The Natural History of Us (40 page)

“Welcome
to the Round Rock Kick-off to Summer Rodeo!”

The announcer's voice is tinny as it cracks over the loud speaker, but the crowd goes berserk regardless. The energy ripples through me, bringing chills in its wake, and I beam so wide my face hurts.

“I'm proud of you, CC.” Cade squeezes my left hand, Faith does the same to my right, and together, we take in the insanity unfolding around us.

“I have to go check in for my event,” he says, “but I'll be back as soon as I can. Faith knows to record your ride if I miss it, or I'll eat all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the doghouse kitchen.”

Faith extends a pink, sparkly fingernail. “You wouldn't dare. You mess with a girl's candy, you mess with the girl. And duh,
of course
I'm recording it. My bestie is a real life cowgirl. I have an entire vlog dedicated to rodeo fashion and terminology.”

“Dear God, your poor viewers,” I tease, winking at Cade. “Don't you worry about me, just go kick some saddle bronc ass.”

My exhibition ride is part of the opening kickoff, but the day is jam-packed with other events, too. While we were dating, Cade put his own rodeo career on hold, only doing the occasional local event even though he loved it as much as I did. I never asked him to give it up—he decided to step back on his
own, saying he knew how hard it was for me to be around this world. And I let him. It only goes to show how much better we truly are as friends than a couple. He deserves to be out here, chasing his dreams, so it makes me happy to see him getting back in the saddle. Like,
literally
.

Grinning at my cheesy pun, I release Faith's hand so I can throw both arms around Cade. It's only awkward for a second before he closes his arms around me and hugs me tight.

“Good luck, Donovan.”

“Same to you, Williams.”

We're both smiling when we step back and say goodbye, still us even if we're not together. Our friendship was always the best part of us anyway, and if we lost that, I'd be devastated.

Faith and I stand around, checking out the potential competition, when a tall brunette with a clipboard walks up to us. “Peyton Williams?”

My heart jolts but I somehow manage to find my voice. “Yup. That's me.”

“Time to come on back and get ready.” The woman smiles kindly and winks in a motherly sort of way, then heads off to find her next rider. I turn to Faith, already in the midst of a mini-freak out.

“Oh, crap, am I really about to do this?” Blowing out hard, I concentrate on my breathing and attempt to calm my racing heartbeat. It's currently pounding in a rhythm to match the stampede happening in the center arena.

“Girl, you were born to do this,” Faith replies, bumping my hip. “And you look freaking
amazing
.”

Knowing this is the ultimate compliment my friend can bestow, I check my laugh and say, “Thanks. If the crowd awards style points, I'll be sure to mention you in my thank you speech.”

The brunette catches my eye again as she nears the gate and I release another breath.

“Time to get my ride on.”

It helps that Faith and Mama will be in the stands cheering for me. It'd be nice if Dad was here, too, but today's the championship, and I told him there was no way he was missing it—he couldn't miss it anyway, but I didn't want guilt eating him up.

Only one face is absent that I really wished were here, but he's with Dad, and I haven't heard from him in days. I have no clue where things stand with Justin. We cleared the air, we apologized, we scored an A as a married couple, and survived a weekend of pseudo-parenting. But the future remains one big blur.

I go to close the gate behind me, and Mama appears, running up with a strange smile twitching her lips. She yanks my phone out of her bag and says, “I felt it vibrate and thought you might like to see the message.”

I take it from her hand, curious what could make her look so weird. When I glance down, I get it.

It's a text from Justin.

Ride it fast and ride it well. Go on pretty girl and give ‘em hell
.

My chest swells with emotion and I close my eyes, suddenly in love with technology. No, he didn't say the words, but I feel his love anyway. He thought of me, in the middle of the big game, and that means everything.

But… what does it mean to
him
?

Gah. Why couldn't we do this years ago? Hash things out, discover the truth. Maybe then a future together wouldn't seem so impossible.

When I open my eyes, I find Mama watching me with a knowing expression. “Go,” she says, lifting her chin in the direction the brunette disappeared. “They're waiting for you.”

I hand over the phone and close the gate, hiding my blush behind the slats. Justin's text didn't exactly reveal anything. Lately, I get misty-eyed over cereal commercials.
Graduation, reclaiming a lost passion, and breaking up with your boyfriend tend to do that to a girl. Mama's probably chalking my reaction up to that.

