The Naughty List (22 page)

“Everything?” he whispered tenderly.

“No.” She kissed him. “Sometimes change is very good.”

David held her tight. “Come to New York. I could stomach having you around some more,” he teased, “until we Integrals decide to bring back human sacrifices. Then you’d come in mighty handy.”

“That’s so sweet,” she chuckled. “Offers like that are really hard to turn down, but I love Penrose’s. As long as my job lasts, I want to stay.”

David swallowed hard. “Does it help to know I love you?”

Rosalie blinked in surprise. She searched his face for the truth.
Oh please, don’t kid about this.
But all she saw was tenderness reflected in his eyes.

“I do, you know,” he murmured. “I loved you from the first time I saw you in that stupid elf hat. I loved you when you threatened me with pepper spray. I loved you when you stood up to Anthony and nearly got killed on account of me and The Book. I love you now, Rosalie Thatcher. I’ve never said that to another woman, human or Integral. I never will.”

“I love you, too,” was all she managed. The words were enough. He kissed her long and slow. She fell willingly into his arms. Eventually, they pulled away from each other although not without regret. They would take the next step, but not tonight. When something felt this right there was no need to rush.

The Baal interrupted their romantic interlude with an irate phone call. He wanted David back on the double. The E.L.F. yelled into the phone, “I’m with Rosalie…yes, she is…none of your damn business…no…I don
’t see how…I said,” he nearly choked out the words, “none of your damn business.” He hung up, glaring at the device in his hand.

Rosalie kissed him on the cheek. “Why don’t you just kill him and get it over with? You know you want to.”

Daviwidth="29" align="justify">“He’s…so…medieval,” David said through clinched teeth. “He insists…” Suddenly, he clapped his mouth shut. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Trouble?”

David brushed it off. “Not to worry. Just Dominic being Dominic.” He kissed her goodbye. “Tomorrow?”

“You betcha.” In a blink the E.L.F. dashed-away. “I wonder who spit in the Baal’s granola?” mused Rosalie. She answered herself with a shrug. When dating an E.L.F. you had to get used to weird Integral business.

Chapter Thirteen

A storm blew in the next day, but Rosalie didn’t notice. She stifled a yawn on her drive to work. David stayed later than usual keeping her awake. Not that she minded. She rather hoped he’d keep her up later than usual from now on.

Rosalie’s first stop was always Marissa’s office. To her surprise, her friend stood in the hallway.

“What are you doing out here?” Rosalie asked cheerfully.

Marissa motioned toward the door with an odd expression. “I found her waiting when I arrived. She says she’s Cupid.”

Rosalie blinked. “What?”

Marissa grabbed her arm, obviously flustered. “You know, Cupid with the bow and arrows. Except she doesn’t have any and she’s a middle-aged lady, wearing a designer suit with really nice shoes and no diaper. Unless she has one on underneath her skirt. Does she?”

“What? Diaper? I don’t…” Rosalie pointed at the door, mouth agape. “Cupid? In there? For me?”

Her friend glanced with apprehension at the office. “I don’t think you should keep her waiting. She doesn’t look at all like the Valentine’s Day cards. She’s kind of official.”

“Official? What does that—”

The question died on her lips when the door yanked open. A prim well-dressed woman in a tailored suit stood on the threshold. “Come in, Ms. Thatcher. Sit down.” She spoke with a command rather than an invitation. Rosalie sunk into a chair feeling like she was back in grade school and called before the principle for hogging the monkey bars. The woman sat behind the desk. In front of her rested an open leather briefcase next to a tablet computer.

“My name is Natalie Jankowski, Cupid Section Chief for Southeast Regional Precinct Three. I was informed by Cupid Division Control you began a romantic involvement with an Elemental Life Form by the name of David Kloss. Is the information correct?”

Rosalie eyed her in trepidation. “Yes…”

“Have you and the E.L.F. had sexual intercourse?”

“What the hell business is that of yours?” she sputtered.

Ms. Jankowski tapped the tablet. “That’s a no.” She glanced up. “Are you planning to within the next fiscal year?”

“You have no right—”

She tapped the screen again. “That’s a yes.” The woman reached into the briefcase. She handed a scroll tied with a velvet ribbon to Rosalie. “This is a Cease-and-Desist order. All romantic involvement with the said David Kloss will be immediately halted until the proper paperwork is filed with Division Control and said adjudication completed to the satisfaction of the central authority.”

