The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (14 page)

Sadly, Fizer instantly refused it and
was sent back to the Kent County Jail to await a date for the
trial, thus, forcing Paula and her family to continue to live with
the opened wound for what would be another seven more months before
justice would finally arrive for Jeff and his family. Justice that
could have started so much sooner had Fizer listened to her
attorney, admit her guilt and listened to reason.

The Posting Wars
Rekindled

“
Those that are conscious
of Guilt cannot bear the innocence of others, so they will reduce
all others to their level,” ---Charles James Fox

Almost immediately Chiquita’s aunt went
on to the Grand Rapids Press posting site and began praising the
court system and praying that Judge Johnston and the victim’s
family have mercy for her niece as “Freak accidents do happen as it
did in this case.” She went on to state, “My beloved neice (sic)
has never harmed or put any one in a position to be harmed in any
way, shape or form.” My guess is her aunt either didn’t believe
that Chiquita had previously plead guilty in April of that year to
domestic assault when she slashed at Jeff with a steak knife, or
that she just let it slip her mind.

She further went on to imply that her
niece was scared that night and has been ever since and felt that
Chiquita had already been punished enough, “because she will have
to live with the unfortunate evnt (sic) for the rest of her life. I
thank each person for standing behind your beliefs and what you
value as an individual on this matter. For the family, our family
prayers are with you all every day. Jeff will be missed and
continued to be loved by many.” More than she could ever know. “May
the God of my understanding be with you all, seeing through this
difficult time and loss,” she added.

Immediately following her comment a
person by the name of Gatekeeper stated, “If I'm on the jury it'll
be a not guilty...it is self-defense...the coward had a knife
attacking a woman.”

It was a little after 10pm that night
when I received a call from Paula asking me for a favor. Apparently
she had been keeping up on the comments posted by Chiquita’s Aunt
and wanted to reply but didn’t know or rather didn’t want to do it
first. Thus, since I had already made my presence known in the last
posting wars, Paula asked if I would write a reply to the comments
posted thus far. After reading the comments posted by Fizer’s aunt,
I was more than happy to “throw down the gauntlet” and reply, thus,
about an hour later I countered by stating:

“
Wow I see I must address a
few things here... first off to gate how did he have the knife when
Chiquita is heard on the 911 call as saying "I had the knife, we
were fighting over it, it slipped and he got cut."

Tell me sir how is that possible? By
the way, I see the press again forgot to mention that Chiquita has
a prior domestic assault for the same thing... attack Mr. Jeff
Dryden with a knife…

Next... to the aunt, as a cousin of
Jeff's and as well as a Christian, and a legal professional, let me
first say that you’re right God is good. However, God has little to
do with Chiquita's prior criminal record which proves to the extent
of your nieces alleged innocents of harming others, she has a prior
charge for domestic assault as being the AGGRESSOR in that incident
that took place two months prior to Jeff's MURDER.

You allege that this was a “Freak
Accident” but let me ask you how does one get so many bite marks
all over the face, the neck, the arms, the chest, the torso, the
legs, the calves, the feet and even the toes just a few moments
before death? These bite marks make it appear that Jeff was
defending HIMSELF from a vicious assault from your Allegedly
innocent Niece..., furthermore, how does one get a knife slammed at
an almost 80 degree angle, that goes through the neck in such a way
as to pass the cartilage, the Traci, and the thyroid, if it
allegedly just slipped? You seem to forget to consider these
factors when claiming her innocents.

Thus, this was not an accident... she
was not an "Innocent victim." Let us look at it this
way,

1. She was bigger and stronger than her
boyfriend who weight around 120lbs,

2. She said he was drinking but the
medical report stated that there was no alcohol found in his
system...

3. She said he had the knife to the
cops but was caught on the 911 tape stating that she had the knife
in her hands at the time of the Alleged accident,

4. She said that she was defending
herself but the bite marks all over his body indicate that he was
backing away from his attacker. It does not take much for anyone
with a sound judgment and normalcy of the mind to figure out that
she killed him, and that she is not innocent in this
matter.

Mind you, no one raises a child to
become a murderer that is a decision they make for themselves and
sadly, it is a decision that not only affects the family of those
they kill but their own family as well.

I do not blame you for believing she is
innocent, that she is non-violent but still, the evidence and her
prior actions, her criminal record stand against her in a big way.
We are all God's Children… and as such we need to live as he asks
us to and atone for our sins, we can be forgiven for them, but
first we must admit to them... until Chiquita can come to those
terms as admit this, she is not saved... she is not of
God...

I know you like to quote from the bible
so I thought I would to, thus Galatians 5:19-21 – 19 states: Now
the works of the flesh are manifest: which are fornication,
uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, 20 idolatry, witchcrafts, enmities,
contentions, emulations, wraths, quarrels, dissensions, sects, 21
envies, murders, drunkenness, and such like. Of these, I foretell
you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall
not obtain the kingdom of God.”

After I wrote this Paula in turn wrote
what she wanted to express when she stated:

“
I am Jeff's mother and I
want everyone to know the truth and their relationship. My son was
miserable in this relationship. Chiquita was blackmailing him so
that he would pay all her and her mom’s bills. She is a violent
person. He came to my house almost daily with bruises, bite marks,
black eyes and other knife marks on his arm. She had other
boyfriends, but she controlled Jeff. It was no accident. She has a
prior domestic assault on him and is still on probation for that.
His death Certificate says Homicide; he could not do this to
himself. That is the TRUTH.”

