The Next Contestant (31 page)

SOMETIME LATER SUNDAY
morning, I decide I want to go home, needing to be alone. Everyone is still sleeping. I scribble a small note, thanking them for listening to me babble last night and that I’d be fine.

The sun is bright but my soul is dark and filled with pain. I make my way to the fourth floor, to my dorm and drop my belongings in the living room. I should really clean or work out, but I have no energy, no desire to do anything so I climb into bed, wanting nothing more than to heal my shattered heart. I grab a pillow, curl into it, and let the tears flow, which turn into ugly, heaving sobs.

How naïve am I? What an epic blow to my ignorant self. I’ve lost something I never really had. The truth hurts. Jax has never been mine, not the way I wanted him to be. He’s whatever you want him to be in the moment but all is lost once he’s had his way with you.

The week drags on and I find it hard to concentrate in school, in dance, in life itself. I wish I could skip to the future, to a time I could look back at this and laugh, and no longer feel the pain.

Everyone, everything is annoying. Friday, at practice, Sandy keeps nagging me, telling me she needs to talk to me, but I’ve been brushing her off. Fortunately, my entire body and soul seem to obey when we practice for the upcoming dance competition. My anger seems to spur me, and I’m perfectly in tune with every move, every step of the routine. Coach is exuberant, elated and over the top with praise. I guess it’s the only good thing that’s come out of this gut-wrenching heartache.

My only comfort is my bed and pillow, and that’s only in sleep. And poor Tiffany. She’s tried so hard to cheer me up and sometimes it works but only briefly. My phone has been dead since Sunday and I’ve left it that way. No need to torture myself with whatever texts, if any, Jax might send.

It’s midevening on Friday and my pathetic self is, again, in bed. Someone is beating on my door, but I ignore it and bury my head under my pillow. Probably Kolby, whom I want nothing to do with. Could be Jax, but I doubt it. More likely, it’s the bitch coming to warn me off, to rub in my face what is hers. The thought makes me furious. The knocking doesn’t cease, which angers me further, enough to make me get out of bed and throw the front door open.

“What the hell do you wa—”

Sandy comes barreling in, slams the door shut. She comes at me, grabs my arm, drags me to the couch, and shoves me down.

Standing over me, she points her finger directly in my face. “Don’t say a goddamn word. Not a single peep until I’m done,” she shouts. “Got it?”

I nod, too startled to utter a word.

“All week you’ve avoided me and that is something you shouldn’t have done! You look like shit, but I don’t feel sorry for you. Why, you ask? Because all this self-loathing you’re doing is time you’ve wasted by blowing me off when I have very important information. Goddamn you,” she says and starts pacing. I want to tell her to hurry up and spit it out. That nothing she tells me is going to make me feel better, but I sit and silently watch her.

Sandy stops and turns to face me. Grabbing my arms, she gives me a little shake. “He was set up. I swear! That picture, the one with her, with her hand down his pants, Jax did not want that! He ripped her hand away, but before he did, Kolby snapped a picture. I think he sent it to her, too. Your brother seemed to think it was hilarious. I badgered him about it but he shrugged me off saying Jax wanted it, that he was just embarrassed because he got caught with her hand in his pants. But girl, I know that’s bullshit. Jax did NOT want anything to do with her. You have to believe me.”

I can’t hold my tongue. “He let her straddle his lap, let her kiss him. If he didn’t want her, then he wouldn’t have allowed it. The fact that he invited her, and me? Why? So I could witness what it really is, Sandy. His way of saying he’s with her, and intends to be with her, only proves I mean nothing to him. He got what he wanted from me and clearly proved that by his actions that night.” God, I don’t want to keep reliving the images of him with her. Or the fact that I was stupid enough to believe I meant more to him.

Sandy slaps me, hard. I’m stunned, and stare at her, speechless, as I cup my cheek.

“You listen to me and you listen to me good,” she shouts furiously at me. “Understand?”

I nod.

“I heard Kolby talking to Jaden and laughing, so I listened harder. Kolby had Jaden use some service that you can put in your cell phone number, or anyone’s number, and text whoever, and the recipient of the text will see it’s from said number, in this case, it was Jax’s number they used. They used his number to send you a text, which of course would come up as Jax. So that text was them getting you to come to the cabin and they set it up so that bitch, Timber, would be there too. I saw Jax’s reaction when she showed up!

“Listen to me,” Sandy screams and shakes me as she does. “You and Jax were set up! They want you to hate him because Kolby, though he won’t admit it, doesn’t want to kick Jax out of the fraternity. But he’s adamant about keeping you two apart. It’s about Kolby’s reputation, about representing the fraternity and not going back on an oath that he created. The brothers won’t look kindly upon him if he dissolves and breaks down. Honestly, I don’t think any of those boys really give two shits about it. I hear things, what they talk about when they don’t know I’m listening. And the shit I hear… girl! This is nothing.” She throws her hands up and sighs, exasperated.

I think about this, and then a twisted thought pops in my head. “Well, I’m sick of all of it. Sick of his so-called pretending in order to appease my brother. If he can pretend, then so can I. Let’s see how he likes the same shit he’s shoved in my face, shoved in his face.”

“Oh, girl. You’re scaring me.” Sandy plops down beside me, slings her arm over my shoulder, and gives me a devious smile. “But it’s brilliant. I like it!”

“Hang on,” I tell Sandy as I lurch off the couch to retrieve my cell phone. I plug it in and wait for it to power up since the battery is dead.