Rosalie stared at the scroll. “This is a joke, right?” She flashed a grin. “I get it. David put you up to this.”

Ms. Jankowski squared her shoulders. “I assure to.fy sat byou, Ms. Thatcher, I take my duties as a cupid section chief quite seriously. Human-Integral courtships are only authorized under the dictates of formal procedures long codified into Integral law.” She narrowed her eyes. “Everything is spelled out clearly in the Lover’s Edict, passed at the meeting of the Inter-Deity Summit of 1257, which, as you may not know, led to the eventual incorporation—”

“Sorry,” sneered Rosalie. “I missed the memo.” Who was this person? How dare she come in here and tell her she couldn’t see David any more. She hadn’t known Ms. Jankowski long, but the temptation to wham her on the head with Marissa’s stapler grew exponentially. “I don’t know anything about these formal procedures,” she exploded angrily, “and I don’t care. You can’t come in here and dictate—”

Ms. Jankowski raised her eyebrow. “He said you had a temper.”

Rosalie’s heart dropped. Did David send her? After last night did he get second thoughts about becoming involved with a human? Was this his way of breaking up? Her mouth felt like sandpaper. He wouldn’t. Not like this. “W-Who?” she croaked out.

“The Baal.”

Rosalie suddenly knew what it meant to see red. She had a vision of Dominic Schiller’s body parts strewn all over Marissa’s tidy office. It made her happy.

Ms. Jankowski continued, “The Baal filed an official report last night with our investigatory branch in New York concerning your unauthorized relationship. It’s all explained quite clearly in Subsection 4a. Once proper procedural formats are reinstituted, you and the Integral Kloss may resume romantic overtures. If you have any questions feel free to call my office any time during normal business hours. For your convenience, I enclosed my card.”

She smoothed down her perfectly coiffed hair. “I understand your impatience, Ms. Thatcher, but you need to take this seriously. Rules are meant for a purpose and breaking them has consequences.” For an instant, the cupid’s expression softened. “However, statistical analysis shows in an acceptable number of human-integral pair-bondings, coitus is achieved in a not unreasonable length of time. Certainly, long before your ovaries are no long capable of producing a fertile egg.” She snapped the briefcase shut with a decisive click. “Good day, Ms. Thatcher.” Unlike David who simply vanished, Ms. Jankowski disappeared in a
poof
of pink smoke.

Rosalie clenched the scroll. “Arrgh!” she bellowed.

“Eeep,” came a strangled yelp from the doorway. Marissa stood white-faced clutching a take-out tray with two cups of coffee. “I thought…coffee…drink…but lady…poof.”

“Yeah.” Rosalie took the tray from her. “Some of them do that.”

Marissa staggered across the office on wobbly legs and collapsed in the desk chair. “You told me. I said I believed you. I kinda did, but really didn’t because what you said was nuts.” She grinned weakly. “Now, I totally do.”

Rosalie patted her hand sympathetically. “I understand completely. I had the same first reaction.” She handed her a cup of coffee. “We really should drink something stiffer.”

Marissa cradled the hot drink in her hands. “So what did, I can’t believe I’m saying this, Cupid want?”

“Ms. Jankowski was not
the
Cupid. She was merely
a
cupid section chief for Southeast Regional Precinct Three,” Rosalie said and filled her in on the cease and desist order.

“Damn,” Marissa muttered, “that’s harsh. What will you do?”

“Call David for one thing.”

“Good luck.” Marissa leaned back in her chair and took a steadying sip of coffee. “Give me a heads up if the Tooth Fairy plans to stop by.”

Rosalie tried to call David several times during the day, but only got a message the call could not be completed. Don’t panic, she told herself. It’s only solar flares screwing with cell tower transmissions
.

After work, she bounded up the stairs to her apartment carrying the scroll. The prickle of worry building during the day now poked with a constant jab. As she unlocked the door, a delicious aroma wafted into the hallway, and her spirits instantly lifted. She relaxed. Wait until David heard what happened. He’d get such a laugh…

Grace looked up from stirring a pot on the stove. “Hi, Rosalie.”

Uh-oh.
The jabbing pain returned.
“Um, hi. Where’s David?”