One of Jeff’s friends followed her and
went on to say:

“
Alright for those of you
that think this was his fault because he was the guy, and he should
have died, you’re wrong! He was my friend and they have had
domestic problems in the past, not him but HER, she was the abuser,
she was the aggressor. If you don't know the full story keep your
mouth shut cause she did this when he got home from work and
surprised him by stabbing him without him being able to defend
himself, so who is the coward now? She deserves more than what she
will get for what she did. Whatever she gets won't ever come close
to the pre-meditated murder of my friend, it won't EVER bring him
back. Whether she was the smartest person, who never did a bad
thing in her life it was still wrong and she needs to pay for it.
Apparently she had issues that’s she didn't take care of, so now
she can pay for them each and every day she sits in that hell hole.
I'm sorry but I'm not going to sit here and let naive people who
think they know what happened, say stuff that they don't know.
Educate yourself, figure out what really happened then open your
mouth, but until than you have no say in what the hell happens to
this person.”

CHAPTER 14:

True or False:

WHAT DO YOU REALLY KNOW
ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE?

There’s a show out on the cable
networks that has been out for some time staring two dorky looking
guys that find myths and busts them to determine whether or not the
myth could be true of fiction.

In a way, this chapter will be doing
the same thing for you, as I am sure there are a few things you
know or rather think you know as fact about domestic abuse on both
men and women that you have either heard about or read. However, it
may surprise you to find out that most of what you know or rather
most of what you think you know are based around half-truths,
interpretational truths, or just plain made up.

Over the months that I did research for
this book, I became awestruck at times about thing that I remember
being told in both high school and college as facts about domestic
abuse, only to find the research those facts were based on to
include more information that I was not party to thus making them
really only partial realities.

Thus, without having to go into any
more detail, let us begin this little test and see what you really
know about domestic abuse. The answers to this follow at the end of
this chapter, try to be honest and not check them until you are
finished with the last question.

True or False:

1. According to the Federal Bureau of
Investigations (FBI) a man beats a woman every 13
seconds.

2. One in every four women experience
domestic violence sometime in their life.

3. Every 37 seconds in America, a man
is battered by his girlfriend or spouse.

4. Men more than women in a domestic
abuse either are threatened with a knife, or had a knife used on
them than women.

5. Women are victims of 85% of all
cases of domestic violence.

6. Batterers are people with mental
illnesses not person who society regards as normal.

7. Domestic Violence by men are all
about power and control

8. Domestic Violence is the leading
cause of injury to women.

9. Women who kill their Batters receive
longer prison sentences than men who kill their
partners.

10. Abusive Fathers are successful in
winning sole custody about 70% of the time.

ANSWERS:

1. According to the Federal Bureau of
Investigations (FBI) a man beats a woman every 13
seconds.

FALSE
: The FBI has nothing to do with Domestic Violence issues and
thus does not tabulate information on Domestic Abuse (Gelles R. ,
2007)

2. One in every four women experience
domestic violence sometime in their life.

TRUE
HOWEVER
, according to the same study this
is based from, the number of MEN experiencing Domestic violence
sometime in their live is also the same depending on the definition
of aggression (Staff, Fifty Domestic Violence Myths,
2009).

3. Every 37 seconds in America, a man
is battered by his girlfriend or spouse.

TRUE
: “Every year 1,510,455 women and 834,732 men are victims of
physical violence by an intimate partner,” (Staff D. o.,
2000)

4. Men more than women in a domestic
abuse either are threatened with a knife, or had a knife used on
them than women.

TRUE:
Out of a survey of 8000 women, nearly 11% stated they had
used a knife on their male lover, 22% stated they had threatened
their male lover with a knife, (Staff D. o., 2000)

5. Women are victims of 85% of all
cases of domestic violence.

FALSE
: “This Statistic from the Nation Crime Victimization Survey
understates and distorts the true incidences of domestic violence
since men are less likely to view partner aggression as a crime,”
(Straus, 1999)

6. Batterers are people with mental
illnesses not person who society regards as normal.

TRUE
: “Studies on this issue show that offenders are far more
likely to have personality disorders, furthermore as the violence
becomes more severe the likelihood of psychopathology approaches
100%, (Dutton, 1994)

7. Domestic Violence by men are all
about power and control.

FALSE
: Though a 32 page survey found a link between dominance and
physical aggression, the connection turned out to be stronger in
female-initiated than male-initiated aggression. Thus the survey
suggest that women, not men, who abuse, do so for power and control
over the other, (Straus M. , Dominance and Symmetry in Partner
Violence by male and Female University students in 32 nations,
2008)

8. Domestic Violence is the leading
cause of injury to women.

FALSE
: Currently the leading cause of injury to women is
unintentional falls, Motor Vehicle accidents, and over exertion,
(Staff, Leading Causes of Injury among women aged 18 and older by
age, 2006)

9. Women who kill their Batters receive
longer prison sentences than men who kill their
partners.

FALSE
: The average Prison sentence for men who kill their wives is
17.5 years; the average sentence for women convicted of killing
their husband or boyfriend is 6.2 years, (bet Chiquita wish she
knew that beforehand)

10. Abusive Fathers are successful in
winning sole custody about 70% of the time.