She flinched, as if he had slapped her. “I have come to understand the wisdom of
my Grove’s decision regarding the baratti. Forcing you to fight is beneath us. It
is an evil.”
Daniel leaned closer, a predatory instinct rising within him. He could sense her
resolve faltering. Lyralliantha was vulnerable. “What if I wanted to fight? What
if I enjoyed it? As Thillmarius once told you.
If that were true, if death
were
no concern to me, would it still bother you?”
She did not look away, though his face was mere inches from her own. He could smell
the sweetness of her warm breath as she started to answer, her lower lip trembling
imperceptibly. “It would still be wrong.”
“Wrong in the greater sense, or wrong because it would hurt you?” he said, pushing
to the heart of the matter. Her lips served as a crimson counterpoint to the cerulean
blue of her eyes. He could feel an almost physical draw toward her.
Was she moving closer?
Searching his face, she didn’t reply as the moment stretched out, and then she closed
her eyes. It was a signal that no man could ignore
,
and Daniel felt the wolf rise within him, the male spirit that he had learned was
an integral part of his psyche.
Kiss her, take her,
it roared.
“You are a rapist.”
Flinching at the sudden remembrance
of her words
,
he drew back.
Not anymore, never again.
He had come to decide that she was right, he could do nothing to fix the past and
shame was wasteful. He could only control the present.
I have been a victim, both of others and of my own desires and weakness, but no longer.
Henceforth I will take only what I truly desire, and when I do
,
I will not apologize.
Daniel moved further away
,
and he saw a change in her aura as it flickered from arousal to something akin to
annoyance.
She was testing me,
he surmised. Lyralliantha’s lips parted, as if to answer his question, but he stopped
her, “I’ve made up my mind. If you will allow it
,
I will take their offer. Let me see my family, my people, and I will return to face
whatever opponent they wish to put against me.”
She looked unhappy with his resolve, “And if I refuse?”
“You will regret it.”
“Is that a threat, Tyrion?”
He shook his head, “No, but if you truly care about the suffering of others, you’ll
let me go. Keep me here and I will wither. Let me see them. I would rather return,
vital and alive, to face a swift death
,
than to live in slow decay.”
Her visage hardened, “Very well, it shall be as you wish.
I will remove all the restrictions on your collar for a full week. A horse will be
waiting for you in the morning.
”
With that pronouncement she left, radiating a coolness that made Daniel curious.
He pushed it aside, though, in favor of looking to the future. Would he dare to see
Kate? What would his parents say when they saw him alive? Would the people of Colne
curse him for what he had done?
“Daddy, why is he so stupid?” Moira asked me.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “In what regard?”
“It’s obvious she likes him, but now he’s going to go back to
see the other girl. If he had stayed with her in the beginning this wouldn’t have
happened, and now, if he would just stay with Lyra then he wouldn’t have to fight.
They could be happy,” my daughter explained.
Lynarralla spoke up, “Why do you say that it is obvious that she likes him?”
Moira looked at her, “You can tell by the way she’s acting.
For one thing, s
he says she doesn’t want to cause him cruelty, but she does more than that. She visits
more than she has to, she keeps looking at him. All the clues are there, in the story.”
The She’Har girl laughed, “I think you do not understand my people.”
Moira smirked in return, “I think you don’t understand your human self.”
I decided to interrupt while their disagreement was still friendly, “I’m afraid in
this case, Lynarralla, my daughter is correct. She was harboring some feelings for
him, but she didn’t understand them any better than he did.”
“Would understanding such irrational feelings have helped them?” asked the daughter
of Lyralliantha and Tyrion Illeniel.
“I think so. He would later regard that moment as a colossal mistake. If he had
remained, he might have lived peacefully there
for the rest of his days
, but by accepting the deal her elders offered him
,
he continued the cascade of events that eventually led him to genocide,” I told her.
Matthew broke in, “But if all that hadn’t happened we wouldn’t be here today.”
I nodded, “That’s true also. The remaining free population was dwindling. By now
humankind would have gone extinct, except for the slaves
whom
they bred.”
“I don’t like this story,” said Moira.
“You aren’t alone,” I told her, “but there is beauty even in tragedy and lessons to
be learned from such extremes. Let me continue…”
***
Daniel rose early the next morning, a feeling of anticipation robbing him of his ability
to sleep. True to her word, a horse had been brought for him. Garlin appeared and
led him down to see it.
The warden
spoke quietly in the early morning light, “This is a good horse. Don’t even think
about running off with her.”
The mare or the girl I left behind?
Daniel knew he meant the horse, though. “I will be back,” he told the other man.
“They can set limitations on your collar, even from across great distances,” said
Garlin. “If they decide that you’ve been gone too long, they can reset it and you’ll
die, no matter what. Don’t forget that.”