When there is enough juice to allow me to turn it on, I decide to be brave and text Jax. Ignoring the shitload of unopened texts, I immediately delete his previous texts and then type my text to him:

K:
I deleted all your texts, all your voicemails. Please don’t rehash whatever you’ve sent. I don’t need any sorry explanations. I get it, okay? You have to play up to my brother, who I’m certain is on to this little thing we had going on, but in order to save your ass, because I’m sure it needs saving, I regretfully need to part ways with you.

I ponder and my finger is shaking, undecided whether to add more to the text or just send it and see what he says.

“Send it,” Sandy scolds.

I force myself to send it.

His response is quicker than I anticipated.

J: Don’t say that! We just have to be more careful. You showing up at the cabin was a bad idea. And I swear I didn’t invite that bitch! I swear, Kimber, and I didn’t invite her to sit on my lap. I know it looked bad, but again, I swear on my own brother’s grave that I only tried to shove her off but she wouldn’t budge. I didn’t kiss her back. You have to believe me.

K:
It was more than I could swallow. I didn’t just show up. Apparently you invited me via text. Even though you were unaware of it. Sorry I surprised you. That was never my intention. But as you said, we have to lie low… be more careful. Make it look good in front of my brother. I fully intend to do that, to help you out. So with that, I have to let you go. Going to Muze with the girls.

J: Thank you. Might see you later. You know it’s a Muze night for the fraternity. Have fun. I’ll be secretly watching you.

I toss my phone on the table.
Yes, yes you will, Jax. I hope you like the show.

“Adda girl! Get ready. I’ll meet you there later.” Sandy jumps up and she’s off to primp herself up. For my brother, the dick-wad, I’m sure.

My mood has shifted from gloom to excitement, with a splash of devious. I jump off the couch to get ready. And by getting ready, I mean going all out. I want to make him sweat, to see what he can’t have, what he has to stay away from.

WE’RE AT MUZE
and I continually search for her. I begin to wonder if she’s going to show up. The timing couldn’t be better since Kolby stayed home with Sandy.

I see Tiffany first, then a few familiar faces before I spot Kimber. She’s wearing a lacy thin dress that barely covers her ass but it’s fucking hot. She glances my way and I can’t help the massive smile covering my face. As I approach her, she closes her eyes, then opens them slowly. She smirks and…

What the hell? She takes off, weaving through the sea of people, away from me. Every time I get close, she does the same thing. Closes her eyes, opens them slowly, then smirks and changes her direction. After playing cat and mouse half the night, I fucking give up. I don’t know what the hell kind of game she’s got going on, but if she won’t let me catch her, I’m not playing this shit with her anymore.

I drive home pissed off. Probably disturbing the peace by driving recklessly, squealing tires around corners I’m taking too fast. I slam the car into park in the driveway and don’t bother locking it. I’m too fucking furious.

Thank fuck the house is empty, all but Kolby and Sandy snuggling on the couch. Kolby glances at me but says nothing as I storm past him and take the steps two at a time.

After I park my ass on the bed, I text Kimber.

What the fuck?

I wait, and wait, and wait, but she doesn’t respond. Probably part of her bullshit plan or whatever.

I don’t bother texting her again. She can respond first or I won’t bother.

The following evening, I head to Muze, my gut telling me she’ll be there again. This time all the guys, including Kolby, show up.

Once I’m clear of Kolby, I search for her. I spot her in a very short red skirt with some white wraparound top that doesn’t cover the skin on her back. And again, she gives me the same closed eyes, then the smirk after she opens them. But then, she leans into some dude and whispers in his ear. He leads her to the dance floor and when her arms are wrapped around his neck, she peeks over his shoulder and winks at me.

I head in her direction but she waggles a finger at me. I continue anyway. She grabs the guy and leads him off the dance floor. What the hell is this shit all about? The guys? Ignoring me, running away when I get close? What the fuck? I want her. I want her so fucking bad. So why the hell is she ditching me?

Fuck it. Two can play this game.

I catch a group of girls nearby eyeing me. I put on the charm, throw on a seductive smile, eye the short haired blonde and approach her. They’re all giggling and whispering. I turn to glance over my shoulder and notice Kimber watching me.
Good
. Time to play. Turning back to the group of girls, I approach the cute little blonde.

She seems nervous. I lean down and whisper in her ear. “Care to dance?”

“Okay,” she says and I take her hand and lead her onto the dance floor. Next to Kimber.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Ella.”

“Nice to meet you, Ella. I’m—”

“Jax Nash. I know who you are. Doesn’t
everyone
?” she teases and gives me a little punch. I grab her hand and spin her out then back to me. And do it again and again. She’s laughing and enjoying herself and I pretend to do the same while sneaking glances at Kimber.

I watch Kimber as she whispers something in what’s his face’s ear. Then she leaves his side and drifts off into the crowd. She reappears a few minutes later completely avoiding me.

A slow song plays and she’s suddenly intimately close to dick-wad, sliding her hands up and down his back. He leans in, dips his head and then he’s kissing her neck.

Fucking bitch. I’m so goddamn mad but then I turn my focus to the little pixie. Kimber wants to play dirty, fine. I pull my new friend close, my lips so close I can feel her panting breaths. I take the plunge and kiss her and she accepts. I deepen the kiss, my eyes on Kimber who’s glowering at me. She grimaces, her brows furrowed and then she grabs fuck-lips hand and storms off the dance floor. I smile wide knowing she’s spitting mad jealous, but she asked for it.