“He and Brian dashed-away me in and then I sent them both home. His father is trying his best right now to convince David not to challenge Dominic to a blood duel. Trust me, it’s better not to be in their company at the present. They’re both using very colorful language concerning the Baal. Did you know Brian curses in fluent ancient Norse?”

“Grace…?”

“Sit. I thought the situation should be discussed as one human gal to another. I made chili while I waited. It’s darn good if I do say so myself. Have some.”

Rosalie politely declined. “Uh, Grace, what is going on?”

“Welcome to the Medieval Ages.” Grace held out her hand for the scroll. She untied the ribbon and unrolled the parchment along the length of the table. “The standard order covering the Lover’s Edict,” she murmured. “Who delivered it?”

“Natalie Jankowski.”

Grace shook her head. “Never understood why cupids are such tight asses.”

Rosalie swallowed back the taut knot of fear in her stomach. “Does this mean I can’t see David anymore?”

Grace reached over and squeezed her hand. “The circumstances aren’t as grim as that, but the order complicates things.” She tapped the scroll. “The wardens mandated the Lover’s Edict hundreds of years ago as human-Integral mating became the norm rather than the exception. In reality they enacted the decree to protect humans more than Integrals. Many of the early sexual relationships were not exactly consensual, if you catch my drift. They caused more than one bloody altercation, bad for both sides. The wardens passed a bunch of laws to prevent further mayhem.”

“But we’re consensual,” Rosalie blurted out and then flushed bright red. “I mean we will be…if we…you know.”

Grace smiled warmly. “No need to go in to details. You and David are both over twenty-one and, beside, Brian and I think you’re great which meets the first qualification.”

“Qualification?”

“Here.” She tapped a section near the bottom. “Hidden in the fine print is a list of all the requirements for a relationship to progress, starting with the approval of the parents. The scroll contains lots of others, I’m afraid, mostly concerning duties and responsibilities of humans involved with Integrals.”

Rosalie gaped at the long paragraph filled with legal whys and wherefores. “Did you suffer through all this?”

Grace’s jaw tightened. “No, and you shouldn’t either. Integrals are cautious by nature and they’re not stupid. They have the nhey this?eed for secrecy drilled into them from birth. They start romantic relationships slowly making certain partners can handle the truth. Of course, you and David met under exceptional circumstances, but you accepted Integral existence and earned respect for your defense of The Book. The truth is, Rosalie, most Integrals take a casual approach to the old edict. Brian and I certainly did. Frankly, few bother with the formal application, but,” she sighed, “The Lover’s Edict is still legal, valid, and binding. Once an infraction is called to the attention of the cupids, they are honor-bound to enforce the restrictions imposed on a couple. Hence the ancient Nordic cursing from my husband and the quest for a blood duel from my son.”

“Why does the Baal care about us?” Rosalie demanded. “Doesn’t he have more important things on his mind?”

“In reality, I think the affair with Anthony rattled Dominic. He’s lost touch with his own clan. His uncle is the champion of the old guard and puts pressure on Dominic to maintain the status quo. They see the unquestioned authority of the wardens and the clan lords slipping away. They don’t realize it’s already gone. The laws simply haven’t kept pace. Ancient ways should be adapted to a modern life. The Lover’s Edict is one of the laws Brian wants amended. We need new guidelines in place to help Integrals blend safely into a human world without all the medieval nonsense. Until we do…” She eyed Rosalie sympathetically.

“David and I put up with the medieval nonsense. What happens if we don’t?”

Grace looked suddenly uncomfortable. “David would be banished, forbidden contact with all Integrals.”

“Including his family?” The look in the woman’s eyes told her everything. Rosalie drew herself up in a huff.
I’ll be damned if I let that happen. David and I have a right to fall in love—no matter what obstacles are in the way.
“Tell David to stop planning the blood duel. I’m in. What’s the first step?”

Grace flashed a smile. “You tell him yourself because the next requirement is for you and David to formally plead your case in front of the wardens tonight.”

Rosalie gulped. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“The sooner you get the formalities over with the better. Don’t worry. Brian and I will support you. So will others.” She whipped out her cell phone and made a brief call. An instant later both Brian and David dashed-away into the apartment.

David’s face flushed with anger. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe they’re making us go through all this crap.”