As gentle as it had been the night she had told him about Chad. It made a horrible pain well up inside her chest. ‘A sign that I’ve put too much store in The Farm for too long. I thought I needed it, but it turns out I needed something else more.’

He stepped closer to her. ‘What?’

‘It’s irrelevant. You know what
that
means, don’t you, Cruz?’

Unfortunately he ignored her blatant dig. Blast him.

‘Try me.’

‘No.’ She moved away from him and fossicked with Delta’s feed bucket. ‘I’ve discovered that I do have some pride after all, so...no.’

Cruz grabbed the feed bucket and took it out of her numb fingers. Aspen accidentally took a deep breath and it was all him. When he took her hands she closed her eyes to try and ward off how good it felt to have him touch her. She swallowed. Yanked her hands out of his.

‘I’m going to finish my vet course and take an internship somewhere, start over,’ she said quickly.

Not taking the hint that she didn’t want him to touch her, he slid his hand beneath her chin and raised her eyes to his. ‘Start over with me?’

Aspen jerked back. ‘I didn’t know you were looking for a new vet?’

‘I don’t mean professionally and you know it,’ he growled. Then his voice softened. ‘I’ve missed you,
mi gatita
. I love you.’

‘I—’

‘You don’t believe me?’ He blew out a breath. ‘Kind of ironic that a week ago it was me who didn’t believe you, wouldn’t you say?’

Aspen’s chest felt tight. ‘No. I wouldn’t.’ Nothing seemed ironic to her right now. More like tragic.

Cruz pushed a hand through his hair and Aspen wished he was a thousand miles away. So much easier to deny her feelings when he wasn’t actually right beside her.

‘I know you’re angry, Aspen, and I don’t blame you. I thought I knew about human nature. I thought I had it all covered. But you showed me I was wrong. After your grandfather kicked me out I vowed never to need anyone again. I saw money as the way to ensure that I was never expendable. I was wrong. I understand why you didn’t want me to give you The Farm now, and if you want we’ll consider it a loan. You can pay me back.’

Aspen felt a spurt of hope at his words. But that didn’t change their fundamental natures. She couldn’t afford to be in love with him. She’d become needy for his affection and he’d do it again. At some point he wouldn’t listen to her and they’d be right back where they started. Better to save herself that pain now.

‘I can’t.’

‘I know you were hurt, Aspen. By your grandfather’s expectations, by the lucky-to-still-be-breathing Anderson. Me. But I promise if you give me a chance I won’t hurt you again.’

Aspen shook her head sadly. ‘You will.’ Her cheeks were damp and Cruz brushed his thumbs over the tears she hadn’t even known she was shedding. ‘You won’t mean to, because I know deep down you’re kind-hearted, but—’ She stopped. Recalled what she had said to Delta. He
would
take care of her. But could she trust his love? Could she trust him to listen to her in the future? Could she trust that she wouldn’t get lost in trying to please him? ‘I’m not great in relationships.’

‘Then we really are perfect for each other because I’m hopeless. Or at least I was. You make me want to change all that. You make me feel human, Aspen. You make me want to
embrace
life again.’

Aspen’s nose started tingling as she held back more useless tears.

‘I know you’re scared,
chiquita
. I was too.’

‘Was?’ She glanced at him.

Cruz leaned towards her and kissed her softly. ‘Was.’ He gave a half smile and reached inside his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small red velour pouch. ‘You asked me last week what I would get you for your birthday and I had no idea. It took me a while, but finally I realised that I was imposing my way of fixing things over yours.’

Aspen gazed at the small pouch he’d placed in her hand.

‘One of my flaws is that I see something wrong and I want to fix it. My instinct is to take care of those around me. The only way I knew how to do that without getting hurt was to remain emotionally detached from everything. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t do that with you. You fill me up, Aspen and you make me feel so damned much. You make me want so much. No one else has ever come close.’

Aspen’s mouth went dry as she felt the hard piece of jewellery inside the pouch. She’d guessed what it was already and she honestly didn’t know what her response should be. She wanted to be with Cruz more than anything else in the world but the ring felt big. Huge, in fact. Oh, no doubt it would be beautiful, but it wouldn’t be
her
. It wouldn’t be something she would ever feel comfortable wearing—especially with her job—and it was just one more sign that they could never make a proper relationship work.

‘Open it. It’s not what you think it is.’

Untying the drawstrings with shaky fingers, Aspen carefully tipped the contents of the pouch into her hand.

‘Oh!’ Her breath whooshed out of her lungs and she stared at a tiny, delicate wood carving of a horse attached to a thin strip of leather. ‘Oh, Cruz, its exquisite.’ Her shocked eyes flew to his. ‘It’s just like the ones I saw lined up on your mother’s mantelpiece. You
did
do them for her, didn’t you?’

‘I did,’ he confirmed gruffly.

Studying him, she was completely taken aback by the raw emotion on his face and her lips trembled as her own deep feelings broke to the surface. ‘You
do
love me.’

Cruz cupped her face in his hands and lifted her mouth to his for a searing kiss. ‘I do. More than life itself.’

‘Oh.’ Aspen clutched Cruz’s shoulders and welcomed the fold of his strong embrace as the hot tears she had been holding at bay spilled recklessly down her cheeks. ‘You’ve made me cry.’

‘And me.’

Aspen looked up and found that his eyes were wet. She touched a tear clinging to the bottom of his lashes. ‘When did you make this?’

‘During the week. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and my executive team were just about ready to call in the professionals with white coats. I have to say it took a few attempts before my fingers started working again.’

Aspen clutched the tiny horse. ‘I’ll treasure it.’

‘And I’ll treasure you. Turn around,’ he commanded huskily.

Aspen let out a shaky breath, happiness threatening to burst right out of her. She clasped the tiny horse to her chest as he gently moved her hair aside and tied the leather strap around her neck. Then she turned back to face him.

He looked down to where the horse lay nestled between her breasts. ‘You do know that in some countries this binds you to me for ever?’

Aspen smiled. ‘For ever?’

‘Completely. And in case you’re at all unsure what I mean by that I have something else.’

He produced a small box and Aspen knew this time it would be a ring. She also knew that no matter how ostentatious it was she would accept it from him, because she knew it had come from a place of absolute love.