“I said I’ll return,” huffed Daniel. “No need to keep warning me.”
The older warden looked him over carefully. “Many have tried it in the past. They
all died. Why are you taking that?” He pointed at Daniel’s cittern.
“I can’t leave it. It’s dearer to me than my life.”
Garlin grunted, “Just remember your purpose, don’t get distracted by music and daydreams.”
“What purpose?” asked Daniel, suddenly confused.
The warden gave him a serious look, “They should have explained it to you. You ride,
you examine, and you keep your senses open. If you detect someone with talent, you
kill them. No explanations, no excuses, just kill them and move on.”
Is this what they normally tell wardens?
Apparently they hadn’t told Garlin the reason for Daniel’s trip. He decided it was
better to leave it alone.
An hour later he was making his way through the massive trees, riding back in a direction
that he hadn’t been in over five years. He had first ridden into the deep woods seeking
punishment, and an end to his misdeeds. He had thought the forest
was
inhabited by gods
who
would show him the way to atone for his sins, and he had believed it would require
his death.
Now five years later, he was riding in the other direction. He no longer feared the
wardens, he was one. He no longer believed in the forest gods, or atonement. He
was a slave to a race from another world. Forgiveness was not his goal these days,
merely acceptance, and maybe a proper farewell.
Death had been his frequent companion for years, and if Lyralliantha was to be believed,
it would finally come for him when he returned, but his
thoughts refused to dwell on that.
He carried several days’ worth of food in his saddlebags and a wooden sword at his
side. The leather armor he wore now fit him perfectly. His body had filled out over
the years, even with the bland food that he had received in Ellentrea.
The journey home was little more than half a day, but he was prepared to camp for
most of the week if necessary. There was no telling what sort of reception he would
find. He worried that his parents might no longer be there, having moved or fallen
victim to some illness.
He had no way of knowing.
The house was still there, sitting small and quiet on the hillside, a tiny wisp of
smoke exiting the small chimney on the east end. The barn looked as though it needed
some work
,
and the yard in front hadn’t been swept in some time. That might have been because
of his absence
, though;
two people would find more work without their son there to assist them.
His magesight had already found his mother within the house, tending a small pot in
the kitchen. He knocked on the door to get her attention.
Unexpected visitors were rare in the hills outside of Colne, so she was slow to respond
,
and when she did
,
she did not immediately open the door.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s your son,” said Daniel, not knowing what else to answer.
The door flew open
,
and a very angry woman stood in the doorway. “Do you think I take kindly to such
jokes?!”
Helen Tennick was older than he remembered. Her hair was
more gray
than brown now
,
and the lines under her eyes seemed to have been etched there. Daniel remembered
his mother as the most beautiful woman
in the world, aside from Kate perhaps, but she had aged far beyond that memory. He
was taken aback by the sight of her and failed to answer her.
Her eyes took in his appearance and found their own answer, fear finding a home in
them. She registered his leathers and the sword at his hip and it was only then that
he appreciated what he must look like to her.
He stood almost six
feet
in height, with broad shoulders and the powerful musculature of a grown man. He
was wider than his father had been, with a square jaw and
a wild beard. His hair had grown long, reaching past his shoulders and complementing
his facial hair.
In short
,
he looked like a trapper or hunter
who
had been in the wilderness for years, but his clothing and equipment named him as
a warden. There was good cause for the fear he saw reflected in her eyes.
“What do you want?” she said, finding her voice before he did.
“Mother, it’s me, Daniel. I’ve come back. I know I look different now, but it’s
really me,” he told her, hoping his words would reach her.
Anger replaced her fear for a moment
,
and she stared up at him, “I don’t know what you think…” Her voice trailed away
as her eyes locked on his. Recognition
dawned upon her
,
and she stepped back a moment. “Daniel? Is that really you?”
The plaintive sound in her voice made his heart ache.
“It’s really me,” he reassured her.
Helen’s hands fumbled at the front of his
leathers as she sought to pull him in. Catching them
,
he pulled her into a hug before walking with her into the house. She never let go,
they walked together, like some awkward four legged beast.
“We thought you were dead,” she cried into his chest, trying to release the tension
and grief that had been buried within her. “Daniel, what happened to you? Why are
you dressed like that?”
“I’m a warden now, Mother,” he answered. “It’s a long story
,
and I’ll tell you everything, but it will take some time. Where’s Dad?”
That started her crying again, “He’s out in the hills, with the sheep. He’ll be so
glad. You don’t know what losing you has done to him. We have to tell him now, this
can’t wait all day.”
Helen was almost incoherent
, her words slurred with tears and relief. “Let me go find him.”
Daniel held her tightly, “No Mom, I’ll go. D
on’t fret over it.
Y
ou probably need to watch the pot.” His face was wet.