It's not until my back is turned and I'm halfway down the tunnel that she calls out, “Don't think you're not spilling everything when the ride's over, missy!”

I laugh and twist around, busted but happy, and blow her a kiss. Then, I head off to get my horse.

My
pride over my impending exhibition ride sours when I spot the girls hanging around out back. Girls I used to compete against, like Lexi Greene, waiting to go out and ride for
real
. They're here for the main events of the day: barrel-racing, breakaway roping, pole bending, and girls cutting, just to name a few. All events I used to compete (and kick ass) in. Seeing them again, smiling as they catch me up on all their successes, is a bitter pill to swallow… but I do it.

I do it because I'm here, I'm back in the arena, and they haven't seen the last of me.

The same brunette from before, a woman I've since realized is Ty Reynolds, an amazing rider on the circuit, comes up and tells me it's my turn. “Have fun out there,” she says, and I smile at the simplicity of that.
Have fun
.

“Thanks,” I reply. “I think I will.”

Ty walks with me as the announcer talks about Sweet Serenity Ranch, our new rodeo school, and goes over my prior stats in the circuit. As he does, I lock eyes with Lexi, who's standing near the entrance.

The two of us used to be rivals. Every event, we seemed to trade who was the best. Secretly, I enjoyed the extra push she gave me, used it to fuel me in training, but I liked it even better when I beat her on a run.

Lexi narrows her eyes, her lips pursed, and as she curls a long strand of blonde hair around her finger, I wonder what she's thinking. Is she glad I'm back? Does she wish I'd stayed away? It's not until she lifts her chin and her lips twitch the slightest bit that I know.

That almost smile gives me the extra shot of confidence I need, and it acts like a boost of adrenaline.

This exhibition ride isn't about impressing anyone with my speed. I don't have to go fast. The other riders haven't, adding flare in the way of showmanship and personality, rather than hard riding.

But that's not me.

Ty nods me on, and I take a deep breath. Then… I take off.

Oakley's with me from the start. She remembers every movement, every cue. As we enter the arena, we're fully in synch, sharing one mind, moving our bodies as one. The sunbaked dirt and popcorn scent welcome me home as the dust circles around the air, coating my tongue. A brief moment of panic comes as we approach the first barrel, but we fly around it, easy as breathing.

Triumph courses through my veins as we circle the second barrel and I throw my head back in a laugh.

How could I have waited so long to feel this again? The rush is indescribable. The joy, uncontainable. I hear Mama and Faith screaming my name as I thunder past the front row of the stands at the completion of the course, the wind catching my vest emblazoned with Sweet Serenity's logo.

I think I did us proud.

Oakley and I make our way to the alleyway, and I lean over to whisper, “I love you, girl.” The perk of her ears says she loves me, too.

I ride past the other riders, feeling my chest expand with each bit of praise they throw my way. Soon, I won't need the compliments. I won't seek out accolades. One day, I'll be confident in my ability again. But right now, I'm soaking up every drop of their praise like a crusty old sponge in the ocean.

Signs direct me to the area I'm supposed to drop off Oakley, and when I hop off her back, I find Lexi waiting for me, leaned against a column.

“I'm impressed,” she says, fiddling with a blade of hay. “Glad to see you still have it in you. I'd hate to kick your ass on the circuit if it wasn't a real battle.”

I laugh, one, because I'm pretty sure she's messing with me, and two, because even her old taunts can't steal my joy.

“Huh. Well, if memory serves, I'm pretty sure I beat you out for all-around cowgirl the year before I got sick,” I remind her sweetly. “I have no doubt I'll do it again.”

Lexi digs her tongue into her cheek, trying to hide her smile. It fails as badly as her taunt. She missed this rivalry every bit as much as I did. She raises her eyebrow in challenge and says, “Bring it, Williams.”

“You can count on it, Greene.”

I hand Oakley's reins over to the assistant on staff, and smile my thanks before turning back to my nemesis. When I do, I leave her with one parting thought.

“Enjoy the easy season, Lex, because next year, I'm coming for you.”

Damn
, I feel like an idiot.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the glass door outside the building and shake a disgusted head. Cowboy hat, leather boots, and a black blazer my Gramps would've worn. I look like I went shopping in horse boy's closet, but when it comes to Peyton, there's not much I won't do.