The Naked Pint (17 page)

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Authors: Christina Perozzi

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Are We Clear? Kristallklar
THIS
BEER’S
FOR YOU IF YOU LIKE: SHINY CLEAR THINGS. LIGHTER HEFEWEIZENS. SUN-TANNING. CLARITY. WAFTS, HINTS, TOUCHES OF CLOVE AND TROPICAL FRUIT. BEING UNOBTRUSIVE. LOW ALCOHOL.
In the craft beer world, authenticity is always appreciated. So if you’re not big on the bananas and spice in your traditional Hefeweizen but you still want to enjoy a true Bavarian Wheat beer, you actually have a great option in a rare but tasty beer style called Kristallklar. As we’ve reminded you ad nauseum, most wheat beers are unfiltered and cloudy. This style, however, is one of the only German wheat beers that
is
filtered. There’s not much mystery in this style, but Kristallklar (or
Krystal Weizen
, “crystal wheat” in German) is what you would imagine: a nice, crisp, clean ale that tastes like a lighter version of a Bavarian Hefeweizen. The filtration removes the residual yeast that contributes to the bananas and cloves in the beer’s flavor and character. Kristall Wheat beers are much lighter in body, are pale straw to light amber in color, and come in at around 5% ABV. You generally won’t find a lot of these beers on tap in America, but if you’re lucky, you may come across one. If you do, pick it up if only for the experience. These are perfect beers with which to lie out in the sun, and they make great summer refreshers. It’s a shame that this style isn’t more available in the United States. But if you like the Hefe, the banana, and the spice but want just a hint of those flavors, it would behoove you to hit the pavement and seek out this style. We like these two Kristallklars:
WEIHENSTEPHANER KRlSTALLWElSSBlER: Brauerei Weihenstephan, Freising, Germany. Light and lemony with light banana and clove. Crisp and refreshing with a hint of wheat. 5.4% ABV.
 
ERDINGER WEISSBIER KRISTALLKLAR:
Erdinger Weissbrau, Erding, Germany. Crisp and clean grain with a touch of banana. Simple and mild. 5.3% ABV.
What about advanced wheats? Yes, there are other great styles of wheat beer, and don’t think that we’re leaving them out. There are dark, strong, intense wheat beers called Dunkelweizen and Weizenbock. There is even a super-sour and complex wheat beer called Berliner Weiss. We talk about these beers later on in this book; however, for the Neophyte, these beers might be a bit much. Remember, we are taking baby steps here. But if you have become a wheat-o phile and are curious about other wheat beers out there, please refer to Chapter 4, where we talk about these amazing styles.
Believe It or Not: Beers That Don’t Taste Like Beer
Every once in a great while, we will run across a person who has been so harmed by bad beer or so turned off by the marketing of said bad beer that they decide to turn away from beer forever. In these instances, more beer therapy than baby steps is needed. These people need shock therapy. They need to be awakened to the possibility that beer can taste like nothing they’ve ever imagined before.
While this therapy has been wildly successful, it’s also a bittersweet method for us because of the reaction that it invokes, which almost always is, “This doesn’t taste like beer at all!” No, no, no! We don’t want that reaction! We don’t want you to like this beer because it
doesn’t taste like beer
! We want you to love this beer because it’s representative of the variety of beer flavors that exist, the imagination that brewers have, and the skill with which they apply their knowledge and art. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: There is a beer out there for every person, even the haters. These are beers that “don’t taste like beer” but do indeed taste like beer.
Fruity Wheat Beers
THIS BEER’S FOR YOU IF YOU LIKE: CHERRIES. PLUMS. LEMONS. BLUEBERRY PANCAKES. STRAWBERRY PIE. WHEAT.
Because wheat contributes so little to a beer’s flavor while producing some much-desired qualities—such as head retention and a smooth, full mouthfeel—it is the perfect style to use as a base for many fruit beers. There was a time when virtually every brewpub we walked into was serving a wildly popular Raspberry Wheat Beer. Though this isn’t the case now, there are still quite a few of these fruity wheats. But fruited wheat beers aren’t limited to berries. Virtually every fruit and quite a few spices have found their way into a wheat beer recipe at some level. Although none has had the staying power and popularity to earn a separate style distinction, there are simply too many fruited wheat beers on the market to not acknowledge them.
Blueberry, apricot, and raspberry wheat are popular with the new-to beer crowd. The fruit is right there in the name and draws in those looking for a fruity flavor profile. Instead of leaving the fruit flavor to the esters in yeast, these brews usually add some fruit or fruit concentrate or syrup to a wheat beer. Here are some of the fruity wheat beers that we imbibe on a regular basis:
LOST COAST APRICOT WHEAT: Lost Coast Brewing, Eureka, California. Sweet and fruity, lots of bubbles. 5% ABV.
 
HE’BREW ORIGIN POMEGRANATE ALE: Schmaltz Brewing Company, San Francisco, California. Malty sweet, with a sour pomegranate flavor. High alcohol, but the fruitiness makes it a good choice for Neophytes. 8% ABV.
 
WATERMELON WHEAT BEER: 21st Amendment Brewery, San Francisco, California. Light candy watermelon flavor mixed with biscuit wheat, served in a can. 5.2% ABV.
 
SEA DOG BLUE PAW WHEAT BEER: Sea Dog Brewing Company, Bangor, Maine. A refreshing wheat beer made with wild Maine blueberries. Delicious and subtle. 3.5% ABV.
Into the Wild Beer Yonder: Lambics, the Secret Yummy Beer
THIS BEER’S FOR YOU IF YOU LIKE: TART RASPBERRIES. FRESH PEACHES. CANDY. STINKY CHEESE. HISTORY. BEERS WITH FRUITY NOTES. SOURDOUGH BREAD. PRETTY GLASSES. AIRBORNE YEAST. LOW ALCOHOL. NO BITTERNESS. SOUR FUNK. SWEETNESS. ACIDITY.
Lambic is an extra-special style of ale created through an unruly process called spontaneous fermentation. This refers to the magic of the yeast used in Lambics, which is in fact the wild, naturally occurring yeast that floats around in the air waiting to turn liquids into beer. Yes, it’s true; these yeasts drop in on the brew and create a crazy, often sour beer that is sometimes combined with macerated fruit. Lambic hails from the Senne River Valley in Belgium. This region naturally holds the magic bacteria and airborne yeast essential for this beer. The word
lambic
comes from the village of Lembeek, which is in the municipality of Halle, Belgium. This style gets extra props because it is the oldest style of beer and is the only style still fermented wildly. The magic of spontaneous fermentation is the way beer was made way, way back in the day, when people didn’t even know about the effect of airborne yeast; they just knew that the liquid left out made them happy. So know that when you are sipping a Lambic, you are tasting history (
pause for effect
).

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