“To hell with the pot!” she exclaimed. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Pulling away
,
she took only seconds to take the stewpot off the fire,
and
then she had her arms around him again. “Oh, my little boy, I’ve missed you so much.
I never thought I’d see you again.”
Together they walked
side by side, to find his father
,
Alan. Daniel couldn’t help but wonder at how small his mother seemed now, her shoulder
easily fitting beneath his arm.
Was she always so tiny?
It was a half hour’s walk before they reached the place
where
he had
watched
the sheep grazing
,
and the entire trip felt nostalgic to Daniel. The rocks, the bushes, even the old
game trails lightly marked by the passage of deer and other animals. He might have
been there just yesterday, tending the flock while his father worked in the barn at
home.
His magesight found his father long before their eyes could pick him out. The distance
wasn’t that far, but the small scrubby trees and bushes made him difficult to see
unless you knew exactly where he was standing. The sheep were spread out on a gentle
downslope, cropping the sturdy summer grasses.
Daniel waved and his father began walking to meet them, his face wrinkling in confusion.
He’s wondering why his wife his walking under the arm of a strange man,
realized Daniel.
When they were closer, Helen ran forward, “Alan
,
look! Do you recognize him?”
“What’s all this about?” said Alan Tennick. “Who is this
,
Helen?” He was searching Daniel’s face
,
and
recognition was beginning to dawn upon him.
“It’s our boy, Alan. It’s Daniel! He’s come back to us!” declared Helen, standing
between them, unable to contain her emotions.
Alan stared at his son, examining him and looking past his beard and wild hair. “Daniel?
Is that you, boy?”
“It’s me, Dad,” said Daniel softly as his vision blurred.
The older man stood still, his body stiff with shock. “You look like you missed the
shearing for two years running
,
and then a bear used your head to wipe his arse. Where have you been?!” He delivered
the first sentence in a serious tone
,
but his voice broke when he got to the question. Rushing forward Alan threw his
arms around his son
,
and soon all three of them were caught up in the moment, a mingling of grief and
joy.
They returned to the house after that, leaving the Tennicks’ new dog, Lacy, to watch
the sheep. After they had settled again, the time came to share his story.
“First, I want to tell you how sorry I am,” he told his parents. “I never intended
to leave that day. Things just happened, and after that they kept happening
,
and everything went out of control. Plus, there were secrets, things I should have
told you.”
“Kate told us some of it,” said his father. “After you were gone, she told us some
of the stuff that she didn’t tell none of the others.”
“What did she tell everyone?”
Helen spoke up then, “She said Ronnie tried to rape her
,
and you killed him. Aston Hayes said you attacked them for no reason, but she shamed
him into admitting the truth
. After they saw the marks on her
,
nobody believed Aston or Billy.”
“That’s all she said?” asked Daniel.
“Nah, there was more, but it was just details,” answered Alan. “She told us about
the warden, but some of it was hard to believe.”
“Whatever else she said, you can believe her,” said Daniel. “I was hiding a lot from
you. Kate was always honest, but I lied about everything.”
“Daniel, she said you killed Ronnie without touching him,” said Helen hesitantly.
He nodded, “That’s true, but I can do a lot more than that. Will you be alright if
I show you a little? Just to help you understand.”
His parents looked at each other before nodding. “Go ahead, Son,” said Alan.
He used his aythar to stir the wind in the room, creating a small vortex of air that
made the fire in hearth flare and rise in a column of flame. He stopped as he saw
his parents’ eyes widening in alarm. “I can do a lot more than that,” he told them.
“I can lift things, create walls that aren’t there
,
or control the air. I can kill with a thought or manipulate people’s emotions.
I see without using my eyes
,
and I can sense things
for almost a mile outside our house right now.”
“When did…” began Helen.
“It started almost a year before I left,” said Daniel
,
and then he let the story find his lips, spilling some of the secrets he had never
told them. He kept the event that had first awakened his abilities to himself, preferring
not to let them know about Brenda. He also refrained from talking about the women
he had slept with, although he was sure some rumors must have reached their ears by
then. He explained his fear when he thought he was cursed, and how he had hidden
his gifts and avoided the detection of the warden.
“After I killed Ronnie, and then the warden,” said Daniel, “I believed my life was
over. I took his horse and rode for the deep woods, thinking the forest gods would
take my life as punishment for my sins.”
“But you’re here now,” said Helen. “That was over five years ago, and you’re here
with us again. What happened?”
His heart ached, but he had already decided not to tell them the full truth. It was
bad enough that he couldn’t stay, but if they learned of his torment, the killing,
and his ultimate fate—it would be too much for them. “I was taken into the service
of Lyralliantha, one of the forest gods. It was she who allowed me to return, briefly,
to see you. So that I could apologize for all the wrongs I committed. The clothes
I’m wearing are no mistake
;
I am one of their wardens now.”